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Re: [Pagan Poets Society] Running Red feedback welcome

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  • Andrew Bamber
    Interesting. I would offer the following advice though: It needs to be tighter - viciously prune until there are no words left that you can prune without
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 2, 2006
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      Interesting.

      I would offer the following advice though: It needs to be tighter - viciously prune until there are no words left that you can prune without shedding the essential meaning. Focus on the central core of the work, and take care to avoid cliches. Then you will have a masterpiece!





      ----- Original Message ----
      From: lanaia74 <lanaia74@...>
      To: PaganPoetsSociety@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Thursday, 2 November, 2006 11:08:44 AM
      Subject: [Pagan Poets Society] Running Red feedback welcome


      I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but today our dear friend
      was killed
      Even though her profession was selling her bodily wares, this was no
      reason for her to die
      Our friend see paid the ultimate bill
      All I can do is ask myself a thousand whys.

      I think this act was inhuman because she was so young and sweet
      Never intentionally hurting a thing
      The only flaw I knew of, was what she had to do in the streets
      After being thrown away by a family of which she desperately wanted
      to cling.

      No human had the right to pass judgment on her
      Someone snuffing out her young life without a care
      Not asking why she took the path of the cauldron she had to stir
      Not thinking about her feelings,wants, or cares.

      They took her young life no questions asked
      I was told she was stabbed over and over again
      They said by the looks of things, this event was a very heavy task
      What type person would play such a sick game?

      I walk into the kitchen, where you are washing your hands
      Not noticing at first the running water had turned red
      How on earth did you get blood on your hands?
      I think there has been enough done and said.














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