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April's Topic of the Month: Discipline

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  • Jan
    April s Topic of the Month: Discipline Do you and your husband agree on how to discipline your children? If not, how do your individual approaches to
    Message 1 of 3 , Apr 2, 2008
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      April's Topic of the Month: Discipline

      Do you and your husband agree on how to discipline your children?

      If not, how do your individual approaches to discipline differ?

      If you're a single/divorced mom and share custody, is discipline a
      challenge due to different rules/philosophies in households, etc ...?

      Jan
    • Colleen Rivera
      Hi Jan, Interesting topic! My husband and I do agree on the topic of discipline. We re radical unschoolers, which means that we extend the unschooling
      Message 2 of 3 , Apr 9, 2008
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        Hi Jan,
        Interesting topic! My husband and I do agree on the topic of discipline. We're radical unschoolers, which means that we extend the unschooling philosophy past academics and into all areas of life - it is a whole way of life for us. This isn't something that we were raised with, and it doesn't always come naturally, but it is something we both believe in. The times when we don't agree, it's almost always because 1) one of us has a piece of information that the other does not or 2) one of us is in a bad mood and is feeling unable to deal with anything. 

        My husband mostly trusts my judgement, research and reasoning; he does still have occasional doubts about radical unschooling and unschooling in general and we talk about that. It would be odd if he never doubted something so foreign!! :-)


        ~Colleen~ wife to Adam, my beloved and my friend  
        UCbirthing, unschooling AP mama to Sarah 1/03, Mia 8/04, Adam 5/06, and Aaden 1/08
        myspace.com/colleenrachelle


        You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.
      • Jan
        Colleen wrote: Interesting topic! My husband and I do agree on the topic of discipline. We re radical unschoolers, which means that we extend the unschooling
        Message 3 of 3 , Apr 11, 2008
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          Colleen wrote: Interesting topic! My husband and I do agree on the topic of discipline. We're radical unschoolers, which means that we extend the unschooling philosophy past academics and into all areas of life - it is a whole way of life for us. This isn't something that we were raised with, and it doesn't always come naturally, but it is something we both believe in. The times when we don't agree, it's almost always because 1) one of us has a piece of information that the other does not or 2) one of us is in a bad mood and is feeling unable to deal with anything. 

          My husband mostly trusts my judgement, research and reasoning; he does still have occasional doubts about radical unschooling and unschooling in general and we talk about that. It would be odd if he never doubted something so foreign!! :-)
          ----------------------------------------------------

          Colleen, thanks for your comments. 

          Regarding my own family's situation ... I would have to say, in general, I was much more patient with my sons than my husband was -  and much more inclined to talk things thru.  In all fairness, tho,  I came from a family who included my brother and I in family discussions, decisions, business, etc ... and my husband came from a family who embraced the attitude that children are to be seen not heard.  Overall, he did trust my judgment and since his job took him away much of the time when our boys were little, the actual day-to-day style of  "disciplining" or working through a problem was more inclined to be my role (and my methods).

          Ultimately I wanted my children to understand the importance of doing the right thing - not because they were afraid of me or my husband or the punishment which might ensue ... but because doing the right thing is the right thing to do.

          Jan

          -------------------------------------------

          BTW, I asked this same question over at my Libertarian Moms group and included a poll.  Below are the results with 32 moms participating in the poll to date: 

          Question: Do you and your husband/SO agree on how to discipline your children?

          Always - 12%

          Often - 75%

          Sometimes - 9%

          Never - 3%

          Total Votes: 32

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