I just need someone to listen to me; I want to ask advice, but I don't know
what to ask.
My former PCP left town without notice..no letter, nothing; when I found out,
I had less than a week to find someone to write one of my heart med scripts
before I ran out. I was waiting the results of some test and no one would
give me the results and my doc was no where to be found. I assumed the
results were OK since I had heard nothing. Now I have heard.
I'm left reeling...I don't know how to handle the information and then again,
I'm trying to tell myself he is 'nutcase' and maybe it isn't even true.
Supposedly there isn't much that can be done allopathically and it explains
the massive increase in certain symptoms I have been having; I guess things
are not too good. I have a ton of questions for him now, but have no way to
contact him...I didn't think to ask how I could should I have questions
because I was trying to listen to what he had to say...and digest it.
I don't know what to do......if I come forward with this information to my
current docs, it will start a furry of medical commotion I don't feel up to
dealing with. most docs are so clueless as to how weak I can get and the
amount of time I need to recover from one trip out. pushing it will only
cause my other symptoms related to the news to get worse. but I don't
understand why the other docs don't know about this anyway?? I don't want to
be a burden to my children and DH; then again, I have sick children...very
sick children, one in particular, one. My DH doesn't know how to begin to
care for our most affected son; I have been begging him to learn for years
and I feel I want to be angry with him for not learning, but now is not the
time for anger.
I started many months ago (when I knew there 'might' be something to be
concerned about) looking into getting some home health help for my youngest
DS, but it is such a hassle dealing with the limitations of HMOs, etc., that
I declare the stress of it all is not worth it.
I just don't know what to do...I want to come to terms with this before I
share with anyone, but I have more questions that need to be answered so that
I can come to terms with it and then make decisions. I don't want to bring
it to the attention of my current docs for multiple reasons..when I know how
I wish to handle, then I will be up to dealing with allopathic medicine. But
without more info, I don't know how I want to manage things and thus don't
know how to deal with the allopaths!
I wish I could pretend that I have heard nothing. I keep telling myself that
there is a reason I was not told this earlier and I can come up with a few
good reasons. I may need allopathic meds to help deal with the symptoms, but
I just don't want to deal with the allopathic system..I just want help and to
be left alone otherwise. I want to be in control of the decisions that
affect my life and I don't want to have to fight for that right. I want to
make my own decisions because right now I know I can and I don't want to have
to explain my decisions every time I am seen. I don't want some doctor
having control issues over my life and thinking he knows what is best...I
just want the freedom to make my own decisions, in my own way, in my own
time. I can't have that if I seek information and try to get some symptom
relief...I will lose freedoms and the ability to choose merely for the asking
Thank you for listening.
Thanks for sharing this with us...I am so sorry for what you are going through...I think we all fear something happening to us...and then what will happen to our kids? I feel that way each time I fly...and also, i ignore my own symptoms (altho they are not mito symtpoms b/c Andrew is adopted).
Have you been able to share the news with your husband? I am assuming the results are quite serious and I hope you can share them with someone in your life...someone who can give you a hug. I would encourage your husband to learn to do the care for your children. I don['t know if you have nursing care or not but it seems like maybe they could take some of your load off in the care of your children.
I understand aobut the control thing, but doesn't the doctor have to do what you say anyway? If you decide in the middle of your treatment plan that you don't want to continue, I don't think the docs can do anything about it. You could look at the treatment as giving your more freedom than you would have if you dont' have any treatments. I don't know specifically b/c I don't know what you are facing but just want to encourage you from another angle...
please continue to vent and let us know if there is anything we can do...
- In a message dated 2/1/03 9:28:29 AM, VisibleWorship@... writes:
>please continue to vent and let us know if there is anything we can do...