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Wednesday 18 August

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  • andrew macnab
    his herstory with love from aleks i am a blind reflection in the mottled glass of time rehearsing secret particles of inspirations fine. i look into the eyes
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 19, 1999
      his herstory
      with love from

      i am a blind reflection
      in the mottled glass of time
      rehearsing secret particles
      of inspirations fine.
      i look into the eyes of earth and
      see forever sky,
      i reach into the countless stars
      and bid the thought to fly.

      what love is enough love?
      is it all? is it more?
      when i hear the waves, i wander
      till i find the shore.
      what love is all love?
      is it here? a waking dream?
      love ends time
      when countless hands create

      when i write my last song
      what will be the rhyme?
      love will be a symphony
      the chorus out of time.
      when i take discordant terms
      i will stumble round to find
      wordless peace and truth
      love wrote upon my humming mind.

      aleks berlin
      from fearlessly yours



      This list is a chameleon, as anyone who has spent a few
      months here knows. It takes on the blended colors of the
      active contributors, and no one person dominates always. The
      colors the list takes now are like rich sunrises and



      i too, am touched by Kristi's story. it is the "plain ordinary
      details" that
      evince the extraordinary opportunities we are given-- opportunities to
      be our
      true nature. if you think about the possibility of extending love in
      way, if you *think* about it--it might seem like an impossible and
      task. but when faced with another's suffering, and when the thinking
      judging go out the window, there is nothing to do but help. it has
      amazed me that i have been able to face situations which i previously
      have thought myself unable to bear. then the big love takes over, the
      which contains us all, and holds us, as we hold our loved ones.

      i have a brother who very much fits the description of kristi's
      friend. i
      would only hope that along the way, when i cannot been near, he falls
      such loving arms. if i thought about it, could i have faced my heroine
      addicted, psychotic brother--taken him for food, visited him in prison
      various institutions? or my mom-- could i have dreamed i could bathe
      her and
      take care of her as one would a two year old? could i have cared for
      brothers as they grew old before their time and succumbed to the aids
      for all of the talk and theorizing about stopping thought and being
      and not doing, these are the moments when *that* occurs --with a
      which leaves one with wonder long after. how did i do that? i would
      never thought myself that strong. i didn't do it. kristi didn't do
      her story is a wonderful example of not being the doer.

      we talk. we suffer. we rejoice. we are broken and healed.
      said, "the world breaks everyone. afterwards some are strong at the

      who can figure it out? kristi just *knows.* i honour that.
      blessings to all,



      I cried that strange undivided joy and sadness when you
      this Aleks....

      ....then the big love takes over, the love
      which contains us all, and holds us, as we hold our loved

      I may never be able to tell my story.....it is too unusual
      and can't be understood without This. I am deeply grateful
      for yours and Kristie's beautiful posts. They have opened an
      ever widening understanding of who the non doer is, in me.
      It is always that which I can't find words for. That which
      motivates me to comfort those who are afraid to love when
      others can not bear them. It has made the unacceptable a
      joy to embrace tirelessly. It is that which fills my sails
      and takes others with me over their sea of pain as we look
      playfully together. This always was the healer. This always
      has blessed my life.

      Thank you both so much,

      From: DON Gould <peondon@...>

      Hi all,

      I am Peondon or just peon, just joined yesterday
      although some posts have been read in the past.

      By way of introduction I submit this which is what and
      who I AM 'today'.

      Integration, which, on closer examination is not
      really integration, for the 'illusion' of seperateness
      was our doings.

      Our conditioning of thinking we are body, mind, soul,
      spirit....four parts of a whole.

      Sometimes the hardest illusions to overcome to a
      return to THIS is the one instigated by Religion.

      I say return because a small child does not know other
      than THIS....what IS.

      No ideas of spirit, soul, mind, body. Just IS. Always
      such Joy to watch a child awaken and greet the new day
      as though it would escape and be forever lost if they
      did not personally greet it with acceptance. And joy!

      While we adults reluctantly drag our wretched 'bodies'
      out of the sack. Wonder who the "our" is?

      Splits, divisions, seperateness....all "learned'
      things because of our curiosity, desire to understand.
      Understanding through dividing.

      Nothing wrong with that... so long as one remembers
      the Whole from which the parts were disected.

      Nothing wrong with 'me', soul, body, mind, spirit,
      Ego, just need remember the importance of the whole
      from which we 'created' them.

      Got to put Humty Dumpty together again.

      Gotta rememember he had a Big Fall first.

      Seperated him from God, Onenes, All, Self!

      Now seperates him from THIS and in so doing makes him
      unhappy...wanting THAT.

      Ain't THIS just how life IS, an unbroken chain.

      A chain of causes following the First Cause,....more
      untrue Seperation.

      There is but ONE cause. LOVE

      Awakening to THIS by dropping That. Becoming by
      becoming 'not'.

      Forty years in the desert, forty days in meditation
      and fasting, or forty seconds in abyss.

      Leaves us with THIS.

      Lots of posts this morning to read...may have to go to
      digest mode.



      I find interesting this statement:
      "Identical twins can be linked to the generalization of the Pauli
      Exclusion Principle
      in that no two objects can occupy the same space, and so the these twins
      the one object in TWO spaces! "


      But strictly speaking there are no identical twins. As every police
      officer will tell you, they have different fingerprints. So, different
      objects after all.



      So i declare the Pauli Exclusion Principle a nondual principle. Objects
      come to be so different after all, that one comes to realize that
      nothing really may distinguish one object from the other. Strictly
      specking my finger print is never the same from one time or space to the
      other. I have no twin in time and space.


      my mom wrote her last poem when she was 57. it goes like this:

      "oh, but i see the dark forest
      my mind is dark forest.
      but what is it? it is
      only here but
      what is it? who am i? am i a man
      this isnt.
      a woman? what is it? what is my name-- isn't that.
      am i an animal
      i love little animals
      i don't want to eat them. but what is it?
      i can't say it.
      who am i"
      --carole jean williams
      one who knew keats and yeats and shakespeare--versed only in the truth,
      the words of ramana . . .

      blessings and love,


      On UG Krishnamurti:


      Never underestimate the
      power and value of one
      who delivers a kick in
      the ass(umptions), even
      if (s)he is personally
      quite insane...


      A while back I read UG's "Mystique of Enlightenment," which is on the
      web at

      I loved it but this paragraph almost stopped me:

      "If you practice any system of mind control, automatically the 'you' is
      there, and through this it is continuing. Have you ever meditated,
      seriously meditated? Or do you know anyone who has? Nobody does. If you
      seriously meditate, you'll wind up in the loony bin. Nor can you
      mindfulness trying to be aware every moment of your life. You cannot be
      aware; you and awareness cannot co-exist. If you could be in a state of
      awareness for one second by the clock, once in your life, the continuity
      would be snapped, the illusion of the experiencing structure, the 'you',
      would collapse, and everything would fall into the natural rhythm. In
      state you do not know what you are looking at -- that is awareness. If
      recognize what you are looking at, you are there, again experiencing the
      old, what you know. "

      Does he really mean people don't do this? I mean, they do, don't they?


      In discussing UG's experience of not knowing what a thing "is," it's
      intriguing that Adi Da has made this an important part of his teaching,
      least he did some years ago. He calls it "Divine Ignorance" and it has
      do with the fact that in truth, no one really knows what a thing "IS" in
      itself, not really. "You don't know what a single thing IS," he writes
      someplace. I remember the words quite precisely. The statement had a
      impact on me. It's something to chew on for a long time.

      On a tangent . . .

      I've been getting into Scientology lately (the tech, not the church) and
      LRH's whole shtick was turning what are basically koans (paradoxical
      statements) into "processes," or exercises to use to get to truth. If
      wanted to make a process or TR (Training Routine) out of this, you could
      audit the command/inquiry, "What is this? What is this?" while pointing
      PC (preclear) to any number of different items in a room. Just keep
      the question over and over for a few minutes or hours or whatever. In
      auditing, you never evaluate the pc's answers, just acknowledge them
      with a
      simple "okay." You keep running a process as long as a positive change
      tone can be noted and no longer. I have a feeling that this could be a
      powerful process for running out aberrated knowingness and getting the
      pc to
      realization. Anyone's welcome to give it a go.


      In the west, Emanuel Kant, the great German philosopher, pointed out
      in his book, Critique of Pure Reason (I think), that the "Thing in It
      can never be known as it must be perceived through the instrument of the
      mind and the mind is apriori limited to perceiving in a certain way. In
      Self-Experience of the nondual mystic, the mind is absent, and
      the Thing In It Self "Perceives" It Self. In this sense the Perceiver Is
      Perception Is the Being. All One.


      Identification with the hero of one's thoughts / dreams /
      expectations / "best" experiences etc. Belonging to, being
      rooted in, denotes the same: cutting one's roots, giving up
      identification, apparently doesn't come easy. It is the reason
      why lineage and discipleship rarely "produces" prototypes like
      Buddha, Jesus or Krishna.

      Don't know who you guys are talkimg about in "UG" but
      I do think I know what it is ti which he refers.

      No two people experience the same thing in Awakening,
      Beyond meditation is pure being in which a knowledge
      of the divine is manifested.

      In visions there is normaly one last image of the mind
      projested upon hte screen of the mind. IT may be Jesus
      or lotus petals or a snake for that matter in Hindu
      fashion...anythinh revered in the mind of the one
      transcending mind.

      Many Garus deny meditation has occured until the mind
      is transcended, others refer to attempts to transcend
      as meditation. And so it is but a matter of semantics.

      The latter interpretation is much more useful as so
      many occurances transpire in route to Realization,
      OBEs, Ndes, evrty imaginable psychic phenomenon known
      may occur at some point.

      Many times seekers are so interested in the lessor
      phenomenon that they quit the journey.

      In any case the mind is sick with attachments and
      conditionings which has served us well in attaining an
      experience in living, education, sociatal limitations
      etc,....but a sick mind cannot heal itself and so must
      be shed for sa few seconds of cleasing and refilling.

      And when its all said and done nothing has changed but
      the one who experienced.

      Perhaps as a new subscriber I am out of bounds so best
      lay back and await responses.

      Before parting however I would caution anyone from
      taking a Garu. All anyon will ever need in the
      seeking is already within, cannot be "learned" and so
      how can a Garu "teach" it?

      Best to take a "so what and or if" attitude or the
      other extreme of believing head is under water and one
      cannot breath unless one Experiences immediately.

      When Experienceing comes one is uttterly amazed at how
      easynit was, what small a journey it was, hoiw little
      is changed, etc.



      Gene to Rob:

      Re: Rob/Taking notes at the opera

      >Yes, I think you're right. Have you been in a state like this yet? I've
      been in states that approach this to a certain extent; where there is no
      to think of moving toward anything because there is no way to think of
      present state in relation to anything else -- it can't even be assessed
      as a
      here and now. But i have so far always retained a sense of
      (So far as I can remember anyway. I think I may not remember much of
      happens in these states.)

      >-- Rob

      Hi Rob...

      I have no criticisms whatsoever of your path or ways. I was impressed by
      your introductory posting; you seem to be undergoing experiences which
      many ways parallel my own.

      In the subsequent discussions, and your replies in them, the only point
      that stands out for me, is that "you do not need to take notes".

      By this I mean, that as we experience, if we take note of what we
      experience, that we create a remove from what we experience; we are
      indexing what we experience _to what we have already experienced_. This
      how the comparison, mentioned by Dan, serves to enforce separation.

      I am not talking about 'noticing' what we experience, I am talking about
      'noting' what we experience. Think of the times that you have noticed
      one who is taking notes during a lecture will request that the speaker
      repeat phrases or 'slow down'. You may have noticed that one who does
      does not 'get the lesson', but instead assumes that a later review of
      taken notes, will allow the lesson to be gotten. Or imagine taking notes
      the opera, instead of 'simply' relaxing into the musical massage.

      In any event, my original impulse was to write to you, and offer that
      very honestly expressed fear of 'losing it', is indeed the fulcrum of
      issue. Not knowing 'what to expect' at that fateful moment of 'total
      oneness with what-is', indeed is an inhibitor. The fear... that the
      'note-taker' will be 'taken away', and that one will become lost in an
      undefinable nonlinear universe, is indeed a real thing to deal with.

      I want to say, that (it) is actually 'harmless'... even 'benevolent',
      in fact 'loving'. It is all, this is all, in reality, a 'gentle story'.

      Others may point to the unceasing world-dream dramas and say, "oh yeah,
      then what about THAT?", and I say to them, as I point to me, "and what
      about THIS?". I see no need to go very far into comparison, but if
      comparison is being made, _you_ are for you, the final arbiter. If you
      know and respect that, you have a perfect springboard; you will know, at
      the time, what is personal and what is impersonal. Eventually, you will
      know the nature of the impersonal, and you will know, how to _act_ like
      there is actually a personal there. If you do not act like there is a
      personal, the people you are with will 'lose it', on the spot.

      Acting like it matters,

      And it does matter,

      If it matters to you,

      If there is a you,

      for it to matter to...

      Long lost, never lost...

      ==Gene Poole==
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