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Re: [SCA_BARDS] My latest, for critique

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  • hawkhill@frontiernet.net
    VERY funny! I know some cooks who would love to sing it! I know it s only filk, but maybe Adieu would be better than au revoir at the end? Either way, I
    Message 1 of 7 , Oct 19, 2007
      VERY funny!
      I know some cooks who would love to sing it!

      I know it's only filk, but maybe "Adieu" would be better than "au revoir"
      at the end? Either way, I love it! I'm sure the kitchen staff would
      appreciate it. Thanks for sharing!
      -Brianna

      Quoting Jeff Suzuki <jeff_suzuki@...>:

      > Here's my latest doggerel...to the tune of "Greensleeves." Feel free
      > to critique,
      >
      > Jeffs/William
      > =============================
      > Alas, my lord, you do me wrong
      > To treat this food discourteously
      > For I have labored for so long
      > To bring out this repast to thee.
      >
      > Chorus
      > Green leaves are all my joy
      > Cloves and nutmeg are my delight
      > Saffron is more rare than gold
      > And who can turn down marzipan?
      >
      > I've made thee quince tart and almond rice
      > And braised the venison in port wine
      > The date-stuffed goose would a monk entice
      > In spite of his vows most divine.
      >
      > Chorus
      >
      > You'd rather gulp down a fried up lump
      > Of ground and mixed nameless bits of steer
      > And onions boiled 'til they form a clump.
      > Washed down with the flour grinder's beer.
      >
      > Chorus
      >
      > You'll only eat meat that's bloody red
      > Or fat fried cutlets from birds that cluck.
      > You think that salads are for your head,
      > And won't try lamb, rabbit, or duck.
      >
      > Chorus
      >
      > It's orange cheese or plain white for you
      > Cut nicely down into little cubes
      > Or melted up in a smooth fondue
      > And poured onto cooked pasta tubes.
      >
      > Chorus
      >
      > Lack taste, I bid thee au revoir, farewell
      > God grant some day you will learn to eat
      > Til then, I'll sit in this kitchen hell
      > And feed those who can stand the heat.
      >
      > Chorus
      > =============================
      > http://www.geocities.com/jeff_suzuki/cookslament.htm
      >
      >
    • KaziBrionSCA
      Hi there! It s pretty nice overall and I like the theme! The ending caught ... The song describes all those special-treat foods, such as marzipan and game
      Message 2 of 7 , Oct 19, 2007

        Hi there!  It’s pretty nice overall and I like the theme!  The ending caught my eye, though:

         

        > Til then, I'll sit in this kitchen hell

        > And feed those who can stand the heat.

        The song describes all those special-treat foods, such as marzipan and game meat, strategically avoiding boiled turnips and cabbage, pickled meat and veggies, organ meats, or odd food combinations.  That is all fine and well, since you are trying to paint a picture of good food with which just anyone can identify, even the mac’n’cheese eaters.  The last two lines are at odds with this.

         

        1.  If you enjoy cooking, why is this kitchen a hell?

        2.  If the food is good, why must the diners be able to “stand the heat”?  This is a delectable feast, not Fear Factor.

         

        I like the two lines on their own, but I think they would be better placed in a song describing malfunctioning ovens, misinterpreted recipes and other SCA feast disasters. 

         

        How about

         

        “Till then I’ll keep this kitchen swell

        And feed those who like good food to eat”

         

        ?

         

        Just a suggestion,

         

        Kazi

        Aethelmearc

         

         

        > Here's my latest doggerel...to the tune of "Greensleeves. " Feel free

        > to critique,
        >
        > Jeffs/William
        > ============ ========= ========
        > Alas, my lord, you do me wrong
        > To treat this food discourteously
        > For I have labored for so long
        > To bring out this repast to thee.
        >
        > Chorus
        > Green leaves are all my joy
        > Cloves and nutmeg are my delight
        > Saffron is more rare than gold
        > And who can turn down marzipan?
        >
        > I've made thee quince tart and almond rice
        > And braised the venison in port wine
        > The date-stuffed goose would a monk entice
        > In spite of his vows most divine.
        >
        > Chorus
        >
        > You'd rather gulp down a fried up lump
        > Of ground and mixed nameless bits of steer
        > And onions boiled 'til they form a clump.
        > Washed down with the flour grinder's beer.
        >
        > Chorus
        >
        > You'll only eat meat that's bloody red
        > Or fat fried cutlets from birds that cluck.
        > You think that salads are for your head,
        > And won't try lamb, rabbit, or duck.
        >
        > Chorus
        >
        > It's orange cheese or plain white for you
        > Cut nicely down into little cubes
        > Or melted up in a smooth fondue
        > And poured onto cooked pasta tubes.
        >
        > Chorus
        >
        > Lack taste, I bid thee au revoir, farewell
        > God grant some day you will learn to eat
        > Til then, I'll sit in this kitchen hell
        > And feed those who can stand the heat.
        >
        > Chorus
        > ============ ========= ========
        > http://www.geocitie s.com/jeff_ suzuki/cookslame nt.htm
        >
        >

      • Jeff Suzuki
        ... heat ? ... placed ... and other ... Oddly enough, that s how the song began before it morphed into the present form... My original thought was kitchen
        Message 3 of 7 , Oct 20, 2007
          --- In SCA_BARDS@yahoogroups.com, "KaziBrionSCA" <KaziBrionSCA@...> wrote:
          >

          > 1. If you enjoy cooking, why is this kitchen a hell?
          >
          > 2. If the food is good, why must the diners be able to "stand the
          heat"?
          >..
          > I like the two lines on their own, but I think they would be better
          placed
          > in a song describing malfunctioning ovens, misinterpreted recipes
          and other
          > SCA feast disasters.

          Oddly enough, that's how the song began before it morphed into the
          present form...

          My original thought was "kitchen hell" since it would be just that for
          someone who had to cook bland and uninspiring foods, but I see your
          point. How about:

          Lack Tongue, I bid thee farewell, adieu!
          God grant some day you will learn good taste
          Til then, I'll tend to my pot-au-feu
          And vol-au-vents won't go to waste!

          (which also brings back the "adieu" from the original, and changes
          away from "Lack taste", which sounds too close to "lactase")

          Jeffs/William
        • KaziBrionSCA
          Hi William, I like it. And, I am glad I wasn t imagining things. You know, we have plenty of songs describing feast disasters. It s nice that you came up
          Message 4 of 7 , Oct 21, 2007

            Hi William,

             

            I like it.  And, I am glad I wasn’t imagining things.  You know, we have plenty of songs describing feast disasters.  It’s nice that you came up with a positive-minded ode to foods that some might find “unusual”.

             

            Kazi

             

            P.S. I am biased.  I grew up eating all kinds of stuff, and Brion is a mundane gourmet who keeps me entirely spoiled J

             


            <<Oddly enough, that's how the song began before it morphed into the
            present form...

            My original thought was "kitchen hell" since it would be just that for
            someone who had to cook bland and uninspiring foods, but I see your
            point. How about:

            Lack Tongue, I bid thee farewell, adieu!
            God grant some day you will learn good taste
            Til then, I'll tend to my pot-au-feu
            And vol-au-vents won't go to waste!

            (which also brings back the "adieu" from the original, and changes
            away from "Lack taste", which sounds too close to "lactase")

            Jeffs/William>>

          • Richard
            I liked the song a lot thought it took me a couple of tries until I figured out the right measure to be able to do the last verse. good job!
            Message 5 of 7 , Oct 23, 2007
              I liked the song a lot thought it took me a couple of tries until I
              figured out the right measure to be able to do the last verse. good job!

              --- In SCA_BARDS@yahoogroups.com, "Jeff Suzuki" <jeff_suzuki@...> wrote:
              >
              > Here's my latest doggerel...to the tune of "Greensleeves." Feel free
              > to critique,
              >
              > Jeffs/William
            • Richard
              Well of course the author is the final authority on what he meant or intended for any lines, but how I intrepretted that bit was that working in the kitchen
              Message 6 of 7 , Oct 23, 2007
                Well of course the author is the final authority on what he meant or
                intended for any lines, but how I intrepretted that bit was that
                working in the kitchen for closeminded people who didn't want to try
                anything out of the norm made that particular kitchen a Hell and he
                was going to continue with his scathing reorts to those who refuse to
                broaden their minds about food. And if they can't take it, there's
                KFC...

                --- In SCA_BARDS@yahoogroups.com, "KaziBrionSCA" <KaziBrionSCA@...>
                wrote:
                >
                > Hi there! It's pretty nice overall and I like the theme! The
                ending caught
                > my eye, though:
                >
                >
                >
                > > Til then, I'll sit in this kitchen hell
                > > And feed those who can stand the heat.
                >
                >
                >
                > The song describes all those special-treat foods, such as marzipan
                and game
                > meat, strategically avoiding boiled turnips and cabbage, pickled
                meat and
                > veggies, organ meats, or odd food combinations. That is all fine
                and well,
                > since you are trying to paint a picture of good food with which
                just anyone
                > can identify, even the mac'n'cheese eaters. The last two lines are
                at odds
                > with this.
                >
                >
                >
                > 1. If you enjoy cooking, why is this kitchen a hell?
                >
                > 2. If the food is good, why must the diners be able to "stand the
                heat"?
                > This is a delectable feast, not Fear Factor.
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