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Thursday September 21

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  • andrew macnab
    Betty Barlow: Dear Jerry, I was interested in the conversation on your website about self importance and self esteem. Here are my thoughts on the subject. The
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 22, 2000
      Betty Barlow:

      Dear Jerry,
      I was interested in the conversation on your website about self importance
      and self esteem.
      Here are my thoughts on the subject.
      The spiritual path is no breeze: it is an ordeal, an insult to self
      confidence, in which our many masks are presented to us in the ruthless
      mirror of awareness. Yet as we are slowly and painfully unmasked, a self
      esteem begins to flower. This unmasking process is such anathema to the ego
      that it is well nigh impossible to go through it without the support of a
      teacher. I understand from friends who are involved with Adi Da, and from
      others who were physically close to Osho, that far from being charlatans,
      they are ( or in the case of Osho, were), such ruthless mirrors.

      A few snips from many posts by Bruce Morgen:

      Either nothing is an accident
      or everything is an accident.
      It makes no difference when
      one is truly in love -- when
      kneeling at the edge of the
      Ganges, of what relevance is
      the route taken to arrive
      there? It is time to simply
      bathe, for there is only now.


      Osho was authentic even as he
      was abundantly human, you
      dishonor his memory by going
      through rote, imitative
      motions and believing them
      to comprise an act of love.


      Let me tell you
      how it looks from here: those
      defending Osho are not really
      defending a dead man or his
      reputation, they are really
      defending their personal
      decision that Osho was "somebody
      who brings (or at least brought)
      love into the world" and was
      therefore their master and
      worthy of devotion, even when in
      the grave. In short, they are
      defending their personal
      harbored image of Osho as an
      incomparable divine being, a
      cherished memory in which they
      are emotionally invested. I've
      seen this phenomonon dozens of
      time in the nearly three decades
      during which I've come into
      contact with western bhaktas --
      they don't seem to realize that
      a true master needs no defending,
      and that their activity is really
      simply ego donning holy robes.
      That is why the wound remains
      open, it is really their own
      ongoing doubts they are fighting.


      There is no "greatest master,"
      there is only an immeasurable
      universe of universes to
      which every master points!
      Jai Acharya Rajneesh, Jai
      Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Jai
      Osho -- and Jai Lilly, for
      that which is within the
      master lives in us all!


      Forget the damned finger,
      look to where it points!


      My wound in this area, and perhaps it is
      true for a number of "us," is that Osho made good and sure that he -- and
      by extension, we -- were controversial. A great publicity device as well
      as a constant challenge for us.

      As far as the general population is concerned, that was and is fine with
      me. If they thought/think that i/we are idiots, no problem, the feeling is
      mutual. It gets trickier with friends. Usually if these judgements persist
      i write them off as worthwhile people to know/hang with. With people like
      you who seem to have a lot of intelligence and integrity and are committed
      to a deep spiritual life, the kind of rejection you have been dispensing
      requires something more.

      Exactly why is not entirely clear but i guess it has something to do with
      wanting acceptance from some intelligent peer outside the context of
      sannyas. And, now that i look at it more deeply, a hard-nosed intelligent
      peer, not just someone who accepts everyone



      Dear Bruce,

      yes, - this is how it is - forgetting that
      I was talking to myself, endlessly -
      the bumerrang came back - hit the target
      boooommmmmmm - got it!

      Thank you for holding up the mirror and not
      giving up - in this way I could feel the shame
      about my hiding behind some put up idealism -
      hiding because of not being able to follow
      my own set up of standard - putting it high enough
      so that I will never meet it and also pojecting it
      outside of myself to the greatest master in the universe!

      Good to be in this hairdressing saloon, the treatment gets
      thoroughly through!

      Thank you - it was worth it -

      Love, Lilly



      Dear Bruce!

      There is an arogance of the mind,to bring out this statement
      about teachers.When you mention Osho in This context,it hurts.
      For me he is one of the great masters and challenged a lot.
      Is the master there to make it right to the viewpoint of the
      for me,it shows,that you never deeply fall in love with a
      master.To know This feeling of oneness,also to be thrown back
      on yourselfe.
      Not knowing anything
      through love surrendering anyway.
      This for me is the real thing.
      I whish you to fall in love.




      Dear Bruce,
      What to say after this whole rap?! Yours is too long to dismantle
      every sentence as you prefer to do. It's really fatiguing this game.
      I've got your point, I don't like priests either. Maybe that's why I
      had to play out this part. What you resist, persists... (I read this
      a few mails before). It seems difficult to make my standpoint here. I
      don't like it when people like Osho who made themselves available for
      god and lived in it totally (whatever personality they used to have)
      get ridiculed for their personal weaknesses. And this has nothing to
      do with any specific master. Of course there is no need to defend the
      teaching - I agree totally with this. But to have some compassion
      with the vehicle which delivers the teaching - and to treat him like
      a human being and not to analize and dissect every movement - this is
      my concern. And of course I am really talking to myself right now.
      Thank you for giving me the possibility that I could share this.
      Much Love



      I have to ask this. Who cares if someone calls your beloved
      teacher a charlatan? I honestly can't understand why it
      would upset someone.

      I try it on. I think Jesus was one of the greatest teachers.
      It doesn't upset me if someone calls him a fake. Or
      Gurdjieff. What is it that is bothersome? If I am secure
      in my understanding and love, why would it bother
      me that someone else is a name caller?

      Seems like wasted sex energy to keep on jabbering
      about it.



      Dan Berkow:

      Hi Mark,

      Forget realization.
      It's just an idea in your mind.

      Don't even think about putting off
      realizing your own made up idea
      about what realization is.

      Yes, we impose meaning.
      Yes, imposed meaning can drop away.

      How are you supposed to have a clue
      to my meaning, when the meaning
      is the dropping away of imposed

      I would be glad to grab you and shake
      you, but you're already doing well
      enough with that yourself ;-)



      Dear Lalla,

      Reality isn't here to keep
      you from being bored.

      If explanations you've received
      bore you, perhaps it's time
      to look beyond the explanations.

      When I look into the experience
      of boredom, what I find looking
      back at me is the truth of my
      being (that I didn't want to
      be with).



      David Hodges creatively expounding on breathing:

      >As Master of Breath, what advice can you give me, to remedy this situation?
      >Thanks in advance,
      >==Gene Poole==

      Thanks for asking! Sorry it took a while for me to reply, I have been
      putting together some material on the avatar Johnny Salami for Jerry. Due
      to other circumstances, I have had to defer that effort for tomorrow.

      The in-breath, the pause, and the out-breath of course correspond to the
      Hindu trinity of Brahma, the creator (the in-breath), Vishnu, the sustainer
      (the pause between), and Shiva, the destroyer (the out-breath).

      These phases of the breath also constitute the great crystal clock of the
      Universe, beating out the rhythm of appearance, manifestation, and
      disappearance that, unperceived by most, are responsible the construction
      of "reality" by our gross physical senses. This corresponds to the crystal
      clocks that beat time for our computers. As in modern multitasking
      computers, where in the imperceptible intervals of these ticks, context
      switches occur with blinding speed, so that many programs appear to be
      running "all at once".

      Since you have noticed, oh gifted one, that your in-breaths are fewer than
      your out-breaths, it might occur to you that what is happening is that your
      perception of "reality" is getting out of phase. But fear not, these
      "missing" parts of the great clock-beat are indeed there, but in other
      contexts being switched in and out of your Display (to use your infectious

      These other contexts are complete Display fields that "seem" to be the
      reality of other persons in other times and even other places. And so, your
      missing phase might actually be part of MY context, or of you in a previous
      or future lifetime, or of some Ganymeadean slime mold somewhere far far away.

      By paying attention (which I know you are really good at doing) you might
      be able to shift phases into one of these other switched contexts and
      suddenly inhabit the perceptual field of, oh, some Olympic gymnast in the
      midst of a difficult balance beam exercise, or of a politician in the
      process of calling a reporter an asshole, or of Julius Caesar in the
      process of being assassinated. You never know.

      The method for shifting phases is known in shamanic traditions as "moving
      the assemblage point." Basically, you focus in the heart center and then,
      metaphorically, step two or three inches to the left. Easy, huh?!!!

      It used to bother me that, despite the fact that I realized that there is,
      in truth, "no self", there still seemed to be an attachment of the
      awareness masquerading as "David Hodges" to this particular bio/conscious
      unit in this particular time and place, until I realized that the context
      switching that occurs in the intervals of the breath actually provided
      enough "time" for awareness to be attached to EVERY bio/conscious unit on
      the planet, indeed in the universe, in every time and place.

      The way that reality contexts can overlay each other and bleed into one
      another has been extensively documented by the great Philip K. Dick, as in
      our mutually favored text, "Ubik".

      But I'm sure you know all this, honored sir.

      References and notes:

      "Modern Vedic Psychophysics" at http://homes.acmecity.com/friends/harmonica/301

      "Therefore they say, 'the breath is Vayu (God of the wind), seed is breath;
      seed comes into being first when man comes into existence.' In that he
      recites a triplet to Vishnu, thus he makes his breath perfect...Where
      there is expiration, there is inspiration; in that he recites a triplet to
      Indra and Vayu, thus his expiration and inspiration he makes perfect." -
      from the Aitareya Brahmana quoted by David Frawley in _Gods, Sages and
      Kings: Vedic Secrets of Ancient Civilization_.

      "We have a closed universe that forms an elongated hollow torus. Encased
      within this torus is an inner torus of protospace...our psyches, which
      contain all our knowledge, expand periodically into that space for a very
      short period of time at practically infinite velocities. The the human
      psyches form an interference pattern with psyches of all other
      consciousnesses in the universe." Itzhak Bentov, _Stalking the Wild
      Pendulum: On the Mechanics of Consciousness_

      "What appears to occur is that the identification with the body by the
      created I-dentities form an internal universe, which, like a galaxy of
      stars, planets, and cosmic dust, seem to evolve around what the I-dentities
      perceive as a Black Hole which is actually within the body. It is this
      Black Hole which is paradoxically the gateway into Essence...the Sufi
      school of the Fourth way talks of the mid-point...the gap or space that
      occurs as one emotion or thought changes into another [or as an in-breath
      changes into an out-breath]...the mid-point is what is called
      self-remembering and is where self-remembering can take place. In the work
      of G.I. Gurdjieff, attention is split at the mid-point and one can wake up
      out of the sleep of identification with a particular state of
      consciousness...this mid-point is often experienced as pure quiet -
      nothingness." Stephen Wolinksky, _The Tao of Chaos_

      Falling into the Gap,


      Gene Poole on fishing, and on vegetable gardening:

      >Celibate... is that some kind of fish?

      Yes, it is a very peculiar and rare type of fish, which are
      skillfully caught and presented to Spiritual Masters. For them, it is
      a special food, suited for their special needs.

      Of course, the Master must first teach the devotee HOW to fish (as
      you know, "Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a woman to
      fish, and she eats for a lifetime".), and the first part of teaching
      how to fish, is to instruct on how to properly set bait.

      For this phase of Spiritual Instruction, the skills of the Master
      Baiter are invaluable. Under the expert tutelage of the Master
      Baiter, the devotee learns how to bait masters.

      Perhaps that is why we see so much baiting of Masters here on NDS and
      elsewhere! Of course, it is only the devotee sharpening their hooks,
      hoping to catch The Big One.

      So the devotee presents the master with the sharpened hook, as a
      symbolic representation of intention to catch the rare celibate-fish.
      The True Master then places the bait, and the devotee proceeds to
      swallow hook, line and sinker.

      Only much, much later, does the devotee realize (that special word!)
      the true meaning of Master, coughs up the hook, and disavows the bait.

      Does this mean that Masters are bad? No, it means that The Master's
      job is to teach the devotee to realize how easy it is to be hooked,
      when appraising bait. But some devotees never get the joke, and are
      thus embittered, vowing (for the wrong reasons) to avoid all Masters,

      ==Gene Poole==

      Harsha tells a story:

      Hello everyone. I appreciate the nice comments Jerry, Michele, and Mark.
      I have a night class to teach so I will keep this brief and just share this.

      For some, the dilemma of life is how to give the very best of themselves.
      For some,
      the thought does not occur. Everything they give is only the best. Which
      reminds me of a story my Gurudev told. My teacher's father was a business
      He had a clothing shop. In India, it is common for customers to haggle over
      prices. One day when my teacher was (as a teenager) sitting with his father
      in the shop, a customer came. He wanted to bargain over some item. My
      teacher's father refused and said that the price was fixed. The customer was
      surprised. "I am willing to pay the price, but I only buy the best," said
      the customer. My teacher's father calmly replied, "Sir, everything in my
      shop is the best. I carry only the best."

      My teacher became a Jain monk at the age of 20 when his fiance passed away.
      He was the only son and his sister had passed away in childhood.
      My teacher's father was a widower and had raised his son himself.

      After my teacher became a monk, his father reflected carefully on life.
      a few months he gave away everything in the shop and joined his son in the

      Both father and son practiced together for the next 17 years, until the
      father passed away.


      Royal and Jan, love love love:

      º> ºIn the immortal words of the Beatles:
      º> º
      º> º Love, Love, Love
      º> º Love, Love, Love
      º> º Love, Love, Love
      º> º
      º> º It's easy.
      º> º
      º> º All you need is love.
      º> º All you need is love.
      º> º All you need is love, love.
      º> º
      º> º Love is all you need.
      º> It could be seen as a very sad song, because one IS Love. For the
      ºsake of argument, Love can be seen as pure white light and the "ego"
      ºis a filter, that can either be transparent (unconditional surrender)
      ºor only pass a murky brown color (you know to what I'm pointing,
      ºright?) and then there are all the shades and colors in between. A
      ºfilter can be bi-directional and this is where communication becomes
      ºimportant - to convey the idea that "one can look in the direction of
      ºthe white light always" :)
      º> The need for love always denotes the sense of separation and the
      ºsense of separation is what drives one to action (doership). Without
      ºseparation, one is perfectly happy and no initiative whatsoever will
      ºarise by itself... Now when would separation no longer be felt ?:)
      º> Love,
      º> Jan
      ºGreetings Jan,
      ºWhen one has merged with Oneness or That Which Is, which I perceive
      ºas Pure Love, then separation would no longer exist. Is not the need
      ºfor love simply the yearning toward our true essence?
      º Royal

      Of course it is but there is nothing to merge with - only the sense of separation has
      disappear and the "ego" could be called the potential for separation - when
      surrendered, there
      is no sense of separation.




      > Zen is about eating 'oneness' for lunch.

      and using 'Satsang' as a toothpick.


      > Is it important to feel strong?

      Yes, as a defense against feeling weak.

      > Why is it important or even
      > desirable to be proud,

      The same reason: a resistance against feelings.

      Words and logic are not going to change
      that, they can only point at the resistance.




      Yes, well there is no such thing as a perfect person. Heaven forbid! :-)
      That'd be no fun now would it?
      The only thing that's perfect is awareness itself. Tada!


      Mark Otter:


      I'd like to share a problem I have and see if anyone can help out. I
      think I agree with Jack Kerouac who you recently (well, in geological
      time perhaps) quoted:

      'The simplest truth in the world is beyond our reach because of its
      complete simplicity, i.e, its pure nothingness-- There are no awakeners
      and no meanings-- Even if suddenly 400 naked Nagas came solemn tromping
      over the ridge here and say to me "We have been told the Buddha was to
      be found on this mountaintop-- we have walked many countries, many
      years, to get here-- are you alone here?"-- "Yes" --"Then you are the
      Buddha" and all 400 of em prostrate and adore, and I sit suddenly
      perfectly in diamond silence-- even then, and I wouldn't be surprised
      (why be surprised?) even then I would realize that there are, there is
      no Buddha, no awakener, and there is no Meaning, no Dharma, and it is
      all the wile of Maya'

      I am in that existential state of complete failure where it all is an
      unpleasant mirage, but I can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard
      I rub my eyes (or breath). In this post of yours from almost two years
      ago, you hint that you think Jack made a sacrifice by not becoming
      realized, and that this sacrifice allowed him to help bring the Dharma
      to America. How do you feel about that argument now, and was the
      sacrifice worth it? Was it necessary? Is there a reason to put off
      realization? Is there anything to put off? Is the whole point that
      there is no sense to the universe, and we only suffer when we want to
      impose meaning on an irrational uncaring accident? (albeit a pretty one
      when we just allow it to be)


      Assuming these are Mark's remarks starting.....

      > I am in that existential state of complete failure where it all is an
      > unpleasant mirage, but I can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard
      > I rub my eyes (or breath).

      Is there any particular reason, why you expect that "the unpleasant mirage"
      should definetly be get ridden of, as far as Mark is concerned?


      >Is there a reason to put off
      > realization?

      Assuming that by the term "realization" you connote what is popularly known
      in the fashion circles, can it be put off, or brought forward?

      > Is there anything to put off?


      "Mark" cannot put off anything.

      > Is the whole point that
      > there is no sense to the universe,

      To make sense, do you mean to say there should be a purpose?
      That for something to make sense, means it should have a purpose?

      I submit for your consideration, there is none as far as phenomena is

      > and we only suffer when we want to
      > impose meaning on an irrational uncaring accident?

      We suffer, because

      A) we believe we can impose something on it, thereby grounding the
      separation of that "we" to it.
      B)That it is to be an irrational uncaring accident or that it is be an
      rational caring act of Love or whatever

      Do you Mark believe you are an irrational uncaring accident?
      Then so is your universe.
      Do you Mark beleive, you are a rational carring act of Love or whatever?
      Then so is your universe.

      Do you Mark "know" that you are neither?(and this question is really a
      Then neither is your Universe

      Neither you Mark nor your universe has any independent existence.

      So why bother, enjoy, have fun, play all the games that you want, who knows
      apperception my strike Mark any moment and hey, HEY, HEYHEY,


      As I said earlier, apologies to jump on your band-wagon with some conceptual
      two bits.

      Dobeee Dobeee Doooooo(For the ignorant, that's a dance step)

      Sandeep-the NKWBTE still searching for the nubile gopis to go Dobeeeing.


      Not wanting to feel pain, is suffering.


      Jerry Katz:

      Hi Mark,

      What I wrote on the Kerouac web page, where you got the
      above quote, was:

      "I don't know if Kerouac knew nondual perspective -- his
      literary drive and work would have put the brakes on that,
      so that was his sacrifice -- but he intuited nondual
      reality, at least, and, extraordinarily, incorporated it
      into a popular literature around which coalesced an entire

      Here's the webpage: http://www.nonduality.com/jack.htm

      On that page, Gene Poole also writes of sacrifice. The web
      page is open to further comment.

      When I read Kerouac, I hear someone who understands the
      nondual scriptures of Buddhism. That understanding melded
      with an extraordinary literary style helped to make Buddhism
      popular in the West and gave many their first taste of the
      nondual. As I see it, that's as far as he went. He could
      have gone beyond Buddhism and been a free nondualist, and in
      the passage above and in others he appears to have done so,
      but I feel he sacrificed that step in order to create a
      package for Buddhism itself, which was enough of an
      accomplishment. Whether he made that sacrifice consciously
      or not, I don't know. The fact is, it is Buddhist, not
      Hindu, Islamic, or Christian nondualism, that he had roots
      in, and that he literally spread.

      I can't say whether anything he did is worthwhile or
      necessary. He was apparently a gifted, sensitive person who
      read the Buddhist scriptures including the most nondual
      Lankavatara Sutra.

      You say: "I am in that existential state of complete failure
      where it
      all is an unpleasant mirage, but I can't seem to get rid of
      it, no matter how hard I rub my eyes (or breath)"

      I also can't say whether what your existential state as
      described is worthwhile or necessary. What it is is
      suffering, apparently.

      Suffering comes from holding an image of what is shining and
      right, and then realizing that there is either no joining
      with that image or that the image is not an adequate one.
      Maybe there is an image of the nothingness Kerouac talks
      about, a nothingness that is just beyond the mirage. If so,
      it is an image, another mirage.

      It could be said that Kerouac created exquisite mirages, a
      great castle in the sky with distinct bricks and a bridge
      leading to it. That could describe his literary work,
      everyone's work, Buddhism, and every religion. That castle
      is a seductive place. Perhaps the beauty of it is that
      somewhere within the mirage is the way out -- it is found in
      nondual teachings -- and that the way out is to see the
      mirage and to stop the mirage making.


      Andrew Macnab:

      You can't be happy all the time, it aint naturl, and
      you aren't miserable all the time. Don't tell me you are, I don't
      believe it.

      Here's something I found interesting for its approach
      to equanimity I happened on it last




      Melody Anderson:

      While I was away from the computer this evening
      I looked at this 'split' I recognized today....this
      incongruiety I'd been carrying....and could see how
      perfect it was.

      I have such a sense of it all being 'in divine order'.

      I was 'split' as a child, and have recognized for some
      time the beauty of that experience.....how perfect it
      was that one part of me 'split' away from the rest...

      only later to be reunited.

      I had the same sense today of how perfect it was
      for me to don the mask of 'invulnerability'.....as just
      one more tool (unconscious as it was) to assist me in
      my efforts to break away from 'the group mind',
      'group ethics' and to tap dancing to other people's

      It was an exercise which showed me that even though
      I may have left the 'club', the 'club' never left me.

      More importantly,
      It reminded me of what I had already discovered 10
      years ago, which was: to be vulnerable....to be totally open to
      whatever comes my way....is to move from a world
      once seen as black and white to a world full of colors.

      It's as if taste buds have returned, and I'm once again
      free to taste a full range of flavors.

      Being 'vulnerable'.....whether it's the experience of
      a broken heart, or that of lighthearted delight....is to
      be fully, gratefully, wholeheartedly alive.



      Michael Read:

      Dancing in the frying-pan of life
      With ice-cubes on my feet
      No matter how fast I dance and dive
      I am only a plate of cooked hot meat!

      Spicy and hot and ready to eat
      Season with pain and tears
      Then pickle my feet
      And serve me with beers!

      A salad on the side would be nice
      Don't forget the fresh baked bread
      Soak up some beans with rice
      Boil some cabbage and throw in my head!

      My Lover will serve you this wondrous feast
      You're invited to stay as long as you like
      There is no end to this marvelous beast
      For dessert we'll have some sausage of mike!

      Peace - been fasting too much! - Michael


      Mikhael Swan:

      pissing in the river is pissing in the river
      the fact that the river can accept your piss is not the question
      the question is can the pisser accept the pisser
      in honour and deep love to all those who drink our piss
      in order that we may accept the pisser.



      adoration is adoration is adoration.

      when society, education, history brain-washed people
      with ideas of guilt, shame, unworthiness
      two results seem to be inescapable:

      1. people need a ''Fuehrer'' to bend their knee
      # for prayers of glory, victory, enlightenment.

      2. people need an enemy to blame for all miseries.

      third way




      > With No-thing to worship, where are we?

      at home



      Percy Winner:

      It is kind of a conversation stopper to say this.

      The thing I felt as love for the master was not simply
      this cosmic love, this, this, a thousand times this.
      It was like threads of specific identities woven
      together to include all the possible human motivations
      that I could imagine.

      Humanness is what I mean. Total humanness. It was, is
      a wonder to experience in its totality what life in
      the body really means, can be, is meant to be.

      The human heart was a carrier for this

      Love to you
      I appreciate it so much to have this space to share
      these things




      Beloved Melody,

      I am touched by your words about vulnerability.

      I tried for years in the beginning of this life to fight against my
      vulnerability thinking that this is not good! (not God!) By watching
      experiencing my family I got the impression that one (mainly woman)
      should not be so vulnerable as I experienced myself to be.
      All the time I had tears as a child, my brothers pointed with a
      finger at me, laughing.

      Later I invented ( or took the common believe?) the concept of
      enlightened beings having no emotions, feelings, sentiments any more!
      So I faught my vulnerability again. Osho Rajneesh helped me a lot to
      appreciate being human and celebrating just being myself. But still
      hidden to me ( tricky the mind is!) I thought at least HE is without
      feelings, still this projection was going on unconsciously!

      Since more than 3 years I am with a beautiful, alive, vibrating,
      strong and vulnerable, Satsang teacher who invites me totally to be
      myself and mirrors every spot where I again project this crap!
      My learning here is to accept everything as God and appreciate every
      form and way as God creating it. I discover more and more the beauty
      of vulnerability.
      I heard that Ramana, when people came to him telling about their
      sufferings that he wept with them!

      This touches me. I am built so close to tears! And I enjoy it more
      and more to be touched, to feel the feelings whatever it is.

      love to you, Melody

      Jutta H.M.



      90% of the time...

      someone dreamt

      for that


      celebrating and proclaiming:

      THIS is nonduality!:

      THIS is what is meant
      By OUR Enlightenment:

      Beyond time,
      Yours and mine

      No identity,
      No paternity

      Fist raised
      Love crazed
      Mind amazed






      Ralf Wienken:

      Dear lalla,

      I certainly cannot give you answers to all your questions, and also
      not the one big answer for the one big question. Very good that you
      feel confused, very good that you feel blessed.
      I am in a similiar condition as you are - I have many questions.
      What I have found is, that all of them arise out of pain, or more
      exactly, of not wanting to feel the pain. This means, of not wanting
      to experience life fully.
      This is the mechanism behind.
      So when I have an existential question, I don't go for an answer, but
      I ask a second question: why does this question arise?
      This is the way I learn. Life gives me the questions. It is meant
      like this: resistance takes care.




      Sammy Rubinall:

      Dear Bruce

      Things are not always what they appear to be.

      Osho pushed buttons like no other
      and a sure sign that your button is getting pushed
      is when you start pointing the finger
      and I see your finger pointing!

      His wasn't about fitting in with your or my ideas
      His was about provocation
      to bring it all up into the light of day
      so it could be seen
      and his tactics....!

      yeah, the books are there
      but his gift was *Modern Zen*
      and it happened then
      Hitting people with sticks was out
      big watches and Rolls Royces
      that's what did it

      Things are not always what they appear to be.


      Sammy Rubinall



      Dear all,
      tonight sooooo much love appeared in "my" life.
      Being with the most beloved friends, feeling the
      god in front of you. This precious moments of life.

      Just seeing the living Buddha touched the eternal,
      omnipresent untouchable self. Oh, how blessed I am.
      It is a miracle again and again. Love is like
      a butterfly. Suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
      It is not possible to catch/keep it by ones will
      or intention. Enjoy it.
      In one moment it disappears like mist in the sun.

      A dear friend says to you: I love you.



      Accidentally in limbo
      Accidentally born
      Accidentally be
      Accidentally healthy
      Accidentally do stuff
      Accidentally play
      Accidentally laugh
      Accidentally love
      Accidentally understand
      Accidentally go away
      Accidentally, Accidentally, Accidentally

      Accidentally unquagmired

      *NO LIFE*

      Purposefully in limbo
      Purposefully born
      Purposefully be
      Purposefully healthy
      Purposefully do stuff
      Purposefully play
      Purposefully laugh
      Purposefully love
      Purposefully understand
      Purposefully go away
      Purposefully, Purposefully, Purposefully

      Purposefully quagmired
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