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Tuesday, August 29

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  • umbada@ns.sympatico.ca
    HARSHA After coming back to town this afternoon and scanning the e-mails on Advaitin, I discovered that our friend and brother Sri Frank Maiello will be
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 31, 2000

      After coming back to town this afternoon and scanning the
      e-mails on Advaitin, I discovered that our friend and
      brother Sri Frank Maiello will be somewhat limiting his
      internet contributions to the Advaitin list due to certain
      conditions of the body. Sri Frankji had told us before in
      some posts of the horrific pain he has experienced at
      times, but many were not aware and did not suspect the
      extent of it. This is particularly so because there is a
      wonderful quality of reasoning, wisdom, and acceptance in
      Frank's posts. And Sri Frankji, always with the purest
      intent and awareness and gestures of profound love, points
      at the highest Truth.

      Frank is a brother devotee of the Sage of Arunachala and
      holds a special place in my heart. I love Frank dearly even
      though we have never physically met. Some time ago, Frankji
      told me of a video tape he had of Sri Ramana and offered to
      send it to me from Florida where he resides. He said I
      could watch it as many times as I liked and then could send
      it back at my convenience. I was moved by the gesture and
      at first was reluctant to accept such a precious gift which
      is so dear to my brother Frank. I also did not wish it to
      be lost in the mail or anything as well. Finally, I
      accepted the gift. You can imagine my delight to find the
      video tape in my mailbox a few days later with a beautiful
      handwritten line from Frank.

      Well, how I watched the documentary video on the Sage
      Ramana with rapt attention many times over again with tears
      in my eyes and thought of Sri Frank's kindness and

      I pray that Sri Frankji's suffering and pain and that of
      his wife at seeing him suffer be minimized. We send our
      love. I know others join me in this prayer as well.

      Frankji, you are always in our heart, forever.

      For those who do not know this modern day sage and the
      leading exponent of clear and radical nondualism, the
      following URL will take you there. You will see there Sri
      Frankji's face glowing with light. There is also a picture
      of Sri Frankji with his beautiful wife.

      Love to all Harsha




      I don't see boredom as connected with fear so much as a
      manifestation of the typical dualistic human condition.
      Boredom is a perceptual state in which reality is excluded
      entirely, because thought is so busy comparing it to the
      dead past and the fictional/hypothetical future -- and
      finding it wanting on both counts, of course -- that the
      actual moment, the one and only abode of the truly sacred,
      is buried in comparative activity and the accompanying
      resentment and wishfulness. I won't say that this is
      somehow "worse" or more important to look into than fear,
      but it is surely more prevalent in the human psyche, a more
      frequent form of our species' suffering. I agree with that
      reptile-brain fear, the visceral perception of physical
      peril, is enlivening, rightful, and pretty much unavoidable
      -- fear of the psychological ilk is another matter, it is
      self-inflicted suffering and in that it is at least
      somewhat akin to boredom.



      Boredom is a signal
      that an entity wants
      something, 'entertainment',
      and isn't getting it.

      Beneath boredom is pain,
      the pain of feeling
      something is needing
      to be had.

      Boredom is a gift, a
      direct present from
      Awareness, saying
      "be," "look here,"
      "open here".

      Entertainment also is
      a gift, saying
      "be," "open here,"
      "look here".

      Beyond boredom and entertainment
      is the ending of the entity
      that seeks to end one
      with the other, and to
      keep the other going
      to avoid the first.

      The end of the entity is
      more than a gift of Awareness,
      it is only Awareness,
      saying nothing.



      When boredom becomes more interesting to me than whatever
      phenomenon is lurking about, I realize "I'm over it." ...
      the phenon, that is.



      What I am taking away (well, one of the sound bites at any
      rate) is that there is work to be done when there is work
      to be done and that there is surrender when the time is
      right for surrender. To wait too long to surrender is to
      cling to the ego, and to surrender too soon is to abdicate
      one's responsibilities to learn to live well. It is not an
      easy task to know which one is doing (at least I am not
      finding it easy). It looks to me as though there is a good
      deal of learning how to live to be done, and then there is
      surrendering to the truth that one has learned those things
      and voila, here one IS.


      Don't think I don't appreciate the show of support. I just
      want to take it the step further. I want to taste who I am.

      Am I alone in thinking that there should be some relief at
      some point? Frankly, ego deaths suck big time. I feel very
      ready to kill. Very capable of genocide. Very willing to
      fuck you over big time. waah. This is the door I hold open.
      please come in before my strength fails. accept me as I am,
      for I am nothing else. nothing at all.



      Hey, sweetheart, you are love. That's all. Ego death only
      feels shitty for a little while. 'Sides, it ain't death.
      It's life.

      Man, are you gonna be chagrined! {:-| Doh!

      I would tell you to 'hang in there' but tis better to let
      go! YEAAaaaaaa!

      Q: What is awakening? A: Knowing that everything IS. Q: Why
      can't I do it. A: Because you have a 'me'. Q: If I no
      longer have a 'me', will I awaken. A: If there is no 'me',
      who wants to awaken?

      Smiling Kindly Here

      Peace - Michael


      Some of Dan Berkow's writings have been compiled to create
      a couple of web pages. Please see

      Thanks to Larry Biddinger and Gloria Lee for their
      involvement in putting this together, and, oh yeah, to Dan
      for writing the stuff! It is only a sampling of his
      prodigious output. You'll also find much of Greg Goode's
      writing in this compilation.

      Jerry Katz



      POU: One only has to look at what creates the spiritual
      search in us. To find an escape route out. We start seeking
      Indian Guru's, Western mystic's, meditations in the attempt
      to get free of it all. If one is happy in the first place
      who would bother searching for wholeness?

      JUDI: Curiosity. That's how it all started for me back in
      1973. I knew nothing of meditation, spirituality, or any of
      that. I was what you would call just a happy camper. But
      one evening while enjoying the company of good friends I
      got to wondering, what is this all about, of what meaning
      is any of this? And the answer that came overwhelmed me,
      terrified me actually. I saw how separate identity was a
      farce, how everything was just a process. I was lifted out
      of the world as I knew it. I fell back against the wall
      totally overwhelmed not knowing what to make of it. My
      friends could see that something was going on with me and
      asked me if I was ok. I couldn't speak of it, because I was
      on a totally different level of understanding, but I
      managed to get out "I'm ok". I didn't speak of it with
      them, there was nothing I could say, I was rendered
      speechless. The only thing at the time I could relate it
      to, was Jesus, and thinking to myself, 'this is what Jesus
      was no doubt talking about.' And where did that leave me?
      And then thinking about what happened to him, to say the
      least, I wasn't too enthused. And that's how it all started
      for me. Knock and the doors shall open.



      Kia Ora Judi,

      Just thank you. Your wit, your super sharp intelligence,
      your beauty, well I find it divine in its entirety. I know
      it's too late, but you can't say I never told you! I think
      you are the Queen of the Queens.

      The American sense of humour that all of you guys express,
      along with your magical sincerity is such a reality shift
      for me after working in the English and German psyche's. A
      whole different kettle of fish!

      Thank you again,

      Much love




      Dear All

      Kia Ora

      I need to unsubscribe tonight to the egroup due to needing
      to go and work in Germany for a week. These last few days
      it has been so wonderful to experience the American point
      of view - the American humour and the American sense of
      fun. Last but no least, the auntenticity of people that I
      have read on this NDS group. It has been immensely
      enriching and I thank everyone for simply just sharing
      their heartfelt response.

      It is in deep gratitiude... , that you have provided this
      wonderful space ; this 'slaughter house of love' and all
      those who work within it.




      MARK O.: Am I alone in thinking that there should be some
      relief at some point?

      No. :-) Pisser isn't it? :-) Can you say 'slaughterhouse'?
      Aha! Surprise, surprise, 'eh? :-) It becomes like
      witnessing your own death, up close and personal. Ah, Mark
      was such a nice kid too. Poor, poor Mark. Boy, he really
      hung in there didn't he? :-) We'll all miss him. :-)

      Listen, I'm gonna be off line for a while, I'm moving out
      of state, leaving today. You got Michael and Bruce always
      knows how to get in touch with me.

      "You're in good hands."

      I love you, Judi


      Communication is a challenge isn't it? :-) You seem to me
      to be trying to find the 'right' way to be at all times.
      Like there is a method that will work. To me, being isn't
      something that you do.

      About the sales experience, I was truly interested in what
      variables went to make me feel so identified and nuts. I am
      usually much more grounded and aware. The fact that I made
      myself sick was very interesting to me. But I don't see it
      as a problem to be solved.

      I do see that we have lost the manual on how to develop a
      soul. I don't see that I have one as yet. I have one in the
      making. As long as I think that I am the human/body/
      machine, I will never be able to operate it. So soul
      development and being able to operate the machine go
      together. As long as I think that I am the human/body/
      machine, I think that I can operate it. As I see that I not
      only can't operate it, I am also not it, I begin to get a
      feel for how the thing works.

      And in response to Robert, I suspect at some point, it may
      become possible to program the machine to what Xan calls
      habits of mind. Like alarm clocks to wake me up.
      Programming the machine and soul development are not the
      same thing although they most likely go hand in hand.



      Kia Ora all

      The fact that this 'machine' the human programming, that is
      programmed explicitness by the interpersonal handing down
      of 'shame' from generation to generation.

      One only has to look at what creates the spiritual search
      in us. To find an escape route out. We start seeking Indian
      Guru's, Western mystic's, meditations in the attempt to get
      free of it all. If one is happy in the first place who
      would bother searching for wholeness?

      The endless covert and overt suggestions given either
      through tactile, sound, or sight go directly into the
      unconscious of the child. We as you know, are literally
      programmed by Mr. and Mrs. God our personal
      hypnotherapist's. We take on board the belief systems of
      those we most trust and love.. our parents..

      The child is literally a programmed download of the
      parental and family/ Whanau. We grow up thinking believing
      ... I'm my own deciding being... Thinking man/woman. I'm
      and individual.. I'm me..

      We carry these beleif systems to our various guru's and
      Mystic claiming there useful purpose was to bring me to the
      Slaughter house of love where the Master say's "give me all
      your concepts of who you think you are, and what this is
      all about"

      Gurdjieff created such exquisite exercises in the field of
      attention to de hypnotize the spell of the individuals and
      or the group .Moving out of know reference points! here the
      importance of structure is required I sure yoiu are well

      Rajneesh and other created the same process in their way.
      Rajneesh love Gurdjieff.His wrok has been a giantic
      contribution in the work in Consciouness.

      In fact all Master's if their are worth their salt, the
      soul purpose of their work is break the spell.

      One only has to look into the workings of the German fairy
      tales.. they are tools to break spell.

      The work is about the spell breaking of conventional, rigid
      consciousness. It is true, our ego personality likes to
      occasionally entertain the concept of its own demise, but
      in truth it is terrified and scared of the sacred.

      The interesting thing about being 'spell bound' is that
      when a person is spell bound they know how to lift it, but
      they cannot lift it. The person who is to lift the
      'spellbounding' does not know how it is to be lifted, but
      through spontaneous action creates the action deemed
      necessary that is required to break the spell.

      And break what?

      The continuous identification with the idea 'I am the body'
      'I am the mind' 'I am my feelings' 'I am my thoughts' 'I am
      my emotions'.. Into 'Iam"... and last but not lest.. I'm
      not responsibly for my actions! for I enlightened now. This
      last creation of resistance is for most the hardess to
      break. It is the piercing of the side of Christ on the
      Cross here the emotional body is opened.. to bleed on to
      the earth to bring the emotional body into the work of
      compassion after awakening..It is the growth of coming back
      to the world or sorrow to feel it and not deny what is God
      is human form feeling and resisting his or her own

      To be against anything means I'm connected right there at
      that point..Where I like it or not.. And by being connected
      to it a negitive charge of attention is created and one is
      fixated by this view point. In others words, as a resited
      creation that was intented to be expereinced.

      All the work is to free up attention so you as
      'Consciouness' can decide where you/ I want to place it and
      direct attention.

      Until a very developed enlightment has occured and that
      rare.. attention invariably gets caught up. Heaps of people
      who have had incredible deep enlightend realisations, still
      get caught up in greed, pride and shame. from time to time.
      I'm on of them

      Love Pou



      AZIZ: "What is really the Soul? Yes, it is Me, the I that
      is directly recognized in the heart and that embraces all
      of our being. It is the unique taste of Me, the child of
      the Beloved. The experience of the Soul is one of bliss,
      fullness and warmth. To feel the Soul is to be touched by
      the Beloved. It is an experience of the celestial realm;
      the realm of purity, beauty, kindness and love. The inner
      stillness of our being seems like a natural state, but it
      is not what I am. I am something much more subtle. The Soul
      is not the I Am. The I Am is impersonal and universal. The
      Soul is absolutely personal. It dwells within the Heart,
      but awakens through the I Am. It is the Soul that everyone
      possess, but that is so rarely seen. This is amazing. Not
      to see the Absolute can be understood, for it is a secret
      dimension in some way; but not to see the Soul? Not to see
      our true identity? It seems like an irony. The Soul is not
      just the Heart. She is within the Heart. She is what is Me
      within the heart. It is so simple and so subtle at the same
      time." http://www.azizkristof.org/SiteMap.html

      JOHN DUFF:

      It's kind of fuzzy to me. I certainly get Aziz's mixture of
      head and heart and the necessity of including both to help
      facilitate (I might say 'true', but I'll say 'better')
      communication. It is characteristic of what I had looked at
      when I visited his site. I have a favorable impression of
      his work overall, though not enough spare time to digest
      all that he is offering.

      There is a certain precision I have become accustomed to in
      communication around these matters. For instance, the term
      'to understand something on a practical level' to me means
      to have experienced the topic under discussion personally.
      This has to do with 'verification' as *the* basis for
      *understanding*. Approaching a subject, temporal or
      ethereal, in this way creates understanding that is wholly
      your own, that is, it is internal (to you) and not
      dependent on something outside of one's self. Understanding
      is a very, very important word with me and has very
      specific implications and definitions.

      This process of personal verification is not something that
      can be done abstractly. It is a very real, immediate,
      personal, intimate if not often a seemingly exceedingly
      tedious and repetitive business. Involving the highest and
      lowest (all, eventually) parts of ourselves. It must be
      done as honestly and with as much sincerity as one can
      muster towards one's self and one's aim for undertaking
      such an inquiry in the first place.

      As a result, we Gurdjeffians appear to be slow learners,
      but what we know, we have discovered from ourselves. This
      is why we often talk about ourselves and our observations
      of ourselves. There are a variety of reasons for this, but
      one primary one is that *you* are the only thing *you* can
      be sure of (experientially). Our internal world is the only
      thing that is *real* about us.

      We see imagination as an enemy ... always waiting in the
      wings ready to insinuate itself in place of true experience
      and true understanding. This is not to say imagination is
      not a useful tool *in its proper place*, but not as a
      substitute for personal, practical experience. Many, many,
      many people do not know the difference between the two.

      What Aziz speaks of here may indeed be true for him - and
      may be objectively true - I am not in a position to debate
      this. It is not true for me, because my sense of I, my
      awareness, has not directly experienced my soul, or my
      spirit for that matter. Can I accept that such a structure
      as mentioned here exists? If I understand that by accepting
      this view (Aziz's) of how things are - I can be sure I
      never will experience it - because *imagination* informs me
      that I know this already, doesn't everybody know this? If I
      have not sincerely attempted and put forth the effort to
      experience my soul, put my sense of 'I' in it, and learned,
      for myself, whether this is possible or not, *it is just
      speculation*, empty talk.

      Consider people from a Gurdjieff background as being from
      Missouri - big time. (If you don't understand the cultural
      reference we're polite, well maybe some of us aren't polite
      - skeptics.)

      Now, if I read Aziz's comments, and I notice that his words
      have an effect on me, some sort of energy, some sort of
      emotional impact, and I become aware of this process, and
      have some control of my attention and what is going within
      me. If I try to use my awareness to follow this inflowing
      process 'upstream' as it were, within me, accepting and
      acknowledging the energy as the Grace it is and being with
      and experiencing it, but moving my awareness upstream as
      much as it is possible for me, then I might begin to learn
      something about myself that has personal value.

      "Know Thyself." Inscription over the entrance to the Temple
      at Delphi

      "Nothing too much." The other inscription at Delphi - still
      plays well as a koan.



      MARCIA: I have a question. I have been pondering what it
      means to not let the left hand know what the right hand is
      doing. In this context, I see the left hand as day to day
      ordinary consciousness and the right hand the silence you
      address in your post; The I Am. How I experience it is this
      left hand (personality, the machine as John Duff puts it)
      just runs and if pointed in the right direction, it does a
      pretty good job. "Hello, how are you? Do you want butter on
      your toast or just jam?" It just gets into trouble when it
      tries to take over. Good servant but terrible master. But
      you can't let it know that it isn't the master. That is
      where the trouble starts. The real master, the left hand,
      is silent. But then what is the right hand doing? Does it
      work for the Good? This is where I believe there is more to
      this game than the mere recognition that who I Am is not
      the left hand. Does this make sense? Speak to me. :-)

      GENE: Marcia, in your capacity for pondering details, have
      you looked into the 'theory of hermispherical dominance',
      which is stated to be what is responsible for 'handedness'?

      According to (certain people, among them neurological
      scientists), our 'wholistic consciousness' is the product
      of the interplay of the right and left hemispheres of the
      brain, which itself is conducted through the 'corpus
      collosum, the bundle of fibres which connect those

      It is stated that the left hemisphere is equated with
      'intellect' and the right with 'feeling'; in your own
      parlance, that would be 'head' and 'heart'.

      Between these spheres there is an ongoing conversation, and
      in that conversation, there is one who is 'dominant' and
      one who is 'passive'. The left or 'male' aspect is usually
      the 'dominant' one, thus the prevalence of
      'right-handedness' among humans; the right, 'feeling',
      'heart' aspect is seen to be 'passive' or 'female'.

      In this ongoing conversation (between thrusting Siva and
      receptive Sakti) is the kernel of our personal and
      collective 'realities'; and neither aspect can rest, as
      long as the other is moving. If Sakti moves away, Siva must
      follow, and if Siva moves, Sakti must move away. This
      brings to mind the 'Tai Chi' symbol, the Yang always
      chasing the Yin, into which the Yang longs to plunge for
      the extinguishment of its ardor, finally to rest. And the
      Yin is ever reaching for the light of Yang, yet always
      retreating from it. It is the nature of each aspect to both
      remain pure, and to long for union, at the same time.

      And who is the one who sees all of this? This one can
      observe, but can observe only what is inside of that one. I
      offer that there is nothing outside of that one, and that
      if that one perceives an 'outside', that it is right
      looking at left, or left looking at right. It is Day
      looking at night, as night eternally recedes before the
      onslaught of day; and it is night looking at day, fleeing
      that stark light which would excite darkness to boil away
      into nothingness.

      You are the child of Siva and Sakti; those two, when
      interacting, create a third: One plus one make three. And
      as that third, you exist in the realm which is a blending
      of those two, which is (in physical corollary) analogous to
      the tissues which connect the left and right hemispheres,
      the 'corpus collusum'. You are the product of the
      conversation between those two, and you embody both
      aspects, Being both pursues and retreats, pursues that
      which retreats and retreats from that which pursues.

      If you draw an 'X', you can visualize the X as the
      intersection between four squares; the X is the detail of
      their points touching. Stepping back, we can see that the
      four squares are themselves one larger square, arrayed like
      a 'diamond', points up and down and left and right, and
      projecting further, we see this square to be a cube. This
      diamond is poised, balanced on a point, and is blessedly
      unstable; it is this blessed instability which is our
      exquisite sensitivity, our ability to respond, and also our
      vulnerability to 'tipping over'. Woe be unto that one, who
      seeks refuge in the stability of resting on the flat side
      of nature.

      Our movement is the rapid spinning of this cube on its
      point-axis, glittering reflection of moving rotating facets
      appearing to be a sphere; and our conversations are the
      interaction of those jewels, connected through this net,
      each apparent sphere a living node, jewels balanced at the
      intersections, the whole net alive, yet in itself
      nonliving, without each precious jewel-node. Our concern
      for each-other, is our need to manifest a complete array of
      nodes, thus to make the web whole and complete.

      Wave after wave of influence sweep our net, each spinning
      node swaying in response, and then regaining balance; wave
      after wave of neuropeptides sweep the brain, each synapse
      firing and then regaining poise, ready for the next wave,
      and the next, and the next. As the child of Siva and Sakti,
      you are able to move to the left (away) and the right
      (toward), and then to regain poise; you 'have' both
      aversion and desire, and in that dynamic, are able to
      negotiate whatever comes as each wave.

      This complex net, this cubed intersection of many
      glittering points, appears of itself as a moving object of
      three dimensions; within this large invisible non-living
      net, at each intersection, the sway and spin each node, and
      in their interrelationships, describe a movement which
      gives the impression of a body of flesh; together,
      corporate and apparently corporeal. It is easy to imagine
      this as a moving body of colloidal (gelatinous) protoplasm,
      but more difficult to imagine it Being arrayed on the
      ancient bones of its own experience. So arrayed, it is able
      to step out of our model, and take its place as a whole
      participant in this ongoing Grand Ball. As it does so, it
      imagines a Grand Ballroom, and reaches for the hand of the
      Other Ideal Dancer.

      Crystalline bone structure memory-crystal replicates and
      transmits, with each shock, as a piezoelectric transducer,
      and many such transmissions equal the corporate
      wave-structure of the world-dream specific to our
      species-dream ballroom; we dance, poised dynamically, as
      wave after wave of neuropeptides wash through the air, our
      projected orchestration, and we imagine a Great Conductor
      waving a Baton Of Causality. This is the music of the
      spheres, the joy of the spinning cubes, a gift of life,
      without which, dead cubes rest on flat sides, inert and

      Left and right, left and right, left and right we go;
      toward and away, up and down, sometimes directly and
      sometimes indirectly, lines and circles, seldom pausing, in
      a broth of passion, breathing the vapors which are boiled
      from the densities of momentary union, and this is fine,
      this is 'just how it is'.

      Each spinning cube, itself an 'X', compounded as the net of
      jewels, moving as a corporate entity, is itself the Grand
      Soul which we seek, but which We are, and none is greater,
      and only All is This One, resting lightly on this skeleton
      of crystalline experience, transmitting our corporate
      experience as the attractive pheromone which materializes
      the Other Ideal Dancer, which of course is the Other, our
      fate and destiny of union, for this is our purpose, to be
      alive and dance, and to be competent, and to thus prove in
      our mating ritual that our individual cubes themselves, our
      very genes, are themselves competent, for a competent whole
      is representative of competent parts; and in this dance, is
      spoken and enacted the two voices, the active and passive,
      the pursuit and fleeing of Siva and Sakti, and in this
      dance of negotiation is the negotiated union which gave you
      the existence which you are; your parents danced, as did
      theirs, and this dance is the intersection of every 'X',
      the meeting of the up and down, left and right, in and out.
      See X?

      Seeing is Exceeding,

      ==Gene Poole




      So what is it like to drown in the ocean after your ship

      Up and down,
      mostly I have to work,
      moving my arms to stay up
      just after the wave passes.
      Otherwise, I taste salt.
      Up and then way down,
      into the taste of salt.
      I head into the waves,
      to avoid the taste of salt.
      I watch the waves like a hawk
      to avoid the taste of salt.
      I hold my breath just when the wave
      passes, so I can avoid the taste of salt.
      Now and then
      in spite of my care,
      I taste the salt.
      Treading water until I tire,
      I wonder if the taste of salt
      is what finally causes one to give up and drown...
      No, I suppose it is more complex than that.
      Crucifiction finally kills when the Christ is exhausted.
      I suppose this is true here as well.
      It's all about breath,
      and yet what I fear is the taste of salt.
      Oh yeah, so I am near this death,
      I am something special...
      I hear your praise,
      and I wonder how it would
      be to taste the final salt.
      15 feet from the shore,
      I fear the taste of salt.
      I cannot breath with this fear
      I cannot taste anything anymore.
      The whistle blows
      and I remember the taste of salt.
      I walk onto shore with the obedience
      of a good beach dog.
      I spit out the taste of salt and
      wonder what it is to breath.
      I have no idea about death.

      I am far too frightened of the taste of salt.


      The Holy Fire

      I seek only the Beloved, she who is truly Alive
      My chaste heart can be content with no other.
      I desire to be one with one whose longing
      is so perfect she feels she is burning to death

      I search for the Beloved whose Mystic Body is a Red Rose

      In the darkness, the emptiness before time
      In the formless, the vastness outside space
      She it is who was begotten in calm deep waters
      of the First Passion on the original night of love.

      I search for the Beloved whose Mystic Mind is a White Rose.

      In the brilliance, the fullness after time
      In the unfolding, the dreaming inside space
      She it is, who conceives in the calm deep waters
      of pure consciousness, bears me and gives me life.

      I search for the Beloved whose Mystic Heart is a Blue Rose

      In midst of the dawning, the becoming of Something
      In midst of the dusking, the returning to Nothing
      She it is who will be, whose smoldering eyes are a mirror,
      Will gaze upon me that I may know myself as I am.

      I search for the Beloved who is the Rose without Thorns

      I will gaze upon her and see myself for the first time
      It will be me, whose electric eyes will shatter her,
      In the middle of the night, the fullness of Nothing
      In middle of the day, the emptiness of Something.

      I search for the Beloved whose Mystic Heart is a Blue Rose

      I will find her who will gave me life and lost me,
      who drifts silently on the calm deep waters, she it is
      I dream of inside space as I am unfolding myself
      and with whom I will bring the brilliance to completion

      I search for the Beloved whose Mystic Mind is a White Rose

      Ours will be the Last Passion on the final night of love
      She will recall she was begotten by me in calm deep waters
      while dreaming inside space, in the unfolding
      at the still center of time, in the brilliance.

      I search for the Beloved whose Mystic Body is a Red Rose.

      I am he who desires to be not two but one with she
      whose perfect longing is burning us into white ashes
      She whose pure heart can be content with no other.
      She patiently awaits the arrival of her lost Lover.

      I search for the Beloved who is The Rose without Thorns

      I seek only the Beloved, she who is fully Awake
      My Sacred Heart will accept no one but the Other
      I seek only the Beloved, she who is truly Alive,
      Her Sacred Heart will accept no one but the Lover.
      I seek only the Beloved, she who does not slumber.
      She who is free of dream and profane webs of obsession.
      I seek only the Beloved, she who burns, as I burn, in Holy
      She who would be swept, higher and higher, hand in hand,
      body against body, lips against lips in an Immortal and
      Sacred Kiss
      into the love of Love, into Love enfolding Forever into Love
      without limit.

      I search for the Fragrant Aspect of She who is the Mystic

      For long I have seen her likeness in the Image of Mary.
      Now I meditate upon a refection in the Mirror of Mirabei.
      Looking into Mira’s eyes I have learned Secret Wisdom.
      The Lover seeking the Beloved I am and would be, I am not.
      I am the Beloved gazing upon and reflecting the Beloved.
      I who am one, am two, both Lover and Beloved, sweet paradox.
      She, who is neither one nor two, is me. We, together, are
      Without the Lover meditating upon the Beloved there is no
      Without the Beloved meditating upon the Lover there is no

      Until you understand this, you are less than a shadow in

      Hail Mary, Blessed Mirror of our Silver Sorrow,
      Sacred Heart of Jesus, Golden Chalice and Vessel of Love,
      Beloved and Lover of all that is seen and unseen, known and
      Divine Bride and Bridegroom, Bridegroom and Bride Divine,
      Pray for us shadows suffering in the fire of your Divine

      Mark Christopher Valentine
      (August 29, 2000)


      We are the Nonduality Generation.
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