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Re: [S-R] "Single" Question

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  • BobHORGOS@aol.com
    In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM, ccaswick@yahoo.com writes:
    Message 1 of 13 , Nov 5, 2001
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      In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM, ccaswick@... writes:

      << I was corresponding with an old friend of my mother's.
      I had mentioned that my mother never living the
      "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an apartment
      prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
      adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That just
      wasn't done -- not even single men." >>

      It would be helpful if you indicated the period of time you are referring to.
      When would your mother have been in the late teens or early 20s?
    • Caye Caswick
      Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in 1945. Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the time and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
      Message 2 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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        Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in 1945.
        Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the time
        and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
        father from Russia. Hope that helps.

        Caye



        --- BobHORGOS@... wrote:
        >
        > In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM,
        > ccaswick@... writes:
        >
        > << I was corresponding with an old friend of my
        > mother's.
        > I had mentioned that my mother never living the
        > "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an
        > apartment
        > prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
        > adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That just
        > wasn't done -- not even single men." >>
        >
        > It would be helpful if you indicated the period of
        > time you are referring to.
        > When would your mother have been in the late teens
        > or early 20s?
        >


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      • nancy hagen
        Caye It may have been having parents from the old country that would have been the basis of her not living in a dorm etc. At that time, many young women were
        Message 3 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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          Caye
          It may have been having parents from the "old country" that would have been
          the basis of her not living in a dorm etc. At that time, many young women
          were away at college, work etc and many others stayed at home.
          My grandmother went away to college (all women's of course) in 1900-1903.
          From reading the rules it was very strict--but they had latin, greek etc
          etc. not easy courses.
          WWII changed many things in this country with women beginning to work
          outside the home more and more because of the war effort. Women decided they
          didn't want to stay at home as much after the men came home. They enjoyed
          the opportunities to work outside the home--
          Hope this is helpful Just some thoughts I had :>))
          Nancy
        • Caye Caswick
          Thanks Nancy, good response, wow, WWII; not all that long ago. Yes, I think because of women going to college in the early 1900 s, I was curious to ask my
          Message 4 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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            Thanks Nancy, good response, wow, WWII; not all that
            long ago. Yes, I think because of women going to
            college in the early 1900's, I was curious to ask my
            question. Funny how you mention "didn't want to stay
            home when the men came home." Now, that's pretty
            funny. Again, thanks.


            Caye


            --- nancy hagen <mckayhagen@...> wrote:
            > Caye
            > It may have been having parents from the "old
            > country" that would have been
            > the basis of her not living in a dorm etc. At that
            > time, many young women
            > were away at college, work etc and many others
            > stayed at home.
            > My grandmother went away to college (all women's of
            > course) in 1900-1903.
            > From reading the rules it was very strict--but they
            > had latin, greek etc
            > etc. not easy courses.
            > WWII changed many things in this country with women
            > beginning to work
            > outside the home more and more because of the war
            > effort. Women decided they
            > didn't want to stay at home as much after the men
            > came home. They enjoyed
            > the opportunities to work outside the home--
            > Hope this is helpful Just some thoughts I had :>))
            > Nancy
            >
            >


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          • cecearcher@juno.com
            Hi Caye, I graduated from high school in 1945 and it was expected that the single children if they didn t go to college would stay at home until married. If
            Message 5 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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              Hi Caye,

              I graduated from high school in 1945 and it was expected that the single
              children if they didn't go to college would stay at home until married.


              If the children did leave home, many stayed in safe boarding houses where
              room and broad was provided , Strict rules were kept. My nephew was so
              surprised at the concept of boarding houses when his father told him of
              his leaving home in 1942.

              My children thought it wasn't cool to live at home after college but some
              did because of the economical factor.

              My mother received a scholarship to college in 1906 but was unable to go
              to college because women at that time were not encouraged to go to
              college.

              WW2 changed many things.

              and now in 2001 we see so many different life styles,


              My grandmother was reluctant to leave Spisska Nova Ves to join her
              husband who fled the Army conscription in 1882 because she didn't want to
              leave her family. Finally she decided she should join her husband in
              Michigan so brought her brothers with her. My dad was born in Spisska
              Nova Ves.
              in1882.

              WE never knew if his father had siblings because of the recriminations
              that his family would suffer if he returned to his home town. So I am
              still searching for GAJAN which is my family name.

              Cecilia
            • jean
              In my family, and I believe in our hometowns (Coal mining villages in SW PA) everyone lived at home until marriage, male and female, even to my generation (I
              Message 6 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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                In my family, and I believe in our hometowns (Coal mining
                villages in SW PA) everyone lived at home until marriage,
                male and female, even to my generation (I graduated high
                school 1955, my brother in '59), unless they went off to
                college, and I can't remember many who did. My grandparents
                were Carpatho-Rusyn from region now in Ukraine. People in
                our "coal-patch town", were mainly Slovak, Hungarian,
                Rusyn.

                jean

                Caye Caswick wrote:
                >
                > Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in 1945.
                > Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the time
                > and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
                > father from Russia. Hope that helps.
                >
                > Caye
                >
                > --- BobHORGOS@... wrote:
                > >
                > > In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM,
                > > ccaswick@... writes:
                > >
                > > << I was corresponding with an old friend of my
                > > mother's.
                > > I had mentioned that my mother never living the
                > > "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an
                > > apartment
                > > prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
                > > adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That just
                > > wasn't done -- not even single men." >>
                > >
                > > It would be helpful if you indicated the period of
                > > time you are referring to.
                > > When would your mother have been in the late teens
                > > or early 20s?
                > >
                >
                > __________________________________________________
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                > Find a job, post your resume.
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                >
                >
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              • Milan Huba
                Back in 1945, good Slovak girls, at least those who lived in villages, stayed at home until they got married. I have never heard of this as crippling
                Message 7 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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                  Back in 1945, good Slovak girls, at least those who lived in villages,
                  stayed at home until they got married. I have never heard of this as
                  crippling experience.


                  ----- Original Message -----
                  From: "Caye Caswick" <ccaswick@...>
                  To: <SLOVAK-ROOTS@yahoogroups.com>
                  Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 9:15 AM
                  Subject: Re: [S-R] "Single" Question


                  >
                  > Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in 1945.
                  > Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the time
                  > and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
                  > father from Russia. Hope that helps.
                  >
                  > Caye
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > --- BobHORGOS@... wrote:
                  > >
                  > > In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM,
                  > > ccaswick@... writes:
                  > >
                  > > << I was corresponding with an old friend of my
                  > > mother's.
                  > > I had mentioned that my mother never living the
                  > > "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an
                  > > apartment
                  > > prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
                  > > adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That just
                  > > wasn't done -- not even single men." >>
                  > >
                  > > It would be helpful if you indicated the period of
                  > > time you are referring to.
                  > > When would your mother have been in the late teens
                  > > or early 20s?
                  > >
                  >
                  >
                  > __________________________________________________
                  > Do You Yahoo!?
                  > Find a job, post your resume.
                  > http://careers.yahoo.com
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                  >
                  >
                • Milan Huba
                  When I responded previously, I was under the impression that we were talking about a woman who was living in Slovakia. I lived in Slovakia after the war and
                  Message 8 of 13 , Nov 6, 2001
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                    When I responded previously, I was under the impression that we were talking
                    about a woman who was living in Slovakia. I lived in Slovakia after the war
                    and base upon my limited experience in a small village, young ladies
                    generally did not leave home until they got married. Of course, here in
                    America everything was and is different.


                    ----- Original Message -----
                    From: "Caye Caswick" <ccaswick@...>
                    To: <SLOVAK-ROOTS@yahoogroups.com>
                    Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 11:36 AM
                    Subject: Re: [S-R] "Single" Question


                    >
                    > Thanks Nancy, good response, wow, WWII; not all that
                    > long ago. Yes, I think because of women going to
                    > college in the early 1900's, I was curious to ask my
                    > question. Funny how you mention "didn't want to stay
                    > home when the men came home." Now, that's pretty
                    > funny. Again, thanks.
                    >
                    >
                    > Caye
                    >
                    >
                    > --- nancy hagen <mckayhagen@...> wrote:
                    > > Caye
                    > > It may have been having parents from the "old
                    > > country" that would have been
                    > > the basis of her not living in a dorm etc. At that
                    > > time, many young women
                    > > were away at college, work etc and many others
                    > > stayed at home.
                    > > My grandmother went away to college (all women's of
                    > > course) in 1900-1903.
                    > > From reading the rules it was very strict--but they
                    > > had latin, greek etc
                    > > etc. not easy courses.
                    > > WWII changed many things in this country with women
                    > > beginning to work
                    > > outside the home more and more because of the war
                    > > effort. Women decided they
                    > > didn't want to stay at home as much after the men
                    > > came home. They enjoyed
                    > > the opportunities to work outside the home--
                    > > Hope this is helpful Just some thoughts I had :>))
                    > > Nancy
                    > >
                    > >
                    >
                    >
                    > __________________________________________________
                    > Do You Yahoo!?
                    > Find a job, post your resume.
                    > http://careers.yahoo.com
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                    >
                    >
                  • Caye Caswick
                    Yes, you graduated the same year as my mother -- and your story sounds exactly like her girlfriend s -- except you were much more willing to give details --
                    Message 9 of 13 , Nov 7, 2001
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                      Yes, you graduated the same year as my mother -- and
                      your story sounds exactly like her girlfriend's --
                      except you were much more willing to give details --
                      excellent description and answer to my questions --
                      thanks so much for sharing. Glad I'm a modern woman
                      -- cause if I had lived even 50 years ago, I'd have
                      been on the front page of the paper for doing every
                      "unexpected" thing possible for my independence. Or
                      been grounded to the attic or apple cellar probably,
                      lol.

                      Caye



                      --- cecearcher@... wrote:
                      > Hi Caye,
                      >
                      > I graduated from high school in 1945 and it was
                      > expected that the single
                      > children if they didn't go to college would stay at
                      > home until married.
                      >
                      >
                      > If the children did leave home, many stayed in safe
                      > boarding houses where
                      > room and broad was provided , Strict rules were
                      > kept. My nephew was so
                      > surprised at the concept of boarding houses when his
                      > father told him of
                      > his leaving home in 1942.
                      >
                      > My children thought it wasn't cool to live at home
                      > after college but some
                      > did because of the economical factor.
                      >
                      > My mother received a scholarship to college in 1906
                      > but was unable to go
                      > to college because women at that time were not
                      > encouraged to go to
                      > college.
                      >
                      > WW2 changed many things.
                      >
                      > and now in 2001 we see so many different life
                      > styles,
                      >
                      >
                      > My grandmother was reluctant to leave Spisska Nova
                      > Ves to join her
                      > husband who fled the Army conscription in 1882
                      > because she didn't want to
                      > leave her family. Finally she decided she should
                      > join her husband in
                      > Michigan so brought her brothers with her. My dad
                      > was born in Spisska
                      > Nova Ves.
                      > in1882.
                      >
                      > WE never knew if his father had siblings because of
                      > the recriminations
                      > that his family would suffer if he returned to his
                      > home town. So I am
                      > still searching for GAJAN which is my family name.
                      >
                      > Cecilia
                      >


                      __________________________________________________
                      Do You Yahoo!?
                      Find a job, post your resume.
                      http://careers.yahoo.com
                    • Caye Caswick
                      Thanks Jean, I guess my mom s friend s it just wasn t done really was the correct response. Glad it s done these days! Caye ...
                      Message 10 of 13 , Nov 7, 2001
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                        Thanks Jean, I guess my mom's friend's "it just wasn't
                        done" really was the correct response. Glad it's
                        "done" these days!

                        Caye


                        --- jean <nandj@...> wrote:
                        > In my family, and I believe in our hometowns (Coal
                        > mining
                        > villages in SW PA) everyone lived at home until
                        > marriage,
                        > male and female, even to my generation (I graduated
                        > high
                        > school 1955, my brother in '59), unless they went
                        > off to
                        > college, and I can't remember many who did. My
                        > grandparents
                        > were Carpatho-Rusyn from region now in Ukraine.
                        > People in
                        > our "coal-patch town", were mainly Slovak,
                        > Hungarian,
                        > Rusyn.
                        >
                        > jean
                        >
                        > Caye Caswick wrote:
                        > >
                        > > Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in
                        > 1945.
                        > > Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the
                        > time
                        > > and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
                        > > father from Russia. Hope that helps.
                        > >
                        > > Caye
                        > >
                        > > --- BobHORGOS@... wrote:
                        > > >
                        > > > In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM,
                        > > > ccaswick@... writes:
                        > > >
                        > > > << I was corresponding with an old friend of my
                        > > > mother's.
                        > > > I had mentioned that my mother never living the
                        > > > "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an
                        > > > apartment
                        > > > prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
                        > > > adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That
                        > just
                        > > > wasn't done -- not even single men." >>
                        > > >
                        > > > It would be helpful if you indicated the period
                        > of
                        > > > time you are referring to.
                        > > > When would your mother have been in the late
                        > teens
                        > > > or early 20s?
                        > > >
                        > >
                        > > __________________________________________________
                        > > Do You Yahoo!?
                        > > Find a job, post your resume.
                        > > http://careers.yahoo.com
                        > >
                        > >
                        > >
                        > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
                        > http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                        >


                        __________________________________________________
                        Do You Yahoo!?
                        Find a job, post your resume.
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                      • Caye Caswick
                        Milan: I didn t intend to infer that living with one s parents until married crippled everyone -- but my mother really never was capable of living even for 5
                        Message 11 of 13 , Nov 7, 2001
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                          Milan:

                          I didn't intend to infer that living with one's
                          parents until married crippled everyone -- but my
                          mother really never was capable of living even for 5
                          minutes on her own -- so that is what I meant by her
                          being crippled by the experience. I remember one time
                          shortly after my father died, she wanted me to come
                          over and change a light bulb and would not take "I'll
                          come Saturday" for an answer, finally I had to explain
                          that changing a light bulb was not "man's work." She
                          reluctantly waited for me on Saturday, but that pretty
                          much is a classic example of what I meant by my
                          mother's crip. I'm sure most women are capable of
                          changing a light bulb. There are 100's of other
                          examples, but I think you get the picture.

                          Caye


                          --- Milan Huba <illy@...> wrote:
                          > Back in 1945, good Slovak girls, at least those who
                          > lived in villages,
                          > stayed at home until they got married. I have never
                          > heard of this as
                          > crippling experience.
                          >
                          >
                          > ----- Original Message -----
                          > From: "Caye Caswick" <ccaswick@...>
                          > To: <SLOVAK-ROOTS@yahoogroups.com>
                          > Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 9:15 AM
                          > Subject: Re: [S-R] "Single" Question
                          >
                          >
                          > >
                          > > Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in
                          > 1945.
                          > > Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the
                          > time
                          > > and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
                          > > father from Russia. Hope that helps.
                          > >
                          > > Caye
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > > --- BobHORGOS@... wrote:
                          > > >
                          > > > In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM,
                          > > > ccaswick@... writes:
                          > > >
                          > > > << I was corresponding with an old friend of my
                          > > > mother's.
                          > > > I had mentioned that my mother never living the
                          > > > "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an
                          > > > apartment
                          > > > prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
                          > > > adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That
                          > just
                          > > > wasn't done -- not even single men." >>
                          > > >
                          > > > It would be helpful if you indicated the period
                          > of
                          > > > time you are referring to.
                          > > > When would your mother have been in the late
                          > teens
                          > > > or early 20s?
                          > > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > > __________________________________________________
                          > > Do You Yahoo!?
                          > > Find a job, post your resume.
                          > > http://careers.yahoo.com
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
                          > http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                          > >
                          > >
                          >
                          >


                          __________________________________________________
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                          Find a job, post your resume.
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                        • Caye Caswick
                          Ah, Thanks Milan, so here in America there were some singles who left and got apartments, dorms, etc.? I d be interested to know how that was viewed by the
                          Message 12 of 13 , Nov 7, 2001
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                            Ah, Thanks Milan, so here in America there were some
                            singles who left and got apartments, dorms, etc.? I'd
                            be interested to know how that was viewed by the rest,
                            according to the explaination I received from mom's
                            friend, it was embarassing to the parents, would you
                            agree?

                            Caye



                            --- Milan Huba <illy@...> wrote:
                            > When I responded previously, I was under the
                            > impression that we were talking
                            > about a woman who was living in Slovakia. I lived
                            > in Slovakia after the war
                            > and base upon my limited experience in a small
                            > village, young ladies
                            > generally did not leave home until they got married.
                            > Of course, here in
                            > America everything was and is different.
                            >
                            >
                            > ----- Original Message -----
                            > From: "Caye Caswick" <ccaswick@...>
                            > To: <SLOVAK-ROOTS@yahoogroups.com>
                            > Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 11:36 AM
                            > Subject: Re: [S-R] "Single" Question
                            >
                            >
                            > >
                            > > Thanks Nancy, good response, wow, WWII; not all
                            > that
                            > > long ago. Yes, I think because of women going to
                            > > college in the early 1900's, I was curious to ask
                            > my
                            > > question. Funny how you mention "didn't want to
                            > stay
                            > > home when the men came home." Now, that's pretty
                            > > funny. Again, thanks.
                            > >
                            > >
                            > > Caye
                            > >
                            > >
                            > > --- nancy hagen <mckayhagen@...> wrote:
                            > > > Caye
                            > > > It may have been having parents from the "old
                            > > > country" that would have been
                            > > > the basis of her not living in a dorm etc. At
                            > that
                            > > > time, many young women
                            > > > were away at college, work etc and many others
                            > > > stayed at home.
                            > > > My grandmother went away to college (all women's
                            > of
                            > > > course) in 1900-1903.
                            > > > From reading the rules it was very strict--but
                            > they
                            > > > had latin, greek etc
                            > > > etc. not easy courses.
                            > > > WWII changed many things in this country with
                            > women
                            > > > beginning to work
                            > > > outside the home more and more because of the
                            > war
                            > > > effort. Women decided they
                            > > > didn't want to stay at home as much after the
                            > men
                            > > > came home. They enjoyed
                            > > > the opportunities to work outside the home--
                            > > > Hope this is helpful Just some thoughts I had
                            > :>))
                            > > > Nancy
                            > > >
                            > > >
                            > >
                            > >
                            > > __________________________________________________
                            > > Do You Yahoo!?
                            > > Find a job, post your resume.
                            > > http://careers.yahoo.com
                            > >
                            > >
                            > >
                            > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
                            > http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                            > >
                            > >
                            >
                            >


                            __________________________________________________
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                            Find a job, post your resume.
                            http://careers.yahoo.com
                          • Milan Huba
                            I understand. Thanks for the clarification..,. ... From: Caye Caswick To: Sent: Wednesday, November 07,
                            Message 13 of 13 , Nov 9, 2001
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                              I understand. Thanks for the clarification..,.
                              ----- Original Message -----
                              From: "Caye Caswick" <ccaswick@...>
                              To: <SLOVAK-ROOTS@yahoogroups.com>
                              Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 9:52 AM
                              Subject: Re: [S-R] "Single" Question


                              >
                              > Milan:
                              >
                              > I didn't intend to infer that living with one's
                              > parents until married crippled everyone -- but my
                              > mother really never was capable of living even for 5
                              > minutes on her own -- so that is what I meant by her
                              > being crippled by the experience. I remember one time
                              > shortly after my father died, she wanted me to come
                              > over and change a light bulb and would not take "I'll
                              > come Saturday" for an answer, finally I had to explain
                              > that changing a light bulb was not "man's work." She
                              > reluctantly waited for me on Saturday, but that pretty
                              > much is a classic example of what I meant by my
                              > mother's crip. I'm sure most women are capable of
                              > changing a light bulb. There are 100's of other
                              > examples, but I think you get the picture.
                              >
                              > Caye
                              >
                              >
                              > --- Milan Huba <illy@...> wrote:
                              > > Back in 1945, good Slovak girls, at least those who
                              > > lived in villages,
                              > > stayed at home until they got married. I have never
                              > > heard of this as
                              > > crippling experience.
                              > >
                              > >
                              > > ----- Original Message -----
                              > > From: "Caye Caswick" <ccaswick@...>
                              > > To: <SLOVAK-ROOTS@yahoogroups.com>
                              > > Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 9:15 AM
                              > > Subject: Re: [S-R] "Single" Question
                              > >
                              > >
                              > > >
                              > > > Sorry, my mother graduated from High School in
                              > > 1945.
                              > > > Her mother would have been about 43-ish at the
                              > > time
                              > > > and her father 52-ish. Mother from Slovakia and
                              > > > father from Russia. Hope that helps.
                              > > >
                              > > > Caye
                              > > >
                              > > >
                              > > >
                              > > > --- BobHORGOS@... wrote:
                              > > > >
                              > > > > In a message dated 11/5/01 2:14:21 PM,
                              > > > > ccaswick@... writes:
                              > > > >
                              > > > > << I was corresponding with an old friend of my
                              > > > > mother's.
                              > > > > I had mentioned that my mother never living the
                              > > > > "single" life (you know, either a dorm or an
                              > > > > apartment
                              > > > > prior to marriage) had kind of "crippled" her
                              > > > > adulthood. My mother's friend replied "That
                              > > just
                              > > > > wasn't done -- not even single men." >>
                              > > > >
                              > > > > It would be helpful if you indicated the period
                              > > of
                              > > > > time you are referring to.
                              > > > > When would your mother have been in the late
                              > > teens
                              > > > > or early 20s?
                              > > > >
                              > > >
                              > > >
                              > > > __________________________________________________
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                              > > >
                              > > >
                              > > >
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                              > > http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
                              > > >
                              > > >
                              > >
                              > >
                              >
                              >
                              > __________________________________________________
                              > Do You Yahoo!?
                              > Find a job, post your resume.
                              > http://careers.yahoo.com
                              >
                              >
                              >
                              >
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                              >
                              >
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