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5526Re: [RI_Ancestors] RI adoption records opened to adoptees 25 & older

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  • Alan Clarke
    Mar 3, 2012
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      I realize there is no simple solution to such a complex situation but
      perhaps a birth mother should be told that a child she put up for
      adoption wants to contact her and let her decide. I'm sure that with the
      passing of time, the situation of birth mothers - such as you have
      described below - have changed and she might welcome meeting her child,
      where she couldn't/wouldn't earlier in life.

      Hey, I'm a guy, but if I found out I had a child I never knew about, I'd
      welcome meeting him or her. I'm also into family history and adding
      another line to the tree is always a good thing. By now, that child
      would be in the 40s or 50s. I would probably be ticked off that I never
      knew, which indicates to me that this really is a complex situation and
      perhaps the best solution is to ask the birth (parent) first. Yes, this
      also applies to fathers. Maybe not so much. Depends on the father.

      On 3/3/12 10:20 AM, Lisa Lepore wrote:
      > Well I know it's a difficult situation, but to me a person should have the
      > right to know
      > who they are. And yes, I think that outweighs the privacy of the birth
      > mother. I don't
      > think all birth mothers want that so called privacy, either. Many of them
      > were young
      > girls with no options and no choices. Social stigma of the times demanded
      > the baby
      > be put up for adoption, whether the birthmother agreed or not.
      > I have a different slant than you because my mother was adopted. So I know
      > what's it
      > like for a person to feel something is missing.
      > My mother was fortunate enough to meet her birth mother, who was in
      > her late
      > 80's at
      > the time. She told my mother not a day went by that she didn't think about
      > her, but she
      > was not able to find out what happened to her.
      > My mother was able to see her original birth record because, like the
      > letter
      > below states
      > she found her birth parents' names through hunting around on her own.
      > This privacy of records didn't seem to occur until the mid 1940's I always
      > wonder what
      > were the circumstances that made this a hot topic then?
      > Lisa
      > From: RI_Ancestors@yahoogroups.com
      > <mailto:RI_Ancestors%40yahoogroups.com>
      > [mailto:RI_Ancestors@yahoogroups.com
      > <mailto:RI_Ancestors%40yahoogroups.com>] On
      > Behalf Of Alan Clarke
      > Sent: Friday, March 02, 2012 1:00 PM
      > To: RI_Ancestors@yahoogroups.com <mailto:RI_Ancestors%40yahoogroups.com>
      > Subject: Re: [RI_Ancestors] RI adoption records opened to adoptees 25 &
      > older
      > On 3/2/12 12:27 PM, Stacie Heyen wrote:
      > > I too agree, my grandmother was adopted in 1926, and died 2008, and even
      > > NOW they are still telling us, they cant open anything until 100 years
      > > after the fact of the adoption, OY! Tho a few years ago, I was sent a
      > > letter saying, "If you can find your grandmothers birth mother and have
      > her
      > > give permission to open the records, we will do so."
      > > I think I see about 5 things wrong with that sentence!
      > > Stacie
      > Indeed.
      > How would you like to be the bureaucrat who published that for all to see?
      > And then... how would you like to be someone who doesn't see the folly
      > of it?
      > But in the name of dialog, have we reached the tipping point where the
      > privacy of the birth mother is superseded by the curiosity of the child
      > to know from whence he or she came? I can see going forth, but what
      > happened to "grandfather rights" and past promises made? Not being
      > adopted, of course, I have no chips on this table. Just curious.

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