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Re: [SCA_BARDS] Untitled Poem, Please critique/help

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  • Susan Gideon
    It s Beautiful, the person for whom this was written is lucky to have someone who expresses themselves in such a way. Baroness Elayne MacDuncan ... From:
    Message 1 of 2 , Jun 17, 2004
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      It's Beautiful, the person for whom this was written is lucky to have someone who expresses themselves in such a way.
       
      Baroness Elayne MacDuncan
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2004 11:36 PM
      Subject: [SCA_BARDS] Untitled Poem, Please critique/help

      I'm trying to convey a message to someone in a poem, please read this
      and tell me how you think it comes across please. If possible, please
      keep it to this list only... ((I have better time expressing myself
      in poetry then in a full out letter these days))



      I may not set your heart afire,
      And I may not cause the seas to part,
      But my heart is true,
      I'd give everything to you.
      I may make you burn with a need,
      And I may be everything you'll ever want,
      But im a simple soul,
      I can only give me to you.
      Whether you want me as friend,
      Or lover so true,
      I will be here,
      Always for you.
      While I say things wrong,
      And sometimes mess up,
      I hope you'll forgive me,
      For I'll always forgive you.
      I know I want to hold you,
      Though you're not so sure,
      Know I'm not pushing,
      Nor rushing things too.
      I hope you can tell,
      From these words in the air,
      Your important to me,
      Know that I care.



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