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HIGHLIGHTS of Monday, July 17,2000

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  • Gloria Lee
    MICHAEL Subject: Diamond Hill Just back to the cottage from the retreat. Having no qualities to call my own, this is offered from the Avadhut Gita: Verse 56.
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 19, 2000
      MICHAEL
      Subject: Diamond Hill


      Just back to the cottage from the retreat. Having no qualities
      to call my own, this is offered from the Avadhut Gita:

      Verse 56.

      Why do you weep, O mind? Why do you cry?
      Take the attitude: "I am the Self!"
      O dear one, go beyond the many;
      Drink the supreme nectar of Unity!

      ----------------------------

      Dear friends,

      You are the Self.
      Rejoice or be quiet.
      You are the Self.

      Peace - Michael

      ______________________________________________

      MARK replies:

      > Why do you weep, O mind?

      I weep with joy and relief and because my tears are ocean also.

      > Why do you cry?

      I cry to see the trembling beauty of a man who can reach down into the
      vast ocean of suffering and bring up peices of his pain and show us how
      they sprout wings as he feels them and lets them go. Sri, Sri, Sri
      Michael.do

      >
      > Take the attitude: "I am the Self!"

      Take an attitude, any attitude... It's a card trick until it is no
      longer a card trick, it becomes magic,

      >
      > O dear one, go beyond the many;

      Oh, sweetie pie, do this, but also stay here in the many. It's the same
      thing, but with flavor.

      >
      > Drink the supreme nectar of Unity!

      May I give you all a glass of juice?

      Thank you Michael and everyone. I am so happy. so happy.
      love, Mark
      ________________________________________________


      Beloved friends and companions,

      love feels good. let go and feel it. then recognize that everyone
      likes to feel it. go give it away and notice further that it's the
      giving that makes it feel good. then realize that if you want others to
      feel good, you have to receive so they can give.that feels good too!
      both are important. then wake up to the fullness of giving and receiving
      are not two. just one.

      such a lovely path. it's challenging because it feels SO good. that's a
      GOOD thing if you don't take it personally...

      he means it when he says
      love, Mark
      ~~~~~~~~~
      > in Love, there is no ambition.

      Sure there is. I have the ambition to break through your seed coat, so
      you can SWIM in this stuff!!!! matthew, don't be afraid of it. It's
      warm and gushy and it hurts a lot. but the warmth and the bliss... oh
      my. Marcia and Judi are saying the same thing but they both insist on
      their particular wording. forget words. just love. love is it's own
      reason, and it's an unreasonable kind of reason. yay. now BLEED on me!
      I need watering daily. (hee, hee, hee)
      ____________________________________________


      Hi Gene (no pun intended),

      The gathering was very nice. I've got my own personal dj spinning
      records in my head as I bask in the afterglow...

      Midnight Oil: It all comes crashing in on me tonight...This is the end
      of the beginning of the OUTBREAK OF LOVE, outbreak of love.

      The Beatles: Play the game existence till the end... Of the Beginning...

      Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers: WAKE UP! (to the realization that we
      are one...)

      Louis Armstrong: I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do...
      They're really saying I love you, and I think to myself, what a
      wonderful world...

      The Grateful Dead: Strangers stopping strangers just to shake their
      hands... Everybody's playing in the heart of gold band, heart of gold
      band...

      We danced together all weekend, and it was fine.

      Love, Mark
      ________________________________________________


      I knew it, you dented the world!
      Felt it from here! :-)

      You even filled the moon!

      And the bullfrog croaks.

      ....imagine that!
      And ALL for the same price!

      Don't ya just love it!!!!

      Manchine
      __________________________________________

      It was----
      Nothing!!!
      but such a much of Nothing!!!
      To see and talk in real space with strangers whom you
      know intimately in cyberspace......
      i plunked myself down at the kitchen table and almost never
      left it, as tempted as this bookworm was to peruse all the
      interesting books that folks brought
      more anon love, nora
      _______________________________________________

      Hi gang,

      I feel a poem coming on (kinda like an epileptic fit. I hope it's a
      good fit.)


      Why hullabaloo over frogs?

      What's all this fuss about teachers?
      What's all this fuss about love?
      Why seek nonduality?
      Why look inside, or down, or above?

      When you get something out of this discourse,
      Give it away as fast as you can
      Don't give it back, give it forward
      Give it again and again and again

      Give it with love's subtle flavors
      Give it with mustard and jam
      Give it with mince pie and tofu
      Give it with plum flavored ham

      When you think that you've gotten the message
      Run as fast as your fat feet can run
      Cause the message is trapped in a bottle
      And you should be out in the sun

      To receive divine radiation
      Is surely a wonderful thing
      Since it causes such groovy mutations
      And who knows just what that will bring?

      Well, I'm fucking tired of this poem
      So I'm going to draw to a close
      But first I will try to warn you
      To alway stand nearby a hose

      Cause if the flame from my hand
      Should come near
      Your candle-like skin would explode
      Exposing your dark inner fear

      That you might after all,
      Probably in fact
      Almost surely
      Overeact

      To the finding that there's no frog at all.

      Fuck ya's all, I hate you,
      Mark

      ~~~~~~~
      funny. i like it up to the point where I started questioning if i liked
      it and i dislike it from there on.

      caveat emptor,
      Mark
      ____________________________________________________________

      MELODY and MARK

      Dear Melody (and I mean that one too.),

      I'm going to cut and paste this lovely post into a different order so I
      can respond to it... well, I don't know why, it just feels right.

      Melody Anderson wrote:


      Melody: But if you're willing, I'd like to continue looking at
      'me' through 'you' .... as time permits.

      Mark: oh my,yes... and we can take our time. I so often feel rushed
      about this, but that is silly of me.

      > Hi Mark,
      >
      > After letting your post sit with me for a day, I particularly
      > struck by these parts of your sharing I respond to below,
      > because I see 'me' so much in these words from 'you':

      mmmmm... and vice versa. kinda neat, huh? it's neat when what I see in
      you makes me feel loving kindness and I then notice that the person
      feeling that is me. it's also neat when what I see in you makes me feel
      the various defenses I have and I can notice that and say "What's up
      with that?" (or in Michael's beautiful and helpful words "Who am I
      kidding?")

      >Mark had written:
      > > The "love, mark" thing is the only thing I ever say here. If I
      > share
      > > some personal story about unfolding (or folding back up for that
      > > matter), it's my attempt (well, maybe once in a blue moon it's not
      > so
      > > much an attempt as a guided sharing), but mainly it's my attempt to
      > > connect. People complain about the use of the word love because it
      > > doesn't connect people, but why doesn't it connect people? because
      > they
      > > perceive it as not connecting people. If one demeans the word and
      > > actively forbids the meaning to be present, of course it won't be
      > there.
      > > That's the free will. If I say it, but I don't mean it, sure I can
      >
      > > cover it over with the overuse, but am I doing that? Can you tell?
      > Do
      > > you allow the word to have no meaning by your treatment of it as an
      > > incoming message. Oh, I've heard that one before... How will you
      > treat
      > > the word when it comes from someone who really means it?
      >
      >
      >Melody:
      > As I hear what you're saying here, you say 'love, Mark' as
      > your way of connecting to people.

      No, I say love, Mark because everything I say is my way of connecting to
      people (not always effective perhaps, but always intended in some way or
      other) "love, Mark" grounds me, something I need sometimes as my words
      fly me around, lift me up like the strings of the puppet that I am,
      sometimes pull me into dangerous airs, where I lose my balance. It
      grounds me so that I can connect safely. It reminds me of the intent
      most of the time, giving me time before I send the email to see if it
      sits comfortably in my chest. Now that I see that (and I haven't until
      this moment), I will try to hold that near so that I use it more
      effectively.

      >
      >
      > If I understand what you're saying, I truly do believe you
      > 'mean it', but the question arises,
      >
      > Why do you want to connect to people?
      >
      > What's the payoff?

      Payoff? Connection is all there is. why would i want anything else?
      the connection is already there. I want to remove my obstructions so
      that I can enjoy it all the time. Now, I enjoy it so intensely when
      it's clear that I am dizzy and clumsy, and I miss it so strongly when I
      allow the curtain to drop that I rant and rave and rend my clothing.
      (sorry, not trying to use the poetry as a shield, just running with the
      feeling.) I see this leveling as I clear the crap out, so that it's all
      real sweet and just right.

      >
      >
      > Why does it matter if someone believes you 'love them',
      > or not?

      Well, I project onto someone's words of disbelief my own disbelief,
      which I find unpleasant. I see that the projection is the painful
      thing, but I presume (I dare to presume...) that if someone doesn't
      believe my words of love, that they are suffering from a similar
      projector (the movie theater companies had them mass produced) and that
      they are therefore suffering in some way. I would like for there to be
      no suffering. I think it's silly and I think it all arises from
      witholding our love from each other and I am incredibly aware today of
      how much I love the connection when I find it because I found so much of
      it this weekend, and I have just looked around since, and seen so much
      anger and unhappiness about disconnections. It was fascinating and a
      bit depressing to look into the eyes of people on the ferry the night I
      came back home. I connected with almost all of the very young children
      and very nicely with one man who was also enjoying the children and
      slightly with several others, but I saw a large amount of what looked to
      me like distrust on the part of the vast majority of the people I looked
      at. It was stunning. I sat awhile in crosslegged posture with my
      sandals off, as the seats are quite deep, and one woman clearly
      announced with her looks that she did not trust me and was going to
      watch me like a hawk in case I came near her two lovely children. I
      don't believe that this was my projection. I was just sitting there
      observing. It was so nice. I usually would see this person and either
      get up and go away real quick or sit and get angry at her. I didn't
      have any of that. I just felt my heart open at the magnitude of this
      societal/human race agreement to fear each other and to stay away. It
      is so hard to get close to anyone without a long introduction (which of
      course this list provided those of us who were at the retreat, and the
      rest of us as well, also of course...)
      Wow. thanks for asking the question. I clearly had a lot on my mind
      about this. I want connection because it feels like it's somehow right
      and healthy and that the norm of wariness is very ill.

      >
      >
      >Melody:
      > Sunlight is reflected by a lake.
      >
      > Does the sun INTEND to be reflected by the lake?
      >
      > Does the lake INTEND to reflect the sun?
      >
      > And yet the two are connected....you can
      > see the sun in the lake....because both the
      > sky and the lake are clear enough....are both
      > free of cloudiness.....that they can touch one another.
      >
      > Yet here we are, you and I, Mark....INTENDING
      > to share and connect with one another, and
      > giving a damn whether anything reflects our 'love'
      > or not.
      >

      Mmmmmm.... It's a very poetic metaphor, but I think that one must be
      careful how deeply one trusts metaphors. Metaphors are always
      incomplete. If they were a complete description of what they describe
      they would be what they describe itself. (okay, guys, go nuts with the
      nonduality babble about this one... I stand by it. well, not to close to
      it, but pretty close...) The metaphor of the mirror for the love of God
      (I like that, but use nonduality if you like that word better) is that
      real mirrors are meant to reflect but not absorb light. (a perfect real
      mirror reflects completely and absorbs nothing.) (I love that sentence.
      It makes no sense at all, and yet it makes perfect sense to me, thereby
      proving my theory that I am not rational) I think the idea that a
      perfect loving being totally reflects all that is around is completely
      correct and useful. This does NOT imply that a perfect loving being
      totally fails to absorb all of that light. Just the reverse. Perfect
      reflection is perfect absorption because there is no duality. So one of
      the main themes of the weekend was investigating giving and receiving.
      The weekend worked very well because most are accomplished at both
      giving and receiving. I don't think any of us were perfect at either,
      but I know I am not, as I perceive myself, so I am comfortable with the
      idea that I was projecting all of that. Nonetheless, when I went to
      give, it gave me the most pleasure when my gift was accepted, and most
      of my gifts were lovingly accepted and those that were declined were by
      and large declined lovingly as well. Now that is a sweet weekend.
      Nonetheless, the gift of receiving gracefully that was given to me so
      many times was eye opening for me and I see that my own giving is
      compromised by my imperfect receiving. I truly believe that perfect
      giving is also perfect receiving. Not keeping, but receiving. Ah, but
      this is a detour into my stuff, and not to the point. The point is that
      we do care about our giving and receiving. I think that's a good
      thing. If we feel they are imperfect, and we care, we will do what we
      can to change that. Yes, feeling that they are imperfect is the problem,
      and as we dismantle that, the giving and receiving will become flowing
      and natural and will make us happier than we are (than I am) right now.
      Hmmmm...
      thank you for the question.

      >Melody:
      > I realize that for me.....when I feel the need
      > or desire to 'connect'.....I am wanting to get
      > OUT of myself....to escape what I'm currently
      > experiencing......which, in my case, is generally
      > a kind of depression, a sense of being 'small'
      > or empty.

      There are two directions to go here, either of which may move you into a
      space you like better (golly, there are an infinite variety of
      directions, but I can describe two). You can take the physicists
      view... (what's that you say, I almost heard it with my ears...) bear
      with me. The universe is a big place, yes? (actually, it's REALLY big,
      but don't worry about the numbers, I'll include them on the formula page
      on the big test...) And when you really listen to what the astronomers
      say, it's almost COMPLETELY empty. Really. Huge tracts of vacuum.
      It's like God is trying to scare off some predator.......... you've seen
      those lizards that are actually fairly small, but they can puff up their
      faces to look big and mean? (do humans do that much?) Anyway, empty
      is actually completely big. Go explore this sometime. No really, sit
      and picture empty and just be that. be empty. let go of thoughts and
      see what happens. You'll never know if you don't try, and I promise it
      won't hurt you. much. well, okay, it won't hurt me. That's all i ever
      talk about. me. notice yet?

      Another way to go is to ask to whom do you want to connect? In my case,
      it's ME!!!! (sorta proves my previous hypothesis that all I ever talk
      about is me...) But why not sit and go inside and ask if there is
      anyone in there? Is there? You can't be depressed if you are doing
      serious inquiry. It's too interesting. It's slippery and frustrating
      and completely impossible until you realize you are always doing it and
      that that is exactly what life is, and then life is so interesting and
      fun, you will never worry about feeling small again, because you are too
      busy puffing yourself up to deal with that predator. oops that's a
      secret, or was until now.

      >Melody:
      > I realize that in this 'smallness', I am looking
      > to be fed.....looking to 'eat' or 'drink' somebody
      > in ....and to be made to feel 'fuller'.

      Ram Dass (Richard Alpert) tried to annoy his guru Neem Karoli Baba by
      repeatedly asking how to become enlightened. To his credit, Maharishi
      was consistent with his answer. He said "feed people" This is what I
      think he meant. It's the giving/reflecting thing all over again. (Not
      only do I never do anything but say love, Mark, which of course would be
      more honest without the comma, but I never say it differently either.
      how dull Mark is... )
      Oh well, Maharishi was consistent too. I should be so steady... He also
      meant to feed people with food. with everything that people need to
      eat. We are the food, the hunger, and the offered plate.

      >
      >Melody:
      > I wonder if it is similar with you.

      Yes, it is. I am always begging for this food, on the street, in my
      apartment, in all my humanity. in my divinity, i am always eating it and
      always radiating it. it goes around and around, always in new ways,
      always delicious. Even this starvation - just a new flavor. pretty
      spicy, huh? I love spicy food - an aquired taste.

      >
      >Melody:
      > I'm not suggesting that this 'connecting' I
      > do is wrong in anyway. Quite the contrary. It
      > is perfect. I'm only suggesting that we do this
      > 'sharing' and 'connecting' wide awake....

      I agree. It is so lovely.

      >
      >Melody:
      > to do what we're doing, until we're finished doing
      > it.......until we're ready or willing to completely
      > be eaten by the emptiness (in my case),
      >
      > and by whatever this 'connecting' might save YOU
      > from experiencing.
      >

      Completely eaten is it. Offered completely and accepted completely. We
      see it only one way so often.

      "we" - such a trickster that word.

      >
      > My computer time is short these days, and if you're
      > going to the retreat, yours will likely be as well.
      >
      >
      > Melody
      >

      yes, I do spend more time doing this than the rules allow. but I'm not
      sure I care for rules anymore.

      Love, Mark
      well, there it is. I didn't really change the order much at all. See
      how I am continually wrong? yum
      ___________________________________________________________

      MARK and MANCHINE on "Coming Home"

      Hi Mark,

      Sounds like it was an excellent time!


      > Mark wrote:
      >
      > It was fascinating and a
      > bit depressing to look into the eyes of people on the ferry the night I
      > came back home. I connected with almost all of the very young children
      > and very nicely with one man who was also enjoying the children and
      > slightly with several others, but I saw a large amount of what looked to
      > me like distrust on the part of the vast majority of the people I looked
      > at. It was stunning. I sat awhile in crosslegged posture with my
      > sandals off, as the seats are quite deep, and one woman clearly
      > announced with her looks that she did not trust me and was going to
      > watch me like a hawk in case I came near her two lovely children. I
      > don't believe that this was my projection. I was just sitting there
      > observing. It was so nice. I usually would see this person and either
      > get up and go away real quick or sit and get angry at her. I didn't
      > have any of that. I just felt my heart open at the magnitude of this
      > societal/human race agreement to fear each other and to stay away. It
      > is so hard to get close to anyone without a long introduction (which of
      > course this list provided those of us who were at the retreat, and the
      > rest of us as well, also of course...)

      There are just sooooo many that don't understand.
      That is the hardest, and yet most rewarding
      part of it all. Don't you think?

      If only that mother had the same thing in her that you did....
      But she does. She just doesn't know it yet.

      It's so special to be with people like at the retreat.
      It's like a charging of the batteries, but that ability
      to connect with whichever person is really no different.

      The heart, and knowledge will get you anywhere (that you want to go)
      Because after all you know them better than they do.

      They are your projection.

      And you are HIS.

      Much Love,
      dave
      _______________________________________________________

      Reply to Digest from CATHY Boucher
      >
      > > Subject: Re: What do you mean "I love you"
      >
      Marcia
      But....one of my favorite things that de Mello says is....Happiness
      is uncaused. There is a subtle distinction here; one worth investigating and
      pondering. Love is not reasonable. It is not dependent on something else.
      There is no reason for Love. There is also no reason not for Love.

      --------------------------------
      Mathew:
      in Love, there is no ambition.

      Cathy:
      Love is identical to Being. This is beyond ambition, emotion or choice. Love is
      who we are

      _______________________________________________________________

      MARCIA and JUDI

      Marcia Paul wrote:
      >
      > You it occurred to me yesterday that there is
      > more than one definition of seeking. There is
      > seeking to find something; perhaps a going
      > inward and outward in search of something.
      > And there is a seeking to express or share that
      > something. Personally I don't feel like I am
      > looking for something. I am fine just exactly
      > how I am. I already found it. :-) I seek to
      > share it
      >and I take it personally if it is not
      > appreciated.
      >
      ****** So, you're trying to tell us that you're enlightened
      and you want to fill us all in? I see. :-) Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. :-)
      No, please, permit me if you will. You are seeking attention.
      Whether it be from another or directly from God Almighty Himself it's
      all the same thing. And when you don't get that *attention* you suffer.
      Seeking attention, be it from others, or from expereince, mundane
      or from *on-high*. In order to let something go,
      you have to see it first, become concsious of it. That's the whole deal
      with Gurdjieff and his teaching of *intentional suffering*. You got to
      dig if you ever hope to get beyond suffering separateness. And it's
      the avoidance of this fear, this fear of suffering, this rejection, this
      something awful, that you don't want to really see, but you know deep
      down is there, and you keep it hidden, even from yourself. And your life
      becomes built around and is noting but the avoidance of this fear. Well
      Gurdjieff says, go into this fear - intentionally!! It's also been
      called the "Core Wound". See how your whole life and your whole identity
      as a separate individual is being built on and around the avoidance of
      it. STOP! Now, as my girlfriend in Texas says, :-) ,you're gonna
      come, either in the front seat with your bare feet up on the dash with
      the air
      conditioner vents pointed on you, and your fav tunes on the radio, or
      you can come chained and drug from the back bumper, your choice, but
      either way you're gonna come. God is the driver of this Cadillac car.
      This is how you realize nonduality Marcia, is by
      getting to the bottom of what separateness really is. This is
      enlightenment.
      This is God. This is your birthright. This is the promised land.
      Freedom.
      And this is my position. I recommend it!


      >
      > In certain types, yes. Perhaps the morose and gloomy
      > types.
      >
      ******* No, if you're morose and gloomy, you're nowhere even near close.
      This is an intelligent clear headed process, buck up girl! :-) Get on
      that pony and ride! This is a happy affair! Ok, fine then, one kleenex.
      But save it for after,
      cause you're gonna be crying happy tears!!!

      --
      Happy Days,
      Judi
      __________________________________________________________
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