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'Thought & Humor' - 2.1.7

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  • ***'Thought & Humor'***
    {Highway Patrol Stops UNC Student} A N.C. highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the crowded freeway. Glancing at the car, the officer was
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 1, 2007
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      {Highway Patrol Stops UNC Student}



      A N.C. highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding
      car on the crowded freeway. Glancing at the car, the
      officer was astounded to see that the UNC student
      behind the wheel was...


      *See what happened:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ****************************************************
      'T & H' IS SO POPULAR TODAY THAT
      THE SITE IS SOMETIMES OVERWHELMED
      BY OUR READERS - SO YOU MAY HAVE
      TO TRY MORE THAN ONCE...
      ****************************************************





      {Help Me Please}



      Please help - I awoke this morning to find myself surrounded
      by "Global Warming"!

      People are throwing it at me and kids are making
      "Global Warming" Men.

      Where's Al Gore when he's needed???

      Professor Howdy


      *See Pictures:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************
      CHECK OUT BLOG "COMMENTS"
      FOR EVEN MORE GREAT HUMOR
      ******************************************



      {Game Warden Stops UNC Grad}



      The Game Warden stopped a UNC grad deer hunter
      and asked to see...


      *See what happened:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************
      TURN UP YOUR VOLUME!!!
      ******************************************



      {Falling & Gravity}



      "Gravity cannot be held responsible for two
      people...



      *The rest of the story:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************




      {Thursday Pop Quiz}



      Choose the word that best completes the
      meaning of the sentence.

      1. The three-year-old was _______ in his refusal
      to taste the broccoli.

      a. recondite
      b. didactic
      c. fortuitous
      d. resolute
      e. genteel



      2. We _______ the fine print in the document but were
      unable to find the clause the lawyer had mentioned.

      a. scrutinized
      b. reconciled
      c. exculpated
      d. cajoled
      e. accrued



      3. A state in which one can see, hear, feel, smell, and
      taste little or nothing is known as _______ deprivation.

      a. aggregate
      b. subversive
      c. sensory
      d. sensual
      e. sensuous



      4. The children tried to be _______ about the fact that
      their parents couldn't afford to give them Christmas
      presents, but you could tell that they were really quite
      depressed inside.

      a. tangential
      b. abysmal
      c. stoic
      d. disingenuous
      e. eclectic



      5. We felt repeatedly _______ by the impersonal and
      inflexible bureaucracy in our attempt to win an exemption
      to the rule.

      a. vindicated
      b. stymied
      c. deluged
      d. reiterated
      e. gesticulated


      *ANSWERS:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************



      {Thursday's Word Quiz}




      Match the words in the left-hand column with
      the correct definition in the right-hand column.


      1. deign ............. A. A strong, offensive smell
      2. malarkey ........ B. An act or instance of depriving
      3. privation ......... C. A humorous person
      4. grabble ........... D. Nonsense or rubbish
      5. fetor ............... E. The interval between two reigns
      6. oblation .......... F. A hermit
      7. interregnum .... G. To scratch or search around with the hands
      8. dreg ............... H. To think worthy
      9. wag ................. I. The act of offering something
      10. eremite .......... J. A small amount


      *ANSWERS:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************



      {Wiping Out A Religion}



      The headline in the January 21 Sunday Telegraph said it all:
      "Burma 'Orders a certain religion to Be Wiped Out.'" The
      story quotes from "a secret document believed to have been
      leaked from a government ministry." The document, titled
      "Program to destroy a religion in Burma," begins with the
      line "there shall be no home where that religion is practiced."

      In furtherance of this goal, the document provides its intended
      audience with "point by point instructions on how to drive
      that religion out of the state." These instructions draw their
      demonic inspiration from the idea that "this religion is very
      gentle" and, thus, its would-be eliminators should "identify
      and utilize its weakness."


      *MORE:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************




      {Something Of Value}



      During a speaking engagement at the University of Illinois,
      I was handed a question scribbled on a note card from a student
      who hesitated to come to the microphone. It read, "The state
      of humankind as we know it is on a serious downward spiral,
      and from my perspective, it's only getting worse. Do you have
      any hope in the future of humankind and specifically our
      generation, and if so, why?"


      *MORE:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************



      {The Great Splitter-Upper}



      When you have three children, only one can be the first,
      of course. And that one becomes the one that all the others
      measure by when it comes to what privileges and what
      treatment they should receive. In our case, our daughter
      is the oldest, followed by her two brothers. Now the kids
      could be getting along perfectly, and then suddenly the boys
      would learn about something their big sister got. Then I would
      hear the march of determined feet to my desk, followed by
      two boys asking in unison, "How come she...?" Followed by
      whatever goody she had gotten that they had not. Actually,
      knowing that kind of question was coming helped me make
      better decisions...


      *MORE:
      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      ******************************************


      Do you need even more humor in your life???

      http://unc-professor.blogspot.com/

      Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
      & Award Winning Humor w/o
      commercial advertisements...

      Updated daily!!!

      Seen in a cafeteria :

      Shoes are required to eat
      in the cafeteria. Socks can
      eat any place they want.

      A shrimp sole my girl; I lobster
      and haven't flounder!

      A note left for a pianist from
      his wife: Gone Chopin, have
      Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.

      *********************

      There is a time for everything,
      a season for every activity
      under heaven. A time to be
      born and a time to die. A
      time to plant and a time to
      harvest. A time to kill and
      a time to heal. A time to
      tear down and a time to
      rebuild. A time to cry and
      a time to laugh. A time to
      grieve and a time to dance.
      A time to scatter stones
      and a time to gather stones.
      A time to embrace and a
      time to turn away....

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      Send messages to your friends...

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      Send funny messages to your online friends

      ***********************

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

      -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)."

      - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

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      Send funny messages to your friends

      [Non-text portions of this message

      Send instant messages to your offline friends

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      Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic
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      Send instant messages to your offline friends

      A musician is hot and tired after the gig, so he pulls
      into the 7-11 to get a cold drink. While he's buying
      his slurpee, he suddenly realizes that he spaced
      out -- the accordion is in the back seat, in full view!

      He rushes out of the store... but it's too late. Someone
      has already broken the car window.......

      ....and left another accordion.

      Send instant messages to your offline friends
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      but may be found on "T & H's Award Winning Blog.]

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      The End

      Send instant messages to your online friends

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      Howdy Salutes Michigan State University, Mississippi State University,
      Montana State University & Morgan State University!!!

      Send instant messages to your online friends

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."

      - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter

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