#4375 - Tuesday, September 20, 2011 - Editor: Jerry Katz
- #4375 - Tuesday, September 20, 2011 - Editor: Jerry Katz
The Nonduality Highlights - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlightsAnother outstanding interview from John LeKay's Nonduality Magazine.
- NANCY DOLIN
- Interview with non duality magazine. September 18th 2011
In this interview with non duality magazine Nancy Dolin speaks about her spontaneous and sudden awakening that transpired after having some telephone communications with a British non-dual teacher/communicator named Tony Parsons. Nancy lives in Los Angeles.
NDM: How has this realization changed you, the realization that you mentioned earlier on about not having a sense of a separate person being there?
Nancy: How has this changed the illusory me? The question itself does not compute. There is no me to change. But let's pretend for a moment there really is a "me" that can change, because that is the story we illusory individuals desire to know.
Life now is a strange paradoxical puzzle for the individual. There is the conditioned way of approaching life as if the individual is real and then the inspection of how that approach no longer computes. Sometimes it's confusing. Sometimes it's amusing. Sometimes it's heartbreaking.
There have been moments since October in which the individual disappears again. It's as if the sense of the whole body is gone, and what is left is just the sensation of the bottoms of the feet touching the ground. In those moments there is absolutely no desperation to seek and that all is whole, complete, and fine just as it is. But when the individual appears to return, there is a stark contrast to that, and it is shocking. And so some of the heartbreak comes in seeing how within the equation of individuality, desperation will always arise. The individual may have moments of peace and wholeness, but desperation will return--desperation to be someone, to be filled up, to not be empty space.
Sometimes this realization is dealt with lightly, but other times when the desperation intensifies, the pain of it is hard to take. There is a longing for the disappearance to be permanent so that this desperation will cease at last. And perhaps that will happen.
And so the apparent change happening to no one appearing through me is a new kind of confusion. It's not the confusion of the past where there was lack of mental clarity. In fact it is more a confusion arising because there is so much mental clarity, of seeing the illusion and yet identifying with it too. There are still beliefs the individual holds about what she thinks will make her happy, and at the same time, there is a knowing these beliefs are total bullshit for there is no one that can be made happy. That is what makes things confusing.
It appears right now that much is continually being integrated, and so confusion will arise in the midst of it. That's the way it is.
Read the entire interview here: