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FW: The Intelligence of Dilbert-like

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  • Ann Popplestone
    A few culyural observations ... From: Popplestone, Ann [SMTP:Ann.Popplestone@tri-c.cc.oh.us] Sent: Monday, April 19, 1999 5:13 PM To: Ann at Home Subject:
    Message 1 of 2 , Apr 20, 1999
      A few culyural observations

      -----Original Message-----
      From: Popplestone, Ann [SMTP:Ann.Popplestone@...]
      Sent: Monday, April 19, 1999 5:13 PM
      To: 'Ann at Home'
      Subject: FW: The Intelligence of Dilbert-like



      -----Original Message-----
      From: Barefield, Connie


      > Subject: The
      Intelligence of Dilbert-like
      managers...
      > > >>>
      > It is a wonder our economy continues to grow . . .
      > > >>>
      > A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest. They
      were
      looking
      > for people to submit quotes from their real life
      Dilbert-type
      managers.
      > > >>>
      > Here are the finalists.
      > > >>>
      > 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access
      the
      building
      > using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken
      next
      Wednesday
      > and employees will receive their cards in two weeks; (This
      was the
      > winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in
      Redmond, WA.)
      > > >>>
      > 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we
      will
      encounter.
      > (Lykes Lines Shipping)
      > > >>>
      > 3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or
      data. It
      should be
      > used only for company business. (Accounting manager,
      ElectricBoat
      > Company)
      > > >>>
      > 4. This project is so important, we can't let things that
      are more
      > important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing
      manager,
      United
      > Parcel Service)
      > > >>>
      > 5. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
      schedule. No
      one will
      > believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
      working on
      it for
      > months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you
      know
      when it's
      > time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and
      > Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
      > > >>>
      > 6. My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page
      proposal
      that
      > only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her
      was
      damaged and
      > she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was
      write-protected.
      (CIO of
      > Dell Computers)
      > > >>>
      > 7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing
      what I
      say."
      > (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
      > > >>>
      > 8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled
      for
      Monday. When
      > I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to
      miss work
      on the
      > busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change
      her
      burial to
      > friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping
      executive, FTD
      > Florists)
      > > >>>
      > 9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the
      company is
      not going
      > to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor,
      AT&T
      Long Lines
      > Division)
      > > >>>
      > 10. We recently received a memo from senior management
      saying:
      "This is
      > to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding
      the
      subject
      > mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
      > > >>>
      > 11. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to
      him
      concerning
      > a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would
      be soon
      > enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have
      waited
      until
      > tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager Hallmark
      Greeting
      Cards.)
      > > >>>
      > 12. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare
      a memo
      > reviewing our company's training programs and materials.
      In the
      body of
      > the memo one of the sentences I mentioned the "pedagogical
      approach" used
      > by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the
      memo to
      the
      > executive committee, I was called into the HR director's
      office,
      and told
      > that the executive vice president wanted me out of the
      building by
      lunch.
      > When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for
      perverts"
      > (pedophilia?) working in her company. Finally, he showed
      me her
      copy of
      > the memo, with her demand that I be fired-and the word
      "pedagogical"
      > circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and
      once he
      looked
      > the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the
      definition to
      send
      > back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care
      of it.
      Two days
      > later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us
      that no
      words
      > which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper
      could be
      used
      > in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In
      accordance with
      company
      > policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words
      together
      from the
      > Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)
    • Dorothy D. Bruner
      Trivia note--Did you know that the boss in Dilbert was an Anthropology major? DB
      Message 2 of 2 , Apr 21, 1999
        Trivia note--Did you know that the boss in Dilbert was an Anthropology
        major?
        DB
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