Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Thursday June 21

Expand Messages
  • andrew macnab
    ________________________________________________________________________ global warming press release - 2094 Earth Standard Year Indianachicagopolis, United
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 22, 2001

      global warming press release - 2094 Earth Standard Year
      Indianachicagopolis, United States of Canamerixo, Earth:Milky Way
      (subsector: 43.5.778.42.42,*&^)

      to: "Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy" update committee

      Kind sirs,

      As per your requirements, we are informing you of an event that will
      occur within the next 1,000 years (at approximately Earth Standard
      Year 2525), so as to meet the deadline for your next scheduled update
      of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".

      As we noted on page 1,536,784,657,884 of the table of contents of the
      current version of your Guide there is a single page devoted to the
      entire Milky Way (page number: 9,453,123,939,124,546,157,654,958,324,
      158,456,555,171,145,954,184). When we went to that page, the entire
      write up about Earth was:

      "small blue-green planet; mostly harmless"

      and was given a 1 & 1/2 star rating out of 5 (with the annotation
      "might as well be in a coma while you visit here").

      Please consider updating this to:

      "small brown planet; extinct"

      and please change the rating to 4 stars (with the annotation: "nice
      place to get a tan and enjoy the solitude")

      Thank you kindly for your consideration

      # # #

      Jeff Rasmussen
      Spirit of Tao Te Ching

      snap crackle pop
      don't you just love the smell
      of earth burning in the morning

      Dear Nondualiteer(s):

      I read the "Global Warming: Press Release" & "Global Warming: The
      haiku:" and reacted by (please select the most appropriate answer):

      a. releasing two metric tons of cloroflorocarbons to hasten the
      expansion of the ozone hole

      b. got really pissed off at the author and wrote him self-rigtheous
      letter, which I photocopied 10,000 versions to hand out. Then, I
      realized that I'd just been responsible for killing 100s of trees to
      make the photocopies, so I burned them in an act of defiance.

      c. utter nonreaction

      d. refused to reply to this e-mail (even at a subcortical level).

      e. "spank you very much"


      Hi Jef,

      f. put the headphones back on and closed my eyes.

      but seriously, I could only do that because I had the air conditioner
      on. Otherwise, the headphones make my ears sweat, which makes them itch,
      which makes me take them off to scratch and complain. That's what I do
      best, so I figure it must be my life's work.

      Hey, we should cut down the trees on Mars, maybe that would make it
      habitable. I had a friend once (we hate each other now that I've moved
      away), who was busy raising his 4 children with a 5th on the way and no
      end in sight, where they would all live if everyone had such large
      families and he professed his faith that we would develop space travel
      in time and that there would be lots of lovely places to live. Thank
      goodness we have a lengthy guide to help us chose the right one.

      Love, Mark
      ps hey, what's that e all about? sounds kinky! Oh, wait, it's probably
      a reference to our gang. Never mind.


      i used to have a vacuum cleaner, but it had attachments so i threw
      it all away.

      <<the following nontext attachment has been deleted>>


      (Jeff again)

    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.