Tuesday/Wednesday - January 9-10
- JAN BARENDRECHT
The result of some three days tinkering with graphics, HTML and text
can be seen at : <http://singularian.50megs.com/> and I hope the major
bugs are out - no "dead" links although the "job" remains under
construction..... Those preferring pictures (sometimes used in poems),
can visit <http://singularian.50megs.com/Pictures.html> From the
Canaries, and a maximum connection speed of only 45 kbps (remote rural
area), the site is rather fast...
Jan, I am stunned. Having read countless websites (all very good, of
course), I was stunned to see that these subjects can be treated so
freshly, so cleanly, so beautifully that one never as yet exposed to
these ideas before could easily feel at home.
You are to be congratulated, and thanked. I look forward to reading
every single word, and delighting in every site and sound.
MARCIA AND JAN
I have a question. Almost continually there is pressure in my
ºcrown area which feels like a pole to my throat. We have
ºtalked about this before. It also connects with the center
ºof my forehead. But my question has to do with the fact
ºthat is seems to go down my left arm and across my left
ºside. I assumed it had to do with some stuff I was doing
ºat the gym but I can't seem to 'repair' it. Sometimes
ºI worry that I may be leading up to a stroke or something.
ºBut I tend to worry about things so I let that one go as
ºmy blood pressure is great and so forth.
One might say that usually, the simplified model of energy, traveling
along the central canal, is enough. Occasionally it isn't - and then
the Chinese model with its myriad of meridians gives a much more
detailed picture. What I have noticed repeatedly, is that a meridian is
felt, going through the throat center to the physical heart and it can
lead to sensations, causing one to visit a cardiologist immediately.
And when injured, even a little, one is likely to feel the meridians
involved as well. I was reminded of that by the broken foot: the chakra
in it became painfully active. If anything, it indicates the importance
of diet and exercise, as to be able to disregard physical
malfunctioning, when such sensations occur...
ºAnother thing. This morning I felt a major shift in my
ºconsciousness where what I felt was that I understood
ºwhat The Fall was all about. The best way I can say it is
ºthat I 'realized' that it never was about anybody but me.
ºI understood this from the inside out. I was looking at
ºbetrayal and I realized that I betrayed myself. It never was
ºabout anyone else. And it goes way back prior to anything
Self-betrayal and deceit are quite common - if I remember well, it is
why I couldn't see a grown up as a role model: saying "A" but doing
"B". Thoughts have the power to realize - it cannot be overemphasized
that when saying A, "do" A, when saying B, "do B"... even when it could
be called "silly".
ºAnd last night I was sharing some time with my daughter
ºand I felt this total panic feeling. Like nothing at all was
ºreal. I kept acting okay but I realized why someone might
ºcommit suicide if they didn't know any techniques for centering
ºthemself. But then maybe it is the technique that prohibits the
Being a mother with children - this will act as a reality check,
preventing thoughts to center on suicide... For the "sentient entity",
there is a limit to everything: when that threshold is exceeded,
surrender will temporarily break down. Being an active member in a
social network, no matter how small, is one of the best ways to stay
ºAnyway I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate
ºyou and your writings. You have been most helpful.
You are much appreciated too Marcia - without questions like yours, I
would merely be gazing into nothingness :)
I have just reviewed a very interesting collection of articles on
awakening by Dave Oshana at his email archive site called:
Dave has said that probably the closest Tradition to the Realisation
that he teaches from is Advaita.
I wonder though what qualifications one has to have to be an advaitist.
Does Realisation make one unavoidably an advaitist or is being an
advaitist about certain core beliefs?
Or is Advaita just a tool and not a set philosophy?
I've been enjoying reading Sanderson Beck's writings...
SAHAJMAN AND STEPHEN
If you discover the strand, you will find the whole rope.
Sometimes one must rediscover the strand and rediscover the whole rope
and rediscover and rediscover... until one is not there anymore.
How do you know? Can you say something authentic? What is your deepest
knowing that you know to be true to your bones? Can you forget about
your saints and wisemen for a minute and refrain from repeating the
endless cliches? What is it that You know Stephen? Sorry to be so
blunt! What is it that YOU know Stephen?
in the ecstasy of nonduality
there is no sense of an individuated separate small self
that needs to make a point to the "others"
there is joy
there is play
but no attachment to being right
or being wrong
blunt or soft
teacher or student
lover or loved
(who is oh so familiar)
feels a need to assert his small self
so it can be eliminated
The lady at the checkout counter busily finshed loading my basket and
showed me the check I had written with the adjusted amount for my
acknowledgement. But I kept looking at her face, smiling I suppose. She
brought the check up to my eyes. "No, here", she said, blocking my
I said, "OK", without even looking at the check.
She lowered the check and I could see a bright shining smile on her
"Thank you", I said, smiling back at her.
A deepening chasm in the politics of separation?
deeply listening from the still point silence
unseen, unheard, the earth-people rumble
a change of tones arise
uncertainty rises at the bottom
knowing rises at the midway
awareness rises above it all
where are you, my friend?
DAVE (MANCHINE) AND MARCIA
I remember a time here in traffic. I had been advancing well in
my ability to maintain awareness. All of a sudden I saw myself cursing
someone who had cut me off. I realized that I had been torn from my
connection, and automatically in the "reconnection", perhaps in 1/4 of
a second the whole act of fingering someone was evaluated, processed
and seen for all of the infutility that it represented, not so much as
a mentally processed and meticulously evaluated phychological event,
but as a distraction from something infinitely more imprtant. The act
was so pathetically puny, I had to laugh. And to think that I let it
tear me away like that!
My rant........ :-)
For me, I could say volumes about this particular paragraph you have
written. For me, to realize that there was nothing I could do about
this stuff was everything. Nothing that I decided made any difference
because I was deciding with my head and my head was much slower than
the instinct which caused the reaction.
DAVE: Yes, I think it is very important to come to terms with ones
limitations, the body speaks, and one must listen. Stressing against
"impossibilities" only compounds the problems, buries the actual
solution even deeper. Relatively early in life I learned about a
creative intelligence (my mother would call it) where you identify a
problem and let it go for the time being, leave it up to this C/I. And
out of nowhere, bingo comes a solution.
Forcing conscious awareness consistently is not possible, it's like
remembering to tell yourself to remember. If you can't remember, you
can't remember. One the other hand the memory system has a unique
storage and recovery system, whereby memory events are stored by
association, that's why certain smells trigger momories that had long
since disappeared, and why sometimes a long lost memory flashes into
your mind for no apparent reason at all. Somewhere, a neuron was
"touched" due to activity in a certain part of the brain and out comes
This mechanism can be used to "trigger" awareness. There are excersizes
that can be done at various levels to generated triggered associations,
automatically reminding you at every turn to redirect your focus.
As I have said, I feel that awareness to "being" is more important and
effective in awakening, than digging up all the processes of
functionality of the individual body/mind complex. This latter work
must be done, but in awareness, it's more of an automatic process. Of
course it is another methodology for deepening awareness, but IMO
highly destractive and quite inifficient. Obviously Marcia, this is my
opinion, but it would be interesting to open a bit of a discussion over
This is what I take it is meant when it is said that man cannot
do. For me to see that I could do nothing about this stuff is
everything. To see that I can't do (there is no doer???) anything to
change this is the beginning of being able to change it. I have spent
years in my head saying things like..."From now on I will do.....and
everything will be okay." Even to saying that I will maintain
awareness. Awareness begins with the awareness that I can't stay aware.
It seems to me that awareness is. I am either in it or not. If I am not
in it, there is nothing I can do to get there and if I am in it, there
is nothing to be done. It is beyond my control. If I am trying to
control, I am asleep. Being awake means knowing that there is no way to
control. (I can hear someone adding... and nothing to control)
Yes again. The most important is to know and admit that it is a
problem for which YOU do not have resources in this moment.
YOU are the non-doer. Shit happens as they say. The Earth revolves
around the sun, the sea has pounded the shores since before the
dinasaurs came. What does any human "do", but decide how she wants to
see these events. Immediately, we become central, the Earth and the
Sun, "ours". YOU may not have resources in this moment, to do what?
Create some OTHER image as to what this all is? All awareness is , is
seeing THIS naked. As such, any stimulus should be a trigger! Boom,
stimulus, "something has attracted my attention", trigger, "that which
attracted my attention, in it's nakedness, is NOT what I perceive it to
be", "what is it... naked... without my, or anybodies interpretation?"
Let the "interpretation" dissolve, all personal feelings aside. The
slowness of the body mind may not catch the event until part way
through your involuntary reaction, but seeing it "naked" will just
about take the words out of your mouth or mind, as the case may be.
We are non-doers. Everything IS, and we go around thinking we can
change what it IS. Awareness is like karate. Seeing what's coming
(going on) and moving with its momentum, utilizing its momentum in the
most efficient way. If we put up a direct block (forcing our desires
upon any given actuality) we receive the full impact of a somewhat
unstoppable force. If we "deflect" (move with) a given actuality we can
use its momentum to get to a place where we are more sychronized.
the mad love song of white wolfe
wants to play a game
he wants you
to sit with him
in the heart of the midnight forest
at the center of the nighttime universe
on a bed of trackless sparkling snow
and look deeply into
the flawless mirror
of his golden eyes
you will notice
the silver river of tears
flowing from the pregnant moon
upon my cheeks
you will see
more stars than the canopy
of heaven can hold
dauncing and laughing in our eyes
we will touch
the field of immortal diamonds
brilliant and flawless as first love
shimmering in our noble and pure mind
we will know
the eternal fire that burns
dark and incandescent as empty space
in our wild and savage sacred heart
we will listen and hear
in stillness and silence
to white wolfe
whispering his mad love song
to our regal soul and holy spirit
of all that is written in on your lovely face
in words that can only be spoken by lovers
who soar with golden wings of eagles
on the eternal winds of heaven and earth
beyond the ten thousand things of tomorrow
wantS to play a game
to dance the laughing dance
to sing the tears of sorrow and joy
to fly into the pregnant moon of love
through the center of the nighttime universe
into the sacred heart of the midnight forest
and become drunk on the wine of divine love
with you and only you
as it was in the beginning
is now and ever will be
love in love with love
oh my beloved
Mark Christopher Valentine
January 10, 2001
The Art of Shapeshifting:
The art of shapeshifting is accomplished with diligence and
Study the power animals both in terms of reading (what others say of
the animal) and observation (what you see of the animal).
No animal contains evil or good properties so don't get caught up in
the uses of animal characters used to tell stories, lore, or myth. It
must be understood that the essence of understanding needs a 'good and
a bad' in order to tell the story but do not attribute good and bad
qualities to the animals.
All nature works as one, both for and against itself as it struggles
for the so-called absolute expression of truth. Shaman, in any race, is
the accomplishment of these integrated spirits into one being.
When possible capture their eyes.
Capture and integrate their essences keeping each animal distinct and
Associate the essence with a word. (I would suggest the name of the
animal)... then, using the word as a mantra, begin to image the animal.
Once you get a good mental picture begin changing your 'spirit' into
Be familiar of 'both' the 'female and male' characteristics of the
animal (as this is your own spirit and spirit is void of gender) so
that, as Bear, you are 'protector and provider'. <Note the order I said
Watch what you are.
There is no advantage to what you know. Learn it now, learn it later,
it makes no difference.
Fair enough Doc. It's not like I'm the fuzz around here, but this
doesn't have anything to do with the nondual experience.
Just trying to help.
jody, for christ sake man, 90% of the
nonsense posted to this site has nothing to do with the nondual
experience. And besides lets not make too big a deal of the NDE because
it really just isn't that big of a deal. In fact most people have had
that experience. Lot of fucking good it did them, given that the
suffering of mankind hasn't changed a lick since the begining (whenever
that was). And despite all the mystical experiences and presumed(and i
do mean presumed) enlightenment and being "free" going around, the
human race is still plunging headlong into oblivion suffering all the
while. Certainly no one on this site actually believes that the human
race is becoming more enlightened, or realized or any such malarky.
Just keep believing those fantasies about everything being just as it
should be, that it's all perfect already. At least you'll be happy when
you die.Asleep, unconscious, sufferring, but happy. Ignorance is bliss
after all. .................god, i love this shit,
Feel better now Matthew?
The world is as fucked up as it's always been. It nice to have
compassion for it, but it's pretty much gonna be the way it is. All one
can really do is help where they can, and accept what they can't
change. If you want to knock your head bloody on that wall, by all
means have at it.
Shapeshifting is subtle nonsense from the perspective of Advaita. While
Doc Hobbes might get a kick out of it, it brings no one closer to
realization. It's another Maya amplifier, like drugs or sex or
spiritual culture. It might not get in the way of realization, but it's
not going to help either.
I'm just sprouting opinions. Equally far from nondual reality, but some
are more effective than others at pointing.
The world is fucked up, but the Self can only be perfect.