Wednesday 18 August
- his herstory
with love from
i am a blind reflection
in the mottled glass of time
rehearsing secret particles
of inspirations fine.
i look into the eyes of earth and
see forever sky,
i reach into the countless stars
and bid the thought to fly.
what love is enough love?
is it all? is it more?
when i hear the waves, i wander
till i find the shore.
what love is all love?
is it here? a waking dream?
love ends time
when countless hands create
when i write my last song
what will be the rhyme?
love will be a symphony
the chorus out of time.
when i take discordant terms
i will stumble round to find
wordless peace and truth
love wrote upon my humming mind.
from fearlessly yours
This list is a chameleon, as anyone who has spent a few
months here knows. It takes on the blended colors of the
active contributors, and no one person dominates always. The
colors the list takes now are like rich sunrises and
i too, am touched by Kristi's story. it is the "plain ordinary
evince the extraordinary opportunities we are given-- opportunities to
true nature. if you think about the possibility of extending love in
way, if you *think* about it--it might seem like an impossible and
task. but when faced with another's suffering, and when the thinking
judging go out the window, there is nothing to do but help. it has
amazed me that i have been able to face situations which i previously
have thought myself unable to bear. then the big love takes over, the
which contains us all, and holds us, as we hold our loved ones.
i have a brother who very much fits the description of kristi's
would only hope that along the way, when i cannot been near, he falls
such loving arms. if i thought about it, could i have faced my heroine
addicted, psychotic brother--taken him for food, visited him in prison
various institutions? or my mom-- could i have dreamed i could bathe
take care of her as one would a two year old? could i have cared for
brothers as they grew old before their time and succumbed to the aids
for all of the talk and theorizing about stopping thought and being
and not doing, these are the moments when *that* occurs --with a
which leaves one with wonder long after. how did i do that? i would
never thought myself that strong. i didn't do it. kristi didn't do
her story is a wonderful example of not being the doer.
we talk. we suffer. we rejoice. we are broken and healed.
said, "the world breaks everyone. afterwards some are strong at the
who can figure it out? kristi just *knows.* i honour that.
blessings to all,
I cried that strange undivided joy and sadness when you
....then the big love takes over, the love
which contains us all, and holds us, as we hold our loved
I may never be able to tell my story.....it is too unusual
and can't be understood without This. I am deeply grateful
for yours and Kristie's beautiful posts. They have opened an
ever widening understanding of who the non doer is, in me.
It is always that which I can't find words for. That which
motivates me to comfort those who are afraid to love when
others can not bear them. It has made the unacceptable a
joy to embrace tirelessly. It is that which fills my sails
and takes others with me over their sea of pain as we look
playfully together. This always was the healer. This always
has blessed my life.
Thank you both so much,
From: DON Gould <peondon@...>
I am Peondon or just peon, just joined yesterday
although some posts have been read in the past.
By way of introduction I submit this which is what and
who I AM 'today'.
Integration, which, on closer examination is not
really integration, for the 'illusion' of seperateness
was our doings.
Our conditioning of thinking we are body, mind, soul,
spirit....four parts of a whole.
Sometimes the hardest illusions to overcome to a
return to THIS is the one instigated by Religion.
I say return because a small child does not know other
than THIS....what IS.
No ideas of spirit, soul, mind, body. Just IS. Always
such Joy to watch a child awaken and greet the new day
as though it would escape and be forever lost if they
did not personally greet it with acceptance. And joy!
While we adults reluctantly drag our wretched 'bodies'
out of the sack. Wonder who the "our" is?
Splits, divisions, seperateness....all "learned'
things because of our curiosity, desire to understand.
Understanding through dividing.
Nothing wrong with that... so long as one remembers
the Whole from which the parts were disected.
Nothing wrong with 'me', soul, body, mind, spirit,
Ego, just need remember the importance of the whole
from which we 'created' them.
Got to put Humty Dumpty together again.
Gotta rememember he had a Big Fall first.
Seperated him from God, Onenes, All, Self!
Now seperates him from THIS and in so doing makes him
Ain't THIS just how life IS, an unbroken chain.
A chain of causes following the First Cause,....more
There is but ONE cause. LOVE
Awakening to THIS by dropping That. Becoming by
Forty years in the desert, forty days in meditation
and fasting, or forty seconds in abyss.
Leaves us with THIS.
Lots of posts this morning to read...may have to go to
I find interesting this statement:
"Identical twins can be linked to the generalization of the Pauli
in that no two objects can occupy the same space, and so the these twins
the one object in TWO spaces! "
But strictly speaking there are no identical twins. As every police
officer will tell you, they have different fingerprints. So, different
objects after all.
So i declare the Pauli Exclusion Principle a nondual principle. Objects
come to be so different after all, that one comes to realize that
nothing really may distinguish one object from the other. Strictly
specking my finger print is never the same from one time or space to the
other. I have no twin in time and space.
my mom wrote her last poem when she was 57. it goes like this:
"oh, but i see the dark forest
my mind is dark forest.
but what is it? it is
only here but
what is it? who am i? am i a man
a woman? what is it? what is my name-- isn't that.
am i an animal
i love little animals
i don't want to eat them. but what is it?
i can't say it.
who am i"
--carole jean williams
one who knew keats and yeats and shakespeare--versed only in the truth,
the words of ramana . . .
blessings and love,
On UG Krishnamurti:
Never underestimate the
power and value of one
who delivers a kick in
the ass(umptions), even
if (s)he is personally
A while back I read UG's "Mystique of Enlightenment," which is on the
I loved it but this paragraph almost stopped me:
"If you practice any system of mind control, automatically the 'you' is
there, and through this it is continuing. Have you ever meditated,
seriously meditated? Or do you know anyone who has? Nobody does. If you
seriously meditate, you'll wind up in the loony bin. Nor can you
mindfulness trying to be aware every moment of your life. You cannot be
aware; you and awareness cannot co-exist. If you could be in a state of
awareness for one second by the clock, once in your life, the continuity
would be snapped, the illusion of the experiencing structure, the 'you',
would collapse, and everything would fall into the natural rhythm. In
state you do not know what you are looking at -- that is awareness. If
recognize what you are looking at, you are there, again experiencing the
old, what you know. "
Does he really mean people don't do this? I mean, they do, don't they?
In discussing UG's experience of not knowing what a thing "is," it's
intriguing that Adi Da has made this an important part of his teaching,
least he did some years ago. He calls it "Divine Ignorance" and it has
do with the fact that in truth, no one really knows what a thing "IS" in
itself, not really. "You don't know what a single thing IS," he writes
someplace. I remember the words quite precisely. The statement had a
impact on me. It's something to chew on for a long time.
On a tangent . . .
I've been getting into Scientology lately (the tech, not the church) and
LRH's whole shtick was turning what are basically koans (paradoxical
statements) into "processes," or exercises to use to get to truth. If
wanted to make a process or TR (Training Routine) out of this, you could
audit the command/inquiry, "What is this? What is this?" while pointing
PC (preclear) to any number of different items in a room. Just keep
the question over and over for a few minutes or hours or whatever. In
auditing, you never evaluate the pc's answers, just acknowledge them
simple "okay." You keep running a process as long as a positive change
tone can be noted and no longer. I have a feeling that this could be a
powerful process for running out aberrated knowingness and getting the
realization. Anyone's welcome to give it a go.
In the west, Emanuel Kant, the great German philosopher, pointed out
in his book, Critique of Pure Reason (I think), that the "Thing in It
can never be known as it must be perceived through the instrument of the
mind and the mind is apriori limited to perceiving in a certain way. In
Self-Experience of the nondual mystic, the mind is absent, and
the Thing In It Self "Perceives" It Self. In this sense the Perceiver Is
Perception Is the Being. All One.
Identification with the hero of one's thoughts / dreams /
expectations / "best" experiences etc. Belonging to, being
rooted in, denotes the same: cutting one's roots, giving up
identification, apparently doesn't come easy. It is the reason
why lineage and discipleship rarely "produces" prototypes like
Buddha, Jesus or Krishna.
Don't know who you guys are talkimg about in "UG" but
I do think I know what it is ti which he refers.
No two people experience the same thing in Awakening,
Beyond meditation is pure being in which a knowledge
of the divine is manifested.
In visions there is normaly one last image of the mind
projested upon hte screen of the mind. IT may be Jesus
or lotus petals or a snake for that matter in Hindu
fashion...anythinh revered in the mind of the one
Many Garus deny meditation has occured until the mind
is transcended, others refer to attempts to transcend
as meditation. And so it is but a matter of semantics.
The latter interpretation is much more useful as so
many occurances transpire in route to Realization,
OBEs, Ndes, evrty imaginable psychic phenomenon known
may occur at some point.
Many times seekers are so interested in the lessor
phenomenon that they quit the journey.
In any case the mind is sick with attachments and
conditionings which has served us well in attaining an
experience in living, education, sociatal limitations
etc,....but a sick mind cannot heal itself and so must
be shed for sa few seconds of cleasing and refilling.
And when its all said and done nothing has changed but
the one who experienced.
Perhaps as a new subscriber I am out of bounds so best
lay back and await responses.
Before parting however I would caution anyone from
taking a Garu. All anyon will ever need in the
seeking is already within, cannot be "learned" and so
how can a Garu "teach" it?
Best to take a "so what and or if" attitude or the
other extreme of believing head is under water and one
cannot breath unless one Experiences immediately.
When Experienceing comes one is uttterly amazed at how
easynit was, what small a journey it was, hoiw little
is changed, etc.
Gene to Rob:
Re: Rob/Taking notes at the opera
>Yes, I think you're right. Have you been in a state like this yet? I'vebeen in states that approach this to a certain extent; where there is no
to think of moving toward anything because there is no way to think of
present state in relation to anything else -- it can't even be assessed
here and now. But i have so far always retained a sense of
(So far as I can remember anyway. I think I may not remember much of
happens in these states.)
>-- RobHi Rob...
I have no criticisms whatsoever of your path or ways. I was impressed by
your introductory posting; you seem to be undergoing experiences which
many ways parallel my own.
In the subsequent discussions, and your replies in them, the only point
that stands out for me, is that "you do not need to take notes".
By this I mean, that as we experience, if we take note of what we
experience, that we create a remove from what we experience; we are
indexing what we experience _to what we have already experienced_. This
how the comparison, mentioned by Dan, serves to enforce separation.
I am not talking about 'noticing' what we experience, I am talking about
'noting' what we experience. Think of the times that you have noticed
one who is taking notes during a lecture will request that the speaker
repeat phrases or 'slow down'. You may have noticed that one who does
does not 'get the lesson', but instead assumes that a later review of
taken notes, will allow the lesson to be gotten. Or imagine taking notes
the opera, instead of 'simply' relaxing into the musical massage.
In any event, my original impulse was to write to you, and offer that
very honestly expressed fear of 'losing it', is indeed the fulcrum of
issue. Not knowing 'what to expect' at that fateful moment of 'total
oneness with what-is', indeed is an inhibitor. The fear... that the
'note-taker' will be 'taken away', and that one will become lost in an
undefinable nonlinear universe, is indeed a real thing to deal with.
I want to say, that (it) is actually 'harmless'... even 'benevolent',
in fact 'loving'. It is all, this is all, in reality, a 'gentle story'.
Others may point to the unceasing world-dream dramas and say, "oh yeah,
then what about THAT?", and I say to them, as I point to me, "and what
about THIS?". I see no need to go very far into comparison, but if
comparison is being made, _you_ are for you, the final arbiter. If you
know and respect that, you have a perfect springboard; you will know, at
the time, what is personal and what is impersonal. Eventually, you will
know the nature of the impersonal, and you will know, how to _act_ like
there is actually a personal there. If you do not act like there is a
personal, the people you are with will 'lose it', on the spot.
Acting like it matters,
And it does matter,
If it matters to you,
If there is a you,
for it to matter to...
Long lost, never lost...