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ND Highlights from Saturday 17-Mar-01

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  • Beth352006@aol.com
    Blessed I am ... Jerry: Hi Ron, You write sweet words. It was good hugging that wearing out body. I know you have a
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 18, 2001
      Blessed I am

      Hi Ron,

      You write sweet words. It was good hugging that wearing
      out body. I know you have a daily physical struggles
      there in San Diego. It was good having a meal with you
      and Christiana and watching San Diego
      whiz by. I hope we can receive more of your thoughts, poetry,
      confessions. Send them freely.

      I've been trying to get in touch with Christiana by
      phone, but now I read from Gloria that she has
      been in the hospital. I hope she recovers quickly
      and gains renewal. I know how much
      you love her and I've learned much from my relationship
      with Christiana, though not all that she has to offer.

      Grateful for the Grace of your Heart breathe

      Dearest friends...

      Words will truly fail me tonight. I am home tonight from a
      journey much longer than my six day hospital stay. So
      many awesome and awful waves have lifted me and
      tumble me in these past months; and they seemed all
      to collapse on the beach at La Jolla. I couldn't listen to
      or trust one more word; one more teacher; one more
      position.. especially the ones arising from my own mind.
      Nothing felt real any more. I thought I'd stay
      away from lists and people and surrender again to solitude.

      I was surprised that my daughter's private letter was
      forwarded to this list. I don't tend to be this public with
      my personal life. Yet the river of grace which has poured
      through all of you towards me, has been
      received like guiding heart currents, as I can
      do nothing but surrender, as in John Metzger's offering
      from Carl Jung:

      > We must be able to let things happen in the psyche.
      >For us, this actually is an art of which few people know
      >anything.Consciousness is forever interfering, helping, c
      >orrecting, and negating, and never leaving the simple growth
      >of the psychic processes in peace. It would
      > be simple enough, if only simplicity were not the most
      >difficult of all things.

      The Pneumonia, which still weights heavy, will eventually
      heal; and in it's wake, I have been humbled by the fear
      of breathe; and the loss of breathe; as well as gratefully
      renewed by the living breathe you have
      offered through your open hearts with me.

      Tonight I listened to this song by Kirtana, which
      was a part of Gangaji's presence in La Jolla. It speaks
      more clearly to what I need to say. I love and thank you...


      { _this embrace_ }

      As I fall into this embrace
      I feel your arms extending into space
      While a love that will not rest
      Blows through my open chest

      And tears fall from my heart like rain
      Like liquid love pouring from the slain
      Glistening with grace,
      Christening my face

      I'll let this love carry me
      Down Stream like a petal of presad
      Uproot and ferry me
      From the heart of confusion
      To the heart of God

      Words fall from my lips but they
      All fall short of what I want to say
      They gather where it's sweet
      then surrender in defeat

      So I fall into namaste
      With this life I nearly threw away
      and say 'Use it as you will;
      The tiger keeps its kill'

      I'll let this love carry me
      Down stream like a petal of presad
      Uproot and ferry me
      From the heart of illusion
      To the heart of god

      As I fall into this embrace
      As I fall into this embrace
      As I fall into this embrace

      >>>> + <<<<
      Death and Consciousness:
      James to Terry M:

      I mostly want to clarify.

      You highlighted 'not two' and referred to a repeated error...

      - Are you saying that if we identify with anything,
      whether it is consciousness (or the body etc...)
      then we are making this error?

      - And, 'not two' includes consciousness?

      I also have a 'not two' question:

      Is consciousness dualistic?
      Is consciousness only dualistic when I say,
      "I am conscious?"

      Namaste', I especially enjoyed the poetry.

      from: I Am That, by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
      Mark Otter:
      Q How is it done?

      M: There is no "how" here. Just keep in mind the
      feeling "I am", merge in it, till your mind and feeling
      become one. By repeated attempts, you will stumble
      on the right balance of attention and affection and
      your mind will be firmly established in the t
      hought-feeling "I am". Whatever you think, say, or do,
      this sense of immutable and affectionate
      being remains as the ever present background of the mind.

      I've 'done' something similar to this.. it seems like too
      many just read about it and go onto something else...

      Or maybe it's still 'happening'... just the Beingness
      or I AMness (consciousness free of content)...
      and whatever lies beyond it, which
      thought cannot conceptualize...

      Yes, that has to be "the yoga" ... for those who
      want a practice that isn't forced, doesn't require any
      particular effort, just never forgetting 'the background'
      of Beingness...

      I can testify, after awhile it becomes 'automatic'...
      much more quickly than one would suspect.
      Something 'reverses' and then in a real sense it takes
      effort to NOT remain still. It's a bit like
      a 'rubber band' pulling awareness back to the center,
      although it may 'stray into' the contents of consciousness.

      There is no escaping freedom. There is no escaping it.
      That is the 'reversal'.
      Essay on Ego:
      Gene Poole:

      A brief essay on ego

      In response to recent letters

      As identity is compounded, so is apparent Being.

      Identity follows Being in schema and form.

      What is referred to as 'ego' is a complex functionality,
      designed to facilitate survival. As such, there is nothing
      inherently 'wrong' with ego.

      'Ego' as referred to by common speech,
      denotes a wide spectrum of concepts.

      'Egotism' does not refer to ego,
      but to immaturity. Common speech
      twists understanding.

      As a powerful aspect of Being,
      ego generates of a 'virtual' Being,
      which we can call 'identity'. The common
      'sense of self' which most everyone is
      endowed with, is the product of ego,
      it is not itself ego.

      Identity' is not ego, it is the product of ego.

      Ego is the essence of the 'immune system';
      ego differentiates between what is 'I'
      and what is 'not-I'. In this way, does ego
      act as the criteria of what food substances
      are assimilated and which are not.

      By extension, ego also differentiates what is 'me'
      from what is 'not me' on the level of identity.
      Ego creates the difference between self
      and other. As ego creates self, it also creates

      The 'virtual Being' is created by ego, it is not ego.

      Learned people, consider that ego 'exists',
      and give it some credit. Ease up on it
      and ease up on yourselves. Defining
      a natural aspect of Being as something
      to destroy, or to revile, is an act of violence
      against yourself. Please consider this.

      Consider 'ego' to be a powerful mechanism,
      which is involved in modeling the universe
      in a very special way; this way is to present
      the universe 'in relationship with' Being.

      One may object, based upon millennia-long
      mistranslation and subsequent misunderstanding,
      that 'ego' is a problem of some sort. One may
      compound, as is so commonly done, strategies
      of 'attainment' which are based upon the defeat
      of ego. One may hinge self-esteem, and also
      spiritual 'evolution', upon assumptions regarding

      Ego is not a thorn to be removed from 'something else'.
      Identity is what assumes and defines what ego 'is'.
      Identity of suffering, may fasten upon ego as a 'cause'
      of suffering, but in truth, ego is the 'cause' of survival
      of the physical body. The fight for survival is real.

      Virtual means 'might as well be real'.
      It is so real, that many people are 'fooled'
      by this persistent, self-regenerating
      virtual self. It is 'you' when you awaken
      in the morning, and it is 'you' when you
      fall asleep at night.

      Idntity is the historical 'you', which usually
      carries opinions, resentments, fears,
      hopes, and ambitions. This virtual self
      is what quests for knowledge and relief
      from suffering. But remember that this virtual
      self is the product of ego, it is not ego.

      Ego builds or models a self, and also
      models the universe, and places
      this virtual self in the virtual universe.

      The enactment of 'your life' is
      a game of dolls, and do you see
      the hand which moves the doll
      about in the doll-house of the universe?

      The doing which the doll assumes
      it is doing, is done by the hand which
      moves it about as the game is played.

      The doll is rebellious, however, and claims
      to be able to overcome its 'dollness'.

      For the doll to realize that it is a doll,
      may allow the doll to allow the hand which
      moves it in the game, to do as it will.

      Identity does not know, necessarily,
      that it is a construct, and a volatile one at that.
      Identity does not know this, but Buddha
      spoke of it; listen well:


      There is no self, no ego, no universe, no soul,
      no doer, and nothing can be done about this.

      The doll, rebellious as it is, denies Buddha.

      Buddha, doll that he is, realized his dollness,
      his 'suchness'.

      The essence of this realization is awareness
      of the volatility of all things; this means that
      all things are essentially temporary.

      Gazing at a rotting log, Buddha had this
      realization; he realized that the one who
      gazed, was itself eternal, unlike the log.

      Eternal is a funny word. As long as I exist,
      eternity is real. "I will live forever", for it is
      I who carries the criteria of what is temporary
      and what is permanent; my judgement will
      prevail, for as long as I exist.

      Liberation is liberation 'from', but the catch
      is that nothing is left after liberation;
      if liberation has 'fruits', they are not enjoyed
      by one who needs the counterpoints
      of death of death and suffering,
      to make life 'real'.

      The one who observes, observes all.

      Does self appear,
      in the field of what is observed?
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