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Re: [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!

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  • Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER
    It s great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year after year? Dorothy Davis Anthropology Department UNCG Tel- 256-1099 George Thomas
    Message 1 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
      It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year
      after year?

      Dorothy Davis
      Anthropology Department
      UNCG
      Tel- 256-1099



      George Thomas <broruprecht@...>
      Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
      02/09/2010 12:37 PM
      Please respond to
      SACC-L@yahoogroups.com


      To
      sacc-l@yahoogroups.com
      cc

      Subject
      [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!







      ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
      That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not 'progress,'
      but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at least
      within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
      including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad name,
      and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
      extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals qualifying
      for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
      this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this might
      help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
      G

      Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
      Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
      Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))

      Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
      Lloyd

      On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:

      > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current population of
      the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or biological
      evolution?
      >
      >
      >
      > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
      bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
      >
      >
      >
      > Here is the glorious winner:
      >
      >
      >
      > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
      during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
      did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
      tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
      >
      >
      >
      > And now, the honorable mentions:
      >
      >
      >
      > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
      machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
      insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
      men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
      finger... The chef's claim was approved.
      >
      >
      >
      > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
      during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
      taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
      >
      >
      >
      > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
      found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
      Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
      driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
      ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
      staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
      fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
      >
      >
      >
      > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
      wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
      injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
      he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
      >
      >
      >
      > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
      counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
      man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
      clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
      leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
      the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
      a crime committed?]
      >
      >
      >
      > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
      he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
      booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
      at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
      the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
      Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
      >
      >
      >
      > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
      grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
      was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
      minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
      drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
      to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
      that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
      >
      >
      >
      > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
      Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
      cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
      register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
      said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked
      away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
      >
      >
      >
      > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
      a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived
      at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
      spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
      steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
      sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges
      saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
      >
      >
      >
      > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
      and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
      distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
      distant and hope they remain lost.
      >
      >
      >
      > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
      >
      >
      >

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Andrew Petto
      Easy: Testosterone make people stupid! or, more scientifically, testosterone levels are associated with risky behavior and underestimating the probability and
      Message 2 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
        Easy: Testosterone make people stupid! or, more scientifically,
        testosterone levels are associated with risky behavior and
        underestimating the probability and severity of negative outcomes!

        There is also a peak in serotonin levels in adolescent males that
        declines to "normal" during the 20s. In other mammals, these higher
        levels are associated with risk-taking, displays of prowess, diminished
        judgment, and aggressiveness

        Anj

        Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER wrote:
        >
        > It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year
        > after year?
        >
        > Dorothy Davis
        > Anthropology Department
        > UNCG
        > Tel- 256-1099
        >
        > George Thomas <broruprecht@... <mailto:broruprecht%40yahoo.com>>
        > Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com>
        > 02/09/2010 12:37 PM
        > Please respond to
        > SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com>
        >
        > To
        > sacc-l@yahoogroups.com <mailto:sacc-l%40yahoogroups.com>
        > cc
        >
        > Subject
        > [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
        >
        > ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
        > That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not 'progress,'
        > but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at least
        > within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
        > including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad
        > name,
        > and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
        > extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals
        > qualifying
        > for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
        > this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this might
        > help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
        > G
        >
        > Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
        > Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
        > <mailto:lloyd.miller%40mchsi.com>
        > Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))
        >
        > Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
        > Lloyd
        >
        > On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:
        >
        > > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current
        > population of
        > the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or
        > biological
        > evolution?
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
        > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > Here is the glorious winner:
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
        > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
        > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
        > tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > And now, the honorable mentions:
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
        > machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
        > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
        > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
        > finger... The chef's claim was approved.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
        > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
        > had
        > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
        > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
        > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
        > the
        > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
        > free
        > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
        > the
        > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
        > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
        > head
        > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
        > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
        > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
        > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
        > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
        > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
        > leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
        > the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
        > money, is
        > a crime committed?]
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
        > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
        > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
        > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
        > thief on
        > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
        > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
        > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
        > woman
        > was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
        > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
        > drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
        > to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
        > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
        > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
        > cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
        > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
        > clerk
        > said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked
        > away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
        > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived
        > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
        > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
        > trying to
        > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
        > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
        > charges
        > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
        > and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
        > distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
        > distant and hope they remain lost.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
        > >
        > >
        > >
        >
        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        >
        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        >
        >

        --
        Andrew J Petto, PhD
        Senior Lecturer
        Department of Biological Sciences
        University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
        PO Box 413
        Milwaukee WI 53201-0413
        CapTel: 877.243.2823 (then enter: 414.229.6784)
        fax: 414.229.3926
        ajpetto@...
        https://pantherfile.uwm.edu/ajpetto/www/index.htm
        http://www.uwm.edu/Dept/Biology/Docs/Faculty/ajpetto.html

        *************
        Now Available!!! Scientists Confront Intelligent Design and Creationism.
        https://pantherfile.uwm.edu/ajpetto/www/scc2.htm
        *************


        "There is no word in the language that I revere more than teacher. None. My heart sings when a kid refers to me as his teacher and it always has."

        -- Pat Conroy
        The Prince of Tides
      • Lloyd Miller
        I think Ashley Montagu explained it years ago in his book, The Natural Superiority of Women, but you know, Dorothy, we just don t like to talk about that
        Message 3 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
          I think Ashley Montagu explained it years ago in his book, "The Natural Superiority of Women," but you know, Dorothy, we just don't like to talk about that publicly :).

          Lloyd



          On Feb 9, 2010, at 1:22 PM, Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER wrote:

          > It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year
          > after year?
          >
          > Dorothy Davis
          > Anthropology Department
          > UNCG
          > Tel- 256-1099
          >
          > George Thomas <broruprecht@...>
          > Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
          > 02/09/2010 12:37 PM
          > Please respond to
          > SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
          >
          > To
          > sacc-l@yahoogroups.com
          > cc
          >
          > Subject
          > [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
          >
          > ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
          > That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not 'progress,'
          > but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at least
          > within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
          > including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad name,
          > and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
          > extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals qualifying
          > for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
          > this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this might
          > help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
          > G
          >
          > Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
          > Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
          > Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))
          >
          > Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
          > Lloyd
          >
          > On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:
          >
          > > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current population of
          > the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or biological
          > evolution?
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
          > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > Here is the glorious winner:
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
          > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
          > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
          > tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > And now, the honorable mentions:
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
          > machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
          > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
          > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
          > finger... The chef's claim was approved.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
          > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
          > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
          > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
          > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
          > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
          > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
          > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
          > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
          > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
          > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
          > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
          > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
          > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
          > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
          > leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
          > the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
          > a crime committed?]
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
          > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
          > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
          > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
          > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
          > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
          > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
          > was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
          > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
          > drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
          > to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
          > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
          > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
          > cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
          > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
          > said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked
          > away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
          > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived
          > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
          > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
          > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
          > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges
          > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
          > and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
          > distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
          > distant and hope they remain lost.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
          > >
          > >
          > >
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
          >



          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Lynch, Brian M
          Some times I wonder if all these scenarios actually happened. For example, do a google search on Darwin Award ice fishing dynamite, and read about that
          Message 4 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
            Some times I wonder if all these scenarios actually happened. For
            example, do a google search on "Darwin Award ice fishing dynamite," and
            read about that example. Could someone actually be that.... lacking in
            foresight should I say?

            Brian



            -----Original Message-----
            From: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com [mailto:SACC-L@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf
            Of Lloyd Miller
            Sent: Tuesday, February 09, 2010 2:37 PM
            To: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
            Subject: Re: [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!

            I think Ashley Montagu explained it years ago in his book, "The Natural
            Superiority of Women," but you know, Dorothy, we just don't like to talk
            about that publicly :).

            Lloyd



            On Feb 9, 2010, at 1:22 PM, Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER wrote:

            > It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys
            year
            > after year?
            >
            > Dorothy Davis
            > Anthropology Department
            > UNCG
            > Tel- 256-1099
            >
            > George Thomas <broruprecht@...>
            > Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
            > 02/09/2010 12:37 PM
            > Please respond to
            > SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
            >
            > To
            > sacc-l@yahoogroups.com
            > cc
            >
            > Subject
            > [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
            >
            > ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
            > That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not
            'progress,'
            > but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at
            least
            > within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
            > including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad
            name,
            > and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
            > extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals
            qualifying
            > for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
            > this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this
            might
            > help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
            > G
            >
            > Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
            > Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
            > Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))
            >
            > Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
            > Lloyd
            >
            > On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:
            >
            > > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current
            population of
            > the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or
            biological
            > evolution?
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are

            > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > Here is the glorious winner:
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
            victim
            > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James
            Elliot
            > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
            and
            > tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > And now, the honorable mentions:
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
            cutting
            > machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
            > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
            its
            > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost
            a
            > finger... The chef's claim was approved.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
            > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
            had
            > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
            driver
            > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
            from
            > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
            the
            > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
            free
            > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
            the
            > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
            > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
            head
            > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

            > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
            close
            > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
            > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
            the
            > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the

            > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
            fled,
            > leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
            from
            > the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
            money, is
            > a crime committed?]
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
            that
            > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
            some
            > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
            head
            > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
            thief on
            > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
            of
            > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
            > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
            woman
            > was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
            > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
            and
            > drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
            told
            > to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
            > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

            > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
            demanded
            > cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
            cash
            > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
            clerk
            > said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated,
            walked
            > away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
            on
            > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police
            arrived
            > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
            near
            > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
            trying to
            > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
            > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
            charges
            > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with
            friends
            > and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a

            > distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
            > distant and hope they remain lost.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
            > >
            > >
            > >
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            >
            >



            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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          • Melvin Johnson
            Greetings everyone-it looks that I will not be able to join you in San Francisco unless something really fantastic happens between now and then, you never
            Message 5 of 10 , Feb 11, 2010
              Greetings everyone-it looks that I will not be able to join you in San
              Francisco unless something really fantastic happens between now and then,
              you never know, maybe I'll get a job interview in northern California about
              the same time. Anyway, I have completed 18 job applications (and even got
              one rejection-the HR person was extremely rude, so it's okay). What fun,
              each one of the applications is sort of like an extreme case of
              constipation, sorry for the analogy. I have about 12 more to do before the
              end of February, and I have not even looked in the states of California,
              Texas, Florida, Oregon, and Washington. So I am sure there is something out
              there for me. If any of you are aware of visiting lectureships in your area
              let me know, I personally think teaching in a place for 9-12 months would be
              great and then move on. One does not have to get too involved in academic
              politics which as you know can be very exhausting. Actually, Leatha and I
              would like to travel around North America some more. Anyway, if I do not
              see you have a fun, I know you will and be safe.



              BTW-I am currently reviewing a prospectus for the hotel in Omaha, it looks
              that the meeting will be the week of April 6th. The hotel is the Embassy
              Suites in the Old Market area near the river front, and there is a
              possibility that we will be visiting the Omaha and Winnebago Reservations
              (if I can work out the logistics of that) and have dinner in Elephant Hall
              at the Nebraska State Museum on our last night. I am hoping to keep the
              registration fee the same (no increase) and I have a line on book company,
              two keynote speakers, and possibly an appropriate souvenir (sorry-it won't
              be offensive). I am trying to get as much done as possible this spring as
              we will be moving (hopefully).



              Take care,

              Melvin A. Johnson



              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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