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FW:Comment by John Cleese

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  • Popplestone, Ann
    A little cultural/political humor...... Axes of Evil by John Cleese Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the Axis of Evil , Libya, China and Syria
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 31, 2003
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      A little cultural/political humor......

      Axes of Evil
      by John Cleese

      Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
      China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just
      as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
      Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
      Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
      new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are
      just as evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
      Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...
      we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
      being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
      the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President
      Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three counties",
      explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's
      tradition. You can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is
      wickedly cool." International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil
      declaration was swift, as within minutes, peer-conscious nations rushed
      to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical
      chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis
      of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in
      the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
      established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally
      Disagreeable". With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the
      desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
      applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But
      Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and
      Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But
      Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New
      Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to
      Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to
      do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While
      wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun
      of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
      rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Counties Whose Names End in
      'Guay'", accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
      Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
      Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
      privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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