I have a client who is actually a third wife. Her husband has five
children from his first two marriages. The children range in age from
7 to 19. "Susan" has no children of her own. She and her husband have
decided together they won't be having any more.
Susan now bears the infamous title of "Step-Mother." She has no
desire to be their mother - each of them has a mother. She was a
little uncertain about being a step-mother - three of them have
already had one of those as well and it wasn't the greatest of
experiences. But, she does love their father. He loves his children.
And, she wants to find a place in their lives and maybe - if she's
lucky - a place in their hearts as well.
Well - she found a way!
Susan attended a wedding one weekend. Displayed on the wall at the
reception was a very large, very beautiful family tree showing the
bride and groom and five generations of their respective families.
Throughout the reception she overheard comments about what a great
gift that was; how it was such an honor to the families of these two
wonderful people; how it really helped the families feel connected to
each other, to the bride and groom, and to the past. Someone also
commented on how important it is to give your children "roots and
wings." Another responded that you had to give them "roots before you
CAN give them wings."...