Thursday September 21
- Betty Barlow:
I was interested in the conversation on your website about self importance
and self esteem.
Here are my thoughts on the subject.
The spiritual path is no breeze: it is an ordeal, an insult to self
confidence, in which our many masks are presented to us in the ruthless
mirror of awareness. Yet as we are slowly and painfully unmasked, a self
esteem begins to flower. This unmasking process is such anathema to the ego
that it is well nigh impossible to go through it without the support of a
teacher. I understand from friends who are involved with Adi Da, and from
others who were physically close to Osho, that far from being charlatans,
they are ( or in the case of Osho, were), such ruthless mirrors.
A few snips from many posts by Bruce Morgen:
Either nothing is an accident
or everything is an accident.
It makes no difference when
one is truly in love -- when
kneeling at the edge of the
Ganges, of what relevance is
the route taken to arrive
there? It is time to simply
bathe, for there is only now.
Osho was authentic even as he
was abundantly human, you
dishonor his memory by going
through rote, imitative
motions and believing them
to comprise an act of love.
Let me tell you
how it looks from here: those
defending Osho are not really
defending a dead man or his
reputation, they are really
defending their personal
decision that Osho was "somebody
who brings (or at least brought)
love into the world" and was
therefore their master and
worthy of devotion, even when in
the grave. In short, they are
defending their personal
harbored image of Osho as an
incomparable divine being, a
cherished memory in which they
are emotionally invested. I've
seen this phenomonon dozens of
time in the nearly three decades
during which I've come into
contact with western bhaktas --
they don't seem to realize that
a true master needs no defending,
and that their activity is really
simply ego donning holy robes.
That is why the wound remains
open, it is really their own
ongoing doubts they are fighting.
There is no "greatest master,"
there is only an immeasurable
universe of universes to
which every master points!
Jai Acharya Rajneesh, Jai
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Jai
Osho -- and Jai Lilly, for
that which is within the
master lives in us all!
Forget the damned finger,
look to where it points!
My wound in this area, and perhaps it is
true for a number of "us," is that Osho made good and sure that he -- and
by extension, we -- were controversial. A great publicity device as well
as a constant challenge for us.
As far as the general population is concerned, that was and is fine with
me. If they thought/think that i/we are idiots, no problem, the feeling is
mutual. It gets trickier with friends. Usually if these judgements persist
i write them off as worthwhile people to know/hang with. With people like
you who seem to have a lot of intelligence and integrity and are committed
to a deep spiritual life, the kind of rejection you have been dispensing
requires something more.
Exactly why is not entirely clear but i guess it has something to do with
wanting acceptance from some intelligent peer outside the context of
sannyas. And, now that i look at it more deeply, a hard-nosed intelligent
peer, not just someone who accepts everyone
yes, - this is how it is - forgetting that
I was talking to myself, endlessly -
the bumerrang came back - hit the target
boooommmmmmm - got it!
Thank you for holding up the mirror and not
giving up - in this way I could feel the shame
about my hiding behind some put up idealism -
hiding because of not being able to follow
my own set up of standard - putting it high enough
so that I will never meet it and also pojecting it
outside of myself to the greatest master in the universe!
Good to be in this hairdressing saloon, the treatment gets
Thank you - it was worth it -
There is an arogance of the mind,to bring out this statement
about teachers.When you mention Osho in This context,it hurts.
For me he is one of the great masters and challenged a lot.
Is the master there to make it right to the viewpoint of the
for me,it shows,that you never deeply fall in love with a
master.To know This feeling of oneness,also to be thrown back
Not knowing anything
through love surrendering anyway.
This for me is the real thing.
I whish you to fall in love.
What to say after this whole rap?! Yours is too long to dismantle
every sentence as you prefer to do. It's really fatiguing this game.
I've got your point, I don't like priests either. Maybe that's why I
had to play out this part. What you resist, persists... (I read this
a few mails before). It seems difficult to make my standpoint here. I
don't like it when people like Osho who made themselves available for
god and lived in it totally (whatever personality they used to have)
get ridiculed for their personal weaknesses. And this has nothing to
do with any specific master. Of course there is no need to defend the
teaching - I agree totally with this. But to have some compassion
with the vehicle which delivers the teaching - and to treat him like
a human being and not to analize and dissect every movement - this is
my concern. And of course I am really talking to myself right now.
Thank you for giving me the possibility that I could share this.
I have to ask this. Who cares if someone calls your beloved
teacher a charlatan? I honestly can't understand why it
would upset someone.
I try it on. I think Jesus was one of the greatest teachers.
It doesn't upset me if someone calls him a fake. Or
Gurdjieff. What is it that is bothersome? If I am secure
in my understanding and love, why would it bother
me that someone else is a name caller?
Seems like wasted sex energy to keep on jabbering
It's just an idea in your mind.
Don't even think about putting off
realizing your own made up idea
about what realization is.
Yes, we impose meaning.
Yes, imposed meaning can drop away.
How are you supposed to have a clue
to my meaning, when the meaning
is the dropping away of imposed
I would be glad to grab you and shake
you, but you're already doing well
enough with that yourself ;-)
Reality isn't here to keep
you from being bored.
If explanations you've received
bore you, perhaps it's time
to look beyond the explanations.
When I look into the experience
of boredom, what I find looking
back at me is the truth of my
being (that I didn't want to
David Hodges creatively expounding on breathing:
>As Master of Breath, what advice can you give me, to remedy this situation?Thanks for asking! Sorry it took a while for me to reply, I have been
>Thanks in advance,
putting together some material on the avatar Johnny Salami for Jerry. Due
to other circumstances, I have had to defer that effort for tomorrow.
The in-breath, the pause, and the out-breath of course correspond to the
Hindu trinity of Brahma, the creator (the in-breath), Vishnu, the sustainer
(the pause between), and Shiva, the destroyer (the out-breath).
These phases of the breath also constitute the great crystal clock of the
Universe, beating out the rhythm of appearance, manifestation, and
disappearance that, unperceived by most, are responsible the construction
of "reality" by our gross physical senses. This corresponds to the crystal
clocks that beat time for our computers. As in modern multitasking
computers, where in the imperceptible intervals of these ticks, context
switches occur with blinding speed, so that many programs appear to be
running "all at once".
Since you have noticed, oh gifted one, that your in-breaths are fewer than
your out-breaths, it might occur to you that what is happening is that your
perception of "reality" is getting out of phase. But fear not, these
"missing" parts of the great clock-beat are indeed there, but in other
contexts being switched in and out of your Display (to use your infectious
These other contexts are complete Display fields that "seem" to be the
reality of other persons in other times and even other places. And so, your
missing phase might actually be part of MY context, or of you in a previous
or future lifetime, or of some Ganymeadean slime mold somewhere far far away.
By paying attention (which I know you are really good at doing) you might
be able to shift phases into one of these other switched contexts and
suddenly inhabit the perceptual field of, oh, some Olympic gymnast in the
midst of a difficult balance beam exercise, or of a politician in the
process of calling a reporter an asshole, or of Julius Caesar in the
process of being assassinated. You never know.
The method for shifting phases is known in shamanic traditions as "moving
the assemblage point." Basically, you focus in the heart center and then,
metaphorically, step two or three inches to the left. Easy, huh?!!!
It used to bother me that, despite the fact that I realized that there is,
in truth, "no self", there still seemed to be an attachment of the
awareness masquerading as "David Hodges" to this particular bio/conscious
unit in this particular time and place, until I realized that the context
switching that occurs in the intervals of the breath actually provided
enough "time" for awareness to be attached to EVERY bio/conscious unit on
the planet, indeed in the universe, in every time and place.
The way that reality contexts can overlay each other and bleed into one
another has been extensively documented by the great Philip K. Dick, as in
our mutually favored text, "Ubik".
But I'm sure you know all this, honored sir.
References and notes:
"Modern Vedic Psychophysics" at http://homes.acmecity.com/friends/harmonica/301
"Therefore they say, 'the breath is Vayu (God of the wind), seed is breath;
seed comes into being first when man comes into existence.' In that he
recites a triplet to Vishnu, thus he makes his breath perfect...Where
there is expiration, there is inspiration; in that he recites a triplet to
Indra and Vayu, thus his expiration and inspiration he makes perfect." -
from the Aitareya Brahmana quoted by David Frawley in _Gods, Sages and
Kings: Vedic Secrets of Ancient Civilization_.
"We have a closed universe that forms an elongated hollow torus. Encased
within this torus is an inner torus of protospace...our psyches, which
contain all our knowledge, expand periodically into that space for a very
short period of time at practically infinite velocities. The the human
psyches form an interference pattern with psyches of all other
consciousnesses in the universe." Itzhak Bentov, _Stalking the Wild
Pendulum: On the Mechanics of Consciousness_
"What appears to occur is that the identification with the body by the
created I-dentities form an internal universe, which, like a galaxy of
stars, planets, and cosmic dust, seem to evolve around what the I-dentities
perceive as a Black Hole which is actually within the body. It is this
Black Hole which is paradoxically the gateway into Essence...the Sufi
school of the Fourth way talks of the mid-point...the gap or space that
occurs as one emotion or thought changes into another [or as an in-breath
changes into an out-breath]...the mid-point is what is called
self-remembering and is where self-remembering can take place. In the work
of G.I. Gurdjieff, attention is split at the mid-point and one can wake up
out of the sleep of identification with a particular state of
consciousness...this mid-point is often experienced as pure quiet -
nothingness." Stephen Wolinksky, _The Tao of Chaos_
Falling into the Gap,
Gene Poole on fishing, and on vegetable gardening:
>Celibate... is that some kind of fish?Yes, it is a very peculiar and rare type of fish, which are
skillfully caught and presented to Spiritual Masters. For them, it is
a special food, suited for their special needs.
Of course, the Master must first teach the devotee HOW to fish (as
you know, "Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a woman to
fish, and she eats for a lifetime".), and the first part of teaching
how to fish, is to instruct on how to properly set bait.
For this phase of Spiritual Instruction, the skills of the Master
Baiter are invaluable. Under the expert tutelage of the Master
Baiter, the devotee learns how to bait masters.
Perhaps that is why we see so much baiting of Masters here on NDS and
elsewhere! Of course, it is only the devotee sharpening their hooks,
hoping to catch The Big One.
So the devotee presents the master with the sharpened hook, as a
symbolic representation of intention to catch the rare celibate-fish.
The True Master then places the bait, and the devotee proceeds to
swallow hook, line and sinker.
Only much, much later, does the devotee realize (that special word!)
the true meaning of Master, coughs up the hook, and disavows the bait.
Does this mean that Masters are bad? No, it means that The Master's
job is to teach the devotee to realize how easy it is to be hooked,
when appraising bait. But some devotees never get the joke, and are
thus embittered, vowing (for the wrong reasons) to avoid all Masters,
Harsha tells a story:
Hello everyone. I appreciate the nice comments Jerry, Michele, and Mark.
I have a night class to teach so I will keep this brief and just share this.
For some, the dilemma of life is how to give the very best of themselves.
the thought does not occur. Everything they give is only the best. Which
reminds me of a story my Gurudev told. My teacher's father was a business
He had a clothing shop. In India, it is common for customers to haggle over
prices. One day when my teacher was (as a teenager) sitting with his father
in the shop, a customer came. He wanted to bargain over some item. My
teacher's father refused and said that the price was fixed. The customer was
surprised. "I am willing to pay the price, but I only buy the best," said
the customer. My teacher's father calmly replied, "Sir, everything in my
shop is the best. I carry only the best."
My teacher became a Jain monk at the age of 20 when his fiance passed away.
He was the only son and his sister had passed away in childhood.
My teacher's father was a widower and had raised his son himself.
After my teacher became a monk, his father reflected carefully on life.
a few months he gave away everything in the shop and joined his son in the
Both father and son practiced together for the next 17 years, until the
father passed away.
Royal and Jan, love love love:
º> ºIn the immortal words of the Beatles:
º> º Love, Love, Love
º> º Love, Love, Love
º> º Love, Love, Love
º> º It's easy.
º> º All you need is love.
º> º All you need is love.
º> º All you need is love, love.
º> º Love is all you need.
º> It could be seen as a very sad song, because one IS Love. For the
ºsake of argument, Love can be seen as pure white light and the "ego"
ºis a filter, that can either be transparent (unconditional surrender)
ºor only pass a murky brown color (you know to what I'm pointing,
ºright?) and then there are all the shades and colors in between. A
ºfilter can be bi-directional and this is where communication becomes
ºimportant - to convey the idea that "one can look in the direction of
ºthe white light always" :)
º> The need for love always denotes the sense of separation and the
ºsense of separation is what drives one to action (doership). Without
ºseparation, one is perfectly happy and no initiative whatsoever will
ºarise by itself... Now when would separation no longer be felt ?:)
ºWhen one has merged with Oneness or That Which Is, which I perceive
ºas Pure Love, then separation would no longer exist. Is not the need
ºfor love simply the yearning toward our true essence?
Of course it is but there is nothing to merge with - only the sense of separation has
disappear and the "ego" could be called the potential for separation - when
is no sense of separation.
> Zen is about eating 'oneness' for lunch.and using 'Satsang' as a toothpick.
> Is it important to feel strong?Yes, as a defense against feeling weak.
> Why is it important or evenThe same reason: a resistance against feelings.
> desirable to be proud,
Words and logic are not going to change
that, they can only point at the resistance.
Yes, well there is no such thing as a perfect person. Heaven forbid! :-)
That'd be no fun now would it?
The only thing that's perfect is awareness itself. Tada!
I'd like to share a problem I have and see if anyone can help out. I
think I agree with Jack Kerouac who you recently (well, in geological
time perhaps) quoted:
'The simplest truth in the world is beyond our reach because of its
complete simplicity, i.e, its pure nothingness-- There are no awakeners
and no meanings-- Even if suddenly 400 naked Nagas came solemn tromping
over the ridge here and say to me "We have been told the Buddha was to
be found on this mountaintop-- we have walked many countries, many
years, to get here-- are you alone here?"-- "Yes" --"Then you are the
Buddha" and all 400 of em prostrate and adore, and I sit suddenly
perfectly in diamond silence-- even then, and I wouldn't be surprised
(why be surprised?) even then I would realize that there are, there is
no Buddha, no awakener, and there is no Meaning, no Dharma, and it is
all the wile of Maya'
I am in that existential state of complete failure where it all is an
unpleasant mirage, but I can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard
I rub my eyes (or breath). In this post of yours from almost two years
ago, you hint that you think Jack made a sacrifice by not becoming
realized, and that this sacrifice allowed him to help bring the Dharma
to America. How do you feel about that argument now, and was the
sacrifice worth it? Was it necessary? Is there a reason to put off
realization? Is there anything to put off? Is the whole point that
there is no sense to the universe, and we only suffer when we want to
impose meaning on an irrational uncaring accident? (albeit a pretty one
when we just allow it to be)
Assuming these are Mark's remarks starting.....
> I am in that existential state of complete failure where it all is anIs there any particular reason, why you expect that "the unpleasant mirage"
> unpleasant mirage, but I can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard
> I rub my eyes (or breath).
should definetly be get ridden of, as far as Mark is concerned?
>Is there a reason to put offAssuming that by the term "realization" you connote what is popularly known
in the fashion circles, can it be put off, or brought forward?
> Is there anything to put off?Ahaaaa
"Mark" cannot put off anything.
> Is the whole point thatTo make sense, do you mean to say there should be a purpose?
> there is no sense to the universe,
That for something to make sense, means it should have a purpose?
I submit for your consideration, there is none as far as phenomena is
> and we only suffer when we want toWe suffer, because
> impose meaning on an irrational uncaring accident?
A) we believe we can impose something on it, thereby grounding the
separation of that "we" to it.
B)That it is to be an irrational uncaring accident or that it is be an
rational caring act of Love or whatever
Do you Mark believe you are an irrational uncaring accident?
Then so is your universe.
Do you Mark beleive, you are a rational carring act of Love or whatever?
Then so is your universe.
Do you Mark "know" that you are neither?(and this question is really a
Then neither is your Universe
Neither you Mark nor your universe has any independent existence.
So why bother, enjoy, have fun, play all the games that you want, who knows
apperception my strike Mark any moment and hey, HEY, HEYHEY,
As I said earlier, apologies to jump on your band-wagon with some conceptual
Dobeee Dobeee Doooooo(For the ignorant, that's a dance step)
Sandeep-the NKWBTE still searching for the nubile gopis to go Dobeeeing.
Not wanting to feel pain, is suffering.
What I wrote on the Kerouac web page, where you got the
above quote, was:
"I don't know if Kerouac knew nondual perspective -- his
literary drive and work would have put the brakes on that,
so that was his sacrifice -- but he intuited nondual
reality, at least, and, extraordinarily, incorporated it
into a popular literature around which coalesced an entire
Here's the webpage: http://www.nonduality.com/jack.htm
On that page, Gene Poole also writes of sacrifice. The web
page is open to further comment.
When I read Kerouac, I hear someone who understands the
nondual scriptures of Buddhism. That understanding melded
with an extraordinary literary style helped to make Buddhism
popular in the West and gave many their first taste of the
nondual. As I see it, that's as far as he went. He could
have gone beyond Buddhism and been a free nondualist, and in
the passage above and in others he appears to have done so,
but I feel he sacrificed that step in order to create a
package for Buddhism itself, which was enough of an
accomplishment. Whether he made that sacrifice consciously
or not, I don't know. The fact is, it is Buddhist, not
Hindu, Islamic, or Christian nondualism, that he had roots
in, and that he literally spread.
I can't say whether anything he did is worthwhile or
necessary. He was apparently a gifted, sensitive person who
read the Buddhist scriptures including the most nondual
You say: "I am in that existential state of complete failure
all is an unpleasant mirage, but I can't seem to get rid of
it, no matter how hard I rub my eyes (or breath)"
I also can't say whether what your existential state as
described is worthwhile or necessary. What it is is
Suffering comes from holding an image of what is shining and
right, and then realizing that there is either no joining
with that image or that the image is not an adequate one.
Maybe there is an image of the nothingness Kerouac talks
about, a nothingness that is just beyond the mirage. If so,
it is an image, another mirage.
It could be said that Kerouac created exquisite mirages, a
great castle in the sky with distinct bricks and a bridge
leading to it. That could describe his literary work,
everyone's work, Buddhism, and every religion. That castle
is a seductive place. Perhaps the beauty of it is that
somewhere within the mirage is the way out -- it is found in
nondual teachings -- and that the way out is to see the
mirage and to stop the mirage making.
You can't be happy all the time, it aint naturl, and
you aren't miserable all the time. Don't tell me you are, I don't
Here's something I found interesting for its approach
to equanimity I happened on it last
While I was away from the computer this evening
I looked at this 'split' I recognized today....this
incongruiety I'd been carrying....and could see how
perfect it was.
I have such a sense of it all being 'in divine order'.
I was 'split' as a child, and have recognized for some
time the beauty of that experience.....how perfect it
was that one part of me 'split' away from the rest...
only later to be reunited.
I had the same sense today of how perfect it was
for me to don the mask of 'invulnerability'.....as just
one more tool (unconscious as it was) to assist me in
my efforts to break away from 'the group mind',
'group ethics' and to tap dancing to other people's
It was an exercise which showed me that even though
I may have left the 'club', the 'club' never left me.
It reminded me of what I had already discovered 10
years ago, which was: to be vulnerable....to be totally open to
whatever comes my way....is to move from a world
once seen as black and white to a world full of colors.
It's as if taste buds have returned, and I'm once again
free to taste a full range of flavors.
Being 'vulnerable'.....whether it's the experience of
a broken heart, or that of lighthearted delight....is to
be fully, gratefully, wholeheartedly alive.
Dancing in the frying-pan of life
With ice-cubes on my feet
No matter how fast I dance and dive
I am only a plate of cooked hot meat!
Spicy and hot and ready to eat
Season with pain and tears
Then pickle my feet
And serve me with beers!
A salad on the side would be nice
Don't forget the fresh baked bread
Soak up some beans with rice
Boil some cabbage and throw in my head!
My Lover will serve you this wondrous feast
You're invited to stay as long as you like
There is no end to this marvelous beast
For dessert we'll have some sausage of mike!
HAHAHAH and HOHOHO!
Peace - been fasting too much! - Michael
pissing in the river is pissing in the river
the fact that the river can accept your piss is not the question
the question is can the pisser accept the pisser
in honour and deep love to all those who drink our piss
in order that we may accept the pisser.
adoration is adoration is adoration.
when society, education, history brain-washed people
with ideas of guilt, shame, unworthiness
two results seem to be inescapable:
1. people need a ''Fuehrer'' to bend their knee
# for prayers of glory, victory, enlightenment.
2. people need an enemy to blame for all miseries.
> With No-thing to worship, where are we?at home
It is kind of a conversation stopper to say this.
The thing I felt as love for the master was not simply
this cosmic love, this, this, a thousand times this.
It was like threads of specific identities woven
together to include all the possible human motivations
that I could imagine.
Humanness is what I mean. Total humanness. It was, is
a wonder to experience in its totality what life in
the body really means, can be, is meant to be.
The human heart was a carrier for this
Love to you
I appreciate it so much to have this space to share
I am touched by your words about vulnerability.
I tried for years in the beginning of this life to fight against my
vulnerability thinking that this is not good! (not God!) By watching
experiencing my family I got the impression that one (mainly woman)
should not be so vulnerable as I experienced myself to be.
All the time I had tears as a child, my brothers pointed with a
finger at me, laughing.
Later I invented ( or took the common believe?) the concept of
enlightened beings having no emotions, feelings, sentiments any more!
So I faught my vulnerability again. Osho Rajneesh helped me a lot to
appreciate being human and celebrating just being myself. But still
hidden to me ( tricky the mind is!) I thought at least HE is without
feelings, still this projection was going on unconsciously!
Since more than 3 years I am with a beautiful, alive, vibrating,
strong and vulnerable, Satsang teacher who invites me totally to be
myself and mirrors every spot where I again project this crap!
My learning here is to accept everything as God and appreciate every
form and way as God creating it. I discover more and more the beauty
I heard that Ramana, when people came to him telling about their
sufferings that he wept with them!
This touches me. I am built so close to tears! And I enjoy it more
and more to be touched, to feel the feelings whatever it is.
love to you, Melody
90% of the time...
celebrating and proclaiming:
THIS is nonduality!:
THIS is what is meant
By OUR Enlightenment:
Yours and mine
I certainly cannot give you answers to all your questions, and also
not the one big answer for the one big question. Very good that you
feel confused, very good that you feel blessed.
I am in a similiar condition as you are - I have many questions.
What I have found is, that all of them arise out of pain, or more
exactly, of not wanting to feel the pain. This means, of not wanting
to experience life fully.
This is the mechanism behind.
So when I have an existential question, I don't go for an answer, but
I ask a second question: why does this question arise?
This is the way I learn. Life gives me the questions. It is meant
like this: resistance takes care.
Things are not always what they appear to be.
Osho pushed buttons like no other
and a sure sign that your button is getting pushed
is when you start pointing the finger
and I see your finger pointing!
His wasn't about fitting in with your or my ideas
His was about provocation
to bring it all up into the light of day
so it could be seen
and his tactics....!
yeah, the books are there
but his gift was *Modern Zen*
and it happened then
Hitting people with sticks was out
big watches and Rolls Royces
that's what did it
Things are not always what they appear to be.
tonight sooooo much love appeared in "my" life.
Being with the most beloved friends, feeling the
god in front of you. This precious moments of life.
Just seeing the living Buddha touched the eternal,
omnipresent untouchable self. Oh, how blessed I am.
It is a miracle again and again. Love is like
a butterfly. Suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
It is not possible to catch/keep it by ones will
or intention. Enjoy it.
In one moment it disappears like mist in the sun.
A dear friend says to you: I love you.
Accidentally in limbo
Accidentally do stuff
Accidentally go away
Accidentally, Accidentally, Accidentally
Purposefully in limbo
Purposefully do stuff
Purposefully go away
Purposefully, Purposefully, Purposefully