- aharlib@...

ROTFL! Passing this on!

Yuletide Cheer!

Amy

> What Happens When Engineers think too much about Christmas...

>

> 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species

> of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are

> insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer,

> which only Santa has seen.

>

> 2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since

> Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Jewish

> children, that reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378

> million

> or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8

> million

> homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

>

> 3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to time zones

> and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This

> works

> out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian

> household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park,

> hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,

> distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get

> back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next

> house.

> Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly

> (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we

> will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total

> trip of 75 1/2 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means

> that

> Santa's sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the

> speed of

> sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses

> space

> probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.

>

> 4. The sleighs payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that

> each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds),

> the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons not counting Santa, who is

> inexorably described as very overweight. On land, confessional

> reindeer can

> pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer"

> (see

> point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the

> job

> with 8 or even 9, we need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight,

> not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison

> this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

>

> 5. Also, 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates

> enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same

> manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead

> pair of reindeer will absorb 14.2 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per

> second. Each. In short, they will burst

> into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of

> reindeer, and

> creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be

> vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will

> be

> subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of

> gravity. A 300

> pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015

> pounds

> of force.

>

> 6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.

>

> **********************************************************************

> ********

>

> "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

>

> Mark Twain

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Yahoo! Groups Links

>

>

> - Happy Holidays, Amy!

Amy Harlib <aharlib@...> wrote:

aharlib@...

ROTFL! Passing this on!

Yuletide Cheer!

Amy

> What Happens When Engineers think too much about Christmas...

"La'V' is always watching...Be careful who you talk to." - The Side Street Chonicles by C.W. Badie

>

> 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species

> of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are

> insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer,

> which only Santa has seen.

>

> 2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since

> Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Jewish

> children, that reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378

> million

> or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8

> million

> homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

>

> 3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to time zones

> and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This

> works

> out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian

> household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park,

> hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,

> distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get

> back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next

> house.

> Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly

> (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we

> will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total

> trip of 75 1/2 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means

> that

> Santa's sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the

> speed of

> sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses

> space

> probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.

>

> 4. The sleighs payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that

> each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds),

> the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons not counting Santa, who is

> inexorably described as very overweight. On land, confessional

> reindeer can

> pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer"

> (see

> point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the

> job

> with 8 or even 9, we need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight,

> not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison

> this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

>

> 5. Also, 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates

> enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same

> manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead

> pair of reindeer will absorb 14.2 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per

> second. Each. In short, they will burst

> into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of

> reindeer, and

> creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be

> vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will

> be

> subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of

> gravity. A 300

> pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015

> pounds

> of force.

>

> 6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.

>

> **********************************************************************

> ********

>

> "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

>

> Mark Twain

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Yahoo! Groups Links

>

>

>

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