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New couple

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  • woman4us2358
    Hello...interesting couple, new to the group, looking for interesting ladies for fun, friendship and excitement. Here to meet new people and enjoy ourselves.
    Message 1 of 3 , Jun 1, 2009
      Hello...interesting couple, new to the group, looking for interesting ladies for fun, friendship and excitement. Here to meet new people and enjoy ourselves. Please feel free to introduce yourself and say hi.
    • Tara Shakti-Ma
      Welcome! I m on this list as an out-of-towner, but I am hoping to move to the New England area (to a poly-friendly household or intentional community...non
      Message 2 of 3 , Jun 1, 2009
        Welcome!   I'm on this list as an out-of-towner, but I am hoping to move to the New England area (to a poly-friendly household or intentional community...non relationship strings attached necessarily).  I keep putting out feelers,  but so far I've only gotten nibbles, and no actual bites.
         
        I'm curious....how much experience do you have with polyamory?  Have you read about it?  
         
        I'm guessing by your introduction that you imagine polyamory to be about couples bringing in someone else for "fun".  If not, perhaps you could say more????
         
         Polyamory is so much more than couples looking for "interesting ladies" for "fun, friendship and excitement" with a third party.  Polyamory is about having truly loving, sustainable relationships with others....just like monogamy but without the "only one" part.  Typically this is done as individuals (rather than as a couple) with independent relationships from each other, although also ideally those lovers become at least cordial acquaintances with each other, in order to create a spirit of care and cooperation between all the parties involved.  Sometimes - and rarely - the 2 members of the couple - and a third party may find an equal affinity and attraction to each other, but again that is extremely, extremely rare. 
         
        In my estimation, most women available for such relationships don't really want that kind of relationship...at least right off the bat.   Most of the bisexual polyamorous women I know (and I'm one of them) prefer to engage in one-on-one getting to know someone, without the expectation there's the second half of a "couple" that has to be included or it's a "no go".  The other thing is we tend to not want to get into relationships with "couple-fronts" or dyads who really indentify with their "couplehood".   Couples tend to be very attached to each other and vigilant of what the other is doing, whereas a dyad functions with an independence that seems more healthy for being actively polyamorous. 
         
        On lists we like to see each individual introduce themselves, and speak for themselves as to what is of value to them and what they're looking to co-create with another, or others.  It also helps to at least use a "screen name", even if it's not your street name, as this can add a personal touch that makes the poster seem a bit more forthcoming and personable.  
         
        I own and moderate one of the most rapidly growing, quality discussion groups currently available and have a pretty sensitive finger on what seems to work and what doesn't.  So I offer this as just a bit of an encouragement in the right direction for making connections, on and off line. 
         
        I wish you the very best in your adventure.
         
        Tara Shakti-Ma   )O(
         
        Join us at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ExpansiveLoving/ - an internationally serving on-line group for spiritually and new-paradigm inclined poly-folk. 
         
        Love and Gratitude are the seeds of Joy.  Grace flows freely when I bow to All of Life.
         
        © Copyright Tara Shakti 2009
        ----- Original Message -----
        Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 6:53 AM
        Subject: [NHPoly] New couple

        Hello...interesting couple, new to the group, looking for interesting ladies for fun, friendship and excitement. Here to meet new people and enjoy ourselves. Please feel free to introduce yourself and say hi.

      • ALISON WHITE
        It has been something I ve been thinking about for a long time. I just didn t have a term for it until recently. I do not consider it just fun if that s
        Message 3 of 3 , Jun 3, 2009
          It has been something I've been thinking about for a long time.  I just didn't have a term for it until recently.  I do not consider it just "fun" if that's what I wanted I would be swinging.  That is not my scene I'm looking for another like mided couple to "date" and if all works out have a ltr.  At this point I'm taking baby steps not really expecting it to just fall from the sky and hit me on the head.  And as for the Bi thing and other half no one is saying you have to have sex with every person in the relationship.  Obviously you're going to want to get to know each individual person before commiting couple to couple.  So, who's to say you can't have a girls date, a guys night out, couple date etc..Like any relationship you set your own boundaries and goals.  If you care enough you respect those.  We're a couple looking for a like minded couple not expecting some girl to just jump into the picture I wouldn't want to do that either.  I haven't been having much time to go back to the nhpoly group I have 2 sons under 2 and work is picking up since I work in a lyme disease lab.  But feel free to explain anything you think would help.  I've been doing a lot of research...
           
          S
           

          To: NHPoly@yahoogroups.com
          From: dakinitara@...
          Date: Mon, 1 Jun 2009 07:30:50 -0400
          Subject: Re: [NHPoly] New couple



          Welcome!   I'm on this list as an out-of-towner, but I am hoping to move to the New England area (to a poly-friendly household or intentional community... non relationship strings attached necessarily) .  I keep putting out feelers,  but so far I've only gotten nibbles, and no actual bites.
           
          I'm curious....how much experience do you have with polyamory?  Have you read about it?  
           
          I'm guessing by your introduction that you imagine polyamory to be about couples bringing in someone else for "fun".  If not, perhaps you could say more????
           
           Polyamory is so much more than couples looking for "interesting ladies" for "fun, friendship and excitement" with a third party.  Polyamory is about having truly loving, sustainable relationships with others....just like monogamy but without the "only one" part.  Typically this is done as individuals (rather than as a couple) with independent relationships from each other, although also ideally those lovers become at least cordial acquaintances with each other, in order to create a spirit of care and cooperation between all the parties involved.  Sometimes - and rarely - the 2 members of the couple - and a third party may find an equal affinity and attraction to each other, but again that is extremely, extremely rare. 
           
          In my estimation, most women available for such relationships don't really want that kind of relationship. ..at least right off the bat.   Most of the bisexual polyamorous women I know (and I'm one of them) prefer to engage in one-on-one getting to know someone, without the expectation there's the second half of a "couple" that has to be included or it's a "no go".  The other thing is we tend to not want to get into relationships with "couple-fronts" or dyads who really indentify with their "couplehood" .   Couples tend to be very attached to each other and vigilant of what the other is doing, whereas a dyad functions with an independence that seems more healthy for being actively polyamorous. 
           
          On lists we like to see each individual introduce themselves, and speak for themselves as to what is of value to them and what they're looking to co-create with another, or others.  It also helps to at least use a "screen name", even if it's not your street name, as this can add a personal touch that makes the poster seem a bit more forthcoming and personable.  
           
          I own and moderate one of the most rapidly growing, quality discussion groups currently available and have a pretty sensitive finger on what seems to work and what doesn't.  So I offer this as just a bit of an encouragement in the right direction for making connections, on and off line. 
           
          I wish you the very best in your adventure.
           
          Tara Shakti-Ma   )O(
           
          Join us at http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/ExpansiveL oving/ - an internationally serving on-line group for spiritually and new-paradigm inclined poly-folk. 
           
          Love and Gratitude are the seeds of Joy.  Grace flows freely when I bow to All of Life.
           
          © Copyright Tara Shakti 2009
          ----- Original Message -----
          Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 6:53 AM
          Subject: [NHPoly] New couple

          Hello...interesting couple, new to the group, looking for interesting ladies for fun, friendship and excitement. Here to meet new people and enjoy ourselves. Please feel free to introduce yourself and say hi.





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