Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.
 

Letter to the president - thought this was cute

Expand Messages
  • horsefly3263
    Subject: Economic Recovery - Horses TO: President Barack Obama RE: Economic Recovery Stimulus Ideas Mr. President, it has come to my attention that you re
    Message 1 of 3 , Aug 4, 2009
      Subject: Economic Recovery - Horses
      TO: President Barack Obama
      RE: Economic Recovery Stimulus Ideas

      Mr. President, it has come to my attention that you're having some challenges with the economy. If I understand things correctly, we're in a recession, consumer confidence and spending is down, credit is tight, investors are spooked , we need renewable energy, and health care costs are through the roof. Trillions of dollars, not to mention our future, are at stake..

      Mr. President, I'm just a regular citizen, but I think I have a solution.

      Give every American a horse.

      My proposal may n ot make sense to you at first, but let me give you a little background. First of all, horses in the U.S. are a multi-billion dollar industry, and that's just at my house. I suggest you have your economic advisors do a little research on the spending around horse ownership. You'd be surprised, Mr. President.

      Start by visiting the tack and clothing retailers like State Line or Doveror our own FarmHouse. Look at the variety of goods available there. Now take into account that every horse owner, especially if it's a woman, is buying not just one or two, but tons of these items. Believe me.

      So my thinking is that if you give every American a horse, starting when they reach the horse-receptive age of 10, you're going to do two things: boost consumer confidence and boost spending. Immediately.

      Horses make us feel good, and once Americans all own horses (at the government's expense, of course), they will all logically fall into the pattern that every horse owner succumbs to: accessorizing. For starters, we need horse-care implements like buckets and muck rakes, hoof picks and curry combs. And we need at least basic tack, halter, leadline, saddle, saddle pad, bridle and bit. But then the fun begins.

      Zebra print leg wraps. Neon bright fly masks. An assortment of sheets and blankets for all seasons; you've got your cooler, your lightweight blanket, your medium blanket, your heavy blanket. Then there's your stable sheet and your pasture sheet. Also your hoodie, and tail wrap items. And that's just the clothing for the horse.

      Don't get me started on the clothing for the rider, even if he or she doesn't show. Since most Americans don't have a basic riding wardrobe, the stores would be swamped for jeans, boots, breeches, T-shirts, dozens of pairs of cute boot socks, and the ubiquitous ball cap. Tell the retailers to get ready. It'll be Christmas all year long.


      Now let's talk ab out support industries. In addition to the usual veterinarian and farrier expenditures, people also give their horses chiropractic, massage and acupuncture, not to mention buying more beauty products for their horses than they do for themselves. All those professions and industries will benefit.
      And of course there will be a big spike in hay and grain demand, so the farmers will be happy too.

      You see, that's the secret to jump-starting consumer spending through my stimulus package. People will spend money on their horses when they won't spend money on anything else. But, your advisors might say, there's a catch. Aren't we paying the price, in global warming, of the large number of livestock animals we currently have? They produce all that methane! Ah, Mr. President, here's the real beauty of this idea. When you introduce the Methane Assisted Natural Unrefined Renewable Energy plan (M.A.N.U.R.E.), you'll be a hero for coming up with an alternative, renewable, home-grown source of clean energy. Just challenge the energy gurus to come up with a methane gas collection system that can harness all the "natural resource" produced by all those horses to power our cities. Talk about shovel-ready projects: M.A.N.U.R.E. fits the bill!


      And you keep stressing how we need new industries for investment; well, under the M.A.N.U.R.E. plan you can sell Petroleum Offset Opportunity units to investors. By buying these units, investors can help us gradually convert from a petroleum-based economy to one based on horse P.O.O.


      Health care costs will go down, too, as everyone cares for their horses. You can give tax credits based on the amount of time people spend working, riding and hanging out with their horses, which will automatically make them healthier. (Don't tell the docs, but most horseown ers already get their own basic healthcare from their vet.)


      One more thing: everyone is annoyed by these corporate CEOs and their big bonuses in a down economy. So give the executives, say, one horse for every $100,000 of bonus money they've received. Those bonuses will be plowed back into the economy in no time.

      Finally, because you, Mrs. O, and the girls are such role models, you can encourage us all by getting a pony for Sasha and Malia. It will teach them responsibility, help the First Lady plow the garden, and as a bonus: free fertilizer for the Rose Garden.

      If you don't believe me that horse ownership stimulates spending, go ahead, Mr. President, buy that pony for your girls. You'll see.
    • bkdepaul@comcast.net
      Just a friendly reminder that the 4th annual Scavenger Hunt at Fair Hill to benefit the American Cancer Society is Saturday, August 15 (rain date August 22).
      Message 2 of 3 , Aug 4, 2009
        Just a friendly reminder that the 4th annual Scavenger Hunt at Fair Hill to benefit the American Cancer Society  is Saturday, August 15 (rain date August 22).
        ALL registration fees/donations go to ACS!

        Come out and join us in the hunt for a cure to cancer!

        For more information, please feel free to contact me or go to the hunt's web page:

        http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ScavengerHunt

        You can now register on-line at the above web site!

        Barb DePaul
        bkdepaul@...
        2009 Event Chair, ACS RELAY FOR LIFE
        September 18-19, 2009, North East, MD
        Ask me
        about team/sponsorship opportunities
        With your help, we can change HOPE into a CURE!
        h. 610-869-6001
        c. 610-299-1322
        www.relaybythebay.org


      • bkdepaul@comcast.net
        Save the date!  The 5th scavenger hunt at Fair Hill to benefit the American Cancer Society s Relay For Life in North East, MD will be August 21 (rain date the
        Message 3 of 3 , May 16, 2010

          Save the date!  The 5th scavenger hunt at Fair Hill to benefit the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life in North East, MD will be August 21 (rain date the 28th).  As always, 100% of registration fees / donations go to the American Cancer Society.

          You can register on line or download a registration form by going to

           http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ACSScavengerHunt

          See you at the 'hunt!'

           

           

          Barb DePaul
          2009-10 Event Chair, ACS RELAY FOR LIFE
          September 24-25, 2010, North East, MD
          With your help, we can change HOPE into a CURE!
          h. 610-869-6001
          c. 610-299-1322
          www.relaybythebay.org


        Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.