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You have 2 cows, and then??

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  • Lwe
    SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows.
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 1, 2008
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      SOCIALISM
      You have 2 cows.
      You give one to your neighbour.

      COMMUNISM
      You have 2 cows.
      The State takes both and gives you some
      milk.

      FASCISM
      You have 2 cows.
      The State takes both and sells you some
      milk.

      NAZISM
      You have 2 cows.
      The State takes both and shoots you.

      BUREAUCRATISM
      You have 2 cows.
      The State takes both, shoots one, milks
      the other, and then throws the milk away...

      TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
      You have two cows.
      You sell one and buy a bull.
      Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
      You sell them and retire on the income.

      SURREALISM
      You have two giraffes.
      The government requires you to take
      harmonica lessons

      AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You sell one, and force the other to
      produce the milk of four cows.
      Later, you hire a consultant to analyse
      why the cow has dropped dead.

      THE ANDERSEN MODEL
      You have two cows.
      You shred them.

      A FRENCH CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You go on strike, organise a riot, and
      block the roads, because you want three
      cows.

      A JAPANESE CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You redesign them so they are one-tenth
      the size of an ordinary cow and produce
      twenty times the milk.
      You then create a clever cow cartoon
      image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
      worldwide.

      A GERMAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You re-engineer them so they live for
      100 years, eat once a month, and milk
      themselves.

      AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows, but you don't know
      where they are.
      You decide to have lunch.

      A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You count them and learn you have five cows.
      You count them again and learn you have
      42 cows.
      You count them again and learn you have
      2 cows.
      You stop counting cows and open another
      bottle of vodka.

      A SWISS CORPORATION
      You have 5000 cows. None of them belong
      to you.
      You charge the owners for storing them.

      A CHINESE CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You have 300 people milking them.
      You claim that you have full employment,
      and high bovine productivity.
      You arrest the newsman who reported the
      real situation.

      AN INDIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      You worship them.

      A BRITISH CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      Both are mad.

      AN IRAQI CORPORATION
      Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
      You tell them that you have none.
      No-one believes you, so they bomb the
      **** out of you and invade your country.
      You still have no cows, but at least now
      you are part of a Democracy... .

      A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      The one on the left looks very attractive.

      AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      Business seems pretty good.
      You close the office and go for a few
      beers to celebrate.

      INDONESIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows.
      Both are stolen.
      You then sell both.
      You then stash the money to a very
      obscure non-budgetary account.
      You then throw some of the money to
      political parties for campaign funds,
      but you keep most of it for yourself.

      MALAYSIAN COORPORATION
      They have two cows,
      But both of them are stolen from Indonesia.

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