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Re: Frog Prince's Ode - (hopefully) constructive comments

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  • Richard
    Well constructive critisism is one of the reasons we re all on this list isn t it? So I certainly don t mind your speaking up. As a cavaet however, I really
    Message 1 of 12 , Mar 6, 2009
      Well constructive critisism is one of the reasons we're all on this list isn't it? So I certainly don't mind your speaking up. As a cavaet however, I really don't stress myself too much with getting a period sound to my filks seeing as how one of my more requested is I Should Been a Viking with is as non-period sounding as you can get. ;-)

      > > I was sitting, in the garden.
      > > When she came like a ray of light
      > > A beauty clear, so perfect (from "a beauty that's so perfect" - easy substitution)
      > > I lost my heart at the sight. ("My heart leaped at the sight" - a little pun for forshadowing)?

      Now these changes above I do like and think I'll make as an alteration.

      > > She had flowing hair so golden ("Her flowing hair, so golden" Assumes "She had" is rendered "She'd" on a single note of the tune)?
      >
      This one I'm not quite sure about. She Had re two different notes with had slightly higher than She when singing it. However the notes can be shifted a bit moving the higher note to the first part of Flowing and it still works, so I have to contemplate this change a little more.

      > Now it gets tricky. The original is:
      > > The sun paled when you compar'ed
      > > Lips as red as the roses,
      > > Or the velvet that she wear'ed

      Now I'm afraid these changes and the ones that follow I'm not going to make. I thinka you for your time and trouble, but they just don't sound right to my ear or my mind's eye in changing her velvet gown into a cloak and the rhymes come out of my voice sounding even more forced than my own originals when I go singing them, so I beleive I'll be leaving the rest of this verse as I originally had it.

      Driscoll
    • corrie.bergeron
      Heh. A shire newsletter from my early days shows a character looking up at a guitar being flung overhead. He comments, Brendan must be singing Jethro Tull
      Message 2 of 12 , Mar 6, 2009
        Heh. A shire newsletter from my early days shows a character looking up at a guitar being flung overhead. He comments, "Brendan must be singing Jethro Tull again." :-)

        It's your song, milord, sing it as you please. If any of my suggestions were of use, I'm pleased.

        Brendan

        --- In SCA_BARDS@yahoogroups.com, "Richard" <wuuga@...> wrote:
        >
        > Well constructive critisism is one of the reasons we're all on this list isn't it? So I certainly don't mind your speaking up. As a cavaet however, I really don't stress myself too much with getting a period sound to my filks seeing as how one of my more requested is I Should Been a Viking with is as non-period sounding as you can get. ;-)
        >
        > > > I was sitting, in the garden.
        > > > When she came like a ray of light
        > > > A beauty clear, so perfect (from "a beauty that's so perfect" - easy substitution)
        > > > I lost my heart at the sight. ("My heart leaped at the sight" - a little pun for forshadowing)?
        >
        > Now these changes above I do like and think I'll make as an alteration.
        >
        > > > She had flowing hair so golden ("Her flowing hair, so golden" Assumes "She had" is rendered "She'd" on a single note of the tune)?
        > >
        > This one I'm not quite sure about. She Had re two different notes with had slightly higher than She when singing it. However the notes can be shifted a bit moving the higher note to the first part of Flowing and it still works, so I have to contemplate this change a little more.
        >
        > > Now it gets tricky. The original is:
        > > > The sun paled when you compar'ed
        > > > Lips as red as the roses,
        > > > Or the velvet that she wear'ed
        >
        > Now I'm afraid these changes and the ones that follow I'm not going to make. I thinka you for your time and trouble, but they just don't sound right to my ear or my mind's eye in changing her velvet gown into a cloak and the rhymes come out of my voice sounding even more forced than my own originals when I go singing them, so I beleive I'll be leaving the rest of this verse as I originally had it.
        >
        > Driscoll
        >
      • Sharon Vasquez
        I m dieing to hear this, either way. What s the tune? Lady Gillian ________________________________ From: corrie.bergeron To:
        Message 3 of 12 , Mar 7, 2009
          I'm dieing to hear this, either way.  What's the tune?
          Lady Gillian


          From: corrie.bergeron <corrie.bergeron@...>
          To: SCA_BARDS@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Friday, March 6, 2009 11:32:12 PM
          Subject: [SCA_BARDS] Re: Frog Prince's Ode - (hopefully) constructive comments

          Heh. A shire newsletter from my early days shows a character looking up at a guitar being flung overhead. He comments, "Brendan must be singing Jethro Tull again." :-)

          It's your song, milord, sing it as you please. If any of my suggestions were of use, I'm pleased.

          Brendan

          --- In SCA_BARDS@yahoogrou ps.com, "Richard" <wuuga@...> wrote:
          >
          > Well constructive critisism is one of the reasons we're all on this list isn't it? So I certainly don't mind your speaking up. As a cavaet however, I really don't stress myself too much with getting a period sound to my filks seeing as how one of my more requested is I Should Been a Viking with is as non-period sounding as you can get. ;-)
          >
          > > > I was sitting, in the garden.
          > > > When she came like a ray of light
          > > > A beauty clear, so perfect (from "a beauty that's so perfect" - easy substitution)
          > > > I lost my heart at the sight. ("My heart leaped at the sight" - a little pun for forshadowing) ?
          >
          > Now these changes above I do like and think I'll make as an alteration.
          >
          > > > She had flowing hair so golden ("Her flowing hair, so golden" Assumes "She had" is rendered "She'd" on a single note of the tune)?
          > >
          > This one I'm not quite sure about. She Had re two different notes with had slightly higher than She when singing it. However the notes can be shifted a bit moving the higher note to the first part of Flowing and it still works, so I have to contemplate this change a little more.
          >
          > > Now it gets tricky. The original is:
          > > > The sun paled when you compar'ed
          > > > Lips as red as the roses,
          > > > Or the velvet that she wear'ed
          >
          > Now I'm afraid these changes and the ones that follow I'm not going to make. I thinka you for your time and trouble, but they just don't sound right to my ear or my mind's eye in changing her velvet gown into a cloak and the rhymes come out of my voice sounding even more forced than my own originals when I go singing them, so I beleive I'll be leaving the rest of this verse as I originally had it.
          >
          > Driscoll
          >


        • Richard
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9geCS0v7w8 is the tune, or at least the virst part of it is before the music changeup. Driscoll
          Message 4 of 12 , Mar 8, 2009
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9geCS0v7w8 is the tune, or at least the virst part of it is before the music changeup.

            Driscoll

            --- In SCA_BARDS@yahoogroups.com, Sharon Vasquez <vasnut456@...> wrote:
            >
            > I'm dieing to hear this, either way. What's the tune?
            > Lady Gillian
            >
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