NDS Highlights for Wednesday, February 3rd, 2000
- Another day replete with writing about it, playing with
it, getting with it� (taking slight editorial license
it is the fervent desire in your heart, to come to know
the I am who needs nothing and may have anything,
simply for the joy of it. The jewel in the lotus.
To me most of what we say, in this here enchanting
kindergarten, is a form of meditative chanting. A
sustained and relentless, repetitious study of self
nature, without any sense of labor, more a sense of
play. As Siddharameshwar Maharaj explained - it is the
method by which we awoke the mind and the method by which
we silence it and become aware that the idea of "I" does
not exist. But he also says it does not do, to just keep
quiet and go into deep silence, because if one step
(subtle body) is missed in haste there is great
possibility of chaos and the aspirant misunderstands
sleep for samadhi and ignorance for knowledge.
He says that when a subtle body is explained to the
aspirant a description of its great importance is first
shown, (such is our love of such tempting rewards ;-).
Once that subtle body is fully understood and before
explaining the next, the futility of that subtle body
must also be completely understood. Only after that do
we become eager to know the importance of the next
tempting steadier and bigger subtle body which swallowed
the former, but which is also automatically renounced
etc.etc... In this way we learn that
it is only because of these subtle bodies that matter
ever appeared to exist.
Alone is not the same as lonely. Quite different, in
fact. Lonely involves a sense of loss, nostalgia,
missing. Alone moves "away" from "lonely" to a "space"
of no thought or remembrance about gain or loss.
For me, Alone is not really associated with any familiar
words or concepts. Truly Alone, there is no association
to explain it or characterize it.
"No one has spoken my name," said Dandelion.
"Those who say they have known me, haven't.
Those who think they have thought about me, haven't.
People claim their practices bring me closer,
but no one can bring me closer, nor make me farther away.
People say that they see me clearly, but the clothes they
put me in never fit."
Obviously, it's impossible to use words to say what is
beyond words, to use concepts to point to what is not a
concept. Once one says anything, one has made an error.
But saying nothing makes it seem otherworldly, even
divorced from life, which is another sort of error. So,
countless words are spoken, but nothing has ever been
The puzzle is perfect as it is, that hole in the middle
does not represent a missing piece. That hole is the
field of play for our creativity, otherwise stasis is.
Many levels, many expressions. But no effort is required
to encompass the variations of expression arising from
the formless source. All inclusiveness becomes obvious
as awareness of truth deepens.
Remaining in any mind set has nothing to do with the
truth of OneSelf. But finding unity amidst
diversity is going about it backwards. It is trying to
fit puzzle pieces together to make a picture that was
artificially cut into pieces in the first place.
When you remember the unity that you were before
diversity began, will be when it has all died away, and
are now during its apparent existence such efforts will
be seen as superfluous.
When God as the source of all life is investigated it is
discovered that there is no authority, no rules, not even
any guidelines. Only unending beingness. But one must
investigate for oneself.
We have, at different times, offered little pieces of
"reality" through our experiences of trauma, or
suffering, and had them pretty routinely
rebuffed...revealing, I believe, a great fear among many
of the list participants, that their "enlightenment"
cannot bring them closer to the capacity to love someone
"who threatens their survival" , as Roger put it.....as
though a pivotal change in consciousness or function of
perception can be held entirely within the
individual...and not emanate out in a change in behavior
and aims within the context of relating to other human
beings. I would hope that a list such as this would
welcome tales of personal experience that invite us, or
demand of us, that we become aware, of how we react to
suffering...or the appearance of unloveableness....or the
appearance of foolishness...of instability....instead we
sweep it under the rug.....I think, because it makes us
uncomfortable, suggesting to me, that "enlightenment" as
it is characterized here, frequently has not occasioned
much change, from the regular, ordinary world, in how we
relate to others.
I don't have any answers here.....actually, I do think I
have some unique insights here because I have had some
extraordinary life experiences, especially with the
"unloveable", the "wounded," and those who threaten the
survival of others.....but have become very tentative
about sharing those on the list....... It is of small
gain to make of "enlightenment" yet a change in form to
the habits of mind that were carried "prior to