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Sunday, May 13

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  • umbada@ns.sympatico.ca
    GILL EARDLEY ... Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit
    Message 1 of 1 , May 15, 2001
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      GILL EARDLEY

      > ** ok, so Adam is in the garden one day and the Lord God speaks to
      > him and says, "Adam, I am going to make a companion for you, called
      > woman. She will serve you in all ways... --justthis

      Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over
      things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in
      the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was
      the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple
      who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one
      of you wanted that ability." Adam popped a cork. Jumped up and begged, "Oh, give
      that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man
      should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so
      great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it
      rip, I'd be so cool. Oh please God let it be me who you give that gift to, let
      me stand and pee, oh please........." On and on he went like an excited little
      boy (who had to pee). Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She
      told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the
      sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Adam were
      the one given the ability to stand up and pee. And so it was. And it was...well,
      good. "Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. "What's
      left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."

      __________________________________________________________________________

      GLORIA LEE

      http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,43685,00.html

      ...the art looks very flat and lithograph-y to me, no texture. No depth,
      even tho perspective is indicated, and they all have such a sameness to
      them.  Did you look at the poetry writing program? The art form that seems
      to work best (so far) with computers is music. My husband loves how he
      can compose and then have the keyboard play it. And the classical music
      pieces available online really are legitimately free. The notes are past
      copyright, and the keyboard can sound like a grand piano with sample
      sounds.

      ____________________________________________________________________________

      MICHAEL READ

      I was thinking just awhile ago how we humans are very much like
      amoebas. We tend to act and react to our environment without thinking.

      I don't know if amoebas have religion or philosophy. Ah, what if an
      amoeba started to think about its place in the vast universe. Of course
      an amoebas universe may be no larger that a drop of water. Would that
      amoeba feel terror or joyful awe for the inconcievable beauty that
      surrounded it? Who knows! :-)

      Perhaps amoebas have decided that there is a god who is controlling
      thier lives. They may even think that they are somehow created in the
      image of this god. Do you suppose that amoebas would go to war with
      each other over thier beliefs? Who knows. :-)

      Perhaps when a human comes down with amoebic dysentary it is just a
      side effect of amoebic holy wars. Then we take some medicine and wipe
      out entire microscopic civilizations. Hmmm. Would the survivors huddle
      up and call it the will of god?

      Nope, I don't see much difference between human beings and amoebic
      beings. We are born, have a dramatic life, then disappear. And a 100 or
      a 1,000 or a 1,000,000 years from now what difference will it have
      made?

      Well, please excuse all this silly chatter.

      Love yourself and take care of each other.

      Instead of punching out your 'enemy' what would be wrong with buying
      him or her a cup of tea and a biscuit instead? You ever wonder what
      wars would be like if they were not fought with guns? What if we
      'overcame' our 'enemy' with kindness and generosity instead?

      Well, there I go being silly again! :-o

      Loveya - Michael

      ...

      REALIZATION

      It's not about the 'other' guy and it's not about 'you'. It's about
      discovery of your so-called true nature. It's about finding out what
      you really are. What is that energy that keeps the heart beating and
      the lungs working? Hmmmm?

      What is life? Is it - oh I don't know - process?

      Ever wonder why we don't see pictures or statues of a pissed off
      buddha? Or see pictures of a Ramana browbeating some poor schnook just
      because he doesn't understand?

      So you had an experience of that timeless state. You know the one.
      There was no 'I' there. No sense of a 'me' there. Simple awareness and
      peace.

      So what the hell do we do when we 'come back' from that?! Like the
      insufferable fools we are we try to quantify, identify, catagorize, and
      explain it! Back to the same old same old!

      Our feeble attempts to intellectualize what the intellect can't even
      begin to understand trap us into thinking we are soooooo smart!

      Or even worse we set up shop as some sort of Self appointed teacher. I
      mean after all 'we' did it! 'We' had the 'ultimate awareness' and 'we'
      saw through to the 'big E'. Ooooooh! How Special! 'My' 'Teacher' told
      me to 'spread this Teaching'.

      You dumb bunnies would do well to get this straight - there is only One
      Truly Enlightened Being in the Entire Universe - and it isn't you!

      You and I are a freaking illusion. We are projected by the OTEBEU. If
      you think your little fanatasy life of spiritual 'truths' is the real
      deal, be sure to get your passport stamped by god so we can all know
      who you truly are.

      Well, there is a Sam Peckinpah movie on the television - 'The Wild
      Bunch'. It has more to do with realization than what passes for truth
      around this list lately. At least it (the movie) doesn't pretend to be
      anything more than what it is - a movie.

      HAHAHAHAH and HOHOHOHO!

      Peace - get a sense of humor - Michael

      ps - god made me post this cause he was busy doing everything else
      heeheehahahoo!

      _____________________________________________________________________

      JAN BARENDRECHT

      The 7 biggest lies

      1. there are no others
      Wrong - without others there wouldn't have been a "you"
      to call itself "I".

      2. when i know "who I am" i will be happy
      Wrong - you will clearly see what mess was made of life but
      then you can cope with it :)

      3. when i know "who I am" i can teach that
      Wrong - a tendency (desire) to teach isn't the same as 'ability'.

      4. what i feel as a good path is OK
      Wrong - a diseased child likes the sweetest medicine best - and
      refuses a bitter one. Still surprised there are so few jivan muktas?

      5. all paths are equally OK
      Wrong - not knowing "who I am" is a disease, one that can
      vary between incurable and mild. A path is but the specific medicine
      having provided a cure for the one teaching it. So no-path is OK <laugh>

      6. when knowing "who I am", that opens the road to moksha
      Wrong - only if apperception comes with an indescribable
      love for "that", which makes one forget nearest and dearest
      in a 'party' of love and ecstasy that will "burn itself out".

      7. knowing this and more will make happy
      Wrong - living up to it and more would have made happy.

      So the thread continues...

      BTW, no-path = "the art of consistent living" <laugh>
       
      __________________________________________________________________________

      JOHN METZGER

      Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
      "Breakfast of Champions"

      Kilgore Trout once wrote a short story which was a dialogue between two
      pieces of yeast. They were discussing the possible purposes of life as
      they ate sugar and suffocated in their own excrement. Because of their
      limited intelligence, they never came close to guessing that they were
      making champagne.

      __________________________________________________________________________

      HUR

      THE POWER OF THE PRESENCE

      Transforming Encounters With Sri Ramana Maharshi Edited by David Godman

      "Jnana is given neither from outside nor from another person. It can be
      realised by each and everyone in his own Heart. The jnana Guru of
      everyone is only the Supreme Self that is always revealing its own
      truth in every Heart through the existence-conciousness 'I am, I am.'
      The granting of true knowledge by him is initiation into jnana. The
      grace of the Guru is only that Self-awareness that is one's own true
      nature. It is the inner conciousness by which he is unceasingly
      revealing his existence. This divine upadesa is always going on
      naturally in everyone." -Sri Ramana Maharshi

      This is an excerpt from a new book by David Godman called "The Power of
      the Presence" which is about transforming encounters devotees had with
      Ramana Maharshi. The back cover asks, 'What was it like to live with
      and be guided by Sri Ramana Maharshi, one of the greatest Advaita sages
      that India ever produced?' Inside, eight devotees give their answers in
      the form of long first-person narratives. The people featured come from
      a wide variety of backgrounds and their personal stories demonstrate
      the different relationships Ramana had with the seekers who came to
      him. Most of these stories have never appeared in English before.

      "The Power of the Presence" is self-published by David Godman. It will
      not be widely avaliable in the bookstores for several months. Please
      visit <http://www.davidgodman.org> for ordering instructions.

      _____________________________________________________________________

      WHITE WOLFE

      spring morning

      golden sunlight
      dancing on spring leaves
      silver leaves
      laughing in the cool mountain breeze
      birdsong winging
      all creation into sweet harmony

      behind and within
      the noise and movement
      the beloved is awaiting
      hiding and peeking

      from beyond and beneath
      stillness and silence
      quickening the restlessness
      yearning gently urging
      all creation to a new beginning
       
      the beloved
      endlessly and without effort
      is smiling tenderly
      at you
      at me
       
      all is well on godÂ’s green earth
      all is increasingly well
       
      i love you back beloved
      thank you for first loving me
      i am truth and beauty
      i am yours beloved
      i am in love
      i am love
      i am
      .you
       
       
      mark christopher valentine

      (may 12, 2001)
       

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