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Highlights, August 14

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  • umbada@xx.xxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxx)
    with love from aleks parallel we stood obsequious to dreams-- divided-- in mind, the sacred wood grew poetry unrecited. songs that we knew told us what we re
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 16, 1999
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      with love from aleks

      parallel we stood
      obsequious to dreams--
      in mind,
      the sacred wood grew poetry
      songs that we knew
      told us what we're coming to
      beneath the ragged moon.

      we traced the woods of old
      looking out for words below and
      watched the past unfold--
      to run? or face the phantom blows?
      here time had no sting. no death
      no age
      no anything. the moment took us in.

      is there anything better?
      is there anything new?
      is there time with no wonder?
      another window? a different view?
      is there anything here--
      beneath the ragged moon?

      sleep was sweet release,
      unattended fantasy--
      but rarefied the wood
      woke books to hear and songs to see.
      in time we would know
      the obvious but yet to show
      the ragged moon

      "song from inside out"
      aleks berlin

      It's really very simple.
      There truly is no such thing as a "separate".
      It's just simply the way it is. And it's in our
      misconceptual thinking that there is some separate something
      or other that causes all these problems and all this
      unhappiness. It's just the stripping away of all our
      notions, these "fears" that we realize this, and we are left
      with what is. Which was always here in the first place.
      And the way to realize this, from my experience, is by not
      pushing away these fears, these wounds, but by letting them
      come up, come up to the surface where they can be healed.
      Courage is the key. I think Chogram Trungpa said to "march
      headfirst into your dissapointments, that dissapointment was
      the best chariot." Worked in my case, what more can I say??
      Turned out the teaching was right all along. I just had to
      "live it". I had to walk it.



      Two letters from Kristie:

      Really, lists are so monodimensional....there is little
      inflection or expression or all the nuances of "face to
      face" communication that suggest a broader message or intent
      than words sometimes convey....some of you do this really
      well....I admire those who do this for it....but, I think
      the (spiritual) point is....that we are, none of us, what we
      say or do or think or convey....we are something beyond
      that, whole and holy and pure and tender and abundant...our
      daily encounters, whether in person or in writing, are
      simply lessons to each other and ourselves about the degree
      to which we have accepted that Truth...or...the degree to
      which we hold other values or ideas more dear....and....the
      degree to which we confuse a person's spirit with their
      personality and blind ourselves and them to the truth of who
      they are....

      This list has certainly pushed all my buttons and I have
      seen myself clearly, both the holy purity, and the mortal
      bullshit....but I don't try to hide either....it's up to you
      what you choose to see....

      My time in the streets and among the underclass and the
      despised showed me how easy it is to celebrate in joyous
      affirmation every aspect of humanity, whether it appears to
      the physical and cultural eye as good or evil....I still
      have a hard time with this among people for whom I have
      established expectations.....self-proclaimed healers and
      wise people, seekers and knowledgeable people, successful
      people and rich people, who think they "know" are an open
      invitation for my suspicion and cynicism....(they don't
      invite this, of course, it's my button).....I have a harder
      time "loving" people who have all the benny's than I do
      "loving" people who have nothing, expect nothing and have
      come to terms with being nothing....which, of course, means
      that I still don't have but the vaguest clue of what Love
      really is.....

      I have assumed that the truly wise person and healer will be
      infinitely compassionate and kind, gentle and insightful,
      tender and skilled at eliciting a response from a place of
      value and worth, not judgement or cynicism.....this
      attachment to compassion...(which I clearly lack in some
      places) may be an agenda....I am letting go...

      I can only say over and over and over again.....form and
      substance, difference and sameness are the only arenas that
      count......we should be aware of when we think that changing
      form has changed the essence....we think this often....yes,
      I hold this list to a higher standard of consistency and
      integrity than other communities of thought.....because the
      list claims, collectively and individually, to have
      insight....I continue here because, I like it....I like the
      bullshit and the insight....sometimes I like nailing the
      bullshit, as I see it, because I know i'll get a real clear
      picture of my own agendas in the process....and I am always
      fascinated by how innately driven we are to judge and
      evaluate rather than to be truly non-dual which is the
      non-evaluative experience of experiences....Still Seeking.


      You are the first person to ever validate that experience
      (of being homeless yet living in a space of love and
      surrender))...thank you so much for seeing
      that....translating it back into the "real" world, the world
      of things and schedules and worldy expectations and
      judgement from the powers that be, courts and judges and
      such, has been much more challenging than being
      homeless.....I think at that time, I was in a total state of
      Grace....it wasn't a headspace I created but it was one I
      was receptive to.

      Just prior to my "downfall" I had said to God, ( at that
      time I felt a sense of richness in my life, and a fullness
      of spirit, a strong leading to share, and a capacity to
      reach others - not through preaching but through loving and
      accepting them) "I think I am ready, if there is work you
      want me to do, I think I have the strength and the wisdom to
      turn to You, I am ready." Be careful what you ask for!

      Two weeks later, I was homeless, my worldly life shattered
      and everything I ever thought or felt was upside down, and I
      had no place to turn but Grace. For the next two months I
      conducted what I called a "guerilla ministry" in the
      streets. I don't think I ever mentioned God's name to
      anyone but I fed people, brought them out of O.D's, fed
      their children, intervened in battery and assaults of
      various sorts and floated, floated in great joy and peace.
      Then it was over, the Grace lifted and all I could see was
      the hell, wherein I began to recognize my own demons.

      I still believe that there was purpose to all this and that
      i have more "work" to do; but for now the work is largely to
      integrate my mystical and miracle experiences into every day
      reality.....I would not recommend this path to anybody - all
      paths work and are equal in value....but I don't know how
      else I would have ever been brought to see what Truth and
      Awareness are. I have struggled and almost abandoned my
      faith several times in the last two years....in fact I
      abandoned it again last week....but everytime I let it
      go...it comes back on its own and lifts me and reminds me
      that all is perfect exactly as it is......Thank you, again.
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