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Blue Bells

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  • umbada@xx.xxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxxx.xxxxx)
    Hello. This is a digest of posts dated Friday, August 6, and sent to the Nonduality Salon mailing list. This list was established because there are often so
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 7, 1999
      Hello. This is a digest of posts dated Friday, August 6, and
      sent to the Nonduality Salon mailing list. This list was
      established because there are often so many posts to the
      Salon that a daily summary seemed appropriate.

      I'm bothering the AtOneWithJesus list with a copy of today's
      post. (And why not? My brother Rick runs it and I gave him
      the blue bell from Stella's candy vending machine back in
      '61. The blue bell meant you got your choice of any candy in
      the store). To sign up for this list, please click below:

      <a href="http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/nondualdigest">

      To join the Nonduality Salon, please click below:

      <a href="http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/nondualitysalon">

      I hope you're having a great weekend...

      still hoping for the blue bell,
      ---jerry

      _____________________________________________________________________


      I tried what I thought was going to be a very simple
      exercise in attention. The aim was to count to fifty up and
      back seven times without stopping. I was to start over each
      time I lost my attention. At first it was a real struggle.
      I anchored my attention on the task. I visualized the
      numbers in my mind clicking off like on a counter.
      Almost immediately I heard these very familiar voices in the
      background telling me that I had screwed up. Now I knew I
      hadn't. These were very familiar voices.I kept my attention
      anchored. Then it got easier after this initial onslaught
      of my "old familiar" patterns. Then I noticed I had
      switched from visual to auditory and the counting went much
      faster. At the end I noticed I didn't want to quit. :-)

      Now why did I tell you all that? Because I never would have
      even noticed those patterns had I not set an aim to perform
      the exercise. If I had just set an aim to notice my
      emotional self-defeating pattern I never would have seen
      it. Make sense?

      ---Marcia

      ______________________________________________________________________


      ...it was 1973 for me too. The world did come to an end as
      I knew it, the world of separate identities was no more, and
      there was no ever going back. I knew it was a process, but
      at that time I didn't know *what for*?? It was a
      spontaneous thing, I had no idea what I was getting into
      when I sat there one night and questioned life at a deeper
      level. I was just simply curious. :-) Ask and you shall
      receive - WHAM!! But I was totally lost in it, so I became
      a seeker. And I basically stayed that way for twenty four
      years until 1997, when I got the *second half*, like Gene
      said, the fulfillment, after the original falling away of
      separatenes. And as to why I didn't get the whole thing at
      first, I can only speculate and say that I wasn't ready, and
      looking back on it, nor could I have appreciated it. You
      can't really appreciate something unless you earn it. And
      if you can't appreciate it, it's useless. And no smart
      cracks from you wise guys about uselessness. :-) Dontcha
      love it?? :-)

      ---Judi


      _____________________________________________________________________

      Gene responds to Judi:


      How fortunate for you to know at the time that it was a
      process; for me, it was a 'death in the family', literally
      MY death, the death of my favorite 'me'.

      Separate identities... no longer existed. I was for the
      first time, boundaryless, and terrified, to say the least of
      the matter. I was... any person or even thing which seemed
      to be occuring at the time, then. Now, I look back and can
      have compassion for myself, but at the time, I ranked myself
      to be a total failure in all of the important things of
      life. 'Spiritual' issues were translated through the
      'hellfire and brimstone' version of Xtianity, and I was...
      a candidate for hell.

      Sure enough, 'satan' appeared and escorted me to hell, for
      'all of eternity'. There, I learned firsthand of the
      follies of my self and all of humanity; that 'we' are mere
      dupes, ignorant fools, filled with delusions and illusions
      of grandure, mere food for the grinders of eternal
      suffering.

      As you might imagine, this knowledge was a crushing blow to
      experience. I became totally without hope. I spent a
      virtual eternity in 'hell'; I would like to say, that aside
      from some passages in Dante's Inferno, and the imagery
      depicted in H Bosch's triptich painting 'Garden of Earthly
      Delights', that nobody can know the suffering that I had to
      endure, to be ripped-off of my assumptions as to the basic
      nature of the human Being.

      At that point of total hopelessness, Jesus Christ appeared,
      and it was apparent to me that He is real. He took my hand
      (literally) and transported me 'back' to 'this reality' for
      another chance to 'get it right'. I was highly motivated to
      NOT return to hell; I was to say the least, **totally**
      astonished that Jesus would find me and aid me in the way
      that He did.

      Now that I have the reader writhing in a veritable melange'
      of value-judgements, I should clarify that I now know that
      Jesus is... an eternal commentator on all things which
      impact humans. His gentle voice may be heard, revealing and
      telling the story of how this all works. He has informed me
      that hell is only for those that really need it, and that
      fear is the gateway to hell, and that He (Jesus) is free to
      go to any place and any time to help any person who needs
      help, whether or not that person is a 'Christian' or has
      even heard of Jesus. He further informed me that the basic
      human 'flaw' is to _decide_ or _conclude_. I learned that
      there is no such thing as 'objectivity', and have since that
      time, had to fight the (conditioned) tendency to take things
      seriously.

      I learned from Jesus that the way that He speaks, is
      designed to initiate a person who is ready, into ever-deeper
      mysteries; that in the way that He speaks, every phrase is
      like a step on a long staircase, leading up to what humans
      do not now know. In this regard, there is a place for
      faith, once a person has taken the offered help, and has
      seen that it works; that from that point, one is a fool to
      ignore what is offered. But perhaps, only one who has
      suffered as drastically as myself, can appreciate and use
      this insight. Others seem to persist in maintining that
      they can 'figure it out for themselves', and thus ignore the
      Grace (however it may come) which is the Free Ride. As you
      know, Judy, Grace is 'where it is at'.

      ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
      Judi had said:

      It was a spontaneous thing, I had no idea what I was getting
      into when I sat there one night and questioned life at a
      deeper level. I was just simply curious. :-) Ask and you
      shall receive - WHAM!! But I was totally lost in it, so I
      became a seeker. And I basically stayed that way for twenty
      four years until
      1997, when I got the *second half*, like Gene said, the
      fulfillment, after the original falling away of
      separatenes. And as to why I didn't get the whole thing at
      first, I can only speculate and say that I wasn't ready, and
      looking back on it, nor could I have appreciated it.
      You can't really appreciate something unless you earn it.
      And if you can't appreciate it, it's useless. And no smart
      cracks from you wise guys about uselessness. :-) Dontcha
      love it?? :-)


      ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

      Gene answered:

      Yes. I am a notorious 'hard case', and it took the literal
      'fires of hell' to 'scare the LIVING SHIT' out of me. It
      has taken all of these years, as you say above, to allow the
      Universe to CARRY me, and to show me the way of Grace. It
      matters not what in context... spiritual or religious or
      philosopical... the events occur, what is going on, seems
      to be the inevitable 'growing up' of a petulant and spoiled
      child, and the leaving behind of the securuity of the
      nursery, and the illusion of 'justice', and the acceptance
      of the awesome responsibility of being creator, and of then
      living in one's own creation, for better or worse.

      Now, I am just a perpetually humiliated recipient of the
      benefits of the universe. I can 'grin and bear it'; I can
      admit that I cannot do a single thing on my own. I can't
      even tie my own shoes without surrendering to Grace, and
      that is the literal truth. It may seem to some, that I live
      behind a carefully constructed bulkwork of intellectual
      fabrications, and that I have some special strength, but in
      actuality, my way of expressing is to lead to the eventual
      giving-up of any shred of assumption that I am capable of
      anything at all. I can't even make my own heart beat. What
      I can do, is to do what I do well, to show what it is that I
      cannot do, as our 'dead' friend UGK is always saying...

      Thanks, Judy. I love you, you sizzling whacko! Maybe
      someday we can meet in person, at some gigantic spiritual
      reunion of all of Us...


      _______________________________________________________________________


      You know, it's funny but I often get accused of being a
      diletantte in the way I tend to travel from group to group,
      teacher to teacher. It's all the more strange since I am
      one of the toughest critics of the type of "new age" mindset
      (esp. here in California) which drives people to flit about
      from one teaching or "path" to another without making a
      committment to any single one. At a certain level this kind
      of roaming can be symptomatic of a very superficial mind,
      someone who "uses" the Teaching for entertainment or
      socializing.

      Personally, I am careful not to do this, and simply try to
      be aware of it when it does arise in my own case. When I
      occasionally catch myself treating any path lightly or in
      the manner of a diletantte, I will reduce or stop my
      involvement until I can re-orient myself and make up my mind
      what exactly I came there for. I am also conscious of the
      egoic satisfactions that can arise out of hob-nobbing with
      too many teachers or gurus. I've had conversations with
      folks at satsangs which were little more than mutual
      recountings of teachers one has visited, sort of like a
      spiritual version of celebrity name-dropping.

      The thing with me, when you strip away this silliness, is
      that I see these teachers and their disciples as friends and
      associates that I simply enjoy spending time with. Who
      wouldn't travel long distances to sit with a good friend?
      There's really no place I'd rather be almost anytime.
      There's noplace else one can pick up such "vibes" as in a
      good satsang. I'm not chasing after anything, nor am I
      specifically looking for a teacher. I'm just a satsang
      slut.

      ---Petros

      ________________________________________________________________________
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