5526Re: [RI_Ancestors] RI adoption records opened to adoptees 25 & older
- Mar 3, 2012I realize there is no simple solution to such a complex situation but
perhaps a birth mother should be told that a child she put up for
adoption wants to contact her and let her decide. I'm sure that with the
passing of time, the situation of birth mothers - such as you have
described below - have changed and she might welcome meeting her child,
where she couldn't/wouldn't earlier in life.
Hey, I'm a guy, but if I found out I had a child I never knew about, I'd
welcome meeting him or her. I'm also into family history and adding
another line to the tree is always a good thing. By now, that child
would be in the 40s or 50s. I would probably be ticked off that I never
knew, which indicates to me that this really is a complex situation and
perhaps the best solution is to ask the birth (parent) first. Yes, this
also applies to fathers. Maybe not so much. Depends on the father.
On 3/3/12 10:20 AM, Lisa Lepore wrote:
> Well I know it's a difficult situation, but to me a person should have the
> right to know
> who they are. And yes, I think that outweighs the privacy of the birth
> mother. I don't
> think all birth mothers want that so called privacy, either. Many of them
> were young
> girls with no options and no choices. Social stigma of the times demanded
> the baby
> be put up for adoption, whether the birthmother agreed or not.
> I have a different slant than you because my mother was adopted. So I know
> what's it
> like for a person to feel something is missing.
> My mother was fortunate enough to meet her birth mother, who was in
> her late
> 80's at
> the time. She told my mother not a day went by that she didn't think about
> her, but she
> was not able to find out what happened to her.
> My mother was able to see her original birth record because, like the
> below states
> she found her birth parents' names through hunting around on her own.
> This privacy of records didn't seem to occur until the mid 1940's I always
> wonder what
> were the circumstances that made this a hot topic then?
> From: RI_Ancestors@yahoogroups.com
> <mailto:RI_Ancestors%40yahoogroups.com>] On
> Behalf Of Alan Clarke
> Sent: Friday, March 02, 2012 1:00 PM
> To: RI_Ancestors@yahoogroups.com <mailto:RI_Ancestors%40yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: Re: [RI_Ancestors] RI adoption records opened to adoptees 25 &
> On 3/2/12 12:27 PM, Stacie Heyen wrote:
> > I too agree, my grandmother was adopted in 1926, and died 2008, and even
> > NOW they are still telling us, they cant open anything until 100 years
> > after the fact of the adoption, OY! Tho a few years ago, I was sent a
> > letter saying, "If you can find your grandmothers birth mother and have
> > give permission to open the records, we will do so."
> > I think I see about 5 things wrong with that sentence!
> > Stacie
> How would you like to be the bureaucrat who published that for all to see?
> And then... how would you like to be someone who doesn't see the folly
> of it?
> But in the name of dialog, have we reached the tipping point where the
> privacy of the birth mother is superseded by the curiosity of the child
> to know from whence he or she came? I can see going forth, but what
> happened to "grandfather rights" and past promises made? Not being
> adopted, of course, I have no chips on this table. Just curious.
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