#1528 - Tuesday, August 19, 2003
- Nanao Sakaki
#1528 - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - Editor: Jerry
I come home, shedding work, the highway, the car, my purse and bags. I
bring the dogs in and feed them. I wander aimlessly around my house,
looking for something to do, something to fill the space. I pat the dog
that crosses my path. I pick things up sometimes, look at them, perhaps
move them to another spot. To escape this, I sit at my computer and
dredge up some purpose, like researching every possible thing about any
possible something. It fills the evening until I can justify going to
Sometimes, sitting at the computer, my eyes stray above the monitor,
through the double windows beyond my desk, out into the side yard onto
the big oak across the way. It is immense and patient.
Outside, the air is humid, and cold. No, it isn't cold, it just seems
that way; the sky is fading to dusk and conditioned air blows across my
There are streetlights, then fireflies. One sits on my screen,
blinking. This goes on for hours. I know this because I compare the
start and finish times on my screen's digital clock.
There were neighbors here before we moved in, but now there are none.
Just that giant oak tree. When was it planted? The house was built in
1929, probably the storm sewer later than that. It is one of the
largest trees in the neighborhood. When did the storm sewer break and
send the collected waters of storms flooding over the roots of a
growing tree? These are questions, but there are no answers. Only
silence, and rough bark and leaves too numerous to count. It is a face
off, me and the tree. I wait for it to blink.
Just EnoughSoil for legsAxe for handsFlower for eyesBird for earsMushrooms for noseSmile for mouthSongs for lungsSweat for skinWind for mind
You are hunting power and this is your place,
the place where you will store your resources.
--Carlos Castaneda JOURNEY TO IXTLAN
"Awareness is putting away dishes quietly."
Small sign outside the kitchen door at Yasodhara Ashram .
1958 November Photograph
kosher turkey golden
olive radish pickle platter
loganberry wine sweet
on long narrow table
at Aunt Hessie and Uncle Morris
we smile around the table Cousin Carl
Cousin Barbara Cousin Bruce Aunt Yetta
(who's that sitting next to Aunt Yetta?)
Uncle Benny Cousin Minnie Cousin Julie
Aunt Hessie Uncle Morris Cousin Barry Aunt
Dot Uncle Bernie Grandma Markel Grandpa
Markel Cousin Joanie my brothers
Jeffrey David parents Sarah Mel
& I all gathered together
like a ghetto unchained
coursing easy down twilight riverwho is that next to Yetta?