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Re: [SACC-L] MY APOLOGIES FOR ANY DELAYED REPLIES

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  • Lloyd Miller
    Oh my gosh, Mel! Whatever you think you re apologizing for, you re forgiven! I think your analogy to the marriage-divorce thing is brilliant. Would you at
    Message 1 of 17 , Jul 16, 2008
    • 0 Attachment
      Oh my gosh, Mel! Whatever you think you're apologizing for, you're
      forgiven! I think your analogy to the marriage-divorce thing is
      brilliant. Would you at all consider preparing this for the next
      issue of SACC Notes? It would make a great article.
      Lloyd


      On Jul 16, 2008, at 12:19 PM, Melvin Johnson wrote:

      > Dear all--my apologies for any delayed replies to your emails. Life
      > is unbelievably
      > hectic. I will be getting not one, not two, but three new offices
      > beginning next
      > week. So you see immediately the complications. I just love
      > university politics. I
      > must summarize for you because, it really is too funny not to share.
      >
      > Beginning in the fall of 2001, Geography and Anthropology
      > departments merged (got
      > married). What follows are the events immediately leading up to and
      > after the
      > splitting (divorce) of the department which just occurred. It
      > sounds so much like
      > what happens to two people to decide that this marriage is not
      > worth the effort.
      >
      > September 2007--The chair of Anthropology and Geography (a
      > geographer) announces his
      > resignation. (I AM UNHAPPY)
      > October 2007--The other geography professors (only tenured types)
      > announce their
      > desire to sever all relations, affiliations, etc. with the
      > anthropology faculty, so
      > begin the process of negotiation for the gathering of all
      > geographers at UNL in a
      > central location, funded by three colleges and grants, governered
      > by three deans
      > (that's funny just in itself), but most important and I quote "no
      > crazy irrational and
      > bigoted anthropologists." (I WANT A DIVORCE)
      > November 2007-January 2008--deans negotiate, chancellor says you
      > will do this, deans
      > then say okay, and begin the process of taking inventory. (THE
      > COURT SAYS OKAY)
      > February 2008--deans negotiate the splitting of personnel (mostly
      > administrative types)
      > and equipment (LAWYERS NEGOTIATE THE SPOILS)
      > March 2008--April 2008--formal announcement that the department is
      > split effective
      > August 15th. Election or rather forcing one of the geographers to
      > become
      > chair of the "faculty" no department here, just faculty. (WE NOW
      > ARE DIVORCED)
      > May 2008--School of Natural Resources extends, somewhat forcefully,
      > an invitation to
      > move to their location on East Campus and bring the classes (most
      > over 150 students)
      > also--we can party. (A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS)
      > June 2008--no thank you to the invitation to move this summer and
      > definitely no thank
      > you to moving the classes (I WANT TO KEEP MY OWN PLACE, I AM NOT
      > COMPLETELY READY FOR
      > A COMMITMENT NOW)
      > Later in June 2008--yes you will move the faculty, adjuncts, and
      > graduate students to
      > East Campus, you can just forget about staying on city campus--are
      > you sure you do not
      > want to move the classes to east campus (YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU
      > PROMISED, ARE YOU
      > SURE YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A COMMITMENT)
      > Later in June 2008--Okay we move to East Campus in two waves--
      > faculty and adjuncts in
      > July, graduate students in August. NO THANK YOU about moving the
      > classes, we will
      > lose enrollment this year and that translates into lost income for
      > the college of arts
      > and science who pays for the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate
      > students moving from city
      > campus to east campus. (OKAY, I WILL MOVE IN, BUT NO MARRIAGE)
      > July 2008--Okay, we are happy that you finally see the benefits of
      > moving the faculty,
      > adjuncts, and graduate students. We can now be one happy family.
      > Now, since you have
      > only promised but not given written confirmation to the class
      > assignments, can we have
      > the adjuncts and GTAs teach other classes or no classes thus
      > relieving and financial
      > strain to the Arts and Science budget. NO WAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE
      > SUGGESTION, BUT
      > ITS FULL OF HOLES AND LOTS OF SHIT (NOW BEGINS THE FUN) (MAYBE I
      > MADE A MISTAKE, THIS
      > NEW RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SCARY, AARGH!!)
      > July 2008 (as of today)--What fun we are moving from spacious
      > quarters to closets in
      > the new facility that the School of Natural Resources occupies
      > which they think is
      > absolutely fabulous (their heads are in the dirt all the time, so
      > what can you say).
      > The facility is a renovated hotel. The faculty gets what were very
      > small bedrooms of
      > the hotel accommodations. The adjuncts, of which I am, get to share
      > (2 of us) what
      > was the bathroom of the hotel accommodations, oh joy. Now for those
      > of us with classes
      > on city campus, we also have two offices on city campus to share
      > for office hours.
      > (SEPARATE BUT EQUAL, HMMM IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK)
      >
      > Well, in the meantime--the day that I found out we were moving, no
      > ifs ands or buts, I
      > was offered a private office at Nebraska Wesleyan University in
      > which to write my
      > dissertation. All I have to do is teach one accounting class during
      > the 13 month
      > period and I get a substantial office, a new computer, paper and
      > ink to write the
      > dissertation. Needless to say, I took the offer. (I BETTER OFF THAN
      > YOU ARE, TEE HEE)
      >
      > Now I have just divided my stuff between NWU, UNL 1 and UNL 2, and
      > home. Needless to
      > say, I am a bit frazzled, and at times confused, just where the
      > HELL is my textbook
      > for the course I am teaching today.
      >
      > Gotta love academe, everyone has such a unique understanding of the
      > world, and
      > consequently a different type or form of logic (I am not sure that
      > is the right word,
      > but the other words that come to mind are not repeatable in a
      > public forum as this.)
      > But my anthropological training allows me to observe, participate,
      > and reflect on this
      > insanity, right!?!?!
      >
      > HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY TIRADE, HAVE A GREAT DAY, AND THANKS FOR
      > LISTENING. ALL IS
      > BETTER, LIFE IS GOOD AND SOON I GO TO MY NICE HOME, MY WONDERFUL
      > WIFE, AND A PEACEFUL
      > LIFE ON THE FARM.
      >
      > Mel Johnson
      > SACC Treasurer at least until 12-09
      >
      > ------- End of Original Message -------
      >
      >
      >



      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Philip Stein
      Mel, What a great story!!! University/college politics--love it. We re in a joint Anthropology and Geography department, but we re a pretty stable
      Message 2 of 17 , Jul 16, 2008
      • 0 Attachment
        Mel,

        What a great story!!! University/college politics--love it. We're in a joint Anthropology and Geography department, but we're a pretty stable department--even with those crazy geographers. Best of luck! Sounds like you'll need it.

        Phil

        Melvin Johnson <majohns@...> wrote:
        Dear all--my apologies for any delayed replies to your emails. Life is unbelievably
        hectic. I will be getting not one, not two, but three new offices beginning next
        week. So you see immediately the complications. I just love university politics. I
        must summarize for you because, it really is too funny not to share.

        Beginning in the fall of 2001, Geography and Anthropology departments merged (got
        married). What follows are the events immediately leading up to and after the
        splitting (divorce) of the department which just occurred. It sounds so much like
        what happens to two people to decide that this marriage is not worth the effort.

        September 2007--The chair of Anthropology and Geography (a geographer) announces his
        resignation. (I AM UNHAPPY)
        October 2007--The other geography professors (only tenured types) announce their
        desire to sever all relations, affiliations, etc. with the anthropology faculty, so
        begin the process of negotiation for the gathering of all geographers at UNL in a
        central location, funded by three colleges and grants, governered by three deans
        (that's funny just in itself), but most important and I quote "no crazy irrational and
        bigoted anthropologists." (I WANT A DIVORCE)
        November 2007-January 2008--deans negotiate, chancellor says you will do this, deans
        then say okay, and begin the process of taking inventory. (THE COURT SAYS OKAY)
        February 2008--deans negotiate the splitting of personnel (mostly administrative types)
        and equipment (LAWYERS NEGOTIATE THE SPOILS)
        March 2008--April 2008--formal announcement that the department is split effective
        August 15th. Election or rather forcing one of the geographers to become
        chair of the "faculty" no department here, just faculty. (WE NOW ARE DIVORCED)
        May 2008--School of Natural Resources extends, somewhat forcefully, an invitation to
        move to their location on East Campus and bring the classes (most over 150 students)
        also--we can party. (A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS)
        June 2008--no thank you to the invitation to move this summer and definitely no thank
        you to moving the classes (I WANT TO KEEP MY OWN PLACE, I AM NOT COMPLETELY READY FOR
        A COMMITMENT NOW)
        Later in June 2008--yes you will move the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate students to
        East Campus, you can just forget about staying on city campus--are you sure you do not
        want to move the classes to east campus (YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU PROMISED, ARE YOU
        SURE YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A COMMITMENT)
        Later in June 2008--Okay we move to East Campus in two waves--faculty and adjuncts in
        July, graduate students in August. NO THANK YOU about moving the classes, we will
        lose enrollment this year and that translates into lost income for the college of arts
        and science who pays for the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate students moving from city
        campus to east campus. (OKAY, I WILL MOVE IN, BUT NO MARRIAGE)
        July 2008--Okay, we are happy that you finally see the benefits of moving the faculty,
        adjuncts, and graduate students. We can now be one happy family. Now, since you have
        only promised but not given written confirmation to the class assignments, can we have
        the adjuncts and GTAs teach other classes or no classes thus relieving and financial
        strain to the Arts and Science budget. NO WAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION, BUT
        ITS FULL OF HOLES AND LOTS OF SHIT (NOW BEGINS THE FUN) (MAYBE I MADE A MISTAKE, THIS
        NEW RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SCARY, AARGH!!)
        July 2008 (as of today)--What fun we are moving from spacious quarters to closets in
        the new facility that the School of Natural Resources occupies which they think is
        absolutely fabulous (their heads are in the dirt all the time, so what can you say).
        The facility is a renovated hotel. The faculty gets what were very small bedrooms of
        the hotel accommodations. The adjuncts, of which I am, get to share (2 of us) what
        was the bathroom of the hotel accommodations, oh joy. Now for those of us with classes
        on city campus, we also have two offices on city campus to share for office hours.
        (SEPARATE BUT EQUAL, HMMM IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK)

        Well, in the meantime--the day that I found out we were moving, no ifs ands or buts, I
        was offered a private office at Nebraska Wesleyan University in which to write my
        dissertation. All I have to do is teach one accounting class during the 13 month
        period and I get a substantial office, a new computer, paper and ink to write the
        dissertation. Needless to say, I took the offer. (I BETTER OFF THAN YOU ARE, TEE HEE)

        Now I have just divided my stuff between NWU, UNL 1 and UNL 2, and home. Needless to
        say, I am a bit frazzled, and at times confused, just where the HELL is my textbook
        for the course I am teaching today.

        Gotta love academe, everyone has such a unique understanding of the world, and
        consequently a different type or form of logic (I am not sure that is the right word,
        but the other words that come to mind are not repeatable in a public forum as this.)
        But my anthropological training allows me to observe, participate, and reflect on this
        insanity, right!?!?!

        HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY TIRADE, HAVE A GREAT DAY, AND THANKS FOR LISTENING. ALL IS
        BETTER, LIFE IS GOOD AND SOON I GO TO MY NICE HOME, MY WONDERFUL WIFE, AND A PEACEFUL
        LIFE ON THE FARM.

        Mel Johnson
        SACC Treasurer at least until 12-09

        ------- End of Original Message -------






        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Kaupp, Ann
        Mel, I had to read every word even though I have a report to finish. As Lloyd said, your analogy is brilliant. Might make a good SACC Notes article. Make sure
        Message 3 of 17 , Jul 16, 2008
        • 0 Attachment
          Mel, I had to read every word even though I have a report to finish. As
          Lloyd said, your analogy is brilliant. Might make a good SACC Notes
          article. Make sure you have needed texts in each of your three offices
          and we'll all feel better. Now, please, consider getting yourself a
          message. Ann



          ________________________________

          From: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com [mailto:SACC-L@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf
          Of Melvin Johnson
          Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 1:20 PM
          To: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: [SACC-L] MY APOLOGIES FOR ANY DELAYED REPLIES



          Dear all--my apologies for any delayed replies to your emails. Life is
          unbelievably
          hectic. I will be getting not one, not two, but three new offices
          beginning next
          week. So you see immediately the complications. I just love university
          politics. I
          must summarize for you because, it really is too funny not to share.

          Beginning in the fall of 2001, Geography and Anthropology departments
          merged (got
          married). What follows are the events immediately leading up to and
          after the
          splitting (divorce) of the department which just occurred. It sounds so
          much like
          what happens to two people to decide that this marriage is not worth the
          effort.

          September 2007--The chair of Anthropology and Geography (a geographer)
          announces his
          resignation. (I AM UNHAPPY)
          October 2007--The other geography professors (only tenured types)
          announce their
          desire to sever all relations, affiliations, etc. with the anthropology
          faculty, so
          begin the process of negotiation for the gathering of all geographers at
          UNL in a
          central location, funded by three colleges and grants, governered by
          three deans
          (that's funny just in itself), but most important and I quote "no crazy
          irrational and
          bigoted anthropologists." (I WANT A DIVORCE)
          November 2007-January 2008--deans negotiate, chancellor says you will do
          this, deans
          then say okay, and begin the process of taking inventory. (THE COURT
          SAYS OKAY)
          February 2008--deans negotiate the splitting of personnel (mostly
          administrative types)
          and equipment (LAWYERS NEGOTIATE THE SPOILS)
          March 2008--April 2008--formal announcement that the department is split
          effective
          August 15th. Election or rather forcing one of the geographers to become

          chair of the "faculty" no department here, just faculty. (WE NOW ARE
          DIVORCED)
          May 2008--School of Natural Resources extends, somewhat forcefully, an
          invitation to
          move to their location on East Campus and bring the classes (most over
          150 students)
          also--we can party. (A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS)
          June 2008--no thank you to the invitation to move this summer and
          definitely no thank
          you to moving the classes (I WANT TO KEEP MY OWN PLACE, I AM NOT
          COMPLETELY READY FOR
          A COMMITMENT NOW)
          Later in June 2008--yes you will move the faculty, adjuncts, and
          graduate students to
          East Campus, you can just forget about staying on city campus--are you
          sure you do not
          want to move the classes to east campus (YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU
          PROMISED, ARE YOU
          SURE YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A COMMITMENT)
          Later in June 2008--Okay we move to East Campus in two waves--faculty
          and adjuncts in
          July, graduate students in August. NO THANK YOU about moving the
          classes, we will
          lose enrollment this year and that translates into lost income for the
          college of arts
          and science who pays for the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate students
          moving from city
          campus to east campus. (OKAY, I WILL MOVE IN, BUT NO MARRIAGE)
          July 2008--Okay, we are happy that you finally see the benefits of
          moving the faculty,
          adjuncts, and graduate students. We can now be one happy family. Now,
          since you have
          only promised but not given written confirmation to the class
          assignments, can we have
          the adjuncts and GTAs teach other classes or no classes thus relieving
          and financial
          strain to the Arts and Science budget. NO WAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE
          SUGGESTION, BUT
          ITS FULL OF HOLES AND LOTS OF SHIT (NOW BEGINS THE FUN) (MAYBE I MADE A
          MISTAKE, THIS
          NEW RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SCARY, AARGH!!)
          July 2008 (as of today)--What fun we are moving from spacious quarters
          to closets in
          the new facility that the School of Natural Resources occupies which
          they think is
          absolutely fabulous (their heads are in the dirt all the time, so what
          can you say).
          The facility is a renovated hotel. The faculty gets what were very small
          bedrooms of
          the hotel accommodations. The adjuncts, of which I am, get to share (2
          of us) what
          was the bathroom of the hotel accommodations, oh joy. Now for those of
          us with classes
          on city campus, we also have two offices on city campus to share for
          office hours.
          (SEPARATE BUT EQUAL, HMMM IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK)

          Well, in the meantime--the day that I found out we were moving, no ifs
          ands or buts, I
          was offered a private office at Nebraska Wesleyan University in which to
          write my
          dissertation. All I have to do is teach one accounting class during the
          13 month
          period and I get a substantial office, a new computer, paper and ink to
          write the
          dissertation. Needless to say, I took the offer. (I BETTER OFF THAN YOU
          ARE, TEE HEE)

          Now I have just divided my stuff between NWU, UNL 1 and UNL 2, and home.
          Needless to
          say, I am a bit frazzled, and at times confused, just where the HELL is
          my textbook
          for the course I am teaching today.

          Gotta love academe, everyone has such a unique understanding of the
          world, and
          consequently a different type or form of logic (I am not sure that is
          the right word,
          but the other words that come to mind are not repeatable in a public
          forum as this.)
          But my anthropological training allows me to observe, participate, and
          reflect on this
          insanity, right!?!?!

          HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY TIRADE, HAVE A GREAT DAY, AND THANKS FOR LISTENING.
          ALL IS
          BETTER, LIFE IS GOOD AND SOON I GO TO MY NICE HOME, MY WONDERFUL WIFE,
          AND A PEACEFUL
          LIFE ON THE FARM.

          Mel Johnson
          SACC Treasurer at least until 12-09

          ------- End of Original Message -------





          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Gilliland, Mary
          I agree with Ann -- this is an article, Mel, and a very amusing one at that (SACC Notes maybe?) How about a paper for our conference??? Mary Kay Gilliland
          Message 4 of 17 , Jul 16, 2008
          • 0 Attachment
            I agree with Ann -- this is an article, Mel, and a very amusing one at that (SACC Notes maybe?) How about a paper for our conference???



            Mary Kay Gilliland
            Pima Community College, West Campus
            206-6763

            ________________________________

            From: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com on behalf of Kaupp, Ann
            Sent: Wed 7/16/2008 12:10 PM
            To: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com
            Subject: RE: [SACC-L] MY APOLOGIES FOR ANY DELAYED REPLIES



            Mel, I had to read every word even though I have a report to finish. As
            Lloyd said, your analogy is brilliant. Might make a good SACC Notes
            article. Make sure you have needed texts in each of your three offices
            and we'll all feel better. Now, please, consider getting yourself a
            message. Ann

            ________________________________

            From: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com> [mailto:SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf
            Of Melvin Johnson
            Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 1:20 PM
            To: SACC-L@yahoogroups.com <mailto:SACC-L%40yahoogroups.com>
            Subject: [SACC-L] MY APOLOGIES FOR ANY DELAYED REPLIES

            Dear all--my apologies for any delayed replies to your emails. Life is
            unbelievably
            hectic. I will be getting not one, not two, but three new offices
            beginning next
            week. So you see immediately the complications. I just love university
            politics. I
            must summarize for you because, it really is too funny not to share.

            Beginning in the fall of 2001, Geography and Anthropology departments
            merged (got
            married). What follows are the events immediately leading up to and
            after the
            splitting (divorce) of the department which just occurred. It sounds so
            much like
            what happens to two people to decide that this marriage is not worth the
            effort.

            September 2007--The chair of Anthropology and Geography (a geographer)
            announces his
            resignation. (I AM UNHAPPY)
            October 2007--The other geography professors (only tenured types)
            announce their
            desire to sever all relations, affiliations, etc. with the anthropology
            faculty, so
            begin the process of negotiation for the gathering of all geographers at
            UNL in a
            central location, funded by three colleges and grants, governered by
            three deans
            (that's funny just in itself), but most important and I quote "no crazy
            irrational and
            bigoted anthropologists." (I WANT A DIVORCE)
            November 2007-January 2008--deans negotiate, chancellor says you will do
            this, deans
            then say okay, and begin the process of taking inventory. (THE COURT
            SAYS OKAY)
            February 2008--deans negotiate the splitting of personnel (mostly
            administrative types)
            and equipment (LAWYERS NEGOTIATE THE SPOILS)
            March 2008--April 2008--formal announcement that the department is split
            effective
            August 15th. Election or rather forcing one of the geographers to become

            chair of the "faculty" no department here, just faculty. (WE NOW ARE
            DIVORCED)
            May 2008--School of Natural Resources extends, somewhat forcefully, an
            invitation to
            move to their location on East Campus and bring the classes (most over
            150 students)
            also--we can party. (A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS)
            June 2008--no thank you to the invitation to move this summer and
            definitely no thank
            you to moving the classes (I WANT TO KEEP MY OWN PLACE, I AM NOT
            COMPLETELY READY FOR
            A COMMITMENT NOW)
            Later in June 2008--yes you will move the faculty, adjuncts, and
            graduate students to
            East Campus, you can just forget about staying on city campus--are you
            sure you do not
            want to move the classes to east campus (YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU
            PROMISED, ARE YOU
            SURE YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A COMMITMENT)
            Later in June 2008--Okay we move to East Campus in two waves--faculty
            and adjuncts in
            July, graduate students in August. NO THANK YOU about moving the
            classes, we will
            lose enrollment this year and that translates into lost income for the
            college of arts
            and science who pays for the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate students
            moving from city
            campus to east campus. (OKAY, I WILL MOVE IN, BUT NO MARRIAGE)
            July 2008--Okay, we are happy that you finally see the benefits of
            moving the faculty,
            adjuncts, and graduate students. We can now be one happy family. Now,
            since you have
            only promised but not given written confirmation to the class
            assignments, can we have
            the adjuncts and GTAs teach other classes or no classes thus relieving
            and financial
            strain to the Arts and Science budget. NO WAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE
            SUGGESTION, BUT
            ITS FULL OF HOLES AND LOTS OF SHIT (NOW BEGINS THE FUN) (MAYBE I MADE A
            MISTAKE, THIS
            NEW RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SCARY, AARGH!!)
            July 2008 (as of today)--What fun we are moving from spacious quarters
            to closets in
            the new facility that the School of Natural Resources occupies which
            they think is
            absolutely fabulous (their heads are in the dirt all the time, so what
            can you say).
            The facility is a renovated hotel. The faculty gets what were very small
            bedrooms of
            the hotel accommodations. The adjuncts, of which I am, get to share (2
            of us) what
            was the bathroom of the hotel accommodations, oh joy. Now for those of
            us with classes
            on city campus, we also have two offices on city campus to share for
            office hours.
            (SEPARATE BUT EQUAL, HMMM IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK)

            Well, in the meantime--the day that I found out we were moving, no ifs
            ands or buts, I
            was offered a private office at Nebraska Wesleyan University in which to
            write my
            dissertation. All I have to do is teach one accounting class during the
            13 month
            period and I get a substantial office, a new computer, paper and ink to
            write the
            dissertation. Needless to say, I took the offer. (I BETTER OFF THAN YOU
            ARE, TEE HEE)

            Now I have just divided my stuff between NWU, UNL 1 and UNL 2, and home.
            Needless to
            say, I am a bit frazzled, and at times confused, just where the HELL is
            my textbook
            for the course I am teaching today.

            Gotta love academe, everyone has such a unique understanding of the
            world, and
            consequently a different type or form of logic (I am not sure that is
            the right word,
            but the other words that come to mind are not repeatable in a public
            forum as this.)
            But my anthropological training allows me to observe, participate, and
            reflect on this
            insanity, right!?!?!

            HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY TIRADE, HAVE A GREAT DAY, AND THANKS FOR LISTENING.
            ALL IS
            BETTER, LIFE IS GOOD AND SOON I GO TO MY NICE HOME, MY WONDERFUL WIFE,
            AND A PEACEFUL
            LIFE ON THE FARM.

            Mel Johnson
            SACC Treasurer at least until 12-09

            ------- End of Original Message -------

            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          • Chuck Ellenbaum
            Mel Don t worry about delayed replies. It sounds as if you have been going through a hellish meat-grinder. Best of luck in keeping sane under those
            Message 5 of 17 , Jul 16, 2008
            • 0 Attachment
              Mel

              Don't worry about delayed replies. It sounds as if you have been going through a hellish meat-grinder. Best of luck in keeping sane under those circumstances. Your department gives new meaning to the term, "dysfunctional". Your post was brilliant.

              My thoughts and prayers are with you.

              Chuck ><>
              Charles O. Ellenbaum
              707 Shady Avenue
              Geneva, IL 60134
              Cell: 630-404-1261
              <ellenbaumbridge@...>
              "When beholding the beauty of the ocean skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it."
              Herman Melville


              On Wednesday, July 16, 2008, at 12:20PM, "Melvin Johnson" <majohns@...> wrote:
              >Dear all--my apologies for any delayed replies to your emails. Life is unbelievably
              >hectic. I will be getting not one, not two, but three new offices beginning next
              >week. So you see immediately the complications. I just love university politics. I
              >must summarize for you because, it really is too funny not to share.
              >
              >Beginning in the fall of 2001, Geography and Anthropology departments merged (got
              >married). What follows are the events immediately leading up to and after the
              >splitting (divorce) of the department which just occurred. It sounds so much like
              >what happens to two people to decide that this marriage is not worth the effort.
              >
              >September 2007--The chair of Anthropology and Geography (a geographer) announces his
              >resignation. (I AM UNHAPPY)
              >October 2007--The other geography professors (only tenured types) announce their
              >desire to sever all relations, affiliations, etc. with the anthropology faculty, so
              >begin the process of negotiation for the gathering of all geographers at UNL in a
              >central location, funded by three colleges and grants, governered by three deans
              >(that's funny just in itself), but most important and I quote "no crazy irrational and
              >bigoted anthropologists." (I WANT A DIVORCE)
              >November 2007-January 2008--deans negotiate, chancellor says you will do this, deans
              >then say okay, and begin the process of taking inventory. (THE COURT SAYS OKAY)
              >February 2008--deans negotiate the splitting of personnel (mostly administrative types)
              >and equipment (LAWYERS NEGOTIATE THE SPOILS)
              >March 2008--April 2008--formal announcement that the department is split effective
              >August 15th. Election or rather forcing one of the geographers to become
              >chair of the "faculty" no department here, just faculty. (WE NOW ARE DIVORCED)
              >May 2008--School of Natural Resources extends, somewhat forcefully, an invitation to
              >move to their location on East Campus and bring the classes (most over 150 students)
              >also--we can party. (A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS)
              >June 2008--no thank you to the invitation to move this summer and definitely no thank
              >you to moving the classes (I WANT TO KEEP MY OWN PLACE, I AM NOT COMPLETELY READY FOR
              >A COMMITMENT NOW)
              >Later in June 2008--yes you will move the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate students to
              >East Campus, you can just forget about staying on city campus--are you sure you do not
              >want to move the classes to east campus (YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU PROMISED, ARE YOU
              >SURE YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A COMMITMENT)
              >Later in June 2008--Okay we move to East Campus in two waves--faculty and adjuncts in
              >July, graduate students in August. NO THANK YOU about moving the classes, we will
              >lose enrollment this year and that translates into lost income for the college of arts
              >and science who pays for the faculty, adjuncts, and graduate students moving from city
              >campus to east campus. (OKAY, I WILL MOVE IN, BUT NO MARRIAGE)
              >July 2008--Okay, we are happy that you finally see the benefits of moving the faculty,
              >adjuncts, and graduate students. We can now be one happy family. Now, since you have
              >only promised but not given written confirmation to the class assignments, can we have
              >the adjuncts and GTAs teach other classes or no classes thus relieving and financial
              >strain to the Arts and Science budget. NO WAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION, BUT
              >ITS FULL OF HOLES AND LOTS OF SHIT (NOW BEGINS THE FUN) (MAYBE I MADE A MISTAKE, THIS
              >NEW RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SCARY, AARGH!!)
              >July 2008 (as of today)--What fun we are moving from spacious quarters to closets in
              >the new facility that the School of Natural Resources occupies which they think is
              >absolutely fabulous (their heads are in the dirt all the time, so what can you say).
              >The facility is a renovated hotel. The faculty gets what were very small bedrooms of
              >the hotel accommodations. The adjuncts, of which I am, get to share (2 of us) what
              >was the bathroom of the hotel accommodations, oh joy. Now for those of us with classes
              >on city campus, we also have two offices on city campus to share for office hours.
              >(SEPARATE BUT EQUAL, HMMM IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK)
              >
              >Well, in the meantime--the day that I found out we were moving, no ifs ands or buts, I
              >was offered a private office at Nebraska Wesleyan University in which to write my
              >dissertation. All I have to do is teach one accounting class during the 13 month
              >period and I get a substantial office, a new computer, paper and ink to write the
              >dissertation. Needless to say, I took the offer. (I BETTER OFF THAN YOU ARE, TEE HEE)
              >
              >Now I have just divided my stuff between NWU, UNL 1 and UNL 2, and home. Needless to
              >say, I am a bit frazzled, and at times confused, just where the HELL is my textbook
              >for the course I am teaching today.
              >
              >Gotta love academe, everyone has such a unique understanding of the world, and
              >consequently a different type or form of logic (I am not sure that is the right word,
              >but the other words that come to mind are not repeatable in a public forum as this.)
              >But my anthropological training allows me to observe, participate, and reflect on this
              >insanity, right!?!?!
              >
              >HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY TIRADE, HAVE A GREAT DAY, AND THANKS FOR LISTENING. ALL IS
              >BETTER, LIFE IS GOOD AND SOON I GO TO MY NICE HOME, MY WONDERFUL WIFE, AND A PEACEFUL
              >LIFE ON THE FARM.
              >
              >Mel Johnson
              >SACC Treasurer at least until 12-09
              >
              >------- End of Original Message -------
              >
              >
              >
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