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Re: [Pagan Poets Society] Re: Binding

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  • JUDI GOULD
    I think you should loose all the bind me to s except the first one. Jude Faye Allen wrote: I ll take any type of critique.
    Message 1 of 6 , Feb 10, 2007
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      I think you should loose all the bind me to 's except the first one. Jude

      Faye Allen <Savannah37@...> wrote: I'll take any type of critique. I've hit an unusual point in my life and
      pretty much everything that comes out of my mouth gets written down.

      On 2/7/07, wolfsighs@... <wolfsighs@...> wrote:
      >
      > I will critique poetry. If you don't want critique, post that with the
      > poem. Some people only want to post their stuff without feedback or are
      > searching just for inspirational feedback. I would not want to offer what I
      > think is helpful criticism and have you offended.
      >
      > Let me know, please.
      >
      > Melodie
      >
      > http://www.myspace.com/melodiebolt
      > www.mcbolt.com
      >
      > "The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are
      > small." -- Mary Webb
      > --
      > "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to
      > find it elsewhere."
      > -- Agnes Repplier
      >
      >
      > -----Original Message-----
      > From: Savannah37@... <Savannah37%40gmail.com>
      > To: PaganPoetsSociety@yahoogroups.com<PaganPoetsSociety%40yahoogroups.com>
      > Sent: Tue, 6 Feb 2007 5:58 PM
      > Subject: [Pagan Poets Society] Binding
      >
      > This is my first posting for you all to view:
      >
      > Bind me to the one I choose
      > Bind me to my future love
      > Bind me to a balanced home, with love, peace and unity
      > Bind me to a love so strong that satisfies all my longings
      >
      > Bind me to the one in my dreams, the one who comes to me at night
      > Bind me to the peace of love, the ritual of love, and the closeness
      > love brings to a couple
      >
      > Bind me to a love that's pure, a love of hope and happiness
      > Bind me to a child's pure heart and allow me to love without fear
      >
      > Bind me to a lover that's true at heart and will love me for who I am
      > Bind me to a soul mate one I can share all my secrets with and love
      > unconditionally
      > Bind me to a friend one who adds security to my heart and home
      > Bind me to a love so strong that no one can take away
      >
      > Bind me to a passion that ignites my heart and soul
      > Bind me to a love affair that holds my soul in harmony
      > Bind me to a love, the love I seek within me
      > Bind me to my love the love that awaits me in my world
      > Bind me to him the one I see in my dreams
      > Bind me to his passion so that we may live together forever
      > Bring me my love so that our souls will be complete
      >
      > Yahoo! Groups Links
      >
      > __________________________________________________________
      > Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security
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      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      >
      >
      >

      --
      BB,
      Faye

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






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    • Sasha Walker
      ~ Hiya Faye I m with Jude on this one...all those *Bind me to... s* are just a bit much. I love what you have to say in this poem, though, it has a lot of
      Message 2 of 6 , Feb 12, 2007
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        ~ Hiya Faye

        I'm with Jude on this one...all those *Bind me to...'s* are just a bit much. I love what you have to say in this poem, though, it has a lot of potential. Thank you for sharing it with us, my friend...

        Blessed Be
        Sasha xx
        Shadow Angel






        JUDI GOULD <judealleycat@...> wrote: I think you should loose all the bind me to 's except the first one. Jude

        Faye Allen <Savannah37@...> wrote: I'll take any type of critique. I've hit an unusual point in my life and
        pretty much everything that comes out of my mouth gets written down.

        On 2/7/07, wolfsighs@... <wolfsighs@...> wrote:
        >
        > I will critique poetry. If you don't want critique, post that with the
        > poem. Some people only want to post their stuff without feedback or are
        > searching just for inspirational feedback. I would not want to offer what I
        > think is helpful criticism and have you offended.
        >
        > Let me know, please.
        >
        > Melodie
        >
        > http://www.myspace.com/melodiebolt
        > www.mcbolt.com
        >
        > "The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are
        > small." -- Mary Webb
        > --
        > "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to
        > find it elsewhere."
        > -- Agnes Repplier







        ---------------------------------
        Any questions? Get answers on any topic at Yahoo! Answers. Try it now.

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • wolfsighs@aol.com
        Bind me to the one I choose (7) Bind me to my future love (7) Bind me to a balanced home, with love, peace and unity (14) Bind me to a love so strong
        Message 3 of 6 , Feb 12, 2007
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          Bind me to the one I choose (7)
          Bind me to my future love (7)
          Bind me to a balanced home, with love, peace and unity (14)
          Bind me to a love so strong that satisfies all my longings (15) delete "all" and you'll have fourteen syllables. If you could repeat this pattern it will give the poem a nice flow.

          Bind me to the one in my dreams, the one who comes to me at night
          Bind me to the peace of love, the ritual of love, and the closeness
          love brings to a couple In this section you don't really add anything to poem. You've already asked for a love to satify all your longings. I hope these other needs would be met by that.


          Bind me to a love that's pure, a love of hope and happiness Kinda repeating the same thing here.
          Bind me to a child's pure heart and allow me to love without fear Here I think you talk about binding but banishing might be better? Banishing the negative things (fear and whatever you want to address)

          Bind me to a lover that's true at heart and will love me for who I am
          Bind me to a soul mate one I can share all my secrets with and love
          unconditionally
          Bind me to a friend one who adds security to my heart and home
          Bind me to a love so strong that no one can take away

          Bind me to a passion that ignites my heart and soul
          Bind me to a love affair that holds my soul in harmony
          Bind me to a love, the love I seek within me
          Bind me to my love the love that awaits me in my world
          Bind me to him the one I see in my dreams
          Bind me to his passion so that we may live together forever
          Bring me my love so that our souls will be complete

          I got a little confused because these two stanza are only about that "special other person", but above you talk about yourself, your home, your future. So you have a kinda wide topic at the beginning and then you go back to a very specific focus. I would rethink what the focus is... is it about you, your future, your soul mate or just your soul mate? Just a few thoughts to help you with revision.

          Thank you for sharing.
          Melodie

          http://www.myspace.com/melodiebolt
          www.mcbolt.com

          "The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small." -- Mary Webb
          --
          "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
          -- Agnes Repplier





          -----Original Message-----
          From: Savannah37@...
          To: PaganPoetsSociety@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Tue, 6 Feb 2007 5:58 PM
          Subject: [Pagan Poets Society] Binding


          This is my first posting for you all to view:


          Bind me to the one I choose
          Bind me to my future love
          Bind me to a balanced home, with love, peace and unity
          Bind me to a love so strong that satisfies all my longings

          Bind me to the one in my dreams, the one who comes to me at night
          Bind me to the peace of love, the ritual of love, and the closeness
          love brings to a couple


          Bind me to a love that's pure, a love of hope and happiness
          Bind me to a child's pure heart and allow me to love without fear

          Bind me to a lover that's true at heart and will love me for who I am
          Bind me to a soul mate one I can share all my secrets with and love
          unconditionally
          Bind me to a friend one who adds security to my heart and home
          Bind me to a love so strong that no one can take away

          Bind me to a passion that ignites my heart and soul
          Bind me to a love affair that holds my soul in harmony
          Bind me to a love, the love I seek within me
          Bind me to my love the love that awaits me in my world
          Bind me to him the one I see in my dreams
          Bind me to his passion so that we may live together forever
          Bring me my love so that our souls will be complete






          Yahoo! Groups Links



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