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Thursday June 19, 2001

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  • Gloria Lee
    ************ GARY MERRILL Subject: [NDS] Re: dropping conditioning, purplish Grace Hi Mr Invisible (Dan), snip (Dan) ... Yes there is no manufacturer, and
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 20 2:11 PM
      Subject: [NDS] Re: dropping conditioning, purplish Grace

      Hi Mr Invisible (Dan),

      snip> (Dan)
      >It would need "I" there
      to manufacture
      >that perception (of Grace).

      Yes there is no manufacturer, and that is grace. Not that 'grace' is
      somehow meaningful or desrable or valuable, that would be a backward
      step. To talk of 'grace' at all may be misleading as it would
      indicate a division into grace and non-grace, whilst the main feature
      of grace is non-division. That the garden could be lost and regained
      would seem to be ultimately an illusion, the illusion of identity.
      That I am separtate from the garden, from grace. When I am grace, so
      to speak, then it is no longer a possession, how can one possess what
      one is?

      >In/as *reality* there are not
      even no steps whatsoever.
      >With even one step or no step, the shadowy
      >has begun his withered grasp...

      Not making a step is the same as making a step. There is no question
      of stepping or not stepping. No stepper here at Withering Heights. No

      telling you anything you don't know, I'm sure ;-)

      Not at all. My understanding of this needs to be expressed and
      clarified and your own expression makes a fine foil for my blind

      Gary (Mr Purple)

      ED & DAN on dropping conditioning

      Dear Dan,
      What arises simultaneously is the everythingness
      that is universal love...and "Dan" that is its unique
      and awesome expression.
      Thank you for being "me". ;-)
      Namaste, Ed

      Okay, Ed, now consider this ...

      Once commenting about it, calling it
        "everythingness" and "universal love"
         there is a commentator -- someone
         situated who knows what everythingness
         is and who can say that it is universal
         love and this or that (e.g.,"Dan") is its expression.

      That commentator who knows what is going
        on -- how is that one being placed, maintained,
        able to develop criteria for judging (e.g., what
        everythingness is, what universal love is, or
        isn't) ...

      As long at the commentator is believed to have
        a place to exist, the question of identity hasn't
        been opened as fully as possible ...


      JERRY anyone in Ireland?
      The following was posted on the form located on the NDS Home Page at

      All are welcome to fill it out. Your note will be sent to this list
      (unless you request otherwise) and to others in your area, if we know of



      name=Hugh Bradley
      Your Location=Co Louth, Ireland
      text=I would love to make contact with others interested in advaita. We
      have too many teachers visiting Ireland unfortunatly. Lets try and

      Hi Jerry,

      With regard to anyone in Ireland or elsewhere in the UK (there was
      someone from Wales the other day), I live in the South West of
      England and I'm always happy to receive private emails. We (non-
      dualists?) are a bit thin on the ground around here compared to the

      Always happy to receive emails in general as its more about being
      friends and sharing rather than posturing don't you think.

      my email: gmerrill@...



      Judi wrote:
      >****** You can't relate because you lack the passion that necessarily
      >> >goes with  Understanding. So instead, your existence is one of wandering
      >> >aimlessly, afraid and angry, *a dilemma*, not knowing what you're even
      >> >looking for. Your entire *existence* is nothing but fear. And you avoid
      >> >it like it's a plague, with all the bullshit that you try to convince
      >> >yourself and others of, of how *nice* it somehow is,
      >> >instead of falling into it, the *dilemma* itself.
      > ***** Thank you, yes, it's pretty much the nit of it.
      > It appears it was wasted on her. People want
      > a lot of things, but unfortunately, truth is not one of them.

      WEll, Judi-you know so much about me.  Must be omniscience (or something)
      I'll *have* whatever the moment presents.
      All quite perfect as it is, nothing wasted.
      As far as "wanting the truth".....???
      Ive paid my dues.
      Wandering to this country and that country,
      This ashram and that monastery,
      Up this creek and down that one
      On my cushion sitting for an hour,
      Sweating and sick with pain,
      Walking an hour, sweating and sick with pain,
      Down at 12 up at 3am crazed without sleep.
      -sitting walking sitting walking
      sitting walking sitting walking fourteen hours a day,
      Until no day and no night,
      Just me,the roaches and rats
      Scurrying in the dark under
      the full moon, hot sun, full moon
      Season after season, rain or shine
      Sweating and sick with pain.
      Eating up cancer, healing from rape
       and lifetimes of death,
      Hour after hour, day after day,
      week after week, month after month
      year after year. Smacked with sticks,
      Anointed with oils, flat on my face,
      Grovelling on my belly, but not to guru's
      Dying and watching others already dead,
      In complete silence, no truth bullshit,
      Just screaming crying moaning silent mantras
      Head on into suffering, diving deep down
      Way into madness vomiting up hate and fear
      Split into a million pieces,
      Peeling away layers upon layers until
      Nothing is left-everything remains.
      I know nothing at all anymore,
      Here and now? Radiance, peace
      Love beyond all expression,
      Delight and rapture and a sip of hot tea.
      I have given Birth to myself
      Moment by moment, breath by breath
      I give birth to the universe
      All beings my children that
       I hold in my belly.
      Something wonderful!
      At the end of the rope.

      You don't know me!




      ***** Who you trying to convince? For who's benefit Joyce?
      Read what Dan had to say here below...and then re-read
      above there what you just wrote.

      > >>
      > >> "Yes, my life is dilemma, and I can't get
      > >>    out of it by convincing myself or others
      > >>    that something "wonderful" is what it is.
      > >
      > > *** Exactly. People continually bullshiting themselves.

      ******* *If* you can stop and take a breath for a minute and drop
      that *fight* that you're all about, that struggle, and instead
      just take an honest look at yourself and the whole bullshit
      struggle trip itself. Step out of it and look at it and see
      it for what it is. It's nothing but phonied up identity of
      you trying to be a somebody, a somebody, as you say *wonderful*.
      Well let me tell you Joyce, there indeed is something wonderful,
      but it has nothing to do with you.

      Here's a little poem from Wayne....

      You respond to flattery.

      You adore being
      Told that you are:

      Pure Love
      Ultimate Goodness
      Everything Wonderful and Worthwhile

      You flock to Masters
      That reassure you
      You're not the debased
      Little asshole
      You secretly know yourself to be.

      Guess what?

      The You they are talking about
      Isn't you.


      Hi Michael..!
      I'd like the "Premier Premmie" Certificate please! I've been such a good
      girl practicing the four techniques for years and years, trying to
      'reconnect myself to myself'. (If only someone would have told me sooner
      there was never anyone to be disconnected from anything in the first place
      !)  :-)
      Love ya,

      Ho! I 'recieved' the 'knowledge' 1972. Went to India - Premnagar
      Ashram. Didn't experience anything in the knowledge session. Had many
      fantastic experiences before and after though.

      Lived in premie houses in Portland, Oregon. Married a premie. Left the
      DLM after about 4 years. Decided that if fatso was going to save the
      world, he could do it on his own. :-)

      Yah, the whole you gotta get reconnected to god trip is something,
      ain't it? heeheeha! They are still selling that here and there. :-)

      In case you haven't found it there is a support web site for
      ex-premies - www.expremie.org - lots of bitter and angry folks on that
      forum! Whooee! There is also lots of good behind the scenes
      information on Rawat, the history of DLM and more.

      As soon as I can get some cheap labor I will have your certificate
      printed. ;-)

      Loveya - Michael

      > (Gary)
      > Sounds like you've been through it. I hope you are finding some
      > healing on this list.

      O well, the same as many and not as much as some.
      When people communicate with kindness, it is always healing to everyone
      listening. Whatever the words, the intention within communciation is ALWAYS
      loud and clear.


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