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Highlights for Monday May 22nd

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  • andrew macnab
    Message 1 of 1 , May 23, 2000

      There is beauty in the range of manifestation we all are, but also beauty
      in the profound truth that we aren't at all.

      ***** We aren't at all what?

      That which we *think* we are. That is, while you are Judi and I am Jody, we
      are Self. Judi, Jody, Tim, and all the rest are a funny little sitcom on
      Mother's Broadcast Network. There is beauty in the parts "we" play, and the
      roles Mother has fashioned for "us". But there is also a beauty in the
      understanding that those parts aren't us, that from a certain experiential
      perspective they don't exist at all. That we are not the actors nor the roles
      we appear to play, just the silent silence that imbues it all.


      ...The Inuit have 200 words for snow. They have a word for snow
      that really describes the sky as snow is forming, and a word
      for snow that describes its quality when it is melting and
      evaporating back into air.

      Evaporation is like the death, the deep sleep of snow. That
      is a state of all-aliveness and union. Snowflake formation
      is like life or the awakening from the deep sleep of snow.
      It is a state of separation, identification.

      Reality is water in whatever form. Water is all that
      matters; it's all that's real. None of its forms stands for
      a greater truth than another, because any one of its forms
      is 100% water. Water is a universal symbol for Truth. Now
      I'm only 75% water. That's because I'm 25% bad ass as can


      To me, events are like the corns of sand on the beach - no one
      is the same as the other, yet all are corns of sand. When only
      a sandcastle is seen it is called "experience" but when the
      corns can be seen as the smallest building blocks, events are
      arising and subsiding. In the course of events, the ocean will
      flatten out any sandcastle :)

      A useful analogy, Jan. The teacher is this Ocean.
      The student is a sandcastle, and as the
      sand disperses, is all grains of sand,
      then none in particular.

      The teaching is clarity, for those
      who have 'eyes to see', not made of sand.

      Enjoying sleep, the Sandman cometh -- to build castles
      of sand, shrines to accumulations of experience,
      halls to house 'survivors' continuing themselves
      as best they can. Sand to form
      hierarchies of experiencers in religion, politics,
      entertainment and popular culture -- to build cities of
      religiously accumulated wealth and position, cathedrals of
      knowledge, and images that "immortalize" experiences and
      the imagined and required collective and individual
      "one who must be there" experiencing. So much energy
      put into so many versions of the castle of sand,
      so many versions of the castle floating in the air.



      In the relative there is potential. In the versus there is power. If
      there is one and one, there is two; between those two there is power,
      potential. Of that power, is birthed the third.

      The third is the one. This one that is the third, is the invisible
      'holy ghost' or spirit; this represents consciousness, awareness,
      mind. It is this invisible third which is of so much contention here
      and elsewhere.

      The third is the unmanifest; it is potential, and it always is
      speaking to us. It is the voice of possibility; it is the possibility
      of the conversion of power into presence. This third, invisible, is
      the imagined component called 'soul'; it is our constant companion,
      our goad, and our muse.

      The potential of the third is the uncreate; it is a palpable force in
      the lives of everyone. It is our bridge, our gateway, and it
      comprises that which it speaks of. It is a miracle.

      It is what is here, that trips the arrogant, and nourishes those who
      hunger for what cannot be seen. It is universally applicable, yet it
      cannot be measured or captured.

      It can be sensed, as a presence, just beyond the left shoulder; it is
      there, but rational mind denies it.

      Each of us is the third, of our parents two. To be aware is to know
      this; it is to be able to drop the identity given, and to be that
      formless immortal. This is the opportunity which each of us is.

      Our problems begin, upon need of making more real, the apparent
      outer, than the inner. No resolution is found in the temporal; and
      none is needed otherwise.

      ==Gene Poole==

      Personal History

      It all started with a Bad Agreement, but I hope I can be forgiven for
      conceding my nothingness, for at the time I was but 2 years old.

      Yes, I admit it; my impression was that I could escape 'their' wrath,
      by acting as 'they' wanted me to act. Little did I know...

      Over the subsequent years, I found that the 'style' which I had
      adopted at home, was in serious conflict with the 'ways of the
      world'. Indeed, it seemed that wherever I turned, I was the target
      for all kinds of 'corrective measures', applied by various versions
      of 'them'. The only consistency, was found in the basic contract;
      specifically, that if I acted like they wanted me to act, I could
      escape their wrath. A bit less naive now, I realized that to escape
      'their' wrath, I would have to act in a multitude of ways, all
      different, depending on circumstances of 'who' I was with.

      Having boiled-down the essential agreement to this one line (act as
      they want, to escape their wrath), I found it fairly easy to escape
      wrath. Unfortunately, I also found that living in this constant state
      of compromise, left little if any happiness for me, aside from the
      feelings of relief resulting from escaping of wrath. I began
      harboring resentment in serious amounts; I also began to seek
      isolation, to be away from 'them', to avoid the taxing necessity of
      play-acting. I found little happiness in being alone, but it was
      better than risking wrath.

      It was not long, before the pain of carrying multiple false-selves
      began to weigh very heavily upon me. By now, I was into serious
      avoidance, which itself led to accusations of 'irresponsibility', and
      thus to accumulation of wrath, and thus more resentment. Alas, I
      found myself within a spiraling vortex, being sucked down the drain,
      as it were. My reaction was to cling ever-more tightly to the straw
      of identity, thus to avoid drowning in that disorienting turbulence.

      To counteract this life of agony, I found drugs. By medicating
      myself, I could have a time of peace, all for myself. This was a
      major revelation; I became a serious student of drugs, to the purpose
      of discovering which drugs could provide the greatest and
      longest-lasting peace. The public media was full of news of LSD,
      reputed to be a 'one-stop solution' to suffering of all kinds;
      naturally, I had to try it.

      My first acid experience was similar to tripping over the top step of
      the Empire-State Building, and tumbling down the entire long
      staircase, all the way to the ground floor. It was too painful and
      disorienting for words to describe. Sharing my disappointment with a
      companion, I was told that I had encountered my own 'karma'; I was
      told that I could have a good LSD trip, if I did preliminary work of
      honest self-evaluation. I considered this advice, because it seemed
      nonsense to take a drug, hoping for relief of suffering, only to have
      suffering increased instead. It seemed to me that acid was too
      volatile to be used for the relief of suffering.

      I eventually realized that self-evaluation consisted of comparing
      myself to something or someone. In this light, I sought those who
      were reputed to be the 'best', to which to compare myself. In this
      search, I eventually was told that Jesus is the best of the best, the
      standard by which all 'men' are to be judged. My next step was to
      'become a Christian' of the born-again type. Upon receiving this
      status, I once again tried LSD. Unfortunately, I found myself
      confronted by satan. Needless to say, this was a terrifying
      experience; however, at the time, I saw myself as Christ, being
      tempted by satan in the wilderness. My self-evaluation had indeed
      worked; I was now Christ HimSelf. Certainly, I had overcome my karma!

      Numerous LSD-trips later, I concluded that the whole thing was a
      tossed salad of confusion and delusion. Unfortunately, I was the one
      confused and deluded. And I was still 'acting like 'they' wanted me
      to act', to avoid 'their' wrath. I was still accumulating resentment.
      My only refuge was the secret island of identity on which I lived in
      isolation; it seemed to me that really, nobody was able to see me or
      visit me on my secret island. My safety had become a terrible
      aloneness. But at least I was safe.


      Much later, I attended a lecture by a Toltec Shaman. He stated that
      our troubles begin upon the enactment of our first agreement. It
      dawned upon me that he was correct; I was even able to remember the
      essence of this first Bad Agreement, by which I had been bound ever
      since. Upon this realization, I was able to understand that my island
      of safety was an identity which was created as a refuge from the
      wrath of others. I saw, in a flash, that as long as I carried this
      identity, that I would be isolated, alone, miserable, confused, and
      sauteed in resentment. And I realized that any identity would be
      essentially similar, different by degree only.

      Upon this insight, I resolved to let go of identity.

      Letting go of identity necessitated the complete abrogation
      (cancellation) of ALL agreements, including the very first one. I
      discovered that the first agreement was made, for the purpose of
      adapting to parental 'values', thus to assure my acceptance as a
      member of family.

      How can I describe the consequences of this letting go of agreement
      and identity? Suddenly, I was in a featureless neutral void. There
      was no stimuli of any kind. I had a very brief moment of
      disorientation; in that moment I felt myself spasmodically reach for
      the security of identity, an impulse which I cancelled as soon as I
      felt it arise. The resulting feelings were unfamiliar, but tolerable.
      I learned to breath, in that void-space; that was the most important
      thing at the time. I found that I had no needs of any kind. I found
      that I am essentially what I define myself to be; I found that I
      could ignore any arising impulse to define myself. I found my nature,
      which surpasses any identity. Identity was seen as "...leaves on a
      deciduous tree; they sprout, grow, wither and die".

      Seeing the tree naked of leaves, I saw the underlying mechanisms
      which generate meaning; I saw mind. Looking more closely, I saw the
      roots of this mechanical tree, infiltrating globally, as is their
      nature to do; I saw nothing wrong with that. I saw that I am not the
      leaves, tree, roots, or globe. I saw that my nature is to contain or
      encompass or 'understand' or better, to 'have' all of that.

      I learned the taste of myself, myself undiluted by any factors
      whatsoever. It is this taste which I now have, and if needed, can
      recall at any time. It is a taste which cannot be imagined, known
      only by experience.

      I know that no matter what the taste one samples, that only the taste
      of self will be recognized. I know that each person, no matter how
      confused or deluded, will eventually experience this taste. I also
      know that agreements and identity are unnecessary, but that it may
      take a long life of experience to make this plainly clear.

      No-one is doing anything 'wrong'. Errors or sins are evaluation and
      are themselves symptomatic of lack of void. No relief of suffering is
      to be found in other than void. Thought may be used productively if
      it leads to letting-go into void. Thought can be used like the oars
      of a rowboat, if needed.

      Devoid of all meaning and metaphor, there is no conflict. Only memory
      can identify the absence of conflict; it is the finest of arts to
      remember conflict, without creating conflict. Joy is had, only by the
      same method; only memory makes joy relevant or important. The memory
      of joy, creates its opposite, unless this mechanism is understood.


      It is possible to relate all of this in speech, devoid of style which
      implies implicit or explicit agreement; it is possible to relate this
      in the bare machine-language of neutral mind-machine. It is possible
      to bring this forth from memory, and at the same time to allow it to
      remain flat information. Any depth seen, is meaning implied by the

      Void is limitless space with room for all. Void is my nature, and
      that is all I can say about it.

      Identity is optional; mind is a tool; consciousness is what arises
      from the field of awareness which is my nature, which is void. All
      form arises from nothing and returns to nothing; awareness is the
      field in which form has its brief existence.

      Awareness is antecedent of form, and awareness remains after form is
      gone. Memory is a factor of consciousness, which is used to retain
      form and to bring forth form from nothing. Identity is based in
      memory, and is a recurring form, created from nothing. Identity need
      not be re-created; essence of Being is void ("emptiness") and
      perfectly serves, devoid of identity.

      Running on empty,

      ==Gene Poole==

      Thanks Gene!

      I like the slant you give, that "our troubles begin upon the enactment of
      our first agreement." That is the point when we take something upon
      ourselves that was originally not in the picture, and put ourselves under
      contract. There are even some libertarian political theories that say that
      contracts are slavery, because you bind yourself now for a time in the
      future, foregoing your freedom at that later time.

      I like your moment of confident, radiant seeing, where you say

      >I know that no matter what the taste one samples, that only the taste
      >of self will be recognized. I know that each person, no matter how
      >confused or deluded, will eventually experience this taste. I also
      >know that agreements and identity are unnecessary, but that it may
      >take a long life of experience to make this plainly clear.

      This is beautiful! The taste of self is all that anyone does taste, even
      now, even when there are experiences that seem to be contrary. A given
      experience might be accompanied by lots of unpleasantness and a belief that
      "this CAN'T be the self," but even this belief and all the grunginess are
      the same taste, the taste of self. I agree, this will become clear - it is
      one's unavoidable destiny, sooner or later. There are moments in
      everyone's life where they receive the grace of a free sample of this clarity.

      It sometimes happens in with the dying (sometimes it doesn't). Many people
      kick and scream during the dying/grieving process. But then some of them
      settle into this clarity and go out serenely with a smile, like a young
      child dropping off to sleep.

      I for one really like these histories, for the exact reason that they are
      irrelevant to what we are. I love movies and novels as well. And like
      Tim, my memory for the "Greg" story, a book on the bookshelf, a movie plot,
      or any other narrative is quite poor.




      American Beauty...

      Hello friends,

      On the front page of this website last year, there was a request for
      people's opinions of this wonderful movie. I have really been
      looking forward to a page devoted to some of the responses as there
      was on the Matrix.

      Was that project abandoned? Is there anywhere else on the web where
      the non-duality of American Beauty has been mentioned? Everytime i
      watch AB i am touched even deeper. I feel there is even more to it
      than i am catching.

      I think Ricky's camera symbolized the Impersonal Witness. What else
      did anyone notice?


      The scene where Ricky describes his experience when taping the red
      bag is the most lucid expression of realization ever committed to
      celluloid, imo.
      ...It's the scene where Ricky is showing Lester the video of the red
      plastic grocery bag blowing in circles. Ricky describes his experience
      of the taping of the bag, how he saw the inherent beauty in all things,
      and how he found he *never* had to be afraid again.


      Another cinematic realization scene that was exquisitely sweet imo was in
      LIFE ON A STRING (1991), a Chinese movie directed by Kaige Chen. It's the
      story of a blind banjo player who was told by his master that when he broke
      the 100th string on his banjo, he would be able to see. At a very late
      age, he did get to the 1000th string, and *what* he saw actually made me
      weep for joy for about 20 minutes!


      My favorite line from the movie came at the end.

      "I'm grateful for every moment of my stupid little life."

      Smiling Quietly

      Peace - Gratitude - Michael

      Ahh, indeed, a tremendous, tremendous movie. Absolutely deserving of
      every award and nomination it received. I didn't think it
      particularly "nondual" as compared to many other movies (any movie
      may be viewed from a "nondual" standpoint of one sort of another),
      but your mileage may vary.

      For my review on the IMDB, go here:



      Thanks for bringing this up, Rick. I have to see American
      Beauty again. The last lines of the movie were most nondual,
      I recall.

      Speaking of movies, I saw 'Being John Malkovitch' on video
      last night. It was fun and interesting, but missed all kinds
      of opportunity to demonstrate nondual perspective. It
      settled for being surreal, arty and humorous.

      Also saw Boys Don't Cry. Based on a true story, it is very
      much worth seeing for its excellent acting and social



      The day my dad died I was cranky with him. I wanted him
      to hurry up so I could go out with my friends and talk
      about all my realizations for the week.

      The day after he died I felt bad. At one point I asked
      him to forgive me. In that moment I realized I needed
      to forgive him. We were together in forgiveness. He
      was really there with me and all was forgiveness.
      None of the other stuff mattered at all. It was all
      just nothing. I was in my heart. Way different than
      being in my head talking about being in my heart.

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