Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

49437Re: [MarvWalkerHorses] Are people losing touch with manners?

Expand Messages
  • ew
    Apr 7, 2014
      Sounds like way to much stress. :((((( And needing lots of personal space
      and time to think and 'be' in an hyper-connected social media world.

      We have a person here at the barn with severe health problems who just
      lost his wife unexpectedly. He likes to visit their Rocky Mountain mare
      and his friends are having a difficult time giving him space. But they are
      doing it.


      > This is something I can’t post on Facebook, so I hope there are still
      > people who’d like to chat on the list.
      > 1.. I might be hyper-sensitive because I’ve had a really bad week with
      > things related to my husband’s death. This includes dealing with
      > policy to cancel joint account credit cards when one person died. I was
      > told this is required by federal law. No one told me about it till it
      > had been cancelled. Another thing that happened overwhelmed me with a
      > feeling of shame, something I would not have expected. All research I
      > did led me to believe that any person who served in the military,
      > whether regular or reserve, active or not, could receive a military
      > plaque for the grave. After I’d processed all the paperwork,
      > including forwarding it to the cemetery supervisor for sign-off and
      > forwarding to the VA, I got a letter saying I’d have to have
      > additional proof that one or more other conditions had been met. I
      > think the shame comes from a general feeling that started when David was
      > going through the short and long-term disability steps last year, then
      > all the things I’ve had to get changed since he died. I say we were,
      > and I am, no longer a customer or employee, just a suspect in a fraud
      > that didn’t happen. That is how every step has been set up, as fraud
      > prevention, but with a heavy indication that the customer has already
      > committed that fraud. It is hideous.
      > Well, on top of this, today really was the straw that broke this camel’s
      > back. You might remember my bizarre neighbor I caught kissing one of my
      > horses over the fence? That’s been several years, and after I asked her
      > at that time never to do anything like that, she didn’t come by here.
      > Her home is back-to-back with ours. Several months ago, I was driving
      > David to a medical appointment, and we met the couple out walking their
      > dogs. They stood in the road to stop us, told us they’d heard about
      > David’s cancer, and asked if they could pray for him. Well, we’d
      > never turn that down, but it was still uncomfortable because she knew we
      > were headed to a doctor but still went on and on in the middle of the
      > road. A few minutes after we got home, her husband zoomed to our driveway
      > to give us some church CDs about healing, and he was so nosey. He’s a
      > policeman, and I’d think he would be a little more aware of respect for
      > people and property. I had zero time to hang out and visit this whole
      > last year. He wanted to know why I block the long driveway, and I said
      > for security. He said, “So you’re afraid?” I said, “Only that I
      > might have to kill someone in self-defense.”
      > I’ve only seen these folks close-up one other time in the past several
      > years, and that was one morning when the woman and their son were out for
      > a bike ride and stopped to ask if they could pet my dog I was out walking.
      > We only talked for a couple of minutes, then they were on their way.
      > Today, I was putting out the evening feed, and the horses were out
      > enjoying the sunshine and tender shoots, and I wondered why they weren’t
      > coming when I called and whistled as they always do. I walked out of the
      > barn and saw this couple leaning on the pasture gate, which is loaded with
      > liability and trespassing and other signs, trying to get the horses to
      > come to them. The more sensible horses saw me and ran in for feed. My
      > squirrel, er, “different” mare was quivering with indecision. This
      > girl is a one-woman horse at this point, and they are compromising my work
      > with her. I had to call out to the people, “Please don’t! I don’t
      > want them talking to strangers. They’re just like children.” Yes, I
      > felt like an idiot, but I thought they’d understand that concept. They
      > also walk their dog without a leash, and he occasionally walks himself
      > without them. His tracks are all through my machine shed, and don’t let
      > me own dogs wander there. It is not a dog-proofed, kid-proofed place in
      > general. These folks are giving me nightmares.
      > The thing that bugs me most about this is the absence of asking if it’s
      > ok to visit before doing it. This winter, I bought several loads of huge
      > round bales from the only seller who would/could deliver it and unload
      > inside the pasture in winter conditions. I really needed the time this
      > gave me. The first two rounds (2 loads each) of deliveries were ok. By
      > the third, I wished I could have found someone else. He brought his
      > daughter, maybe 8 or 9, and let her get out into my horse bunch while he
      > unloaded, but I didn’t know about this till it was over. Then he walked
      > into my outbuildings from the pasture, something I would NEVER allow a
      > stranger to do. I also bought one load of heavy square bales from this
      > guy, and he didn’t unload them where I asked him to, plus he stacked
      > them over my head despite my request he not do that. A nearby house for
      > sale was briefly occupied by a young family doing some fixup work for the
      > owner. They enjoyed short walks with their toddler. We’d exchange
      > waves and “Hi” now and then. One day, I was mowing the barnyard. The
      > dad let the boy come running down the driveway at me while I was walking
      > away. I spotted him out the corner of my eye and stopped the mower. Then
      > I told the child he had to go back to his dad who was still at the edge of
      > the road. His dad was laughing and made no effort to stop the kid from
      > running into danger. Boy wouldn’t go. I told his dad he needed to
      > fetch or call the boy back, and he finally did, then he called me
      > paranoid. I was mowing with a walk-behind sickle mower. What a jerk.
      > None of these are “bad people,” they just have lost contact with
      > boundaries.
      > The neighbors are a problem. If I can’t trust a family with a policeman
      > to obey signs and verbal requests, who can I trust? They homeschool the
      > son, have yard signs for very conservative politicians, and wear a lot of
      > patriotic shirts. How can they have no respect for my private property?
      > I was polite both times I’ve asked her to leave the horses alone. I
      > don’t want to annoy neighbors, but I don’t want to be a doormat,
      > either. Mostly, I just don’t want to be dealing with this at all while
      > I’m grieving.
      > In a fog,
      > Janis CJ
    • Show all 10 messages in this topic