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Fri./Feb 11

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  • Jerry M. Katz
    Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D. _The_Ten_Commandments_of_Self-Esteem_ Kansas City: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1998 ISBN: 0-8362-5196-2 ====================== I.
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 13, 2000
      Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D.
      _The_Ten_Commandments_of_Self-Esteem_ Kansas City: Andrews
      McMeel Publishing, 1998 ISBN: 0-8362-5196-2


      I. Thou shalt not consort with people who make thee feel
      bad about thyself.

      II. Thou shalt cease trying to make sense out of crazy

      III. Thou shalt not keep company with those more
      dysfunctional than thyself.

      IV. Trust thy body all the days of thy life (thy mind doth
      fornicate with thee).

      V. Thou hast permission at all times to say "no,"
      to change thy mind, and to express thy true feelings.

      VI. What is not right for thee is not right for thy

      VII. Thou shalt not give beyond thine own capacity.

      VIII. What thy brethren think of thee mattereth naught.

      IX. Wherever thou art, therein also is the party.

      X. Thou shalt sing thine own praises all the days of thy

      Number (VI) takes a bit of interpretation. She means that
      judgmental of myself, being a martyr, giving beyond my
      capacity, is not good me, and doesn't benefit others either.

      With love,


      "...Beautiful yellow bird!
      Why stay for such a fleeting moment?
      Why not linger and laugh with me?
      We could play hide and seek with Brother Cloud.
      Maybe he could catch us with a raindrop, Or if we annoy him
      enough, a hailstone.

      ...Delicate lavender flower, Why do you keep your petals
      drawn tightly over your yellow center?
      Come open your arms with me to the light of Brother Sun.
      Touch my center with both your lights and Rejoice with me in
      knowing our Father's love.

      ...Sister Moon!
      How lovely you are this morning high and full o'er the
      Last night you illuminated my path.
      I pray your light now illuminates my soul, making us one in
      praise of the Light of our Father.

      ...Brother Wolf!
      What a surprise!
      How can you be here on this mountain?
      Are you an apparition? a dream?
      No, dreams don't sniff campfire ashes, dart glances and then
      mark the nearest tree.
      But do come back!
      You could step inside my area, We could race together or
      hike up the trail or you could curl at my feet while I write
      of our Father's wonders.

      ...May I be born Again to you this day.
      Take all my possessions Before your Heart they lay.
      See me stand here naked and reborn All I own is yours Heart
      and head are shorn.
      So we are One From this day to the last, I am in Your
      service The Eternal Die is cast"

      ~~Foolish girl before she was foolish old woman

      Today I'm called brave. Yesterday I was called a coward.

      One thing about being constantly 'characterized' by other
      people: It begins to get very easy to see the emptiness of
      such "tags".

      Even though you're 'dead' I'm holding you in my heart
      tonight. May your pathway be clear.

      love, Melody

      Melody, is it not that we are all these things?

      Brave cowards, constantly tagging ourselves with useless
      drinks of caffinated bells and whistles?

      And as I've seen of *You*, the Divine Honest Expression of
      Human prevails!

      You hold me purely, in the One place, this lonely only

      Thank you for answering.

      FreeheartavecJava. :-)

      I have not approached anything with intuition and feelings
      because I never did trust such things in myself... I had
      been too wrong too often with such hurtful consequences to
      have any faith in my own judgement, so I needed total proof
      and logic for everything... I had no other way of knowing
      what was real.

      Now I have finally found something real... nothing left to
      say... just happy :-)


      Today I'm called brave. Yesterday I was called a coward.

      Like Whitman, we "contain multitudes." Today I am Shiva,
      Destroyer Of Worlds, tommorrow I sooth my son's fevered
      brow. It is all love, all "God." --Bruce

      One thing about being constantly 'characterized' by other
      people: It begins to get very easy to see the emptiness of
      such "tags". --Melody

      The "tags" of others are ephemeral -- it is the internal,
      constantly nurtured and reenergized "tags" comprising self-
      image that attempt to persist in denial of their transient
      nature. It is these that are our real -- and deadly serious
      -- challenge. --Bruce

      This is from "Talks With Ramana Maharshi"

      January 23, 1937

      Mrs. Jennings, an American lady, asked the following

      Devotee: Is not affirmation of God more effective than the
      quest, "Who am I?" Affirmation is positive, whereas the
      other is negation. Moreover, it indicates separateness.
      Maharshi: So long as you seek to know how to realize, this
      advice is given to find your Self. Your seeking the method
      denotes your separateness.
      D: Is it not better to say, "I am the Supreme Being" than
      ask, "Who am I?
      M: Who affirms? There must be one to do it. Find that one.
      D: Is not meditation better than investigation?
      M: Meditation implies mental imagery, whereas investigation
      is for the Reality. The former is objective, whereas the
      latter is subjective.
      D: There must be a scientific approach to this subject.
      M: To avoid unreality and seek Reality is scientific.
      D: I mean there must be a gradual eliminaton, first of the
      mind, then of the intellect, and finally of the ego.
      M: The Self alone is Real. All others are unreal. The mind
      and the intellect do not remain apart from you.
      The Bible says, "Be still and know that I am God." Stillness
      is the sole requisite for realization of the Self as God.
      D: Will the West ever understand this teaching?
      M: There is no question of time and space. Understanding
      depends on ripeness of mind. What does it matter if one
      lives in the East or the West?

      Later Sri Bhagavan said the whole Vedanta is contained in
      two Biblical statements: "I Am that I Am" and "Be still and
      know that I am God."

      --contributed by Larry

      Hi Melody. Said I would write tonight.

      Unlike the deck of dead words, I thought it would be
      something present to share my day.

      I taunted your ever fertile and very real world. Almost
      trying to say that the violence attempted to be avoided, was
      just what pushed me through to realization.

      What you sow, so shall you reap. And besides starting some
      interesting ripples, It did come right on back to me, just
      as it should.

      Two days ago, I connected the result of both the August
      grand cross eclipse, and the related one of last week. Some
      do have the passion, purpose to speak. Something I have had
      no will to do.

      The communication to me (perceived) was to do what I do
      anyway. Talk. So I placed an Intention, to stop
      resisting. And I spoke first to sadhana.

      Last nite, I met some new friends of Erin's.
      We were invited to a healing circle, held by persons of
      quite young age. I had no idea what would happen.

      The host, a 21 year old named Tuc, a brilliant, explosive,
      vibrating powerhouse of joy, enthusiasm, and unworldly
      knowledge. The connection was intense. the rest of the
      small group - all under 19 - had been gathering, drawn by an
      attraction to, of all people, Ramana Marharishi. The purpose
      of Tuc's basement of his parent's house gathering, was to
      study something new to me:
      Flower of Life. This is activation of Mar-ka-ba (?)
      energy spinning. I will share more as I am able to even
      begin to wrap my brain around what was shared.

      I told Tuc that my Intention to speak, long resisted, had
      probably created the possibility of our meeting.

      Now the violence. Returning home, we were stopped by
      police. No reason, you know they have that strange, yet
      often bothersome tendency. Discussing this once reaching
      home - more police - this time parked in front of the house,
      shining a spot light against the front window curtains, as
      Erin and I sat noticing. They left.

      I went for coffee this morning and received a 36 dollar
      parking ticket, for having my car one foot into a no parking
      zone. All this unrelated, of course.

      This evening, Wild Oats, a very unreliable organization run
      by two Lawyers in Bolder, Colorado, decided to save money
      (?) in this incredibly prosperous market, cutting 25% of the
      Kansas City stores budgets, causing not only a demotion for
      Erin, but additionally, limits on the employee discounts for
      food. Erin quit.

      Now, Melody, what would you do?

      Let Go?

      Or eat the body of Christ?

      I am dead.

      And I speak.

      No control needed.

      No fear.

      No stopping.


      ...the apparent dichotomy between choice and no-choice isn't
      ultimately real. Because there isn't any such ultimate
      dichotomy, the entity that appears to exist as a
      choice-maker ultimately isn't there. What is the difference
      between "ultimate" and "temporal," or "absolute" and
      "relative"? The difference is merely a matter of
      perspective. Nothing disconnects or separates the ultimate
      from the temporal, or the absolute from the relative. This
      means the choice-maker is never real, never there -
      regardless of thought-forms that construct such a
      choice-maker and insist that this choice-maker is necessary
      for "this plane of existence".
      --Dan Berkow

      You are subjectivity without any objective qualities what so
      ever. A simple straight forward search for who you are will
      lead you to this realization. All questions, doubts,
      confusions, joys, and sorrows are objective manifestations
      of subjectivity. The outward appearance of dwelling in
      subjectivity is alone and silent. The wise say this is God.
      That is for you to find out.

      This is it. You can do it.

      From a choiceless engineer I follow the path that
      materializes "step by step", as in a directed dream in the
      minds of those that are part of the One with me. --Dan

      Dave: "When all the hearts are in the space we know, then it
      will be quiet here."

      +++ when all the hearts are aligned in space, and it is
      quiet here..
      the next rhythm will be known, the next voice heard, the
      next step taken, the next breathe inspired.
      choicelessly... voicelessly...
      symbiosis of individual cells within One.

      what engenders 'alignment?

      The creative tension of chaos?... shakti-shiva?

      Integrity: a function of facility of heart-dance through the
      appearance of opposites aware of the intelligent, fluid
      'soup' of Love.

      Is this how any of you see it?

      Christiana ..... 'waxing' again.

      A couple of months ago I read something that hit me in the
      head like a rock - in a nutshell - that compassion and
      self-pity go hand in hand.
      When self pity is gone, compassion also disappears - the
      void to be filled with a deeper understanding of 'things'...
      I reflected on this for weeks but just couldn't seem to wrap
      my brain around it. Didn't make sense - now this little
      piece comes up, which seems to exemplify the above nutshell.

      My quest for years has been to perceive the world with my
      heart ie compassion...Have I unwittingly been giving myself
      the wrong directions
      - in effect, perpetuating self-pity as a means to
      Is there a subtext in my inner dialogue that I'm unaware of
      that triggers and maintains my own self -pity??
      An insidious allusion of the ego using compassion for self



      Hi John,

      There's a big difference between compassion and pity(whether
      pity for self or others). Compassion is suffering with, if
      I feel compassion towards you, that means I am feeling what
      you are feeling, there is no subject-object division, in
      compassion we are one. If I feel pity towards you on the
      other hand, that means I am feeling sorry for you, it's
      objective, I am standing apart from you. In self-pity, I am
      split, I am standing apart from myself and feeling sorry for
      myself, identifying and holding a part of myself that hurts
      and wishing it was better.

      love, andrew

      Dear John:

      Touching touches. Thank you for posting to me. I also read
      your earlier post re: self-pity and compassion...and I think
      you're on to something here. To come to those realizations
      for oneself is one thing. To foist them on others is quite
      another. Not that you have done that, but I do feel that
      has been done to Melody. Nothing can be done to anyone
      against their will...this is spiritually true, but to not
      know that renders the truth meaningless or at least
      useless. A person struggling with a profound wound has only
      the tools they know of to work with. To contribute to a
      safe space in their psyche that facilitates the trust that
      other tools may exist and will reveal themselves is
      infinitely more helpful than telling them their tools are
      inadequate and wrong-minded...even if they are. Truth is a
      funny thing. Or rather, truth is a funny thing. To say
      someone is wrong is a function of truth; to say, through
      action, connection and light, by demonstrating that it is
      so, rather than didactically insisting that it must be so,
      that the One is always right, the Way is always proper, and
      Wholeness reigns is a function of Truth.

      One's own path has all the proper tools for that Self. Let
      us share our tools, but not force the borrowing. Anyway,
      that's my opinion! LOL, for what it's worth.

      Much love, Kristi

      Thank you, thank you, the mercedes de acosta story moved me
      profoundly. I look forward to exploring the rest of your

      I also read the barry long sites sent in by KKT and victor,
      thank you both. Very interesting. There is something
      awesome about this spacious empty land of Australia that
      gives birth to inhabitants who have a great love for the
      body of God and see Self absolutely undivided from in the
      body of manifestation. There is another man living in Byron
      bay on the north coast of New South Wales, Australia, called
      richard. He has a website called "Actual Freedom". He
      claims to have awoken beyond enlightenment as does U.G
      Krishnamurti and experienced the death of emotionalism and
      now lives in the *actual reality* of the body. Its
      important to him also that man and woman come to know peace
      with each other, as barry long is talking about. I even
      wondered whether they were the same person :-)


      Your website is great, Laura.

      I agree! Getting better "day by day." Starting to look
      like a full-time publishing enterprise!

      Laura Olshansky wrote:

      Newish stuff on http://www.realization.org (actually, all
      these items have been on our website for one or two days)...
      This talk of "worms" and "kisses" reminded me of when I was
      out gardening one day. My young son went over and picked up
      a worm, carefully washed it off in the water and then kissed
      it! I was impressed that he at least washed it off first.
      Perhaps he's a bhakta (devotional type)? I don't think such
      behavior can be explained by heredity.


      Old Hag makes an NDS sloppy joe (that's a big, messy,
      delicious, fun sandwich):

      Puttin' all my replies from one digest on one post (victim
      of dysfunctional potty trainin' ya know under guise of
      spontaneous arising compassion for those who detest myriad
      posts in mailboxes.)

      I want a chat where I can talk to OH and gen and Erin and
      Eric. I vote for asking escribe to put it back like it was.
      ~~~Go, andrew! Stamp that precious foot! (thx, dear lad).

      A. oh oh

      ~~~Did someone call?
      Someone with a big shaggy dog? Not now, Annie dear, maybe
      (oh, been just waitin' to say that ,^)))

      A. oh oh Judi:*** That's what my first husband said.

      ~~egad! You mean we had the same first husband TOO?

      oh: and i had to sell...but where was i?
      Judi:....Yeah, best to not go there.

      ~~~LOL! Takes one to know one!
      Been there a few times, have ye?
      lalala...Love for sale...lalala...
      how you doin' sweetheart sis?
      love you.

      To Melodearly:
      Gassho from garbage pile - i see biiiig change in your
      responses lately, dear, and for you to not respond in role
      another may have set up for you, and to say that you now see
      that you put your own hand in the fire seems to this feeble
      brain, a significant awakening - congratulations!
      If i got that wrong, gassho anyway! ,^))

      Roger: This talk of "worms" and "kisses" reminded me of when
      I was out gardening one day. My young son went over and
      picked up a worm, carefully washed it off in the water and
      then kissed it! I was impressed that he at least washed it
      off first. Perhaps he's a bhakta (devotional type)? I
      don't think such behavior can be explained by heredity.

      ~~~LOL ....Just love it! Thx for unwrinkling old heart for
      while! Your son sounds like such a darlin'. At what point
      do we (the big S) suck the "spontaneously arising
      compassion" from our dear young ones, eh?
      Not heredity? Hmm...Seems in your elegant posts, you been
      kissin' a lot of worms. ,^))

      To Eric:
      Been enjoyin' the way you choose - egads i used "the" word!
      here comes Annie - not now, Annie dear, maybe "Tomorrow"
      (oh, said that before, didn't i?...lol) to set your words
      down....all lined up there like intriguing, playful, but
      sage toys, sorta like a NDS Toystory..... Perhaps you and
      Erin dear
      - and Annie delight, too! can come visit garbage pile
      sometime, share week-old olive and mushroom choiceless
      Boboli and a pot of IndulgenceOK Tea - very fine.

      To Christiana:
      Did not understand one word of what you posted dear, but it
      made pile brighter, so maybe it was beyond feeble brain to
      decipher, but something Full of Light must be shinin' outta
      there - ,^)) Love you, dearest.

      ,^))...yes, am in very silly mood tonight...how full is that
      moon? or maybe it was C's post or old Dan PrettyhipDude
      (Where has Shane dear gone? dreams gettin' skimpy
      lately)....probably Judi's wise nonsense...or maybe old
      woman just did not have a choice!

      Maybe tomorrow....will be a wiser day! Who knows? and who
      gives a friggin' care? hohohohoho....

      love to all, oh
      annie asked:

      By the way what does 'btw' stand for?

      Bruce responded:
      This is just too perfect in its utterly complete
      circularity. The question literally contains the answer!

      Thank you, Annie

      Much love -- Bruce








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