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433different questions

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  • Hanna Stocksick
    Aug 6, 2003
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      Dear venerable sir,

      thank you very much for the suggested website. I checked it, printed it and I'll have to read it some times to make sure I assimilated it right.

      Sir, I have to open my heart to you, cause this is really important to me. If I'm being disrespectful or asking too much, please let me know, cause this is not my intention. I've searched for a spiritual path for me almost my whole life. I'm 42 now, but since I was 15 I was engaged in some sort of religion. So I was vegetarian for 7 years, then I tried different religions, like Hare Krsna, Jehova Witnesses, also Allan Kardec and some others. I also have had contact with book about angels and with Yogananda. I got to the point now where I don't want a religion anymore. I've got tired of having people telling me what to believe in, what to do, what not to do, etc. But I want to know more, I feel like my mind starves for knowledge. So I started reading about Buddhism, very simple book to understand the base of it and recently I found this place on the net where you answer the questions that people have about Buddhism.

      So yesterday, I read about rebirth on your website. Now I am totally confused. It's difficult for me to understand Buddhism sometimes, too deep for me. And here come the questions I have...
      - There is no Creator according to Buddhism, so are we just like part of this "thing" where we came from, are we just part of it? If we are not individuals, unique souls, do we stop being ourselves, like reasoning, being aware of things when we die? Do we go back to this "thing" when we die?
      - How come gurus like Yogananda and many others talk about a loving God? I think different people perceive this differently, maybe according to their level of espirituality. Am I right?
      - It seems to me that suffering will always be around, even if we reach enligthment there will be others experiencing suffering somewhere. Is that right? If it is, that is really disturbing... Honestly, I feel confused and soooo lonely. It was convenient to believe that there was "somebody" up there watching over me, and now I think I was just mistaken.

      I really want to know, to learn. I'm reading about Buddhism, I started to meditate (although it's pretty difficult to me yet) and I decided to eat vegetarian for at least one day a week. As I said, I got to a point in life where I want to be a better person, I want to learn and I crave for it, but maybe I am just too stupid to understand Buddhism...

      Would you please help me? I'd appreciate any kind of help, like referring books or articles to read, etc.

      Thank you very much for listening!
      Hanna




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