#4765 - Wednesday, November 21, 2012 - Editor: Jerry Katz
- #4765 - Wednesday, November 21, 2012 - Editor: Jerry KatzThe Nonduality Highlightshttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights/
Nonetheless, your hope in reading this blog, was probably that I provide you with some hope. Sadly, I think Ive failed. My story is not of one of hope; it is a story of realizing that life is workable, it is a testament to the brilliance of possibility in the present moment. What does happen when you let go of fear and hope, or at least hold them with some degree of scrutiny, is that you can work with yourself without being caught up in the shame of not meeting your expectations. And this does not create laziness. Absence of hope and fear is where we stop projecting ourselves into the past and future and can be in the thick of it, where real work, real healing, can happen. I had a therapist tell me recently that only in letting go of hoping for something to be different and being with ourselves and our ugliness, our chaos, our true experience of the world, can people expect to improve from mental illness, because ironically, letting go of this desire for escaping our present into the future actually precipitates profound change. Right here, right now. Change can only happen in the present. Some things, its best to plan for, but psychological change Im afraid that Ive found it doesnt work that way. So, what does this change process look like, in my case?
Over time, I simply allowed and gently accepted who and where I was, and then in time, after letting go of the self-directed aggression of aspiration, my heart opened, and gradually, it became apparent that more important than my desire to be an artist of significance, was to help others. When you start directly working with your sense of equanimity, of unconditional acceptance of yourself, then it just happens. Surprise! When you part the clouds, there you are, beautifully imperfect and you dont even care about your own plight, so much anymore because the focus has shifted, and its no longer all about you! And the world, theyre not perfect either, but because you no longer judge yourself so harshly, you naturally have compassion for them, thus taking healing to a higher level and moving it into the greater world. Suddenly, for me, after years of tumultuous emotions, and a few more of having none at all, I now feel something that is worth opening my heart for. And the more you open your heart, the more you leap into the abyss of not knowing how others will react or if you are going to get hurt, but the more alive and human you will become.
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