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Friday, July 19, 2002

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  • Gloria Lee
    HIGHLIGHTS #1140 Friday, July 19, 2002 Editor: Gloria Lee 9 Reaching the Source Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 20, 2002
      HIGHLIGHTS #1140
      Friday, July 19, 2002
      Editor: Gloria Lee

      Reaching the Source

      Too many steps have been taken
      returning to the root and the source.
      Better to have been blind and deaf
      from the beginning!
      Dwelling in one's true abode,
      unconcerned with and without -
      The river flows tranquilly on
      and the flowers are red.


      see above link for all 10 Ox Herding Pictures

      a treat! contributed by Michael Read

      JOHN LOGANIS on HarshaSatsangh

      As I remember it, I also had a sense of being larger than my ordinary
      body/mind self. Huge doesn't begin to describe; ALL is closer. There
      was a sense of complete loss of my identity and being a part of it
      all. In my case the details faded and there was just energy for a
      while - in earth time it was probably only 30 seconds to maybe 2
      minutes - but it could have been centuries in "forever time".

      I don't know why, except that I believe that it was to prepare me for
      the "trial" of cancer to come, and my 18 days in ICU. I was never
      afraid after that, I just knew that I had/have to walk through what
      was to come -- I'm still walking on!!!

      I will share another strange experience. I woke up in ICU fairly
      groggy from the anesthetic and then went back to sleep. When I woke
      up the second time, some nurses came probably four, three of them
      were dressed in white and the fourth was dressed in black with black
      hair and a black nurse's cap. They were all checking me over and
      checking the equipment. At one point all four bent over the rail and
      looked at me. The one in black, nodded and said, "He's OK, I'm not
      needed." Then she smiled, turned and left.

      I didn't get it until I told the story recently to an old friend who
      understands these things -- and she said, "Oh my God, you were
      visited by an Angel of Death!"

      It could be so.

      Well, here I am. That was January of 2000, surgery on the first day
      of Aquarius, my birth sign and now it is July of 2002. My doctors are
      saying I am doing well and I can live as long as I want to the way
      things are going with my health. Ain't that a kick in the head!?!

      Thank you for your sharing. It is nice to know that at least one
      other person has had a similar experience.

      What I have learned is that every day is a gift and I am trying to
      make the most of them.

      When life comes, I live;
      when death comes, I die.
      What next?


      Re:"No God but God"


      Or ... there is no other ... only "this one" ...

      We notice as well --
      an affirmation gets used
        as a statement of faith, as saying the way it is --

      Becomes something to die for, something to live for,
        something around which to orient a life or a group
        of lives.

      Having no affirmation to provide, isn't necessarily
        to be bereft of "knowing."

      Knowing what happens when an affirmation
        is propounded, as if the truth has been said,
        as if language or thought could fix truth in
        some form --



      Self Being Consciousness Alone, requires no other
      instrument of perception, no subtle states from which
      to experience ItSelf. Self ItSelf Experiences ItSelf
      Through ItSelf By ItSelf as that is the Self-Nature.
      The ancient sages state that the Self is Independent
      and without support. Self is One without a second.
      Coming from Self-Knowledge, these words have deep

      Meditators and yogis experience divine visions,
      celestial experiences, and related psychic and mental
      phenomena. Sages say that all such experiences require
      the agency of the mind at some level. We can call it
      SuperMind, Divine Intelligence, manifestations of
      Kundalini Shakti, etc. While such experiences may
      indicate strength of meditation, these do not reveal
      the Self.

      From the relative perspective, Self is Recognized when
      all phenomena that manifests from the Self (SuperMind,
      Shakti) is absorbed back into the Self, into the
      Heart, and the Absolute Silence which swallows up time
      and space makes It Self Known to ItSelf with Fullness
      as Sat-Chit-Ananda.

      Sri Ramana once said something like --- I paraphrase
      --True and Final Realization is knowing the complete
      non-arising of phenomena. It appears to me that this
      makes sense in light of the Advaitic teaching, 1. Self
      is Real; 2. World is Unreal; 3. Self Is the World. Sri
      Ramana said that the the third statement unifies the
      other two and gives them full meaning. 

      Love to all

      JAN SULTAN on Unitive Conscious Awakening List

      David Bozzi's new list may be found at:


      Excerpts from a very beautiful awakening experience here:

              In terms of the meditation practice, itself, one of the first deepenings of  concentration was
      based on what Joel was saying and also the kind of meditation that I  was doing. Anything that
      arose in consciousness--be it a visual object, a sound, a tactile  sensation, a thought, a feeling,
      whatever arose--you kind of just didn't grab it in, and you  didn't push it away. There was a
      commitment to being just there in this field of spacious  awareness, to just be in that field. So there
      was neither grasping nor aversion with things.  There was a deepening of concentration and a kind
      of equilibrium being established. 
              As the days went on, that's what was happening. There was a growing intensity that 
      continued to radiate and with it a sense of calm and contentment. Nothing to do,  nowhere to go.
      Occasionally I would feel a wave-like movement through the body and I  would place attention
      there for a moment and watch the movement wind down  from--this is the only way I can describe
      it--a broad horizontal figure eight to an  increasingly narrow one until it became a point of stillness,
      and then attention was back in  that space where everything arises and falls of its own accord, even
      thoughts. So there  wasn't all this motion going on in the mind--just a building equilibrium. This is
      what's so  valuable about a retreat. There's a momentum that's getting built up, which is not what 
      happens in our everyday existence. It's a unique, precious opportunity. 
              So this momentum was building. There were things that Joel was saying at various  points,
      keeping it right in tow--it was like steady on, was the feeling. Then he gave us  the image of ice
      with water flowing underneath it. At a certain point in meditation the  mind becomes solid and
      transparent, like ice. And even though things continue to  appear, they don't affect that--like water
      running under the ice doesn't affect the ice. So,  there's the ice--the solid stillness of the ice--and
      there's just the water. That happens. It's  very possible, and you begin to feel the freedom and the
      joy of that--that there's a  stillness and a presence of mind that is so solid and transparent. All these
      other little  things are going on underneath--sensations, thoughts, reactions, desires, aversion. But 
      there's this growing sense of presence of mind, presence of awareness. It started feeling  like there
      was a highway. I'm looking out the window and things are passing real quick,  but it didn't matter. It
      was like it was all collapsing in on itself. Things were just  dissolving and what was real seemed to
      be emerging. Nothing exists or subsists or  endures in that reality. Everything just dissolves. It
      arises and dissolves, but that  equilibrium just gets stronger and stronger. 
              It might have been the 3rd or 4th day--the sense of equilibrium was really growing  until it was
      just there all the time. Then it seemed like that it kind of locked into an  equilibrium that was
      already present in everything. It's almost like the equilibrium in the  meditation merged into this
      Grand Equilibrium that was everywhere. That was  somewhat shocking! We work so hard in
      meditation trying to find this equilibrium and,  "Oh my God, the equilibrium is already there!" What
      a joke. [laughs] So many of us,  we're trying so hard. Sometimes we have to just tiptoe--like the
      baby's asleep. Don't  make any noise.... 
              It was the next day, in the afternoon, that the break-through occurred. Todd and I  were in the
      room, sitting together. I was very aware of him. There was a deepening of  the stillness, the
      concentrated equipoise. That morning Joel had asked, "Is anybody  having problems with excitation
      or laxity?" Until he asked that question--which was  perfect--I wouldn't even have known I was
      having a problem. But when he said it, I  realized, yes, I was aware of the experience of kind of
      being on the forward edge of  everything and like trying to pounce on it. So, there was a little bit of
      grasping, there was  a little bit of desire. The concentration here is so subtle and awareness so
      present, you  become aware of these subtle little things. 
              This was the most important part of the practice--not grasping nor pushing away. In a sense,
      that's analogous to remaining in the present, because in the present everything collapses, and you
      really can't hold onto to anything. The moment you grasp onto something, or you push something
      away, in a sense you're not in the present, because you're attached or identified with something
      that's passing away. So not doing that--not grasping or pushing anything away--really brings you
      into the present, and that's what was happening in this meditation. It was very obvious--this
      receding landscape in which everything was dissolving into this ever-present eternal moment,
      unencumbered by any kind of willing, or grasping, or pushing away. It felt like I could start to taste
      the eternal. 
              Up until that point, there were slight little adjustments being made, but if you move too much
      it all breaks. It gets really, really subtle. In a sense, you disappear, because you don't need to be
      there anymore. So I got to that point, and then my body moved, just a little to the right--I think it
      was my neck. I had a cervical neck injury, and when I moved a particular way, the body just got
      comfortable. Then there was this moment of--it seemed as though, there was nobody left anymore,
      no one doing anything--a realization that when you see there is only the seeing, when you hear
      there is only the hearing, when you feel there is only the feeling. And nobody is doing it! The do-er
      had disappeared! And when the doer disappeared, there was a moment where I remember going,
      "OH! OH!" [laughs] I had no idea what happened, because then there was this break. But I knew I
      had found the Beloved. There was a discontinuity, a blacking out of consciousness in which I was
      extinguished, and then it was like the gates of heaven opened and all I can say is [gasp] the
      Beloved--that's what it was. You think you are, and you're not. You think God is, and God isn't.
      And all of a sudden you're just God. There's only God. 
              Dr. Wolff called it, "Knowledge through Identity." What that says is, "How do you know you
      are? Because you are!" There's no subject. There's no object. There's just Being, and the Being is
      infinite space. The Being is in every thing. Every thing is arising from this infinite space. The space
      is birthing everything and dissolving everything simultaneously. And everything is just this empty
      infinite space. This emptiness knows everything, because it's empty--just like the eye sees every
      color because it has no color of its own. So this "knowing" knows every thing because it's nothing. 
              So there was nothing, and out of nothing, out of complete emptiness, there was a big bang. It's
      like my head exploded. There was no more head. There was the universe. And the universe was
      the head. The head was the universe. Everything is everything. What happened was, there was this
      sense of infinite space. The infinite space was not the space outside. It was the space that ran
      through things. Like this explosion of the big bang could have happened in a grain of sand. It could
      have all been in a grain of sand, in fact. Or it could have been every grain of sand in the universe of
      a bazillion kalpas. It was infinitely small and infinitely large. It was the space of all being. It was the
      space that makes everything appear. And that's what was so interesting--the grandness of the
      universe that goes out, is the same grandness of the universe that comes in. Space is space. 
              Then, from the spaciousness, there was this luminosity. Everything was light, and everything
      was made manifest. And there was energy. So much energy. That's actually when I remembered
      that I had a body. Then I said, "Oh my God!" It felt like my body was just going to burn into a puff
      of smoke. If I kept expanding--that's just an image--but it felt like if I kept expanding, I was just
      going to become the infinite universe and then there would be no more body. That was the sense
      of it. So, I remembered the body, and then I came back into the room. And Todd was there, and
      there was all this energy. So I started doing tong-lin, the Tibetan practice of taking and sending. It
      felt like there was so much energy, so the first thing--being an opportunist--I said, "WOW! Do it
      now! Do it now, Andrea!" 

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