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***Thought & Humor*** - Dec. 1, 2005 - Please Forward To Your Many Friends - Merry CHRISTmas to Target, Kroger, Office Max, Walgreens, Sears, Staples, Lowe's, J.C. Penney, Dell & Best Buy (they've banned the greeting)

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  • Thought N. Humor
    A UNC prof. goes into a doctor s office. Prof: Doctor, I don t know what s wrong with me. Doctor: Well, tell me your symptoms. TheRestOfTheStory!!!
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 1, 2005
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      A UNC prof. goes into a doctor's office.
      Prof:  Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me.
      Doctor:  Well, tell me your symptoms.

         Updated frequently during the day!!!                                 

      Howdy recently ordered a cup of coffee
      with no cream at a Chapel Hill restaurant.  


      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      A Cause
      All Of Us
      It started out as an unimpressive ripple in the weather off the coast of Africa.
      By the time it was over, it had become Hurricane Katrina, pummeling Florida
      as a category one storm, and then surprising most observers by becoming a
      category five monster over the Gulf of Mexico. Katrina's last minute shift to the
      east nearly destroyed the city of New Orleans. Yes, we saw some of the darkest
      side of human nature as people looted beyond things they might have really
      needed, and some even tried to shoot some of the very people who were coming
      to help. But on a much greater scale, the aftermath to Hurricane Katrina was a
      massive outpouring of heroism in many flavors.

          As Americans learned of the desperation of the victims of the storm, thousands
      mobilized to give them a chance to live. We won't soon forget the military helicopters,
      launching and re-launching every fifteen minutes to look for more people stranded
      in the toxic floodwaters that buried parts of the city. There were those memorable
      scenes of the rescuers coming down the rope from those choppers to save people
      trapped on their roofs. Doctors and nurses came from all over the country. So many
      came and did what they knew how to do - from cooking, to counseling, to contributing,
      to caring enough to take in whole families - because lives were at stake.

            Thousands of lives were saved, many of whom would have died otherwise because
      of a massive rescue operation where everyone did what they knew how to do; each one
      realizing that a rescue effort means all hands on deck.

          It's a picture of the largest scale rescue operation on the planet. It is the rescue mission
      for which Jesus Christ gave His life, to as His personal mission statement in Luke 19:10 says,
      "to seek and to save what was lost." His final command: "Go into all the world and preach the
      good news to all creation" (Mark 16:15). Because it really is a life-or- death situation, where the
      eternal destiny of millions of people depends on the rescue efforts of God's people - all of God's

          The orders are summarized in Proverbs 24:11-12, our word for today from the Word of God.
      "Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter." Those
      stark words describe every person we know, every person on this planet who has not grabbed
      the only one God provided to rescue us from the eternal punishment that our sin deserves.
      That Rescuer in Jesus! The next verse says, "If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,
      does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?'" God will not excuse us for being AWOL in
      His all out mobilization to rescue the dying, whatever it takes.

          He's expecting you to do what His Son did - to do all you can to rescue the lost. If you cook,
      cook to rescue the dying. If you're musical, if you're mechanical, if you're a techie, if you're in
      the media, if you're a prayer warrior, if you contribute to God's work, do what you do to help
      people go to heaven instead of hell. And if you have influence in anyone's life - and we all do -
      don't just use that influence to be a nice person for them. Use the relationship you have to tell
      them about the Rescuer from heaven who rescued you - and who is their only eternal hope.

          In the wake of a hurricane, we saw thousands of people on the verge of dying without hope -
      and an army of us who said, "We can't just let them die." If you'll ask Jesus to help you see the
      world through His eyes, you will see millions on the verge of dying with no hope of heaven,
      headed for an awful eternity. And some of them are right there within your reach. Can you see
      them? Will you do something about it? Will you do more than you've ever done before? We're
      losing so many because no rescuer came.                                    - -  Ron Hutchcraft

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      Standing Up For
      Intellectual Freedom

      There's an old adage that says, "In a time of war,
      truth is the first casualty." Well, there's an
      intellectual war raging right now in Ohio about how
      science should be taught, and the truth has been
      badly wounded. Yet thanks to some courageous
      scientists and a wise proposal for a reasonable
      truce, intellectual freedom and truth may yet carry
      the day.

      Chances are, what you've heard from the mainstream
      press about the intelligent design controversy in
      Ohio is wrong. They've said that the religious right
      is trying to take over Ohio science education and
      force the teaching of intelligent design on science
      teachers and students -- not so. In fact, what has
      been proposed is quite simple -- so simple and
      straightforward, in fact, that the media distortions
      become all the more puzzling.

      Supporters of intelligent design are asking that the
      theory of evolution -- like any other theory -- be
      taught accurately, and by "accurately" they mean
      teaching everything we know about the theory. In
      other words, let students and teachers discuss the
      evidence for and against Darwinian evolution. In
      addition they propose that the curriculum ought to
      include the theory of intelligent design, another
      theory and an alternative to Darwin's theory, with
      evidence for and against.

      That's all that's been proposed in Ohio. If that
      surprises you, I can certainly understand it, because
      the truth has been severely battered by alarmist
      polemics of the national Darwinian lobby. Yet despite
      their distortions and their threats to shame Ohio if
      the state tries to open up science teaching, over
      fifty prominent Ohio scientists have courageously
      endorsed the intelligent design proposal.

      I say "courageously," because challenging the
      prevailing orthodoxy of naturalistic Darwinism can be
      risky to one's career in science. Their public
      statement is inspiring. "A quality science
      education," they say, "should prepare students to
      distinguish the data and testable theories of science
      from religious or philosophical claims that are made
      in the name of science." They added that "a science
      curriculum should encourage critical thinking and
      informed participation in public discussions about
      biological origins," and that "censorship of
      scientific views that may challenge current theories
      of origins" is wrong.

      The scientists who endorsed this statement include
      biologists from Ohio State and Case Western Reserve,
      top universities in Ohio. These scientists think
      there is a genuine scientific controversy here, one
      worth teaching about. It's a controversy that
      students and teachers should be free to discuss
      without intimidation and the threat of lawsuits.
      That's only fair.

      Let's be honest: All that these proponents of
      openness in science teaching are asking for is what
      scientists everywhere take for granted -- namely, the
      freedom to consider all the evidence and all the
      possible explanations for that evidence. We call this
      academic freedom. 
             BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson - Past Reprint

      The Empty Path Of Pleasure 

      Enjoyment was the highest principle guiding philosopher Soren Kierkegaard’s
      decisions.  However, he later wrote that this pursuit radically failed him.
      Here’s what he said.  “In the bottomless ocean of pleasure, I have sounded
      in vain for a spot to cast anchor.  I have felt the almost irresistible
      power with which one pleasure drags another after it, the kind of
      adulterated enthusiasm which it is capable of producing, the boredom, the
      torment which follow.”  End of quote.
      I have talked about the need for an over-arching story to life, by which
      all experiences can be pulled together, and how the denial of this story
      lands a person in self-destruction and spiritual emptiness.  Today, let us
      glimpse at the path many follow—the way of pleasure.
      Regarding this quest for self-fulfillment, sociologist Daniel Yankelovich
      arrived at an astounding analysis.  He’d studied several couples in their
      pursuits and came to this conclusion.  Please notice the word “and” in his
      summary of one particular couple he called “Abby and Mark.”
      Here’s what he said. “If you feel it is imperative to fill all your needs,
      and if these needs are contradictory or in conflict with those of others,
      or are simply unfillable, then frustration inevitably follows.  To Abby and
      to Mark self-fulfillment means having a career and marriage and children
      and sexual freedom and autonomy and being liberal and having money and
      choosing non-conformity and insisting social justice and enjoying city life
      and country living and simplicity and graciousness and reading and good
      friends and on and on.”
      He adds, “The individual is not truly fulfilled by becoming ever more
      autonomous.  Indeed, to move too far in this direction is to risk
      psychosis, the ultimate form of autonomy.  The injunction”–notice this now
      please– “The injunction that to find one’s self, one must lose one’s self,
      contains the truth any seeker of fulfillment needs to grasp.” 
      Chesterton’s dictum has proven true?  Meaninglessness does not come from
      being weary of pain, but from being weary of pleasure.
      Have you cast your anchor, as Kierkegaard did, in “the bottomless ocean of
      pleasure,” only to discover unfulfillment and emptiness?
      Did you hear the sociologist’s injunction—“to find one’s self, one must
      lose one’s self”—and you know this is actually a biblical one, taken from
      the words of Jesus?  And the most dramatic truth of Jesus’ life is that it
      contradicts us in the way we experience ourselves as alive and compels us
      to radically redefine what we mean by life.  In putting our life into His
      hands, we find the life He has for us.  That is truly living.
        Ravi Zacharias

      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      *The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact
      representation of His being, sustaining all things by His
      powerful word. After He had provided purification for sins,
      He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.
          --Hebrews 1
      Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
      MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
      But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
      of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
      a pack of wolves!!**

      sent to me by a friend,  so I really didn't "hear about
      you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
      come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
      seen. The best to you.

      S. P.

      *Another name for UNC.
      ** UNC's archrival - NCSU.


      "I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
      All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
      us through this book."        -- President Abraham Lincoln

      "For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. 
      The eyes of all people are upon us.  So that if we shall deal
      falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
      so cause Him to withdraw! his present help from us, we
      shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
      --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630 
      "It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
      the Bible." - President George Washington

      "The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
      power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

      "That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
      - Queen Victoria

      "If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
      the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
      love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
      in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
      but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
      no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
      bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster 
      (Founding Father)

      "The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
      - Patrick Henry   (original member of the Continental Congress)

      "The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." -  President U.S. Grant

      "It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
      The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
      - Horace Greeley  (Editor)

      "That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson

      "In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
      light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

      "Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

      "So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
      to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
      citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
      many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
      - President John Quincy Adams

      "The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
      benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
      belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

      "The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
      known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

      "All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
      confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
      Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

      "There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
      any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

      "Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
      progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
      mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
      and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
      it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

      "I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
      and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
      is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
      distance separates it from all competitors."
      - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

      "Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
      due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
      a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
      - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

      "The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
      The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
      Huxley (Author & Scientist)

      "The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
      growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

      "America was born a Christian nation. America was born
      to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
      which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
      Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
      of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
      America free and pure they will make their own spirits
      free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
      --President Woodrow Wilson
      For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
      expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
      God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
      miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
      ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
      wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
      the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
            --President George W. Bush

      "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
      great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
      not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.  For this
      very  reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
      prosperity, and freedom of worship here." 
      --Patrick Henry  (
      original member of the Continental Congress)

      Dear Howdy,
      Your newspaper is fun and informative, but I will
      unfortunately no longer have an active e-mail address
      from the end of this week- therefore I must unsubscribe,
      E Miller (Cambridge University)
      Dear Howdy,
      Thanks for the craziness.  I sure enjoy it!! :-)
      But you haven't told us (your readers) very
      much about yourself.  We know how you feel
      about UNC students, we know you have
      a sense of humor but what else can you tell us?!

      (Message over 64 KB, truncated)
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