#4606 - Tuesday, May 22, 2012 - Editor: Jerry Katz
#4606 - Tuesday, May 22, 2012 - Editor: Jerry KatzThe Nonduality Highlights - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights
Resting in the Happening of this Moment: Being What You Cannot Not Be
by Joan Tollifson
Spiritual practice (the pathless path from here to here) boils down to something very simple. Being present, awake, open. Resting in the simplicity of what is. Being what we cannot not be: the happening of this moment, just as it is.
Even after all these years of meditation and awakening and writing books and holding meetings about nonduality, I still find myself sometimes seemingly not resting and opening, but instead resisting the happening of this moment and trying to run away from that primal sense of yukiness, unease, restlessness, discontent, anxiety, loneliness, depression, uncertainty, emptiness however you want to characterize it. Suddenly Im swept up in some version of the story that Im all alone in a meaningless void, that Ive ruined my life. There is the vague and disturbing sense that Im drowning in some horrible ickiness. I rush to the bookcases looking for the right spiritual book, or I turn on the TV and begin mindlessly surfing through the channels, or I get on the internet and begin reading articles about things I dont even care about. Or Im compulsively biting my fingers and I feel more and more tightly knotted up inside in a conflict between the intense desire to stop biting and the overwhelming urge to continue. I feel frozen and stuck in a painful groove that I cant escape, desperately seeking a way out.
Eventually, it occurs to me to stop trying to do (or not do) anything, to give up the search for a solution or a distraction, to simply be present, to allow everything to be just exactly as it is. Suddenly it becomes possible to completely surrender to the actuality of Here / Now, to resist nothing, not even the compulsive biting of my fingers if that is what is happening. Instantly, I feel the heart open. This is the end of grasping and seeking, the end of resisting and avoiding, the end of trying to fix myself and be somebody else, the end of trying to figure it all out or get the right conceptual map nailed down. This is not knowing anything and not needing to know. Suddenly there is no problem anymore. There is no me. There is only this undivided, spacious presence that includes everything, just as it is. Everything is okay, even fingerbiting or feelings of uneasiness or anxiety. Nothing needs to be other than how it is, and when there is complete openness to how it is, I find it is no particular way at all. Everything is moving and changing and dissolving. There is a huge sense of relief. The problem was imaginary.
And really, this is all there is to it. It all boils down to the simplicity of what is. Being here now, being present, being awake, simply being.
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