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RE: [SACC-L] FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!

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  • Gilliland, Mary
    I m downloading to my class website to share right now! Today! Hilarious... Mary Kay [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    Message 1 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
      I'm downloading to my class website to share right now! Today! Hilarious...

      Mary Kay


      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER
      It s great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year after year? Dorothy Davis Anthropology Department UNCG Tel- 256-1099 George Thomas
      Message 2 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
        It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year
        after year?

        Dorothy Davis
        Anthropology Department
        UNCG
        Tel- 256-1099



        George Thomas <broruprecht@...>
        Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
        02/09/2010 12:37 PM
        Please respond to
        SACC-L@yahoogroups.com


        To
        sacc-l@yahoogroups.com
        cc

        Subject
        [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!







        ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
        That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not 'progress,'
        but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at least
        within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
        including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad name,
        and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
        extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals qualifying
        for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
        this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this might
        help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
        G

        Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
        Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
        Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))

        Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
        Lloyd

        On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:

        > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current population of
        the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or biological
        evolution?
        >
        >
        >
        > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
        bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
        >
        >
        >
        > Here is the glorious winner:
        >
        >
        >
        > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
        during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
        did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
        tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
        >
        >
        >
        > And now, the honorable mentions:
        >
        >
        >
        > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
        machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
        insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
        men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
        finger... The chef's claim was approved.
        >
        >
        >
        > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
        during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
        taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
        >
        >
        >
        > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
        found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
        Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
        driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
        ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
        staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
        fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
        >
        >
        >
        > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
        wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
        injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
        he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
        >
        >
        >
        > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
        counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
        man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
        clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
        leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
        the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
        a crime committed?]
        >
        >
        >
        > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
        he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
        booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
        at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
        the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
        Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
        >
        >
        >
        > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
        grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
        was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
        minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
        drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
        to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
        that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
        >
        >
        >
        > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
        Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
        cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
        register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
        said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked
        away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
        >
        >
        >
        > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
        a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived
        at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
        spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
        steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
        sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges
        saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
        >
        >
        >
        > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
        and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
        distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
        distant and hope they remain lost.
        >
        >
        >
        > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
        >
        >
        >

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Andrew Petto
        Easy: Testosterone make people stupid! or, more scientifically, testosterone levels are associated with risky behavior and underestimating the probability and
        Message 3 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
          Easy: Testosterone make people stupid! or, more scientifically,
          testosterone levels are associated with risky behavior and
          underestimating the probability and severity of negative outcomes!

          There is also a peak in serotonin levels in adolescent males that
          declines to "normal" during the 20s. In other mammals, these higher
          levels are associated with risk-taking, displays of prowess, diminished
          judgment, and aggressiveness

          Anj

          Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER wrote:
          >
          > It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year
          > after year?
          >
          > Dorothy Davis
          > Anthropology Department
          > UNCG
          > Tel- 256-1099
          >
          > George Thomas <broruprecht@... <mailto:broruprecht%40yahoo.com>>
          > Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com>
          > 02/09/2010 12:37 PM
          > Please respond to
          > SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com>
          >
          > To
          > sacc-l@yahoogroups.com <mailto:sacc-l%40yahoogroups.com>
          > cc
          >
          > Subject
          > [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
          >
          > ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
          > That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not 'progress,'
          > but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at least
          > within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
          > including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad
          > name,
          > and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
          > extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals
          > qualifying
          > for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
          > this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this might
          > help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
          > G
          >
          > Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
          > Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
          > <mailto:lloyd.miller%40mchsi.com>
          > Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))
          >
          > Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
          > Lloyd
          >
          > On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:
          >
          > > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current
          > population of
          > the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or
          > biological
          > evolution?
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
          > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > Here is the glorious winner:
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
          > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
          > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
          > tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > And now, the honorable mentions:
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
          > machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
          > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
          > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
          > finger... The chef's claim was approved.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
          > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
          > had
          > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
          > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
          > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
          > the
          > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
          > free
          > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
          > the
          > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
          > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
          > head
          > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
          > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
          > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
          > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
          > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
          > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
          > leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
          > the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
          > money, is
          > a crime committed?]
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
          > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
          > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
          > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
          > thief on
          > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
          > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
          > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
          > woman
          > was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
          > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
          > drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
          > to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
          > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
          > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
          > cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
          > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
          > clerk
          > said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked
          > away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
          > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived
          > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
          > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
          > trying to
          > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
          > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
          > charges
          > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
          > and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
          > distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
          > distant and hope they remain lost.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
          > >
          > >
          > >
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
          >

          --
          Andrew J Petto, PhD
          Senior Lecturer
          Department of Biological Sciences
          University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
          PO Box 413
          Milwaukee WI 53201-0413
          CapTel: 877.243.2823 (then enter: 414.229.6784)
          fax: 414.229.3926
          ajpetto@...
          https://pantherfile.uwm.edu/ajpetto/www/index.htm
          http://www.uwm.edu/Dept/Biology/Docs/Faculty/ajpetto.html

          *************
          Now Available!!! Scientists Confront Intelligent Design and Creationism.
          https://pantherfile.uwm.edu/ajpetto/www/scc2.htm
          *************


          "There is no word in the language that I revere more than teacher. None. My heart sings when a kid refers to me as his teacher and it always has."

          -- Pat Conroy
          The Prince of Tides
        • Lloyd Miller
          I think Ashley Montagu explained it years ago in his book, The Natural Superiority of Women, but you know, Dorothy, we just don t like to talk about that
          Message 4 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
            I think Ashley Montagu explained it years ago in his book, "The Natural Superiority of Women," but you know, Dorothy, we just don't like to talk about that publicly :).

            Lloyd



            On Feb 9, 2010, at 1:22 PM, Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER wrote:

            > It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys year
            > after year?
            >
            > Dorothy Davis
            > Anthropology Department
            > UNCG
            > Tel- 256-1099
            >
            > George Thomas <broruprecht@...>
            > Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
            > 02/09/2010 12:37 PM
            > Please respond to
            > SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
            >
            > To
            > sacc-l@yahoogroups.com
            > cc
            >
            > Subject
            > [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
            >
            > ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
            > That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not 'progress,'
            > but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at least
            > within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
            > including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad name,
            > and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
            > extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals qualifying
            > for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
            > this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this might
            > help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
            > G
            >
            > Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
            > Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
            > Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))
            >
            > Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
            > Lloyd
            >
            > On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:
            >
            > > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current population of
            > the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or biological
            > evolution?
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
            > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > Here is the glorious winner:
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
            > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
            > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
            > tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > And now, the honorable mentions:
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
            > machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
            > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
            > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
            > finger... The chef's claim was approved.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
            > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
            > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
            > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
            > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
            > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
            > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
            > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
            > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
            > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
            > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
            > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
            > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
            > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
            > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
            > leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
            > the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
            > a crime committed?]
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
            > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
            > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
            > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
            > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
            > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
            > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
            > was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
            > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
            > drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
            > to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
            > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
            > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
            > cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
            > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
            > said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked
            > away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
            > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived
            > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
            > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
            > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
            > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges
            > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
            > and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
            > distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
            > distant and hope they remain lost.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
            > >
            > >
            > >
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            >
            >



            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          • Lynch, Brian M
            Some times I wonder if all these scenarios actually happened. For example, do a google search on Darwin Award ice fishing dynamite, and read about that
            Message 5 of 10 , Feb 9, 2010
              Some times I wonder if all these scenarios actually happened. For
              example, do a google search on "Darwin Award ice fishing dynamite," and
              read about that example. Could someone actually be that.... lacking in
              foresight should I say?

              Brian



              -----Original Message-----
              From: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com [mailto:SACC-L@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf
              Of Lloyd Miller
              Sent: Tuesday, February 09, 2010 2:37 PM
              To: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
              Subject: Re: [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!

              I think Ashley Montagu explained it years ago in his book, "The Natural
              Superiority of Women," but you know, Dorothy, we just don't like to talk
              about that publicly :).

              Lloyd



              On Feb 9, 2010, at 1:22 PM, Dorothy Davis DDBRUNER wrote:

              > It's great for gender studies as well. Why are these lists all guys
              year
              > after year?
              >
              > Dorothy Davis
              > Anthropology Department
              > UNCG
              > Tel- 256-1099
              >
              > George Thomas <broruprecht@...>
              > Sent by: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
              > 02/09/2010 12:37 PM
              > Please respond to
              > SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
              >
              > To
              > sacc-l@yahoogroups.com
              > cc
              >
              > Subject
              > [SACC-L] Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
              >
              > ["They walk among us!!!"] AND, some of them even VOTE!!!
              > That's right. It's perfect for the early lectures. "No, not
              'progress,'
              > but 'process.' It's obviously a process toward dumbing down -- at
              least
              > within the Darwin Awards sample." All kinds of possibilities there,
              > including (1) calling morons "Neanderthals" gives Neanderthals a bad
              name,
              > and (2) class discussion based on conjectures re. whether Neanderthal
              > extinctions involved devastating sequences of many Neanderthals
              qualifying
              > for the Darwin Awards! I can just imagine my classes going ape over
              > this. With the aid of Gary Larson's opposable thumbs gags, all this
              might
              > help hold their attention even as far as kinship charts!
              > G
              >
              > Re: FW: The Darwin Awards - I'm beating you to it!
              > Posted by: "Lloyd Miller" lloyd.miller@...
              > Date: Tue Feb 9, 2010 1:59 am ((PST))
              >
              > Thanks, Mark. These are wonderful! I'm wiping tears...
              > Lloyd
              >
              > On Feb 8, 2010, at 1:49 PM, Lewine, Mark wrote:
              >
              > > I give these to my classes to demonstrate that the current
              population of
              > the USA proves that there is no progress in social, cultural or
              biological
              > evolution?
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are

              > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > Here is the glorious winner:
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
              victim
              > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James
              Elliot
              > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
              and
              > tried the trigger again.. This time it worked.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > And now, the honorable mentions:
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
              cutting
              > machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
              > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
              its
              > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost
              a
              > finger... The chef's claim was approved.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
              > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
              had
              > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
              driver
              > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
              from
              > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
              the
              > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
              free
              > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
              the
              > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
              > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
              head
              > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

              > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
              close
              > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
              > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
              the
              > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the

              > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
              fled,
              > leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
              from
              > the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
              money, is
              > a crime committed?]
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
              that
              > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
              some
              > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
              head
              > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
              thief on
              > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
              of
              > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
              > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
              woman
              > was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
              > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
              and
              > drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
              told
              > to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
              > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

              > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
              demanded
              > cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
              cash
              > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
              clerk
              > said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated,
              walked
              > away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
              on
              > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police
              arrived
              > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
              near
              > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
              trying to
              > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
              > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
              charges
              > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with
              friends
              > and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a

              > distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
              > distant and hope they remain lost.
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
              > >
              > >
              > >
              >
              > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              >
              > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              >
              >



              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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            • Melvin Johnson
              Greetings everyone-it looks that I will not be able to join you in San Francisco unless something really fantastic happens between now and then, you never
              Message 6 of 10 , Feb 11, 2010
                Greetings everyone-it looks that I will not be able to join you in San
                Francisco unless something really fantastic happens between now and then,
                you never know, maybe I'll get a job interview in northern California about
                the same time. Anyway, I have completed 18 job applications (and even got
                one rejection-the HR person was extremely rude, so it's okay). What fun,
                each one of the applications is sort of like an extreme case of
                constipation, sorry for the analogy. I have about 12 more to do before the
                end of February, and I have not even looked in the states of California,
                Texas, Florida, Oregon, and Washington. So I am sure there is something out
                there for me. If any of you are aware of visiting lectureships in your area
                let me know, I personally think teaching in a place for 9-12 months would be
                great and then move on. One does not have to get too involved in academic
                politics which as you know can be very exhausting. Actually, Leatha and I
                would like to travel around North America some more. Anyway, if I do not
                see you have a fun, I know you will and be safe.



                BTW-I am currently reviewing a prospectus for the hotel in Omaha, it looks
                that the meeting will be the week of April 6th. The hotel is the Embassy
                Suites in the Old Market area near the river front, and there is a
                possibility that we will be visiting the Omaha and Winnebago Reservations
                (if I can work out the logistics of that) and have dinner in Elephant Hall
                at the Nebraska State Museum on our last night. I am hoping to keep the
                registration fee the same (no increase) and I have a line on book company,
                two keynote speakers, and possibly an appropriate souvenir (sorry-it won't
                be offensive). I am trying to get as much done as possible this spring as
                we will be moving (hopefully).



                Take care,

                Melvin A. Johnson



                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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