January 4, 2013
Happy New Year to everyone out in RGQ land. We here at RGQ hope to bring to you, in the New Year, interesting and entertaining articles for you perusement and amusement on a regular basis. I can't really say that about everyone who writes here cos I haven't spoken to anyone else but myself, but this is the answer I gave to me after I was interviewed by me about my New Years Resolution (s).
I don't usually make New Years resolutions, at least not seriously. But what with everyone asking what mine are and since conversations about serious subjects seem to be unofficially verboten at work, I decided on one or two subjects to talk about, for the sake of small-talk. My resolution is not one of the usual subjects like I'm going to lose weight, (which I have been doing steadily for the last 11 months, I love my baggy wardrobe) or I am going to exercise more (against my religion and illegal in Grammieworld; it is a misdemeanor but can be upgraded to a felony depending on the severity.) Wait, I take that back, I do like swimming and dancing, both good exercise. But no gym memberships or anything crazy like that. But nearly every news/talk show I watch on my laptop tends to report weight loss as a top resolution. Maybe i should put it on the list though since I'm already losing weight, I can count it as a success. Start off with a win. Staying positive is a good step forward into the New Year.
I want to learn how to fold an origami crane. I have a couple of different methods or patterns if you will but can't seem to make them on my own. I need a teacher. So that is a resolution, finding said teacher. I've heard that once you fold five cranes on your own you will no longer need assistance and will never forget how to do it. I wonder if that last part us really true.
Once I can do that, my next goal is to make 1,000 paper cranes. I saw a program in which some Japanese do this then place the cranes around a special shrine. Most often a WWII memorial was mentioned. I don't think the location is as important as making 1,000 of them. The upshot being that if you do this you will get a wish to come true. I'm sure some people have started out on this goal with a materialistic bent but I learned from the program that spiritual/mental/emotional benefits quite often ensue. I shall leave my cranes at the Friendship Bell on Shelter Island in San Diego, and at the Fishermen's Memorial, also on Shelter Island. My wish? Dunno yet. Lots of paper to fold.
Another resolution for me could be to get my articles I write for RGQ written during the week ahead of deadline, instead of at the last minute before I go to work. Hmm, I guess I've been a caregiver long enough as I drifted off, thinking of writing a program for myself like we do for our clients at work. Weird thought.
My roommate was given a gym membership as a Christmas gift so she IS working out. She doesn't live in Grammieworld so she is safe from prosecution. It appears she's actually using it but we'll see if it lasts. So many people get these gym memberships and use them somewhat at first and fall off the radar after a few months.
Her other resolution is to save money. She wants to save up for a car is a big reason, but also she wants to get in the habit of saving a certain amount each paycheck. She won't always be saving for a car. She is not looking to buy new, so this also has a good chance in succeeding. That is a good habit to get into. If my life weren't already running a budget in the red, I'd do that too.
A couple of other resolutions I've heard are to read more books (never a problem for me) and thinking of the consequences before they speak, from someone whose big mouth is always getting them in trouble. The details there being TMI.
Any variations on this dear readers? Do you make resolutions? How are you at keeping them? What are your resolutions if any? What are the most far out resolutions you have ever made? What are the craziest you've heard?
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
Isn't it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ in your mailbox? Please click the link and direct your contribution to keep RGQ going.Today's Quotes
It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus
The day is for honest men, the night for thieves. - Euripides
Blond Men Jokes - Part 1
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the Friday the 13th."
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
NBC is working with a team of astrophysicists to create a new day of the week.
Canadians still spend so much time discussing what it means to be Canadian.
Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors. all from Dave Foley, Canadian comedian and actor, born on this day in 1963
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Hadda Be There
The Holidays have been busy around my place. With fragmented, extended, and remote families, we were involved for several celebrations.
At the last one, my son and his family were back "home". My daughter and her family planned to be with us when my son was for a complete family gathering. That had a half dozen adults and another half dozen offspring gathered. After dinner and gift exchange, the kids were set free to play.
After a while, my middle granddaughter, Korina, came back to the living room and watched some of the movie the adults were watching. After that, we began hearing doors open & close. Lights began blinking on and off down the hall and in various rooms. The basement door looked more like a revolving door as kids were in & out. Footsteps on the basement stairs were almost constant as one would come upstairs, another would follow, and even another would head back downstairs.
Since nobody was screaming or crying, and there wasn't any smoke or any other indicators of danger, we were complacent to let them wear themselves out and enjoy our movie. That changed after a while.
Imagine, if you will, there are two recliners at the edge of the open living room. I am in the one closest to the basement door and the other one is within a few feet of the television. To my left is another easy chair with a large couch opposite and facing the recliners. A semi-circle is formed by the furniture with an opening between the recliners to access the room. The Christmas tree is beside the entertainment center that houses the television upon which the furniture is focused. There is no wall behind the recliners as it is an open area joining the living room, dining room and kitchen in an open design.
Korina had claimed the recliner closest to the television, and adults filled the other furniture, as well as reclining on the floor. Suddenly, my youngest granddaughter and my older grandson came into the picture, literally, as they stood in front of the television. It seems they had lost track of Korina and couldn't find her. Of course, we got a chuckle from that and sent them out to look some more.
Normally, I would become a little upset to have a good movie interrupted, but, we were visited by 4 of the 5 remaining children from time to time to ask if we had seen Korina. Doors were opening & closing with an increased frequency. Lights were being turned on & off so much it took on the look of a strobe light in a carnival funhouse. Over and over, one or another of the kids would impose themselves between us and the television announcing their dismay in not finding Korina.
Remember where I said Korina was? She was within 3 feet of the TV! Either they stopped at the side of the chair she was in, or they passed it to talk to one of their parents, then passed it again to return to the hunt. Each time, Korina would simple look at us adults. At first it was a look of "Huh? They can't see me?". Each successive visit got her and the adults more tickled. Korina stifled her laughter as the adults were cracking up.
At one instance, one grandson was leaning on the arm of the chair Korina was sitting in as my youngest granddaughter was standing in front of it explaining to her mother that they had looked everywhere. My other grandson stood beside me counting off all the rooms and closets they had searched. Had either had reached out, they could have touched her! Amidst howls of laughter, the adults were able to convince them to start the search over as she may have backtracked.
Our enjoyment of the movie was now impossible. I couldn't see the huge TV screen for tears in my eyes, and my sides were aching from laughing so hard. Each time the kids returned in frustration, the adults were beset with fits of belly-laughs. It started with chuckles. It ended when three of the grandkids were pleading for help and one of them finally realized Korina was the person in the other recliner. Well, it didn't end immediately as we all erupted in more laughs when we saw their surprised faces.
I think the movie ended. I'm not really sure. We all laughed so hard and for so long, we missed the end of the movie. Either that or someone turned off the player. I don't know, and none of us cared. We were incredulous recounting the pleads for assistance. We would look over at Korina and she would simply flash a conspiratorial smile, and we would all start laughing again.
Here's your quiz:
Have you had a moment where something happened where it was SO funny?
Have you had one of those moments that you knew you just had to be there to appreciate it?
Have you tried to relate it to someone else only to get a blank stare?
Hadda Be There - And, I Was!
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn't rate a fancy 'signature pic')BJ's Ponderings
Finding My Roots At A Family Reunion
I concentrate on four branches of my family, the Cassady side, the Parmer side, The Kurtz side and the Geeslin side, these are the four names of my grandparents.
I know a lot about the Parmer side, the Cassady side but little of the Geeslin and Kurtz side. So when invited to the Kurtz family reunion, I joyfully attended. What struck me first was the number of ministers in attendance. I would bet about 30 percent of the men were preachers of one sort. Another was the elder of the Kurtz family, what a sweet man, in his mid 90's yet sharp as a tack. He told me, I looked just like his uncle Charles Edgar Parmer, the Kurtz's and Parmer's were directly related by marriage. I listened to his narration of his grandfather as he wove this story. How the grandfather went from Pennsylvania as a Mennonite to Kansas but changed his religion at his father's request. He started homesteading his land(I saw his sod house) then would ride his horse to the next town and start to build a church. After the church was built and going strong, he would ride to the next town and build another. In all, he built five churches. He died giving his testimony behind the pulpit. I thought Wow! What a way to go. I have travelled to some of these small country churches, got the local church historian and viewed the books where people were baptized by my great-great-great uncle. He must have been a great man. I wonder how many lives did he change? Here I am trying to get a dozen people to church and he probably baptized several hundred people I am humbled by my relative. Did I get my calling from him? I don't know, but a part of me thinks so. I know the Parmer side has the revolutionary and romantic. The Kurtz has the spiritual and farmer side. The Cassady has the artistic side. I have yet to discover the Geeslin side. Wow what a ride.
BJ CassadyKirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."
~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama ~
In keeping with the theme of new year, new beginnings, I have a feel-good story to share with you today. You know how things sometimes happen that restore your faith in the goodness of mankind? This was one of those things.
A couple of days after Christmas, me and my family took off to the Niagara Falls for a few days. We had a fantastic time, there in our 40th floor hotel room with the most stunning view of the Falls. I took the boys to the heated indoor pool each day, we went for walks, and on the Friday night, we had a perfect view of the fireworks from our hotel suite.
We drove home on Sunday evening feeling contented and relaxed. We took a bit of time to bring in the bags and get settled, and then I turned on my laptop and tried to access the Internet. "Tried" being the operative word.
I cannot live without the Internet. OK, I probably could if I really had to, but - well, you know. I wouldn't be very happy about it. The bigger problem, though, is my son George, whose autism makes him resistant to change.
As changes go, sudden loss of the Internet is a pretty big one. Especially for a kid who uses his Internet alphabet games as a calming mechanism when he feels stressed. Which he definitely was, having just returned home after a disruption. It may have been a vacation, and a very nice one, but in George's world, any change represents a disruption.
I called the Internet People and spoke to the Internet Guy. The Internet Guy asked me questions about my modem and which lights were on, and quickly diagnosed that the problem was a faulty power cable. He promised to have a replacement cable sent to me, but said that due to the holidays, it would take about two days to get to me.
I asked the Internet Guy if there was any way to prioritize my request. I told him that I had a child with autism who was feeling very stressed and needed his alphabet games. The Internet Guy said he would do what he could. Naturally, I just assumed that he was paying me lip service. Because aren't companies like that always full of false promises?
I sent a message to Cliff and Mike telling them that the Internet ate my homework, and I would not be able to submit an article. All I can say is, thank God for Smart Phones. At least I wasn't entirely cut off from civilization.
Less than two hours later, as I was digging in the fridge in search of edible food, the doorbell rang. We opened it, and to our utter astonishment, there was one of the Internet People with our replacement power cable.
They had listened to me. They had heard that I had a special needs child who was struggling without his games. They had heard, and they had cared. This man had driven to my house in the snow after hours on a Sunday night, to help a little boy with autism.
There are no words to describe what that means to me. It makes me feel that maybe the world my kids are growing up in isn't such a bad place after all.
Sorry, nothing from Lucille today.
Odds and Ends -
Why men are happier - You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park; you can wear no shirt to a water park; chocolate is just another snack; car mechanics tell you the truth; new shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet; phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat; a five-day vacation requires only one suitcase; you only have to shave your face and neck; you can wear shorts no matter how your legs look; the same hairstyle can last for decades; you have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache; one mood all the time; your last name stays put; you never have to drive to multiple gas station restrooms looking for just the right one; wrinkles add character; you get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness; you can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife; the garage is all yours; and finally, the world is your urinal.
Thanks for your limericks. Try this fill-in -
I once ate a big juicy _______
Hints: Here's a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There's also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
I once met the man, Father Time.....
As the clock began to chime.....
The old year to part.....
The new year to start.....
With many new "ladders" to climb.
I once met the man, Father Time.....
And he spoke of our warming clime.....
"Their thinking is lame.....
When they say man's to blame.....
Their theory just ain't worth a dime."
"Misuse of literally makes me figuratively insane."
(Seen on a T-shirt)Dumb laws in parts of Colorado -
"Cripple Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building."
"Denver: It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor."
"It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep, in Logan County."Reader Comments
You could say my family tree is pretty branchy! My grandparents on my mother's side divorced, from which I have a step uncle. My parents divorced and paired up with other people who already had children so I have half a dozen or so steps on each side, and five siblings, two of whom are cousins by blood who were adopted as young children. I won't count the "Okie" relatives, those who are related by nothing more than familial feelings, or who are related to someone who married into the family but to whom I feel as close as a blood relative, my stepmom included. For many years, any family celebration was held at my dad and stepmom's house, which had room for a large gathering, and which was happily attended by both parents and step parents and whoever else showed up. My dad's folks used to host get togethers that included many relatives who weren't necessarily still related. The hubby and I are the only ones we've ever been married to, but one of our children has had several marriages. We've always had other children than our own around for long periods of time, I always felt that an open house to their friends meant I knew where they were and what they were up to, as a rule (we had a dirt front yard because that's where everyone played) and maybe we were a good influence on them. I can't begin to count the number of times one of the boys dragged home a girlfriend for us to meet, then later broke up with her, but she would still come around at times. I don't know if that means we were pushovers for strangers, they had poor choices in friends, or we helped someone out when they needed it. What can I say, if you don't like having people around, don't have kids. - Ruth
PS--Happy New Year to you and all the other RGQ'ers!
My house plants are far more stable than some relatives' relationships. Almost all of my kids have had more than one, some of the grandkids, too. Same with brothers' families.
As for planning occasions, I don't. THEY do. As in they let me know when they'll be here. We had 3 Christmas dinners this year, for instance, on 3 different days. That's a lot of ham! - Nancy L in Ohio
Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won't get in here from time to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
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