Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.
 

Re: [Black SciFi Horror Fantasy Club] What Happens When Engineers Think Too Much About Christmas

Expand Messages
  • Amy Harlib
    aharlib@earthlink.net ROTFL! Passing this on! Yuletide Cheer! Amy
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 23, 2006
      aharlib@...
      ROTFL! Passing this on!
      Yuletide Cheer!
      Amy


      > What Happens When Engineers think too much about Christmas...
      >
      > 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species
      > of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
      > insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer,
      > which only Santa has seen.
      >
      > 2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since
      > Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Jewish
      > children, that reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378
      > million
      > or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8
      > million
      > homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
      >
      > 3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to time zones
      > and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This
      > works
      > out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian
      > household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park,
      > hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
      > distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get
      > back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next
      > house.
      > Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly
      > (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we
      > will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total
      > trip of 75 1/2 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means
      > that
      > Santa's sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the
      > speed of
      > sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses
      > space
      > probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.
      >
      > 4. The sleighs payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that
      > each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds),
      > the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons not counting Santa, who is
      > inexorably described as very overweight. On land, confessional
      > reindeer can
      > pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer"
      > (see
      > point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the
      > job
      > with 8 or even 9, we need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight,
      > not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison
      > this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
      >
      > 5. Also, 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
      > enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same
      > manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead
      > pair of reindeer will absorb 14.2 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per
      > second. Each. In short, they will burst
      > into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of
      > reindeer, and
      > creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be
      > vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will
      > be
      > subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of
      > gravity. A 300
      > pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015
      > pounds
      > of force.
      >
      > 6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.
      >
      > **********************************************************************
      > ********
      >
      > "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
      >
      > Mark Twain
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > Yahoo! Groups Links
      >
      >
      >
    • Astromancer
      Happy Holidays, Amy! Amy Harlib wrote: aharlib@earthlink.net ROTFL! Passing this on! Yuletide Cheer! Amy ... La V is always
      Message 2 of 2 , Dec 29, 2006
        Happy Holidays, Amy!

        Amy Harlib <aharlib@...> wrote:
        aharlib@...
        ROTFL! Passing this on!
        Yuletide Cheer!
        Amy

        > What Happens When Engineers think too much about Christmas...
        >
        > 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species
        > of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
        > insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer,
        > which only Santa has seen.
        >
        > 2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since
        > Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Jewish
        > children, that reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378
        > million
        > or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8
        > million
        > homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
        >
        > 3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to time zones
        > and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This
        > works
        > out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian
        > household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park,
        > hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
        > distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get
        > back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next
        > house.
        > Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly
        > (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we
        > will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total
        > trip of 75 1/2 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means
        > that
        > Santa's sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the
        > speed of
        > sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses
        > space
        > probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.
        >
        > 4. The sleighs payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that
        > each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds),
        > the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons not counting Santa, who is
        > inexorably described as very overweight. On land, confessional
        > reindeer can
        > pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer"
        > (see
        > point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the
        > job
        > with 8 or even 9, we need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight,
        > not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison
        > this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
        >
        > 5. Also, 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
        > enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same
        > manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead
        > pair of reindeer will absorb 14.2 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per
        > second. Each. In short, they will burst
        > into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of
        > reindeer, and
        > creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be
        > vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will
        > be
        > subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of
        > gravity. A 300
        > pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015
        > pounds
        > of force.
        >
        > 6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.
        >
        > **********************************************************************
        > ********
        >
        > "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
        >
        > Mark Twain
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > Yahoo! Groups Links
        >
        >
        >





        "La'V' is always watching...Be careful who you talk to." - The Side Street Chonicles by C.W. Badie
        __________________________________________________
        Do You Yahoo!?
        Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
        http://mail.yahoo.com

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.