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[NDhighlights] Tuesday, March 19, 2002 Part 2

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  • Christiana Duranczyk
    The Nondual Highlights Outstanding posts sent to the Nonduality Salon email list and other online forums Tuesday, March 19, 2002 Part Two The 1013th Edition
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 21, 2002
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      The Nondual Highlights

      Outstanding posts sent to the Nonduality Salon email list
      and other online forums


      Tuesday, March 19, 2002

      Part Two

      The 1013th Edition

      Search all Editions of the Nondual Highlights:
      http://nonduality.com/searchhl.htm


       
      Editors: Jerry Katz, Gloria Lee, Christiana Duranczyk, Michael Read, John Metzger

      Today's Highlights Edited by

      Christiana


      Editor note: Part 2 is a tribute to what can show up as response
      to an authentic query. This time from a woman who is
      inquiring into the energetic dynamics with her teacher;
      wondering what is real and how she'd know. The responses are
      mostly from Gene Poole's font of clear insight about the nature
      of our connectivity (the quantum or 'Alterbrain' - with an amazing
      link), the responsibility of a teacher, root chakra damage,
      confronting our 'way of Being, morality, and personal responsibility.
      Very little has been cut from these dialogues, so this is a longer
      edition. May they serve.
       
      Nbe: I have been asked to preserve anonymity, so the questioner is referred to as "~".
       
      Gene Poole's three letters:
       
      1. I have been following the discussion around your
      experiences with your teacher. I would like to address a point
      or two which you have brought up.
       
      Your overall questions seem to be a request for knowledge,
      rather than a request to resolve the interpersonal issues of
      which you speak.
       
      I wish there were resources available on the web to help
      explain the phenomenon you have questions about, but I
      have been unable to find any.
       
      In brief, the 'human brain', which seems to the the 'seat of
      consciousness', has another, as-yet undiscovered (by
      western science) set of 'powers'.
       
      These 'powers' are always in use in everyone, but 'in the
      background', usually not sensed.
       
      It is entirely possible (as I well know!) for any reasonably
      aware and intelligent person to gain access to those powers,
      to put them to deliberate use.
       
      The traditional set of Yogic instructions (not Hatha Yoga)
      entailed gaining conscious control of these systems. There is
      not yet an equivalent set of descriptors in wide enough use in
      western science to make this concept available easily. See:
       
       
      Essentially, the 'hidden powers' are functions of quantum
      resonance within what are called 'microtubules', which are
      little-known parts of the brain. Each person 'is a transmitter
      and receiver' and usually knows it not.
       
      In my own internal dialog, I refer to all of this as the
      'Alterbrain', or 'alternative brain'. My Alterbrain speaks directly
      to yours; the two of us are linked in what may be experienced
      as 'sexual' (better related as 'Tantrik') flow/counterflow
      negotiations, always. This is an ongoing communication.
       
      Someday perhaps, if the 'powers that be' can be distracted
      long enough, this information can be publicized. Knowledge is
      power; in this case, the power to defend yourself against
      'psychic hackers', and undue influence by manipulative social
      control systems, secular or religious.
       
      Humans are already 'networked psychically'; it is unavoidable,
      we are made that way. However, it is possible for a person to
      promote oneself to the status of 'system administrator' in the
      network of humans. Many Gurus and teachers, actors,
      politicians, etc, have done this, and are able to exert
      powerful influence among humans.
       
      In truth, it is possible for a person to exert or create almost
      any conceivable effect, almost anything that can be imagined
      can be done. It is not particularly difficult for a skilled person
      to exert overwhelming influence over other people, animals,
      insects, and the surrounding local environment.
       
      The Vast Living Universe stands ready to mutate to serve us;
      it already is in service, but the scope of the usual human
      perspective removes conscious awareness of this. We live
      entirely by Grace (for free) but delude ourselves that we
      'earn' our way as we go. We are all endowed with the
      machinery necessary to control the local Universe; and this
      can be extended to control of other people.
       
      It is as though, we all contain a 'remote control' unit, which is
      actually part and parcel of the target system. Because there
      is nowhere to hide, a person will either remain blissfully
      ignorant of these things, or will attempt in some way, to
      master them. I suggest the latter path.
       
      It is possible to learn how these things work; and it is possible
      to 'erect an effective firewall' (stateful) against hackers,
      benign or otherwise.
       
      If you are interested in gaining deep and intimate knowledge
      of these things, please reply to this letter, onlist.
       
      PS: You may print this letter an give it to your teacher.
      Chances are, he will understand and agree with what I have
      put forth.
       
      2 Gene Poole
       
      ~ Hi Gene, Yeah I'm interested in gaining knowledge of this
      stuff! The stuff with the teacher is confusing, but the reason
      I'm in the class is to find out as much as I can about
      consciousness and to learn how to transcend my
      identification with my body. The class has been interesting,
      but in my opinion he isn't going deep enough and there are
      only 2 weeks left. Thanks.
       
      GP: There is a chance that your Teacher is compassionately
      NOT confronting you, about how you are able to _maintain_
      your ignorance of these things.
       
      A direct, head-to-head confrontation could produce
      unwanted (yet not necessarily inhibiting) consequences;
      namely, that you would be hurt or offended, and depart, thus
      to possibly spread rumors which could hurt the rep of the
      teacher. Another possibility is that your Teacher understands
      that you are not 'ready' to be open to what you think you are
      asking for.
       
      In any event, there is a script of sorts, which I would like you
      to become aware of. It occurs frequently between 'teacher
      and student' and it goes like this:
       
      _1: Teacher demonstrates (by action) or speaks what is
      essentially a challenge for the recipient (the student).
       
      The student could respond by saying, deliberately:
       
      "I do not understand".
       
      _2: If the student is ABLE to respond, clearly and
      deliberately, to the demonstration (in your case, the psychic
      touch by your teacher) by saying "I do not understand...
      (how that happened, etc)", the teacher may then proceed to
      deliberately fill in the blanks, thus 'teaching' as per the
      agreement.
       
      _3: If the student is NOT able to respond in a clear and direct
      way to the challenge, the teacher will know certain things.
      These are:
       
      _a: The student has made self _oblivious_ to what is
      interpreted as 'anomalies of the sensorium' by the student.
       
      There is usually only one reason for this (non- response) by
      the student, and that is FEAR that something bad, which
      happened before, will happen again. There is little difference
      between 'psychic rape' and physical rape, as experienced by
      a very young child; but the memory of 'invasion' as carried by
      the child/adult, has gone unchallenged until now. This is the
      real issue, IMO. An overly pushy, invasive adult/parent may
      cause the 'root chakra' of the very young child to 'slam shut';
      this is a very common event. The result is an adult child who
      is seriously 'malnourished' for the energies which would gate
      through the (closed) 'chakra'.
       
      _b: The teacher has 'found' (by probing) the very center of
      the fears of the student; and that by carefully 'zeroing in' on
      this area, the student can be relieved of what could
      otherwise be a lifetime of self-imposed
      blindness/identification.
       
      It can take a long time (as some of our participants can tell
      you) for a person to become free enough to look openly at
      'what seemed to happen' (as recorded by memory) and thus
      to be able to convert that 'false memory' into 'what actually
      happened'.
       
      _c: Teacher can be aware that HE could be the next, of a
      long line of 'victimizers' who inhabit the memory of the
      student, all by arrangement of the student, who needs
      'victimizers' to maintain the identity of 'victim'.
       
      'Victim' identity imparts certain 'powers', chiefly that of
      'righteous slayer of evil', as powered by resentment and
      outrage. This situation is one which I have learned, by
      experience, to avoid.
       
      (I have actually had people run screaming from the room,
      later to report to friends, that I had 'tried to hypnotize' or
      'brainwash', or even that I have 'the demonic power of satan'.
      A group setting is safer for the teacher, but still does not
      guarantee that 'fatal misunderstandings' will not occur. In
      other 'traditions', it occurs that the touch of the Teacher will
      'cause' the student to lose consciousness, have a prolonged
      psychotic experience, stagger about like one demented, etc...
      do you know of this? )
       
      You had written earlier, in response to Michael:
       
      ~I'm just confused about what is real and what is not. Nobody
      (that I've talked to at least) has ever said that people can
      zap with energy from their eyes. Can people put "thoughts"
      into your mind by shaking your hand? It seemed like he did
      that too. Can people look at a person and know stuff? How
      come when I was looking at him one time his face changed
      into a kids face? Why does my body burn sometimes? How
      come when he was crying about his dog one time my heart
      chakra started really burning like hell? Could he tell you think?
      What the fuck is going on? Where can I find out about these
      things? I don't get it!
       
      GP: he answers to most of the above questions is "Yes".
       
      The question being put to you is this: Now that you have
      directly experienced this demonstration, which proves to you
      that there is a vast spectrum of 'knowledge and experience'
      which you do not (yet) have, are you willing to open yourself
      to understanding WHY you do not know about these things?
       
      That is the real question; how have you managed to NOT
      know about this stuff? The emotion expressed in your letters
      (as above) denotes that this 'stuff' is far outside the range of
      your experience, yet, you are seeking such knowledge. Are
      you open, to coming to understand HOW you have avoided
      such experience before now?
       
      Such experiences are daily, even continuous, for many
      people. You can take my word on this. Yet, our cultures
      forbid the words, concepts, and experiences, punishable by
      various unpleasant and fearful means.
       
      There is actually NO penalty for knowing about this stuff, or
      for having such experiences. Knowing about this stuff, and
      having such experiences, is the same as knowing that there is
      no penalty.
       
      The choice is yours. Are you willing to confront you own 'way
      of Being', which has kept you safely isolated from the full
      spectrum of 'human possibilities'?
       
      That seems to be the question.
       
      Please reply onlist; this can be a very fruitful discussion for
      everyone.
       
       
      PS: Did you follow the link I provided (quoted below)? If so...
      what impressions do you have?
       
      Response from questioner:
       
      ~ I'll try to answer your questions and be a little bit more
      specific this time. I don't think I was very clear before.
       
      GP: _3: If the student is NOT able to respond in a clear and
      direct way to the challenge, the teacher will know certain
      things. These are:
       
      _a: The student has made self _oblivious_ to what is
      interpreted as 'anomalies of the sensorium' by the student.
       
      ~ He shook my hand, but was also walking away while he was
      doing it. If I had wanted to respond in any way I wouldn't
      have been able to because he was out the door. Also, when
      he shook my hand it felt like there was a warm energy and a
      sexual energy. The picture I had in my head was that the
      shake was really more of a lingering caress and the idea that
      "we" needed to wait until school was out. My confusion was
      not about energy being transmitted (though that was the
      strongest, wierdest energy I have ever felt), it was about my
      interpretation of the content. I'm very attracted to this guy,
      so it isn't out of the realm of possibility that it was wishful
      thinking on my part. But, it really didn't seem like that, it
      seemed real. The next time I saw him was on Monday, in a
      classroom situation. It seemed like he was looking at me, then
      glancing away really fast when I looked at him. I was hoping
      for some kind of "clue" from him about how I should interpret
      the handshake. I never really got one until Wednesday. When
      I looked at him that day his gaze seemed unguarded, I got
      the impression that what I was thinking (that he is attracted
      to me) was true. He held my gaze for a few seconds, then
      looked away. Then I felt warm energy which seemed to have
      sexual undertones in my head. I perceived it to be energy
      from an external source. Again, I can't be sure.
       
      GP: You had written earlier, in response to Michael: ~ Can
      people put "thoughts" into your mind by shaking your hand? It
      seemed like he did that too. Can people look at a person and
      know stuff? How come when I was looking at him one time his
      face changed into a kids face? Why does my body burn
      sometimes? How come when he was crying about his dog one
      time my heart chakra started really burning like hell? Could he
      tell you think? What the fuck is going on? Where can I find
      out about these things? I don't get it!
       
      GP: The answers to most of the above questions is "Yes".
       
      The question being put to you is this: Now that you have
      directly experienced this demonstration, which proves to you
      that there is a vast spectrum of 'knowledge and experience'
      which you do not (yet) have, are you willing to open yourself
      to understanding WHY you do not know about these things?
       
      ~ I know about these things from the perspective of
      experiences I've had before. What I don't always know is
      what they mean, and how they happen. For instance, when
      my heart chakra was burning, I knew it had happened before
      and that it happens fairly frequently. It had never been so
      strong, so "big" or burned so much. What I didn't know was if
      he could feel it also. I still don't know. What does it mean
      when my back, along the spine, burns? Can other people tell
      when that is happening?
       
      GP: That is the real question; how have you managed to NOT
      know about this stuff? The emotion expressed in your letters
      (as above) denotes that this 'stuff' is far outside the range of
      your experience, yet, you are seeking such knowledge. Are
      you open, to coming to understand HOW you have avoided
      such experience before now?
       
      ~ I've had such experiences before, though not so often or
      so strong. Lately every time I'm around that guy my back
      burns. When I meditate all of my chakras burn and sometimes
      it feels like there is pressure on the top of my head. What is
      that? What does it mean?
       
      GP: Such experiences are daily, even continuous, for many
      people. You can take my word on this. Yet, our cultures
      forbid the words, concepts, and experiences, punishable by
      various unpleasant and fearful means.
       
      There is actually NO penalty for knowing about this stuff, or
      for having such experiences. Knowing about this stuff, and
      having such experiences, is the same as knowing that there is
      no penalty.
       
      The choice is yours. Are you willing to confront you own 'way
      of Being', which has kept you safely isolated from the full
      spectrum of 'human possibilities'?
       
      ~ Yeah, I am. I'd just like to be able to tell what things like
      that mean. I'd also like to know how to tell the difference
      between what is real and what I'm just "making up."
       
       
      3. Gene Poole
       
      ~ Gene, I showed to my teacher the first post you wrote to
      me. He said that yes, it was true, but that you were missing
      Christ. He told me what you were describing was black magic
      because of the missing Christ principal (his outlook is
      Anthroposophy, which is akin to, or is a form of, Esoteric
      Christianity.) He said that it is Christ which lets humans
      partake of the kinds of abilities of which we were speaking
      without "casting each other down" or getting caught up in
      Power. We are here to redeem the earth and need to take on
      the karma of the "other" to do so. At least that's my
      interpretation of what he said. I'm going to talk to him about
      it more in depth tomorrow afternoon. Before I talk to him I
      would be interested in hearing your ideas about what he said.
       
      Gene Replies:
       
      I am very glad that you showed my letter to your teacher.
       
      I am somewhat familiar with Anthroposohpy, although more
      familiar with it's source, which is from Goethe.
       
      I disagree with the assessment of 'black magic'. Magic is
      magic; doing magic on another person is actually what I was
      describing.
       
      There is no 'license' provided by an alleged alignment with
      Jesus Christ, or the 'Christ Principle'. Actions under- taken by
      any individual are what they are, regardless of whose name
      they are committed in.
       
      I do not mean to imply that any such doing of magic is right
      or wrong, good or bad. Your questions had to do with
      phenomena, and I have endevoured to engage your attention
      to the root of those phenom, which is common to the nature
      of every person. As you are discovering, certain people have
      taken the trouble to develop their own awareness of certain
      aspects of human nature. The choice to do so, and the
      results obtained by individual efforts, are independent of
      factors of morality.
       
      Morality (which I think you are asking about, and which your
      teacher certainly seems to be concerned) is an issue distinct
      from our powers; but it does have bearing on the
      consequences of how our powers are used.
       
      It is a good thing to learn about our nature as humans; one
      principle which should be clear from a study of history, is that
      acts are what they are, no matter how they may be justified,
      or in whose name.
       
      If a person is able to exert control of another person, that is
      what is actually happening. There is no blanket permission or
      probibition involved, so there is no rule, to save or condemn
      you or anyone.
       
      It is incumbent upon each person to learn the lay of the land,
      and to make appropriate adaptations. The worldly powers
      that be, would have us all remain ignorant and thus vulnerable
      to mass-control.
       
      The work of a 'good master' is to help a person become aware
      of how the overall system works; the master becomes an
      adjunt to the immune- system of the student, promoting the
      very best of functionality.
       
      Only you, can decide what is 'right or wrong' in terms of
      morality. In this regard, your decisions transcend any rules,
      no matter from whom such rules are reputed to emanate. In
      fact, it is this very issue, of the decisions which you make,
      and the consequences of your decisions, which is of the most
      importance in this whole discussion; you must (and I don't
      mind saying 'must') assume responsibility for all of your own
      decisions. If you let yourself be influenced to obey or believe
      'rules', you will probably assign responsibility to the source of
      the rules.
       
      I have tried to show that seemingly strange psychic powers
      are natural properties of humans, and that certain people
      have taken the trouble to develop their abilities, for good or
      bad. You have the opportunity to learn about such things, to
      strengthen yourself, to ultimately free yourself from the
      constraints of the culture, and able to adequately protect
      yourself from any and all assaults.
       
      Probably the greatest inhibitor to freedom is the assumption
      that upon the accomplishment of certain tasks, that it will be
      OK to go back to sleep, to go back onto autopilot, and to
      cruise in eternal happiness and contentment. Our search for
      rules, is usually an attempt to find such a comfortable
      position; 'just obey the rules, and everything will be OK'.
       
      The 'Disney version' holds a terrific lure, and the 'perfect
      relationship' is a very powerful goal to follow. Love and
      thoughts of future always enter. The advice I can offer is to
      be very selfish and to always think of yourself first, in the
      context of love relationships. Be ready to 'bail' if you need to.
      This means to resist forming attachment to the projected
      outcome of any relationship, attachment which would make
      you stick around while you are being abused. This goes
      'double' for spiritual teachers.
       
      So now you are in this position, as you describe it, and what
      will you do? Will you be passive, and depend upon a vast
      overall system of rules of morality, or will you actively pursue
      your own goals?
       
      I respect the values of your Teacher, with the exception of
      the needing to 'take on the karma' of others. This is
      something which I have looked into, and I deem it to be
      untrue. Always, it is our own karma which we are dealing
      with. If anything, I would suggest to avoid 'taking on' the
      karma of another, even if such a thing were possible.
       
      Only you are in position to actually decide what to do, and
      this is always the case, no matter what. So far, nothing you
      have described would seem to cast your teacher in a bad
      light. Still, you must accept responsibility for your own
      decisions.
       
      If you wish to develop yourself, to free yourself of arbitrary
      cultural rules, you may do so. You may begin at any time.
       
      In any event, you will find that it is true, that it is your own
      awareness which will be your guide, or your downfall. learning
      to 'think for yourself' in all matters is necessary.
       
      I will be happy to continue this discussion onlist, and I will
      reply to your previous letter after my digest arrives.
       
      --- Michael Read's respond
       
      ~ I'm just confused about what is real and what is not.
      Nobody (that I've talked to at least) has ever said that
      people can zap with energy from their eyes.
       
      M: Reality? Sheesh! Haven't you grokked in completeness that
      ALL is an illusion? Everything, yup!
       
      The ideas we formulate in our heads. politics, religion, art
      appreciation, economies, sexual mores, automobile design,
      and on and on and on
       
      Our sense of aloneness and family. laughs, jokes, kids crying,
      chores, good times, bad times
       
      Your spiritual quest and mine. every step on the path falls
      into nothing
       
      Matter is energy and energy is matter. now you see it now
      you don't - ask the physicists
       
      On the other hand the Real Reality, as they say, is the only
      real thing.
       
      The Real Reality is so lovely, so beautiful, so fullfilling! Ah,
      yes. Such a happy happy joy joy place. It is there, just
      around the next corner, just past the next bend in the river,
      somewhere at the rainbow's end.
       
      In the meantime there is a huge blob of ketchup on your
      blouse. Your brand new, hand washed, silk, meditation blouse
      from Indonesia! heeheehee!
       
      I do not know what kind of teacher this person is or, what
      practices you are doing. If your practicing tends toward mind
      stilling, breath control, or focused energy work, you will have
      certain side effects.
       
      From your description, I think this is part of what is
      happening. It happens to all of us to some degree or another.
      These side effects include everything from seeing lightforms,
      telepathy, bi-location, clairvoyance, increased empathy,
      healings, astral and interdimensional travel, visions and
      visitations, and of course blissful states. To name just a few
      of the things that can happen.
       
      Anyhoo, it's still illusion, still just another part of the show.
      Like other folk who these things happened too, I also at one
      time was caught up in believing that 'my' path was spiritual
      and somehow a wee bit more blessed. Ha! What a dope.
      <grin>
       
      Most do not teach this. To do so would be to burst one's own
      party balloons. <grin>
       
      I think that is what is holding you back from having a heart to
      heart with this person. Maybe I'm projecting a wee bit but - is
      there a part of you that doesn't want to find out that your
      teacher is just a person, like you?
       
      I'd like to suggest that you try something before you talk to
      him, as someday you no doubt will. Try this, if you like. Take
      a calm, firm and gentle look at what is going on inside of you.
      See what the ego/body/mind is projecting. See what comes
      up. Don't weigh and judge whatever is being projected. Don't
      'own' it or deny it. Just see it.
       
      Observe what it does, how it goes, how it shifts. Remain as
      detached as possible. Observe the antics of the ego/mind.
      Now it's worried about this or that, now it's singing some silly
      song, one moment great pleasurable fantasies unfold, the
      next gibbering fear runs naked across a burning desert of
      desires. <phew! - what the fuck was that?!>
       
      In other words, you get to face the human condition full on.
      But the question still remains. Who is the observer? Oooh,
      scary stuff! The mind doesn't want to go there! heeheehee!
       
      I wish you well. Thanks for letting me ramble on.
       
      at play in the fields of eternity -
       
       
      Su Gandolf's confession
       
      Musings on the teacher I wrote about (note: he is not the
      coward referred to in the subject line), and other things:
       
      When I met this man, he was not in the guru role, and I
      seemed to be the only one there who had an intense energy
      experience in his presence, so I asked him about it. He
      touched me in a way that felt right, the energy released, and
      he directed me in and up, not toward himself. I went to visit
      him a little while later, he lives in a very small community of
      which he is the head.
       
      It's possible I confused the guy as much as he confused me. I
      *wanted* a sexual healing. I was very clear that I needed a
      male teacher at that moment, and that I needed to be
      touched. But I didn't want to be kissed by a guy proclaiming
      monogamy to a wife of 30 years and celibacy and the ability
      to love me the way god does. I wanted to be near someone
      who had more boundaries than I did (I'd been led to believe
      that he was such a one from his vows, for one. I didn't
      understand the possible underside of a vow practice). I didn't
      want contact that was sexual to the exclusion of the other
      energies. I was a tongue-tied woman who needed to talk.
      And, he could have told a lot of other lies, but he did not. He
      could have told me it was him in my consciousness, in my
      dreams, and first of all in my heart. He who gave me
      experiences of heart-busting light and love, ESP, kundalini
      awakening, a desire to practice. But he did not. So, in that
      way he was cautious, and he certainly didn't have any
      intention to mislead. He was full of himself and I wanted to
      surrender, wanted to be full of him too (ha, ha). But I did not.
      That is not what was happening. Have you ever wondered if
      Hafiz is just a dirty old man? And then laughed with him,
      knowing he will be whatever you want him to be?
       
      In fact, I was healed. Not in all ways and forever, but healed
      nonetheless. He was a catalyst for much that was of benefit.
      There was the dream of The Phallus, and he rode it, his wife
      his consort. This was a healing dream. And here, there was
      no confusion about sex or our roles.
       
      We meet people and our wounds meet theirs, sometimes. For
      me, it is important to look at issues of power and authority. I
      have misused power on occasion. I doubt my understanding
      of power dynamics will ever be very deep. So often there is a
      subtle feeling of one "person" above or below the other. And,
      yet.
       
      What do we really want? Nina, you said "a peer". Yes. Isn't it
      wonderful to have one? Sometimes, though, it seems like we
      have to play out our needs to surrender or to proffer. To be
      the student or the teacher. The roles do have some kind of a
      conditional reality, and that can be noticed and respected, I
      think. To say and mean "you're doing great" to one who is
      unsure is a lovely gift. And, there are a hundred and three
      examples more.
       
      Me, I seem to avoid mastery in any discipline. *This* is the
      coward's way. It changes in an instant, anyway.
       
      Jerry Katz responds to ~ and to Nina
       
      Something's going on energy-wise, but I could only speculate
      as to it's nature. He's trying to make some quality of
      connection, it sounds like.
       
      Why not just say, "hey, man, what's this energy crap going
      on. Tell me now or i'm outa here."
       
      He should give you a straightforward answer. He's just a guy.
       
      Remember, you're in control.
       
      jerry (just a world renowned guru)
       
      Nina responds:
       
      Hey - I like your straightforward approach. It works equally
      well in any socially challenged situation. You know - so many
      people are so eaten up inside that they can't even make the
      most simple social contact. The longer you let this go on, the
      harder it gets. Ah, what exquisite and totally unnecessary
      torture! A hearty and genuine HELLO at first recognition is
      usually enough to bring anyone out of their self- imposed
      social turmoil.
       
      Jerry : i'm just as tongue-tied in social situations. In 'life or
      death' situations, however, things often get said.
       
       
       


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