Re: [Pagan Poets Society] Running Red feedback welcome
I would offer the following advice though: It needs to be tighter - viciously prune until there are no words left that you can prune without shedding the essential meaning. Focus on the central core of the work, and take care to avoid cliches. Then you will have a masterpiece!
----- Original Message ----
From: lanaia74 <lanaia74@...>
Sent: Thursday, 2 November, 2006 11:08:44 AM
Subject: [Pagan Poets Society] Running Red feedback welcome
I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but today our dear friend
Even though her profession was selling her bodily wares, this was no
reason for her to die
Our friend see paid the ultimate bill
All I can do is ask myself a thousand whys.
I think this act was inhuman because she was so young and sweet
Never intentionally hurting a thing
The only flaw I knew of, was what she had to do in the streets
After being thrown away by a family of which she desperately wanted
No human had the right to pass judgment on her
Someone snuffing out her young life without a care
Not asking why she took the path of the cauldron she had to stir
Not thinking about her feelings,wants, or cares.
They took her young life no questions asked
I was told she was stabbed over and over again
They said by the looks of things, this event was a very heavy task
What type person would play such a sick game?
I walk into the kitchen, where you are washing your hands
Not noticing at first the running water had turned red
How on earth did you get blood on your hands?
I think there has been enough done and said.
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