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Comes Fire of Want (Sonnet)

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  • Sasha Walker
    Bright Blessings, Tourbi and gang.... phew, it s been a long year hasn t it? lol I ve been blessed this year with the return of good health, but equally as
    Message 1 of 9 , Dec 14, 2006
      Bright Blessings, Tourbi and gang....

      phew, it's been a long year hasn't it? lol
      I've been blessed this year with the return of good health, but equally as important is the return of my muse. I have read some wonderful poetry here, so I thought I'd post a little something as it's been quite a while since I did. A dear friend of mine gave me a gentle nudge to write another Sonnet, I hadn't written one for a couple of years and had been procrastinating on the form, but I am so glad for that nudge as 2 new Sonnets came of it, with a third one in the works... I hope you all enjoy this one, my friends...

      Blessed Be
      Sasha xx
      Shadow Angel



      Comes Fire of Want


      Within the chill that sparks our flesh to burn
      comes fire of want like none I’ve felt, till you
      your south becomes my point of no return
      I ache to feed the flame that licks me through

      my kiss becomes the ink that paints desire
      of lace you peel me bare to breathe my sin
      your words, I wear as fuel to feed our fire
      each fevered verse spills warm upon my skin

      my tongue doth wake your heart to beat my name
      as we become the storm that lights the sky
      to take you in so deep your words pour flame
      and write their pearled release to silk of thigh

      in writhe of night we place the dawn on pause
      your touch doth beg me melt, and I am yours


      © Sasha ‘06






      ---------------------------------
      Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Jim
      Really nice Sasha. Beautifully crafted imo. I don t care for the word doth very much or sin (maybe breathe me in instead?). But, all in all, you have
      Message 2 of 9 , Dec 15, 2006
        Really nice Sasha. Beautifully crafted imo. I don't care for the word "doth" very much or "sin" (maybe "breathe me in" instead?). But, all in all, you have inspired me to try this form again.

        "my tongue doth wake your heart to beat my name"

        Interesting causality there. Starting from your own tongue and ending with your name by way of his body. Physical and metaphysical at the same time. Very seductive imagery. I'm going to have to invite my girlfriend over right now!

        "and write their pearled release to silk of thigh"

        :)

        Thanks for sending!

        Jim

        Sasha Walker <shadowangels7@...> wrote:

        Bright Blessings, Tourbi and gang....

        phew, it's been a long year hasn't it? lol
        I've been blessed this year with the return of good health, but equally as important is the return of my muse. I have read some wonderful poetry here, so I thought I'd post a little something as it's been quite a while since I did. A dear friend of mine gave me a gentle nudge to write another Sonnet, I hadn't written one for a couple of years and had been procrastinating on the form, but I am so glad for that nudge as 2 new Sonnets came of it, with a third one in the works... I hope you all enjoy this one, my friends...

        Blessed Be
        Sasha xx
        Shadow Angel



        Comes Fire of Want


        Within the chill that sparks our flesh to burn
        comes fire of want like none I’ve felt, till you
        your south becomes my point of no return
        I ache to feed the flame that licks me through

        my kiss becomes the ink that paints desire
        of lace you peel me bare to breathe my sin
        your words, I wear as fuel to feed our fire
        each fevered verse spills warm upon my skin

        my tongue doth wake your heart to beat my name
        as we become the storm that lights the sky
        to take you in so deep your words pour flame
        and write their pearled release to silk of thigh

        in writhe of night we place the dawn on pause
        your touch doth beg me melt, and I am yours


        © Sasha ‘06





        ---------------------------------
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        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





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      • Paul D. Lawrence
        Why the archaic doth ? Does works metrically.
        Message 3 of 9 , Dec 15, 2006
          Why the archaic "doth"? "Does" works metrically.

          --- Sasha Walker <shadowangels7@...> wrote:

          >
          > Bright Blessings, Tourbi and gang....
          >
          > phew, it's been a long year hasn't it? lol
          > I've been blessed this year with the return of good health, but
          > equally as important is the return of my muse. I have read some
          > wonderful poetry here, so I thought I'd post a little something as it's
          > been quite a while since I did. A dear friend of mine gave me a gentle
          > nudge to write another Sonnet, I hadn't written one for a couple of
          > years and had been procrastinating on the form, but I am so glad for
          > that nudge as 2 new Sonnets came of it, with a third one in the works...
          > I hope you all enjoy this one, my friends...
          >
          > Blessed Be
          > Sasha xx
          > Shadow Angel
          >
          >
          >
          > Comes Fire of Want
          >
          >
          > Within the chill that sparks our flesh to burn
          > comes fire of want like none I’ve felt, till you
          > your south becomes my point of no return
          > I ache to feed the flame that licks me through
          >
          > my kiss becomes the ink that paints desire
          > of lace you peel me bare to breathe my sin
          > your words, I wear as fuel to feed our fire
          > each fevered verse spills warm upon my skin
          >
          > my tongue doth wake your heart to beat my name
          > as we become the storm that lights the sky
          > to take you in so deep your words pour flame
          > and write their pearled release to silk of thigh
          >
          > in writhe of night we place the dawn on pause
          > your touch doth beg me melt, and I am yours
          >
          >
          > © Sasha ‘06
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > ---------------------------------
          > Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
          >
        • Sasha
          ... Hiya Paul, thanks for taking the time to comment on this piece, my friend. The use of doth in this one was just a matter of personal preference because I
          Message 4 of 9 , Dec 17, 2006
            "<pauldlawrence@...> wrote:
            >
            > Why the archaic "doth"? "Does" works metrically."


            Hiya Paul,

            thanks for taking the time to comment on this piece, my friend. The
            use of "doth" in this one was just a matter of personal preference
            because I didn't like how "does" looks/sounds/feels in this sonnet,
            but I do appreciate you bringing that to my attention, I am only new
            at this, and ever the student.

            Sasha
          • Sasha
            Hiya Jim, it s a wonderful compliment to me when a reader allows themselves to see and feel something that I have written...so, for that I sincerely thank you.
            Message 5 of 9 , Dec 17, 2006
              Hiya Jim,

              it's a wonderful compliment to me when a reader allows themselves to
              see and feel something that I have written...so, for that I
              sincerely thank you.

              Sasha :)





              --- In PaganPoetsSociety@yahoogroups.com, Jim <odyl900@...> wrote:

              "Really nice Sasha. Beautifully crafted imo. I don't care for the
              word "doth" very much or "sin" (maybe "breathe me in" instead?).
              But, all in all, you have inspired me to try this form again.

              "my tongue doth wake your heart to beat my name"

              Interesting causality there. Starting from your own tongue and
              ending with your name by way of his body. Physical and metaphysical
              at the same time. Very seductive imagery. I'm going to have to
              invite my girlfriend over right now!

              "and write their pearled release to silk of thigh"

              :)

              Thanks for sending!

              Jim"
            • wolfsighs@aol.com
              Does anyone know if doth requires the need to use thee and thou as well? I think why doth sounds so strange and disrupts the flow is there are no other clues
              Message 6 of 9 , Dec 18, 2006
                Does anyone know if doth requires the need to use thee and thou as well? I think why doth sounds so strange and disrupts the flow is there are no other clues for us to know that you're not writing about today's lovers (no mention of quills, bodices and cutlasses for example).

                Today most people don't use doth unless they're RenFest or Amish. At least for me, its been awhile since I've asked someone, "Hast thou brought a condom?" Because there are no scene setting details (which is fine) as a reader, I create my own. But the doth totally crinkles that image because it doesn't go with my penthouse bedroom and black satin sheets.

                Typically, if three people who read your work say there's a problem with something, then there probably is. But this is your work and if you love the doth, keep it.

                Artesia
                www.mcbolt.com
                "The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small." -- Mary Webb
                --
                "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
                -- Agnes Repplier





                -----Original Message-----
                From: shadowangels7@...
                To: PaganPoetsSociety@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: Thu, 14 Dec 2006 1:10 PM
                Subject: [Pagan Poets Society] Comes Fire of Want (Sonnet)



                Bright Blessings, Tourbi and gang....

                phew, it's been a long year hasn't it? lol
                I've been blessed this year with the return of good health, but equally as
                important is the return of my muse. I have read some wonderful poetry here, so I
                thought I'd post a little something as it's been quite a while since I did. A
                dear friend of mine gave me a gentle nudge to write another Sonnet, I hadn't
                written one for a couple of years and had been procrastinating on the form, but
                I am so glad for that nudge as 2 new Sonnets came of it, with a third one in the
                works... I hope you all enjoy this one, my friends...

                Blessed Be
                Sasha xx
                Shadow Angel



                Comes Fire of Want


                Within the chill that sparks our flesh to burn
                comes fire of want like none I’ve felt, till you
                your south becomes my point of no return
                I ache to feed the flame that licks me through

                my kiss becomes the ink that paints desire
                of lace you peel me bare to breathe my sin
                your words, I wear as fuel to feed our fire
                each fevered verse spills warm upon my skin

                my tongue doth wake your heart to beat my name
                as we become the storm that lights the sky
                to take you in so deep your words pour flame
                and write their pearled release to silk of thigh

                in writhe of night we place the dawn on pause
                your touch doth beg me melt, and I am yours


                © Sasha ‘06






                ---------------------------------
                Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.

                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





                Yahoo! Groups Links



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                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • Sasha
                Hiya Artesia, I am one who appreciates sincere and constructive critique, and as you say...if 3 people think it s wrong then it s wrong. I ve taken on board
                Message 7 of 9 , Dec 19, 2006
                  Hiya Artesia,

                  I am one who appreciates sincere and constructive critique, and as
                  you say...if 3 people think it's wrong then it's wrong.

                  I've taken on board the suggestions of those of you whom have
                  responded to this poem...the revised version is below.

                  Blessed Be
                  Sasha xx
                  Shadow Angel


                  Comes Fire of Want


                  Within the chill that sparks our flesh to burn
                  comes fire of want like none I've felt, till you
                  your south becomes my point of no return
                  I ache to feed the flame that licks me through

                  my kiss becomes the ink that paints desire
                  of lace you peel me bare to breathe me in
                  your words, I wear as fuel to feed our fire
                  each fevered verse spills warm upon my skin

                  my tongue awakes your heart to beat my name
                  as we become the storm that lights the sky
                  to take you in so deep your words pour flame
                  and write their pearled release to silk of thigh

                  in writhe of night we place the dawn on pause
                  your touch now begs me melt, and I am yours


                  © Sasha `06
                • wolfsighs@aol.com
                  You are welcome! Your sonnet was and is lovely! Have a wonderful Dark Moon and Solstice! Artesia www.mcbolt.com The well of Providence is deep. It s the
                  Message 8 of 9 , Dec 19, 2006
                    You are welcome! Your sonnet was and is lovely!

                    Have a wonderful Dark Moon and Solstice!

                    Artesia
                    www.mcbolt.com
                    "The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small." -- Mary Webb
                    --
                    "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
                    -- Agnes Repplier





                    -----Original Message-----
                    From: shadowangels7@...
                    To: PaganPoetsSociety@yahoogroups.com
                    Sent: Tue, 19 Dec 2006 2:51 PM
                    Subject: Re: [Pagan Poets Society] Comes Fire of Want (Sonnet)




                    Hiya Artesia,

                    I am one who appreciates sincere and constructive critique, and as
                    you say...if 3 people think it's wrong then it's wrong.

                    I've taken on board the suggestions of those of you whom have
                    responded to this poem...the revised version is below.

                    Blessed Be
                    Sasha xx
                    Shadow Angel


                    Comes Fire of Want


                    Within the chill that sparks our flesh to burn
                    comes fire of want like none I've felt, till you
                    your south becomes my point of no return
                    I ache to feed the flame that licks me through

                    my kiss becomes the ink that paints desire
                    of lace you peel me bare to breathe me in
                    your words, I wear as fuel to feed our fire
                    each fevered verse spills warm upon my skin

                    my tongue awakes your heart to beat my name
                    as we become the storm that lights the sky
                    to take you in so deep your words pour flame
                    and write their pearled release to silk of thigh

                    in writhe of night we place the dawn on pause
                    your touch now begs me melt, and I am yours


                    © Sasha `06









                    Yahoo! Groups Links



                    ________________________________________________________________________
                    Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.


                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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