2 POEMS BY XAN
Warm sun of early spring
draws me outside
First gladness in leaf buds
and delicate hyacinths
Then feeling sap run
in the trees
What we call joy
is Life quickening
like VanGogh's sky
in Shakti's dance.
Thinking of VanGogh and the Amsterdam museum
He started out obediently painting darkly
like all the others
Dark earth, dark rooms, brown
pears in a brown bowl
Suddenly he saw sunlight fills the world
and painted everything revealed
More radiantly than sun does.
At last they called him insane when he saw and felt
and painted how ALIVE everything is.
He sent his ear to someone he loved.
I wonder if the message was
"This deafening silence is too beautiful
to miss. Hear it as I do, beloved."
GLO WRITES ONE FOR XAN AND SPEAKS FOR MANY
To welcome his friend
Van Gogh painted his whole house
as the sun.
You do that
This comes from Petros' Petros-Truth list, in most timely
"A man of knowledge chooses a path with heart and follows
it; and then he looks and rejoices and laughs; and then he
sees and knows. He knows that his life will be over
altogether too soon; he knows that he, as well as everybody
else, is not going anywhere; he knows, because he sees, that
nothing is more important than anything else. In other
words, a man of knowledge has no honor, no dignity, no
family, no name, no country, but only life to be lived, and
under these circumstances his only tie to his fellow men is
his controlled folly."
-- _A Separate Reality_
discussion, single occasional posts)
Trinity: Please just listen. I know why you're here, Neo.
I know what you've been doing. I know why you hardly sleep,
why you live alone, and why night after night you sit at
your computer. You're looking for him. I know, because I
was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me,
he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking
for an answer. It's the question that drives us mad. It's
the question that brought you here. You know the question
just as I did.
Neo: What is the Matrix.
Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo. It's looking for
And it will find you, if you want it to.
Chasing after mystical experience is nonrecognition of what
is already the case.
Source is origination.
Origination of what?
Of Itself - all that is.
It's right here.
It's language and thought that divide it into source and
What is your experience of it?
What else is there?
Is there a you to experience an it?
What's that like?
Is there energy to it?
PHIL: All the discussion of "realization" is unreal. I am
Reality. What is there to realize? After a while even a
single word is redundant.
DAN: Bingo! Yes! All words can do is be chewed up and
spit out in favor of real nourishment :-)
As the Self, we are ever free from anything that binds. As
individual beings, we are subject to various forces in the
form of needs, desires, and environmental conditions.
Shakti *IS* the Self in its form as the manifest universe.
*Everything* that happens in the realm of name and form is
the activity of Shakti, including the apparent creation of
what appears to be the individual person.
This individual person in reality does not exist. The "one"
who chooses is an illusion. It's all the play of Shakti,
the apparently continuous fountainhead of all ongoing
manifestation. Our responding to one another in this forum
isn't about two individuals communicating, it's all just a
game the Universe plays with Itself, with It's pure
*being* us as the Self.
I think one reason to use the Sanskrit words is that the
English language doesn't really have words for these ideas.
Yes, we can define Bodhicitta as loving kindness, but then
we have to go on and explain that American use of the word
loving tends to mean love for an individual or group that
"deserves" our love, and is not as general as the term
Bodhicitta, which I often hear described as the love you
have for your mother, the nurturing one, not the nagging
one, applied to everyone, including your worst enemy should
you be unfortunate enough to have enemies (which is why you
are practicing Bodhicittta, to lose that habit.). The idea
is that we've been at this creation/existence game so long
that EVERYONE has been your mother, so why not see them that
So to someone who has seen the word before, typing
Bodhicitta is easier than the complete English translation,
which really is paragraphs long.
The (little) Sanskrit I know (which is not clearly
distinguished from the Pali and the Chinese and the... It's
all a mishmash, and my intent is to keep it that way because
I want all these words to enter the English language - for
example, I think the word karma has), I've learned from
reading the works of Jack Kornfield, and Ramana Maharshi,
and Muktananda, and... I read for the understanding and the
clues to living a saner life, and the vocabulary comes for
two traditions I know of that link power/energy with
"sourceness" are Taoism and Kashmir Shaivism. In Taoism
it's called "chi." Kashmir Shaivism's text called the
"Spanda Karikas" tells all about how energy emanates from
the source causing all things, while never being other than
To be Free, you need the firm conviction that you are this
Substratum, this Peace, this Emptiness.
This firm conviction lets everything just be a game we play.
This firm conviction is the last move in the
NEO: Speaking of The Matrix, there is one line that has
always puzzled me.
Help anyone? In the subway Trinity says
"Everything that the Oracle told me has come true except
This was not followed up on. I can think of several
explanations but none really fit.
JERRY: Maybe there's no direct answer. Maybe the idea is to
not look so hard or take things so literally. Maybe the
Oracle is a Matrix within a Matrix. Maybe the reality that
tells us what the Matrix is, is itself a Matrix. Is there
really any Maybe about it? Isn't it what neti-neti is all
GENE: " A discontinuity is perceived, where none was
It strikes me that this sounds a lot like the I Ching.
Maybe MARCIA can give us the text of the hexagram which most
sounds like this?
Similar concepts: The 'Interval', the 'crack in the cosmic
egg', 'Purgatorio', 'ambivalence'.
Remember... that while in the MATRIX, 'deja vu' is
indicative of 'something about to happen'. Neo saw the
black cat twice in quick succession, and was about to
dismiss it as 'a trick of his mind', but it turned out to be
a very special 'interMATRIX symptom' of events about to
Similarly, in 'real life' situations, surprising turns of
events occur, unpredicted and unexpected. Possibly the most
recent major event of this sort, was the unexpected BLESSING
of the 'Y2K' worldwide party. Many, many people, hunkering
in their bunkers, were completely blown away by the powerful
demonstrations of love, caring, and joy that showed up to
take the place of the predicted breakdown of global networks
and commerce. Rather than fulfill the nightmares of the
paranoid, 'Y2K' was a rosy dawn of new faith in our ability
to 'get along' with each other.
Humanity slides into a default-position of 'resigned and
cynical'; that is the 'norm', and is where so many people
live and come from, all expectations funneled into 'more of
Trinity's comment reveals that she was experiencing the
premonitory tickle of unexpected turns of events; her
'expectations' of perpetual slavery to the machine of the
MATRIX were being challenged.
There is 'great safety' in the space of 'resigned and
cynical'. By adhering to this 'party line of the
world-dream', you will be safely shielded from the attacks
of the majority, cynics every one. By adopting this
'protective coloration', this camouflage of the mass-mind,
you are not singled out for punishment for being
'different'. And this disguise is very troublesome, for
like any mantra, if you say it to yourself often enough, it
becomes true. The 'disguise' becomes a veritable skin, a
protective boundary, which itself then shapes the world
around you. In this way, 'resigned and cynical' rules the
world of every person who subscribes to it.
JERRY: Perhaps the kicker in Matrix 2 will be that what we
thought was reality is also Matrix. That'll be revealed in
the end and will lead to nicely to the Matrix 3, which will
be the best of the three. Perhaps the line Trinity utters
is the doorway, the flaw through which one enters deeper
GENE: MATRIX within MATRIX within MATRIX... do we someday,
get to experience the 'true source'?
Or could it be... that the 'way that it is' is actually,
exactly just how the 'true source' behaves?
Could it be... that by practiced abiding, that every MATRIX
which comprises the matrices of all matrices, will
orthogonally rotate into alignment, providing simultaneous
knowing experience of everything, all at once? And if that
were to occur for you... could your 'conventional mind'
take it? I think not.
The 'dilemma of the seeker' is just this, the disguise
donned to prevent the shattering of the conventional mind.
"Understanding is not understanding"
The disguise of 'resigned and cynical' provides the safety
of world-dream validation, but itself creates a hell with a
population of one.
If one removes the asbestos suit needed to live in hell, one
is immediately cremated, but this is a rare event. Avoiding
is not only a waste of a perfectly fine hellfire, but also
for fear of making an ash of oneself.
MARY ON THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR
When I first heard about Matrix from others and asked them
to tell me about it, they insisted that to say anything
about it would ruin the movie. The Thirteenth Floor is like
that, so I hope my explanation does not ruin it.
First of all, the thirteenth floor of one building houses
the ultimate virtual reality project...its development held
as top secret by its creators, yet in it's not completed
stage. One of the developers dons his helmet,etc. to test,
etc. He's in virtual reality in the l930's or so (forgot
exact decade). Has a good time, etc. and witnesses a
murder. Blah, blah, blah. comes back to the studio, says
it's great, goes home, sleeps , wakes up to find blood on
clothes in hamper. The plot thickens. If I go further I
know I'd ruin it.
What I can say to you, Neo, is that it very much reminded me
of ACIM. It was a most intriguing movie...intriguing like
I asked if anyone has seen it because it is the kind that
fosters discussion due to its original perspective
for gloria from Fragnant Palm Leaves" Thich Nhat Hanh's
"Since then, whenever I talk with a friend, I listen with
all my attention to their words and the tone of their voice.
As a result, I hear their worries, dreams, and hopes. It is
not easy to listen so deeply that you understand everything
the other person is trying to tell you. But everyone of us
can cultivate the capacity of listening deeply. I am no
longer indifferent to phenomena that pass before my senses.
A leaf, a child's voice-- these are the treasures of life.
I look and listen deeply in order to receive the messages
these miracles convey.Separation from loved ones,
disappointments, impatience with unpleasant things--all
these are also constructive and wonderful. Who we are is,
in part, a result of our unpleasant experiences. Deep
looking allows us to see the wondrous elements contained in
the weaknesses of of others and ourselves, and these flowers
of insight will never wilt. With insight, we see that the
world of birth and death and the world of nirvana are the
same. One night while practicing sitting meditation I felt
the urge to shout, "The work of all the Buddhas has been
completely fulfilled!" "
Jean Klein tells us "It became apparent, through meeting
people, that identification with what we are not is
confirmed and reinforced by contraction on the psychosomatic
level. The I-concept is only a contraction on the level of
the body-mind. It has no more reality than a bad habit. It
is a defense against being nobody. ... In getting to know
the body-mind, one can discover more clearly the nature of
the identification, and so let it go. The relaxed body is a
relaxed mind. In a relaxed body and mind you are open to
receiving, available, welcoming, open to the openness. The
relaxed, light, energetic, sattvic body-mind are [sic] a
near expression of your real nature."
Some more words about advaita reside here:
Companionship with the holy makes you one of them.
Though youre rock or marble, youll become a jewel when you
reach the man of heart.
Hi Marcia. I appreciate your honesty and NO I do not
dislike you. FYI, I mostly don't know what I am talking
about myself. If everyone really knew what they were
talking about, there would be no discussion and no mailing
list. We put stuff out experimentally, like a scientist
testing a hypothesis. Being knowingly ignorant we are
capable of learning and discovery. In general, it's the
Gurdjieff stuff that puts me off, but for that matter I'm
open to changing my view about that.