- Hello highlights readers.
Petros on satsangh with Gangagi:
Gangaji held satsang this afternoon in Oceanside, CA (which, true to its
name, is by the ocean, about forty miles north of San Diego) at Mission San
Luis Rey, a Catholic retreat center and historical site.
Gangaji opened with ten or fifteen minutes of silent meditation. I could
feel a few of the 200 attendees getting restless towards the end, maybe
wondering 'when is she going to start?' but of course I realized she had
She mentioned vigiliance and explained that this does not mean effort, but
just watchfulness. 'If I am still practicing desire, there is suffering; if
there is suffering, enquire to see if you are still practicing desire.'
This too is vigilance, this attentive enquiry.
Truth, or discovery of the self, is not a practice. 'It cannot be
practiced. If it is a practice then there is a technique involved, and a
right way and a wrong way to practice, and there is an attainment, and a
need to get someplace, and all that. None of that applies.'
At some point, all these 'traps of the mind' cease. 'There is an essential
shift; it may be perceived as a tiny crack or a huge gulf. This doesn't
matter; it is only perception. If it is the tiniest crack, it is big
After her brief talk, Gangaji had three or four people, individually, come
up to sit in the chair beside her and engage her in some dialogue about
'personal' issues. I put that word in quotation marks as it was very clear
that Gangaji is expert at turning personal fixations into wider observations
and insights about the nature of self and seeking.
Nearly two hours had elapsed, and Gangaji had to stop any more people from
coming up to the dais. It was rather humorous the way she ended it by saying
that everyone was just asking the same question, and that she had already
answered it! This was funny, but true as well. One woman persisted and
wanted to come up but Gangaji told her to listen to the audio tape and see
if her question hadn't already been answered tonight.
***Petros asks for information:
Does anyone here have experience(s) with the Movement of Spiritual Inner
Awareness (MSIA) or its founder, John-Roger Hinkins (generally known as
"J-R"), or his successor John Morton?
***Mel and Dan discuss losing it:
The question I'm asking myself is, "What
would I have to lose, in order to be willing
to see this another way?"
As seen here, I would lose my "me," my
certainty in my opinion, the continuity
of my perspective.
Continuity of perspective. That's an
interesting observation, Dan. It seems to
relate to the desire for the continuity of our
Without any continuity whatsoever to "my"
perspective - what is there?
Loss, uncertainty, unpredictability, death --
With full loss of the perspective that is "mine"
is the relinquishment of history and knowledge --
Existence is the perspective that is "me,"
based on body-mind-experience-memory-thought-continuity.
***Xan and Dan:
Dan: The emotional reactivity associated with images
interpreted as threatening/harmful need to be released
for "ultimate disidentification".
Xan: Dan, I like this description of continuous surrender,
until nothing remains to be surrendered.
Dan: "Recognition" is silence releasing any thingness
before it appears as beginning.
Dan: To relinquish these (generally unconscious) formulations around pain,
threat, self-assertion and self-protection involves work of awareness "at
its depths" (or whatever metaphor you prefer).
Xan: ~ There you go again!
you sure know how to turn a phrase, my boy!
Dan: I just know the roots of conflict/needing/agonizing when
I see/feel/be them! Thank God/Nobodaddy that no one is here!!
***xan quotes from -How About Now?- Satsang with Arjuna:
Asking the question, "Who am I?" and recognizing there is nothing there is
easy. To ask a question and not find any answer is pretty easy. And that
brings, at least momentarily, an awakening. Dissolving the habits that
create separation is also easy, but not habitual and requires some patience.
Asking "Who am I?" and recognizing "Whoops! There's nothing there. Whoopee,
I'm enlightened!" is just the beginning course, Spiritual Awakening 101.
Then what follows is having the maturity, the courage and the honesty to face
the mountain of habits that have supported duality, and to let each be
dissolved. There are many - not all but many - who in the name of Advaita or
non-duality go for the easy part, "Who am I? Nobody there! Whoopee, I'm
awake." and never do the rest, which is the undoing. They never find the
willingness to stand steady and face all the old habits to let them be
dissolved or to face all the unlove that has accumulated. I'm not speaking
philosophically; I'm speaking completely pragmatically.
This demonstrates some schism between what is being said and heard and what
is being lived. This demonstrates that when there is the waking up to one's
true nature there must also be the willingness to stand steady and face all
of the old demons that created duality. Some say that everything is
extinguished in this initial recognition. I say, "Good luck!" I'm just
being pragmatic. Asking the question and having this recognition that is
called awakening is very easy and is kind of overrated a bit these days.
People have a glimpse and then think, "I am awakened. Now everything is
done." Not true. Now there comes the challenge to embody That, whch may
take the rest of one's life. Now must come the complete surrender to That,
the absolute prostration to the Truth that has been seen.
Excellent point. It seems that most of us are really just getting started on
Gurdjieff also teaches something very similar, when he says that "Real Work
can only begin after the realization of one's personal nothingness."
Yes, that's when real learning begins, but it is no more of a clinging
and 'personal' nature. And the 'work' becomes 'play'. It all becomes a 'let
go'. And the 'seriousness' shows itself as nothing but absurdity. That's why
I'm getting such a kick with Xan, because the more serious she gets, the
more absurd it is and the more fun I have.
g: thank you xan and petros-- these words have great reverb with me. .
.doing the work of removing those mountains of habits with joy -- at
last being the peace that i am. but work nonetheless! have just had
the awesome opportunity to watch the film "Meetings with Remarkable Men"
and have the book, so will be knowing more about Mr. Gurdjieff!
Wow-stuff, for sure. and judi, i haven't a paddle either, i'm told
theyve been backordered. . .. :-)
found these words from D. H. Lawrence which seems to sing beautifully
with the harmonic of this thread. it's from "New Heaven and Earth" in
"For when it is quite , quite nothing, then it is everything.
When I am trodden quite out, quite, quite out,
every vestige gone, then I am here
risen, and setting my foot on another world
risen, accomplishing a resurrection
risen, not born again, but risen, body the same as before,
new beyond knowledge of newness, alive beyond life,
proud beyond inkling or furthest conception of pride,
living where life was never yet dreamed of, nor hinted at,
here, in the other world, still terrestrial
myself, the same as before , yet
--D. H. Lawrence
love and blessings,
***Melody quotes J.K:
Meditation is something that is not contrived, organized.
It begins with the first step, which is to be free of all your psychological
fears, anxiety, loneliness, despair, sorrow.
That is the foundation, that is the first step, and the first step is the
***So does Bruce:
Meditation is not the repetition
of the word, nor the experiencing
of vision, nor the cultivating of
silence. The bead and the word
do quieten the chattering mind,
but this is a form of self-
hypnosis. You might as well take
--- J. Krishnamurti
***Judi and Jerry watch TV at Judi's place:
Oh, by the way, Jerry's favorite tv show is the shopping channel.
We smoked cigars and watched the shopping channel last nite. :-)
***Petros wants to know:
What'd he say 'bout me?
He said you didn't look anything like your picture and that you
are very good looking, almost 'preppy' looking, and he didn't know
how you got your eyes to bug out in that picture! :-) And he said
you were a business man and involved a lot with that and obviously
going to all the satsang events. He was very happy to meet you.
***Petros responds to "preppy":
***and tells about breakfast:
...It was great to meet him too. He's rather self-effacing, maybe too much for
his own good. He could use a little less humility and I a little more.
We met at a great deli on the Promenade in Santa Monica. Jerry had some
cantaloupe and coffee, and I had a $12 plate of eggs scrambled with salmon
and two double espressos at $3.25 a piece. I did a lot of espresso-fueled
babbling. Probably got a month's worth of 'spiritual gossip' out in an hour.
It felt sort of like an interview for some reason, like Jerry was probing me
for something, I don't know what.
***Tomorrow night at Judi's will be an occasion to remember:
I just heard from Jerry, said he's coming back tomorrow nite and
Gene Poole with him! :-) Never rains but it pours!