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RE: [Prevent-Connect] RI schools required to teach about dating violence

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  • Rebecca Gummere
    You teach sex ed, you teach `don t do drugs, you teach `don t drink, you should also be teaching `don t be a victim of domestic violence, said Lynch,
    Message 1 of 5 , Oct 6, 2008
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      "You teach sex ed, you teach `don't do drugs,' you teach `don't drink,' you should also be teaching `don't be a victim of domestic violence,'" said Lynch, whose office receives about 5,000 cases a year.

       

      How about “Don’t be a PERPETRATOR of domestic violence!”?

       

      Still, a hopeful sign.

       

      Rebecca

       


      From: Prevent-Connect@yahoogroups.com [mailto: Prevent-Connect@yahoogroups.com ] On Behalf Of David Lee
      Sent: Monday, October 06, 2008 11:00 AM
      To: prevent-connect@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: [Prevent-Connect] RI schools required to teach about dating violence

       

      Here is an article about legislation in Rhode Island requiring teaching about dating violence. he actual law can be found at http://www.rilin. state.ri. us/PublicLaws/ law07/law07490. htm

      http://news. yahoo.com/ s/ap/20081005/ ap_on_re_ us/dating_ violence_ education
       
      RI schools required to teach about dating violence

      By ERIC TUCKER, Associated Press Writer 3 minutes ago
       
      NORTH KINGSTOWN , R.I. - Ann Burke saw signs of trouble with her daughter's boyfriend. He'd incessantly call her at night, keep her from her family, and, ultimately, physically abuse her during a tumultuous relationship that ended with her death three years ago. Burke's 23-year-old daughter, Lindsay, may not have understood the dynamics of an abusive relationship, but her death is helping to ensure that other young people do. A new law in Rhode Island called the Lindsay Ann Burke Act requires all public middle and high schools to teach students about dating violence in their health classes.
       
      The initiative was spearheaded by Burke and her husband, Chris, who say schools should be obligated to teach teens the warning signs of abusive relationships and broach the subject head-on so victims feel empowered to get help and leave violent partners. "If this could happen to her, this could happen to anyone," said Ann Burke, a health teacher who runs a memorial fund to raise money for dating violence workshops for parents and educators.
       
      One other state, Texas , mandates unspecified awareness education on dating violence for students and parents, while several other states encourage it. But the Rhode Island measure goes further by requiring the topic be incorporated annually into the curriculum for students in seventh through 12th grade.
       
      Burke says such education would have allowed her daughter to recognize the danger in her relationship earlier. Though her daughter left her boyfriend several times, she didn't change her phone number or have a plan for safely cutting off contact for good.

       
      She also believed she could be friends with her boyfriend if the romance ended.
       
       
      "I said, `No, he said that to you before, Lindsay. You can't just be friends,'" Burke recalled. Rhode Island Attorney General Patrick Lynch, who shepherded the proposal through the legislature last year, said domestic violence is a disturbingly common crime, yet education about it is scarce and haphazard.
       
      "You teach sex ed, you teach `don't do drugs,' you teach `don't drink,' you should also be teaching `don't be a victim of domestic violence,'" said Lynch, whose office receives about 5,000 cases a year.
       
      School districts are expected to start implementing the law this school year. By December, officials hope to have established a policy for responding to incidents of dating violence.
       
      The law is gaining traction around the country, with members of the National Association of Attorneys General unanimously adopting a resolution encouraging the education in their states. Nebraska 's top prosecutor said he intends to submit legislation modeled after Rhode Island 's law, and apparel maker Liz Claiborne Inc. has helped promote it around the country.
       
      The education focuses as much on nurturing good relationships as avoiding abusive ones. In a recent sophomore health class at South Kingstown High School , teacher Karen Murphy reviewed communication skills for friendships and romantic relationships, including waiting until you're calm before confronting someone with a problem and openly expressing your feelings.
       
      "You've just found out that somebody spread a rumor about you and you approach them at their locker," Murphy told the class. "Are you going to want to start talking to her when you're extremely angry after you've just found out about it?"
       
      "No," the class replied in unison.
       
      Alex Butler, a 15-year-old sophomore, said he didn't think dating violence was a problem at his school but that the education has helped him identify stages of abusive relationships.
       
      "It's nice 'cause then you can warn other people even if you don't know them," he said.
       
      Even if the lessons seem obvious, teachers hope students will recognize that some behaviors they may tolerate in their relationships - obsessive text messaging, for instance, or physical control - are unacceptable and possible precursors to violence.
       
      Ann Burke said Lindsay fell hard for Gerardo Martinez after meeting him at a wedding, and though he seemed respectful and nice, problems emerged after Martinez began exerting control over her daughter.
       
      Ann Burke became so distraught that she couldn't sleep and she sought the advice of counselors. Fearing the worst, she even told Lindsay she couldn't bear to live without her.
      One day in September 2005, after Lindsay had moved in with her brother to get away from Martinez , Burke became concerned when Lindsay didn't answer her phone.
       
      Police found Lindsay in the bathtub of Martinez 's home, her throat slashed. Martinez was convicted last year of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
       
      Burke believes her daughter would have wanted her to teach others about dating violence. "You may have killed her physical body, but I'll be damned: her spirit is still living on in her family and friends," she said. "We're going to do what we need to do."
       
      David S. Lee
      Director or Prevention Services/ Prevention Connection Manager
      California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
      916-446-2520 x 309
      david@calcasa. org
      www.PreventConnect. org
      www.MyStrength. org / www.MiFuerza. org


    • Susan Faupel
      How about focusing on the perp rather than the victim? DON T HURT OTHERS. DON T TOUCH OTHERS WITHOUT PERMISSION. ETC.
      Message 2 of 5 , Oct 7, 2008
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        How about focusing on the perp rather than the victim? DON'T HURT
        OTHERS. DON'T TOUCH OTHERS WITHOUT PERMISSION. ETC.
      • Beth Malchus
        Thanks Rebecca - I like the switch. I think we should be looking at the language that is promoted in the curriculums. Thank you Beth E. Malchus Ohio
        Message 3 of 5 , Oct 7, 2008
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          Thanks Rebecca – I like the switch.  I think we should be looking at the language that is promoted in the curriculums.  Thank you

           

          Beth E. Malchus

          Ohio Department of Health

          Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Prevention Program

          beth.malchus@...

          614-466-8960

           

          Follow the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. 

          Dalai Lama.

           

          From: Prevent-Connect@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Prevent-Connect@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Rebecca Gummere
          Sent: Monday, October 06, 2008 11:51 AM
          To: Prevent-Connect@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: RE: [Prevent-Connect] RI schools required to teach about dating violence

           

          "You teach sex ed, you teach `don't do drugs,' you teach `don't drink,' you should also be teaching `don't be a victim of domestic violence,'" said Lynch, whose office receives about 5,000 cases a year.

           

          How about “Don’t be a PERPETRATOR of domestic violence!”?

           

          Still, a hopeful sign.

           

          Rebecca

           


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        • GTBTMOLLY@aol.com
          In the same vein, we teach kids don t be bullies , so again, DON T be a perpetrator of ABUSE - Molly Molly Schultz, Master Trainer Childhelp - GA office
          Message 4 of 5 , Oct 7, 2008
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            In the same vein, we teach kids "don't be bullies", so again, "DON'T be a perpetrator of ABUSE" -
            Molly




            Molly Schultz, Master Trainer

            Childhelp - GA office

            P.O. Box 1960, Cartersville, GA 30120

            ph: 770-607-9111 or email: mschultz@... or gtbtmolly@...
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