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Question about family problems

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  • satters2004
    Dear Venerable Monks, Happy New Year to all of you! I am seeking advice for family problems. I have quite a few family members (parents, siblings) that are
    Message 1 of 2 , Jan 2, 2004
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      Dear Venerable Monks,

      Happy New Year to all of you! I am seeking advice for family
      problems. I have quite a few family members (parents, siblings) that
      are mean spirited towards me and my family. I have tried loving
      kindness, patience, good deeds, etc. however it seems the happier I
      am, the kinder I am, the more mean spirited they are. It is effecting
      my practice and constantly on my mind. How should this be handled?
      Thank you for your time.

      With metta,
      Dawn
    • Nagasena
      I am sorry for being late. I thought someone has answered your question. There are a couple of ways to deal with the situations. Maybe something has gone wrong
      Message 2 of 2 , Jan 12, 2004
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        I am sorry for being late. I thought someone has answered your question. There are a couple of ways to deal with the situations. Maybe something has gone wrong in your part of reaction. I think your loving kindness; good deeds or patience have lots of ego. For example, you may think that I love them, care them why they don’t care about me? The ego will generate such question. If my comment is true, you first have to deal with your ego to reduce to a minimum.

        Secondly, you have to accept the situation by understanding of your own Kamma. You should accept as your parents are. Thirdly, you have to make effort to see your parents' Kamma, behaviours etc. as clear and true nature as possible. These observations may find the way out at least 'how to cope with the situation' when situation creates negativity.

        We all possess different Kamma, which we cannot control some body’s else. Your own family problem is evident. This understanding may bring some extents of your problem into solution.

        Fourthly and finally, if none of these practices bring you solution, you should choose to remove from the place, where situation create, temporarily or extensively without reaction. There is no point to stay together if all practices fail to bring a peace and happiness of life.

        With Metta and Happy New year!
        Nagasena

        -----Original Message-----
        From: satters2004 [mailto:satters@...]
        Sent: 02 January 2004 08:51
        To: SanghaOnline@yahoogroups.com
        Subject: [SanghaOnline] Question about family problems


        Dear Venerable Monks,

        Happy New Year to all of you! I am seeking advice for family
        problems. I have quite a few family members (parents, siblings) that
        are mean spirited towards me and my family. I have tried loving
        kindness, patience, good deeds, etc. however it seems the happier I
        am, the kinder I am, the more mean spirited they are. It is effecting
        my practice and constantly on my mind. How should this be handled?
        Thank you for your time.

        With metta,
        Dawn





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